9:37 Dragon
Location: ?
As I lay in the ruins of devastation, the ruins of my life, a thought came to me. How had I ended up here? Was it fate? Had I always been destined to kill the Archdemon and become enthralled in events that would ruin my life and the lives of countless others?
I realised it was silent now. The screams had stopped and no children were crying. I couldn't hear anything in fact. I attempted to move my arm and felt a sharp pain course through it, making me cringe. I abandoned that idea and opened my eyes instead.
It was pitch black and I became aware of the fact that I was surrounded by rock. In my mouth I could taste blood and ash. I parted my lips to draw in air, but I only succeeded in drawing in dust. It caught in my throat and my body shook with a racking cough. Blood was trickling down my face from my forehead and it was making me dizzy and tired.
I closed my eyes again and let out a small sigh. Perhaps I should just give up. It was likely that no one would find me here and I could just slip away. I wouldn't have to face the consequences of my actions. I wouldn't have to face HIM. Oh my love...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You never wanted this for us. An image of his devastated face came to the front of mind and, in that moment, the pain in my heart superseded anything else. I gripped the hilt of the dagger he has given me and oppressed a sob.
Perhaps it wasn't fate that had brought me here. Perhaps it was the Maker who had led me to this point? He must surely despise me now for I had surely broken almost every commandment that had ever been spouted by his prophet Andraste.
How did they go? Something along the lines of not stealing...I had done that. Many times.
Those who bring harm without provocation to the least of His Children are hated and accursed by the Maker...had I had provocation enough every time I had killed?
Magic exists to serve man and never to rule over him. I was no mage, but others had used their magic to serve me.
I smiled a little at the realisation that I seemed to be constantly sinning. And the fact that I always found some way of justifying myself when I murdered or conspired with blood mages. The only thing was, I couldn't find a way to justify myself this time. I had failed the Grey Wardens, I had failed my love, and I had failed myself. It was time to give up and just sleep. I would be with my mother again...and Alistair.
I let out another small sigh and relaxed as best as I could, waiting for the air in this small space to run out.
Minutes passed silently... I wasn't sure how long I had been down here, it could have been minutes or it could have been hours. I tried to stop the images of my friends, old and new, coming to the front of my mind but they seemed determined to plague me with guilt.
Oghren, Sigrun, Zevran, ...what would they think of me? And even my newest friend Hawke, one of the most important people in Kirkwall, where was she now? Was she caught up in this mess too?
And Anders. At the thought of the mage's name a searing heat of anger shot through my body and I opened my eyes with a start.
This was not my fault. This was HIS! He was the reason I was here and the reason why I was in this blighted country. I gritted my teeth in fury and released my grip on my dagger, moving my hand instead to try and push through the rubble just above my head.
How could I have forgotten what he had said to me just a few hours before? How he had shamed the Wardens?
I was not giving up without making him face the consequences of his actions. I was getting out of here. And Anders was going to pay.