Danse Russe

Chapter 1

Chase this ghost from me

"Black," she said softly, pressing her body against the door as she pushed it closed. He didn't look up at her from his book as he read, leaning against his bedpost. She idly wondered if she should call him by his first name, considering what she came here to ask. "Black," she repeated, unable to bring herself to make this personal. She didn't want it to be personal.

Sirius' grey eyes flicked up from his book, their fathomless, dark depths staring, unblinkingly, as anxiety washed over her. "McKinnon" he replied tonelessly, gazing back down at his book, mindlessly flipping the page.

Swallowing down every last ounce of her pride, Marlene took a deep breath, shoving herself off the door. "Black." Her voice sounded rather breathless, so she stopped and swallowed, again. "Black, I want you to fuck me."

Haughtily raising his head, he dropped one leg off the edge of the bed, placing the open book in his lap. "Now, why would I want to fuck you?" he asked, one dark eyebrow rising in a perfect arch. She swallowed, again. To hell if she knew. At her blank expression he snorted, rolling his eyes, and turned back to his book. With a dismissive wave of his hand, he coolly said, "McKinnon, I have standards; standards that you don't meet."

Marlene forced down her scowl and her tears, biting her lip angrily. It wasn't as if he was the only option, he was just the closest. "I didn't ask if I met your fucking standards, Black. I said: I want to have sex," she bit out, hoping that she didn't sound as weak as she felt.

"Correction. You said: 'I want you to fuck me,' which is completely different. Yet, my answer remains the same. No." His gaze stayed resting on the pages of his book the entire time he spoke.

When the door didn't open, he sighed in exasperation and glanced up at her. He felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on him as her haunted image invaded his mind. There were heavy dark rings around her eyes, and the usually sparkling hazel orbs were strikingly hollow. Her wild dark hair was coaxed up into a ponytail, which hung limply down to her shoulders. She hadn't bothered to change out of the school uniform, though it was long past dinnertime, she had simply taken off her shoes and tie. It seemed as if all the things that made her little "Marley" McKinnon were missing.

She seemed to be trying to come up with some way to get out of the mess without damaging too much of her pride, but her mind was working at a much slower pace than normal. Sighing he snapped his book closed and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Why?" he asked blowing his dark hair out of his eyes.

Her hands twitched at her sides and she thought for a moment praying for the words that left her mouth to be anything, but the truth. "I'm horny, why else?" There was something arrogant about her tone, but for Sirius, the arrogance was drown out by an almost unnoticeable aching.

He stood up lazily stretching his long legs and strode over to her, his head tilting slightly as he gazed at her appraisingly. His fingers ran up into her hair as he cupped her cheek, lifting her chin and making her hold his gaze. "We play by my rules, McKinnon. You do as I say, and you get want you want. The moment, you stop listening; I am done." Marlene nodded simply. Who cared if she had to give him the power, the control? She just wanted to feel something so badly, and he could make her feel, this would make her feel. That's why she was there after all. That's why she wanted him; he was good at this.

As he took a step forward, she fell a step back, trying to stay out of his way. "No," he murmured demandingly dropping his hand to her waist and pulling her back. "I didn't say to move." Leaning over her he flicked the door locked, his body pressing against hers, holding her in place with one hand splayed across her back. Something inside her told her she should be scared, but something deeper told her that she was safe, so she didn't argue.

"Now," he said softly stepping away from her, resting his hands on her shoulders before sliding them down her arms and taking her hands, gently leading her farther into the room. "Stand here. Don't speak. Don't move."

She stood perfectly still, a sense of peace she hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity washing over her as he took away all of her power, all of her control. Releasing her hands, Sirius placed himself directly in front of her, his chin hovering way over her head as he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. He felt her anxiety ebb away the longer he stood there.

It was funny how that happened, every time. The moment he took control was the moment they relaxed. It was that way with girl he'd ever been with. "Good," he whispered against her skin before he stepped away. Marlene was tempted to follow him, to stay inside the warmth that surrounded him but she forced herself to remain in the space he had given her.

