The Uruha Jyushinshun Sketch
By P.D. Wright
Disclaimer, disclaimer, where is my disclaimer?
Where is the authority for this story? Not here, it is, not here.
In a building, somewhere in the bustling metropolis of Tokyo, a boy was entertaining his
girlfriend.
Not in that way, you henteis.
No, this boy was a spiky haired flame master by the name of Recca Hanabishi. He was creating
shadows on the wall for his "princes", his hime, Yanagi Sakoshito, a cute, though sometimes
infuriatingly nice and sweet natured girl. She also is possessed of a bizarre healing ability, which
has made her the target of a ambitious tycoon, with more money to spare then scruples. The
current figure on the wall is a group of fingers, stretching to the sky.
"Ooh.. a bunny!" Yanagi squealed. Recca sweatdropped.
"Umm.. Sure, Hime.. whatever you say.."
"You mean that wasn't a bunny, Recca-kun?" she asked, her sickingly sweet voice tinged with
tears.
"No, no, I didn't say that..." Recca said, fumbling to get thru this landmine.
An old man had appeared, stood gazing at the wall in concentration.
"I wonder," He said, "Where she got a rabbit out of that..?"
Recca turned, smacked him on the head. Just then, as if to relieve the tension, shadows appeared
to move, towards a corner, finally resolving themselves into the shape of a dark-haired woman,
who appeared twenty-something, yet was much older.
Much older. Older then it is perhaps healthy to mention.
"Recca," She said, finally gaining the young man's attention. He looked over there, frowned.
"Mother...?" He said, for indeed, this woman was this sixteen year old's mother. I told you, she is
far older then is safe to tell.
"Recca, we have a problem," She said now. Recca tensed, Yanagi looked alarmed, and the old
man glanced over.
"What is it now, Kagero?" He asked. The woman, Kagero, or Kagehoushi if you like, looked at
him a moment, said:
"It's the Uruha."
Recca looked deflated, he sighed, said:
"Oh, like I didn't expect the Uruha.."
As if on cue, the doors suddenly opened, and a group of not quite ten, more like six, burst in and
stood there glaring at the youngsters. The man standing dead center, a tall man, with dark hair
that resembled the woman and the boy, glared, his eye piercing out from a elaborate and white
mask, his robe a sickly red. His arm, sporting bangles.
"No-body expects the Uruha!" he yelled, as the others took up poses, supposed to be menacing,
but looking nothing less then sentai poses stolen from tv.
"Our weapons are surprise!" The man yelled. Recca rolled his eyes. Yanagi looked frightened.
She was the only one.
"And fear.." The others looked at the man suddenly, a long haired pretty boy in a ninja outfit, a
red-haired woman, a tall man in an elaborate outfit that looked not out of place on a deck of
cards, two younger girls, one with long pink-red hair, the other shorter blue hair. They shifted
uneasily.
"Umm.. Kurei-sama.." The pretty-boy ninja began. Kurei ignored him, and went on.
"Our two weapons are fear and surprise," He yelled, then, "And ruthlessness.."
He paused, glared at the ninja.
"Amongst our weaponry.." Kurei glared at them again, as Yanagi slid behind Recca, he stood
there with his arms folded, and Kagero leaned against the wall. He began again.
"Amongst our weaponry, are such items as fear and surprise, and ruthlessness.."
He paused, glaring some more.
"Oh, sod it. I'll come in again." And he pushed the Uruha back out the door. Recca blinked.
"Uhhh.. I didn't expect the Uruha Jyushinshun..." He said, hesitantly. Again the door burst open,
and again Kurei and his band of usual suspects entered the room. He glared at them fearsly, said:
"Noo-o-body expect the Uruha Jyushinshun! Our weapons are fear and surprise and ruthlessness
and nice red uniforms... Kuso!!" He spat, his hand punching his other.
"I'm sorry, I can't get this done... Raiha!"
"Sir!," Said the pretty boy ninja.
"I order you to do our intro."
"Me, sir?"
With that, Kurei bundled the hapless group of not-quite ten back out the door, the youngest girl,
Aki, muttering some choice comments. Recca blinked again, staring hollow-eyed at the door. His
mother coughed. He shook his head, said.
