Thorns of Love, a bleach fanfic

My first attempt at a song oriented yaoi between Byakuya and Renji. Mostly Renji's POV, but I threw in some of Byakuya's thoughts too. It is also my stab at writing something not long winded.

The lyrics are Timbaland's Apologize, featuring One Republic. Dedicated to al ByaXRen fans everywhere!

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach.

Thorns of Love

Tearing down the alley, Renji could just make out a lone silouette shrouded by the darkening sky. Black clouds threatened rain, but he didn't care - he had to catch up to him, before he'd walk out of his life entirely. Renji knew that this was it; Kuchiki Byakuya would return to his estate and pretend that their time together never happened.

"Byakuya, where are you going?" Renji defiantly shouted; against the rain, against his taicho. Large droplets spattered in his eyes and stained his cheeks, blurring his eyesight. Determined to stop his captain from making a mistake, he felt the heat rise on his face.

I'm holding on your rope,

Got me ten feet off the ground

The figure stopped moving, acknowledging the presence of the other shinigami. Byakuya's reiatsu waivered as if torn between continuing on or staying. Slowly he turned toward the lieutenant, revealing a very distraught visage. Despite his collective pose and stride, it was evident this was only a facade against deeper emotions. Renji knew this.

"Renji, I cannot continue this." Pain framed his regal features, sullying them to a meager haggard appearance. "I cannot love you the way you want me to." The voice came out mechanical and dry, as though devoid of any feeling.

And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound

Those words stung, but he knew better. Renji could feel the hurt, the pain inside his taicho; the pain that he tried every waking moment to prevent. Nights of comforting Byakuya flashed through his mind, dealing with torment the captain self inflicted. The loss of Hisana was horrible to bear, but it was much worse to see it so plainly written on Byakuya's face.

Echoing in his mind were the words that Byakuya told him, when they had loved each other in the twilight, after the tears of his captain subsided…'I need you, Renji.'

"I care about you, Renji, but I cannot…" he left the sentence trail, unable to bring himself to say the words.

You tell me that you need me

Then you go and cut me down, but wait

Please don't say those words, Byakuya, Renji thought. Nothing would ache more than to hear them from your lips, the ones I left so many kisses upon to stop the pain.

"I am sorry." Water trickled at the corner of Byakuya's eye, from what Renji could see. The rain was distorting his own eyesight; at least that's what he told himself. Those weren't tears falling...

You tell me that you're sorry

Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

The captain turned, prepared to walk away from the best thing that had ever happened to him. After Hisana's death, he found comfort in the arms of his fukutaicho. No one else could fill the place of his lieutenant – his lover, but the ache in his heart had grown too strong after the ryoka incident.

What if he had killed Renji?

What if Renji would have died too – like Hisana? It hurt too much, like it did with her. He could feel the serpent coiled around his heart squeeze in response to the thought.

Better to live a lonely existence than being eaten away by the thought that your lover would be killed by a hollow, another shinigami…or by your own sword. He could not bear another loss.

Renji stood in front of him somehow – shunpo? The red-haired lieutenant's lips pressed against the noble Kuchiki's, ending his thoughts.

That it's too late to apologize

It's too late

I said it's too late to apologize

It's too late

"I will never leave you, Kuchiki Byakuya. Don't tell me you're sorry. Don't tell me you're leaving me. Just love me the way you always have. It's too late to apologize – because I already love you." Renji's breaths came rapidly, as though he had been running; his heart beat fast, pressed up to his chest Byakuya could feel the flutter against his hand.

I'd take another chance, take a fall

Take a shot for you

And I need you like a heart needs a beat

But it's nothing new - yeah

"You are who I live for, Kuchiki Byakuya. Please don't take that away from me." Renji was holding tight to Byakuya, he realized – but he needed to hold him…needed him to see.

Turning the pale face towards his own, he gazed into the azure pools that reflected his own features. Red strands were clinging to his temples, sagging under the weight of the rain. He could see his own red eyes piercing the captain's looking for a reason, an answer…he couldn't just let this end.

Those deep blue eyes closed, failing to keep out the emotion building behind them. "I can't bear for you to leave me, too…" A fist pounded Renji's chest. "You'll leave me, and what will be left? I cannot lose you..." The last sentence came out a whisper, strangled in his throat from the tears that threatened to fall. His fist beat again, and again on the broad tan tattooed chest; all Renji could do was hold him tightly.

I loved you with the a fire red-

Now it's turning blue, and you say...

"Sorry" like the angel

Heaven let me think was you

But I'm afraid...

"I love you, Renji…Gods, I love you…" Silently they held each other as the rain fell, enveloping them in their own world of love and hate. The captain's body shook into the larger man's embrace as the tears traitorously spread down his cheeks.

"I am sorry," Byakuya whispered. "I am sorry…" For everything, he thought. For not being enough, for being afraid.

It's too late to apologize, it's too late

I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-

"It's okay, Byakuya. I'll always be here for you, through heaven or hell. I will never leave you." Large hands brushed through the wet hair clinging to Byakuya's forehead, running them along the kenseikan so neatly placed in wound strands. "Don't apologize to me, because I do this for the one I love."

Renji felt reiatsu wash over him as the fist that had been pushing into his chest lost its pressure. Byakuya was buried in his chest, hands wrining the dark fabric of his kimono. Slowly he came up to look at him again, wet streaks clinging to the porcelain skin.

He looked so sad, Renji thought. Please gods, let me take that pain away.

Gently, he kissed his taicho – his lover, holding him ever closer to his own body.

Slowly, the rain subsided.

I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet... off the ground...

End

AN: Well, what do you think? I normally don't write lyrics based stories, but I had to try it.