Holding her face in his hands, he searched her eyes looking for whatever it was that had shattered her. Everyone had been talking about it for weeks, her withdrawn appearance, her lack of enthusiasm, her listless smiles. He hadn't bothered to look before now. She would get over it soon enough, he had told himself. What it was exactly she was supposed to be getting over, he didn't know, but Marlene McKinnon wasn't the kind who needed someone. She handled everything on her own, always had.

Her eyes slowly moved to focus on the floor and he felt the nervous energy try to rise up in her again. He had to start moving or he would lose her.

His fingers trailed down from her cheeks caressing her neck and her eyes fell closed as she hummed at his touch. A smile tugged at his lips. He never thought he could enjoy any noise that left her lips, but he found himself a little fond of that one. He lowered his head and Marlene could feel his hot breath wash across her skin as he undid the buttons of her shirt. Her hand tried to find its way to his hair, but he caught it. Whispering, "No," against her palm he placed it back down at her side. Kneeling as he unbuttoned the last few buttons Sirius laid his head on her abdomen, exhaling purposefully against the soft flesh before placing a tiny kiss below her navel. Marlene's body tingled with warmth and she inhaled deeply to prevent a shiver.

Standing up again Sirius placed another tiny kiss on her shoulder as he removed her shirt tossing it into a chair near his bed. He laced his fingers with those of her left hand, bringing it up, his breath washing across her skin and kissed her elbow before placing her hand on his shoulder. Easily locating the zipper of her skirt he slipped it down, kneeling on the floor once more as he followed the fabric down with his hands and lips. He allowed her hand to remain resting on his shoulder as she stepped out of her skirt then he kissed the palm and returned it to its position at her side.

He kissed her hip nudging down the blue fabric of her panties to taste the skin. He traced a pattern of endless circles on her thigh before kissing the smooth skin and removing her stockings, teasing her with his touch the entire time. Standing he kissed her eyes closed and slipped the straps of her bra from her shoulders. Pressing his cheek to hers he whispered, "Tell me, if you want to stop," softly into her ear.

Marlene shook her head and a sob threaten to escape her lips. "Shush," he murmured, "shush, it's alright." Sirius held her for a moment just simply holding her, wondering if maybe he wasn't doing the right thing. Maybe whatever it was that was threatening to break her wouldn't be fixed by this, wouldn't be coaxed out of her by this.

When she settled again he caressed her cheek before stepping around her, letting his hand travel across her skin. Unhooking her bra, he laid his head on her shoulder, letting his breath wash across her spine. He slipped a finger under the waistband of her panties and smirked slightly as he trailed it along the edge as he moved to stand in front of her again. Marlene graced him with a small smile and he tugged them down off her hips letting him fall to the floor, before ending all contact between the two of them.

Uneasiness washed over her as she realized how very vulnerable she was. How very unbalanced this situation was. Sirius saw it and his smirk widened. Gazing at her through lowered lashes he shoved his hands into his pockets and slowly circled her. Marlene's fingers immediately went back to their nervous twitching and her breaths became irregular in anxiety. "You're fidgeting," he said coolly, crossing his arms and stopping in front of her. She quickly halted her movements and settled for biting her lip. "That's better," he cooed, removing the tie from her hair and letting it cascade down around her shoulders.

He circled her again before methodically undressing just to the left of her, just out of her sight leaving her there worry and fill with anxiety, yet again. When he came back into view he was unclothed and Marlene's breath hitched in her chest at his beauty. Though he was meters away, the sheer magnitude of his presence made her made her feel like a frightened little girl.

He stepped up in front of her until they were bare inches apart, his dark, fathomless eyes staring into her soul. Taking her hands, he placed one on his chest, and the other at the base of his neck. She shivered a little as he fisted her dark in his hands, and pulled her up on her toes as he crashed his lips down on hers. Her short nails dug into his chest as he kissed her ardently, and she responded on instinct alone, until he abruptly pulled back fixing her with a glare.

