For those of you who are skeptical, let me tell you this: this is a real story. "Why it happened?" you might ask…who knows. I don't even really know why it happened, but let me tell you how it happened. It was a great battle, one of the greatest battles to go down in the world history books. You could say that it was an Ultimate Showdown.
Anyway, it all started when King Kong was passing nearby City 18 when a man named Gordon Freeman came by. He looked up at King Kong and almost said something, but everyone knows that Gordon Freeman doesn't talk. Still, he got out his crowbar and, for no apparent reason, started whacking King Kong with it. This made King Kong really pissed off and he started to stomp the ground.
Gordon ran but was stopped by Majin Buu. Freeman bounced off Buu's belly and fell to the feet of King Kong.
"Why mean man run into Buu?" Buu asked, "Buu make you pay!"
Buu was about to pull off a Kamehameha blast when Sammus Aran blasted him with her power beam. King Kong swung at her but he missed and got hit by Freeman's Gauss cannon. Buu went after Sammus and attacked her with a Special Force Beam. She dodged and hit Buu with her charged power beam. King Kong knocked her over and Freeman hit Buu with his Gluon gun.
This fighting started to bring a crowd of people around to see what was going on. All four of the fighters had fans: some for King Kong, some for Freeman, some for Sammus, and some for Buu. From behind the crowd a white convertible with bull horns on the front flew overhead and landed right in front of them. From the car came Boss Hogg and a couple of police cars followed behind him.
"Arrest them!" he shouted, "Arrest them…guys…in the…funny…lookin'…suits. Just arrest them!"
From behind him, there was a noise that Boss Hogg dreaded to hear and when he turned around, much to his dismay, the General Lee was blaring its horn and who was driving it? Not Bo, not Luke, but the General Robert E. Lee himself. He took a crossbow and shot Boss Hogg right through the neck.
"That'll teach ya to try and mess with them Duke Boys," he said as he drove on.
Lord Sauron suddenly appeared and observed the commotion: man vs. beast vs. some…type of alien. "Finally," he said, "now that the worlds greatest warriors are at battle, I shall claim my ring. The one ring…TO RULE THEM ALL!"
As he finished his soliloquy, O.J. Simpson came behind him and cut Sauron's right ring finger off. "Noooooooo!" Sauron exclaimed, "How did he know that my one weakness was my right left finger?"
O.J. ran off to his white SUV, got in, and drove off. He found out later that he was being followed by Barney Calhoun in his scout car.
"Give it up, O.J.," Calhoun said over the megaphone, "You may have gotten off the last time but we've got you now."
Just then a Strider impaled O.J.'s car with its foot; O.J. fell out and ran away before Calhoun could catch him. Back to the original fight, Freeman, Sammus, King Kong, and Buu were still fighting when Predator came in and started fighting them. He took Sammus and Freeman out in one blow and he knocked King Kong down but he still had to deal with Buu.
George Clooney came in and said, "Hey, this isn't the world premier of my new movie Syriana; there's more people here."
Clooney got knocked down by Luigi high-flying kick. That's right: Luigi was there and not Mario, what now? Adrian Monk came in and as soon as he saw the bodies (several innocent civilians, Boss Hogg included, were killed in the fight) he started getting panicky. He put two black gloves on and started rearranging the bodies into no particular order.
O.J. came back and said to Monk, "Hey, those are my gloves…I mean…I was borrowing those gloves from a friend. They're not mine; I've never seen those gloves in my life."
Russell Crowe came behind and snapped his neck. "Ohlroight, 'ho's next?" he shouted. Predator noticed him and charged at him. "Bring it on, Predator!" he exclaimed, "Oim no' afraid ta foight you." For the record everyone knows that Russell Crowe is making movies, making songs, and foightin' round the world.