"I didn't expect the Uruha Jyushinshun!"
And with that, the group of not-ten burst back in, only this time the pretty boy Raiha was in the
lead, his long purple hair flying in the commotion. He coughed, said:
"Nobody expect the, ah, the.."
"Uruha," Kurei whispered hoarsely from behind him.
"I know, sir.. Nobody expects the Uruha Jyushinshun. In fact, those who do expect.."
"Our chief weapon!" Kurei hissed.
"Right. Our chief weapon is.. um.."
"Fear.."
"Fear, and.. um.."
"Surprise.."
"Fear and surprise.."
Kurei suddenly leaped forward, pushing Raiha back.
"Our chief weapon is surprise and fear and whatnot! Now, Recca, brother of mine," He allowed
himself a evil grin, "How about a little game?"
"Game?" Recca said.
"Don't forget, Kurei," Kagero now said, "That the Hokage will always take you on."
"Oh," Said Kurei mockingly, "Like I didn't expect the Hokage."
And with that, another door opened, and a group of teenagers, the Hokage of the last statement,
burst in, lead by a cute if fierce purple-haired girl in a green t-shirt and cut-offs. behind her, a large
boy with a Mohawk, a younger boy with fangs and spiked hair, his wrist covered with
handkerchiefs, and another boy, colder, ice eyes, and long girlish hair and face.
"Nobody expects," The girl yelled, "The Hokage clan!"
The room sweatdropped. Recca had his mouth open in shock.
"What the hell is Fuuko doing.." he muttered. Yanagi clasped both hand under her chin and
gasped.
"Ooohh.. I didn't see that coming!" she squealed. Recca, and the room sweatdropped.
Recca looked at his older brother warily. He sighed, said:
"What are you doing here, Kurei?"
"A challenge."
"To what? Our sanity?"
Kurei's cheek twitched. the two younger girls giggled slightly until the woman silenced them
with a look.
And this bit ends.
Sorry so short. I couldn't come up with a of way of ending this.
Based, as is obvious, on Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch. Hoped you enjoyed it. If not,
eh, take off, hosers.
PDW
By P.D. Wright
Disclaimer, disclaimer, where is my disclaimer?
Where is the authority for this story? Not here, it is, not here.
In a building, somewhere in the bustling metropolis of Tokyo, a boy was entertaining his
girlfriend.
Not in that way, you henteis.
No, this boy was a spiky haired flame master by the name of Recca Hanabishi. He was creating
shadows on the wall for his "princes", his hime, Yanagi Sakoshito, a cute, though sometimes
infuriatingly nice and sweet natured girl. She also is possessed of a bizarre healing ability, which
has made her the target of a ambitious tycoon, with more money to spare then scruples. The
current figure on the wall is a group of fingers, stretching to the sky.
"Ooh.. a bunny!" Yanagi squealed. Recca sweatdropped.
"Umm.. Sure, Hime.. whatever you say.."
"You mean that wasn't a bunny, Recca-kun?" she asked, her sickingly sweet voice tinged with
tears.
"No, no, I didn't say that..." Recca said, fumbling to get thru this landmine.
An old man had appeared, stood gazing at the wall in concentration.
"I wonder," He said, "Where she got a rabbit out of that..?"
Recca turned, smacked him on the head. Just then, as if to relieve the tension, shadows appeared
to move, towards a corner, finally resolving themselves into the shape of a dark-haired woman,
who appeared twenty-something, yet was much older.
Much older. Older then it is perhaps healthy to mention.
"Recca," She said, finally gaining the young man's attention. He looked over there, frowned.
"Mother...?" He said, for indeed, this woman was this sixteen year old's mother. I told you, she is
far older then is safe to tell.
"Recca, we have a problem," She said now. Recca tensed, Yanagi looked alarmed, and the old
man glanced over.
"What is it now, Kagero?" He asked. The woman, Kagero, or Kagehoushi if you like, looked at
him a moment, said:
"It's the Uruha."
Recca looked deflated, he sighed, said:
"Oh, like I didn't expect the Uruha.."
