Spencer's eyes widened at the sight of his captor readying the syringe. He tried to shrink away but he was bound to his chair. He wasn't going anywhere. Tobias Hankel positioned the needle over Reid's exposed skin, ignoring the young agent's protests.
"you know it will make it feel better", Tobias reasoned, pushing the plunger down and releasing the Dilaudid into Spencer's blood stream. All of the tension in his body was released and he was flooded with a sense of serenity before losing consciousness.
Reid woke in a cold sweat. Sitting up, he pulled the damp bed sheets from his body and leaned over to check the time: 02:00 am. Sighing, Spencer got out of bed, knowing he could not sleep again after his nightmare. He turned the bedroom light on, grabbed his mobile phone and his book- The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – and made his way to the lounge room.
Spencer's nightmares have frequented his nights ever since Georgia, although he would never admit it to the team. Early in the morning, when sleep evaded him and was tormented by headaches, his mind strayed to thoughts of the small bottle of Dilaudid hidden in his medicine cabinet; thought of using again. It had been so many years since his last hit, but he still kept the bottle, still had cravings.
It was the thought of the team's disappointment that stopped him. Especially JJ. The deep sadness that she felt during his junkie days racked him with guilt. Reid would never tell anyone, he couldn't even admit it to himself, but JJ was his main reason for giving up. But she had Will now and cute little Henry; Spencer knew his chance (if one had ever existed) had passed him by.
Spreading out on his couch, Spencer put on his glasses and opened his book. He read the first story then put it down. He had of course already read it, and he couldn't concentrate. His focus kept drifting to the mobile phone resting on the coffee table. He reached for it and started scrolling through his contacts. It wasn't a very large list, just the team, Bennington Sanatorium, and a few old college professors. He lingered when he reached JJ's name.
Should he call? Would she be upset with him? – it was so early after all. These questions raced through the profilers mind. He knew it was inappropriate, they had work tomorrow morning, the last thing JJ wanted was for Reid to call at 2 in the morning and spill his guts to her. But still his finger hovered over the call button.
But what would he say? Hi JJ it's Reid just wanted to say that I still have nightmares about Georgia and they make me want to use Dilaudid again! And also, thinking of you is the only thing that stops me! So yeah, just thought I'd intrude on your life again, just like I did when Emily "died" because my life is shit!
No, Spencer couldn't call, he wasn't that selfish.
He put the phone back down and sighed in defeat.
Just another day in the life of Spencer Reid.