The jungle was not for the faint of heart. No, it was dark, dangerous, and most of all, sinister. But one man dared to challenge the dreaded jungles of the world. His name? His name was Eeve Sterwin, Snake wrangler extraordinaire.
It was late in the day, and Mr. Sterwin was tiring. He had trekked through the thick, looming jungle since 6 o'clock this morning. As he was walking, he began to smell one of the most grotesque smells he had ever experienced.
"Crikey! That joost abowt stanks gnarly right!" Complained Eeve, barely being able to breathe.
"It's so nasty, but I have to continue onward mate!" he said into the brand new Panasonic AG-AC130 Video Camera.
However, the smell was somewhat powerful, mainly in the sense that it has the mystical power to fully erect penises within minutes.
And, within minutes, Eeve Sterwin was aquiring a really chubby Johnson. He knew that this was not supposed to be happening in the middle of the jungle. He knew, that in the back of his mind, Eeve Sterwin does not pop "Random Chubbies". He concluded that it was the smell. Screaming the word "NO" over and over, he tried to fight the inevitable boner. But alas, his efforts were futile. With one final battle cry, he screamed "NOOOOOOOOO!", whilst popping the largest hard-on ever achieved on earth. The veins were straining, the skin was ripping form rapid expansion, his eyes were bulging from his head.
Eeve became angry, he felt a sort of "sexual tension" within the forest.
"HOLY FUCK I NEED TO FUCK SOMETHING!" Screamed Eeve with a rage that would fury even a pack of turtles.
"Come here, Snake!" Bellowed the sex-crazed Australian.
He grasped a nearby King Cobra that measured about 13ft. in length, and then snapped its hissing neck. Eeve then proceeded to shove the still-wriggling, dead King Cobra up into his urethra. There was blood everywhere, and Eeve Sterwin loved every drop of it.
"Fuck yeah, snake! I love the burn your venom gives my genitals, oh CRIKEY!" Sterwin cried out in the jungle in pain and pure ecstasy while he did so.
Eeve then proceeded to find more things to fuck to death. He raped 2 wild boars, 6 tucans, and 4 tigers. But his rod would not succumb to his beastiality desires, no, he needed Human. That's when he turned to his camera man.
"Hey Camera man!" said Eeve with a sadistic look on his face.
"Yes?" answered the camera man cautiously.
Before he had time to finish, Eeve Sterwin was already on top of the camera man, literally EATING the camera man's clothes away from his warm body. Eeve then proceeded to FUCK the Panasonic AG-AC130 Video Camera up into the camera man's tight, succulent anus.
"Oh yes, Oh yes!" Screamed Eeve at the top of his lungs.
Within the timespan of these 3 words, the camera man had died. Sterwin's throbbing meatstick had returned to its normal length, still covered in various animal blood and feces. All was well in the jungle, and Eeve Sterwin died 3 months later in the ocean. END