As if on cue, the doors suddenly opened, and a group of not quite ten, more like six, burst in and
stood there glaring at the youngsters. The man standing dead center, a tall man, with dark hair
that resembled the woman and the boy, glared, his eye piercing out from a elaborate and white
mask, his robe a sickly red. His arm, sporting bangles.
"No-body expects the Uruha!" he yelled, as the others took up poses, supposed to be menacing,
but looking nothing less then sentai poses stolen from tv.
"Our weapons are surprise!" The man yelled. Recca rolled his eyes. Yanagi looked frightened.
She was the only one.
"And fear.." The others looked at the man suddenly, a long haired pretty boy in a ninja outfit, a
red-haired woman, a tall man in an elaborate outfit that looked not out of place on a deck of
cards, two younger girls, one with long pink-red hair, the other shorter blue hair. They shifted
uneasily.
"Umm.. Kurei-sama.." The pretty-boy ninja began. Kurei ignored him, and went on.
"Our two weapons are fear and surprise," He yelled, then, "And ruthlessness.."
He paused, glared at the ninja.
"Amongst our weaponry.." Kurei glared at them again, as Yanagi slid behind Recca, he stood
there with his arms folded, and Kagero leaned against the wall. He began again.
"Amongst our weaponry, are such items as fear and surprise, and ruthlessness.."
He paused, glaring some more.
"Oh, sod it. I'll come in again." And he pushed the Uruha back out the door. Recca blinked.
"Uhhh.. I didn't expect the Uruha Jyushinshun..." He said, hesitantly. Again the door burst open,
and again Kurei and his band of usual suspects entered the room. He glared at them fearsly, said:
"Noo-o-body expect the Uruha Jyushinshun! Our weapons are fear and surprise and ruthlessness
and nice red uniforms... Kuso!!" He spat, his hand punching his other.
"I'm sorry, I can't get this done... Raiha!"
"Sir!," Said the pretty boy ninja.
"I order you to do our intro."
"Me, sir?"
With that, Kurei bundled the hapless group of not-quite ten back out the door, the youngest girl,
Aki, muttering some choice comments. Recca blinked again, staring hollow-eyed at the door. His
mother coughed. He shook his head, said.
"I didn't expect the Uruha Jyushinshun!"
And with that, the group of not-ten burst back in, only this time the pretty boy Raiha was in the
lead, his long purple hair flying in the commotion. He coughed, said:
"Nobody expect the, ah, the.."
"Uruha," Kurei whispered hoarsely from behind him.
"I know, sir.. Nobody expects the Uruha Jyushinshun. In fact, those who do expect.."
"Our chief weapon!" Kurei hissed.
"Right. Our chief weapon is.. um.."
"Fear.."
"Fear, and.. um.."
"Surprise.."
"Fear and surprise.."
Kurei suddenly leaped forward, pushing Raiha back.
"Our chief weapon is surprise and fear and whatnot! Now, Recca, brother of mine," He allowed
himself a evil grin, "How about a little game?"
"Game?" Recca said.
"Don't forget, Kurei," Kagero now said, "That the Hokage will always take you on."
"Oh," Said Kurei mockingly, "Like I didn't expect the Hokage."
And with that, another door opened, and a group of teenagers, the Hokage of the last statement,
burst in, lead by a cute if fierce purple-haired girl in a green t-shirt and cut-offs. behind her, a large
boy with a Mohawk, a younger boy with fangs and spiked hair, his wrist covered with
handkerchiefs, and another boy, colder, ice eyes, and long girlish hair and face.
"Nobody expects," The girl yelled, "The Hokage clan!"
The room sweatdropped. Recca had his mouth open in shock.
"What the hell is Fuuko doing.." he muttered. Yanagi clasped both hand under her chin and
gasped.
"Ooohh.. I didn't see that coming!" she squealed. Recca, and the room sweatdropped.
Recca looked at his older brother warily. He sighed, said:
"What are you doing here, Kurei?"
"A challenge."
"To what? Our sanity?"
Kurei's cheek twitched. the two younger girls giggled slightly until the woman silenced them
with a look.
And this bit ends.
Sorry so short. I couldn't come up with a of way of ending this.
Based, as is obvious, on Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch. Hoped you enjoyed it. If not,
eh, take off, hosers.
PDW