Her bottom lip quivered as she attempted to stand still, but her entire body seemed to be shaking. Everything that she was doing, disagreed so fiercely with who she was. Submissive, silent, and shaky; that wasn't Marlene McKinnon. She wasn't even putting up a fight she was just letting him dominate, letting him control her. Sirius watched the emotions flicker across her face through falsely glowering eyes. If she didn't give in, it will have all been for not. She wouldn't tell him a damn thing if she didn't give in.

"No," he bit out, as she started to take a step toward him. Her eyes flicked to his face and she fell back into her space chewing her lip. He masked a sigh of relief by praising her, "Good girl." He kissed her gently again before lifting her up.

Carefully, he draped her across his bed, the fiery passion of his kiss fading and he went back to teasing almost touches and barely there kisses. Sirius tilted her head back smoothing her hair out of her face as he lay down beside her, placing tiny kisses down the column of her throat. She raised a hand to touch him, but he caught it, raising it and its sibling above her head, nuzzling against her arm before murmuring, "Stay," in her ear. She did as instructed and he turned his attention to drawing shapeless figures on her skin until she lolled into a relaxed, even breathing cycle, her eyes falling closed.

He kissed her lips briefly, before placing one knee between her legs and hovering above her. He gently cupped her breasts, kneading the small firm mounds and she hummed again, rubbing her thigh against his leg. Taking a nipple into his mouth, he sucked heartily at it flicking his tongue across it as he drew it farther into his mouth. Marlene's hands fisted in the sheets and her quiet hum became more of a persistent whine for more as her legs moved of their own accord. He paid the other breast the same affections, slipping his hand between her legs. She whimpered, taking short shaking breaths as she forced herself to breathe. He rose up, brushing his lips across her ear, as he softly demanded, "Say please."

"Please," she choked out and he smirked against her skin. "Please," she said again and he kissed the side of her neck before giving her what she wanted.

She felt the desire to scream as her body tingled with bliss and ecstasy crashed over her in waves, but he fisted her hair in his hand, forcing her to arch her neck to its fullest extent, and growled, "No."

Biting her lip to remain silent, she let him do as he pleased; taking her places, she hadn't been before.

She lay under him, contented, stated, her hands still tied up in the sheet as he pulled out. She whimpered slightly at the loss and he kissed her forehead, murmuring, "Good girl."

Lying down beside her he picked up his wand from the beside table and muttered a cleaning charm, ridding them and his bedding of the sweet sweaty smell of their intimacy. He tugged a sheet over them, before propping his head up on his elbow and gazing down at her. "How long has it been since you slept, McKinnon?" It wasn't a question; it was a demand. Not even a subtle demand, like before. He had worked to gain her trust, her obedience and now, he expected an honest answer.

Her eyes fell closed as she whispered, "Three weeks. Three weeks since I've had at least two hours straight. Almost six for a full eight hours." Fuck, he mentally sighed, no wonder she's such a mess.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" His tone was the same, but if she would have opened her eyes she could have seen the concern marring his handsome face with ease.

"The baby," she choked out as two wet tears slipped down her cheeks. "I lost—" a sob broke through her words and he gently wiped away her tears in an act of true tenderness and affection. "I lost the baby," she whispered before lapsing into heartrending sobs. He pulled her to him, holding her closely, and rocking her slowly.

What baby? She was pregnant? No, she wasn't pregnant, but she had been. Shit, he didn't know what to do with this. "Hey, hey, shush," he hushed her, smoothing her hair.

"You're pregnant?" he asked as she clung to him.

"No, I killed him. The Bludger… and I killed my baby," she choked out between sobs, trembling in his arms.

Shaking his head fiercely he held her tighter. "No, Marley." God, what was he supposed to tell her? He never thought it could be something like this. "You didn't. It just happened. You couldn't help it."

She needed to be with someone who knew how to handle this. She needed to be with the father. Someone that shared the same bond. "The father?" he breathed, "who's the father."

"I don't know," she sobbed quietly.

"What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know? Were you sleeping with more than one person?" he asked, frowning.

Marlene ripped out of his arms. "I'm not a fucking whore. I just don't know," she cried trying to get away from him, but she couldn't seem to get off the bed. "I don't remember. I can't remember."

"You don't remember?" He grabbed her arm and pulled her back down onto the bed. "When did it happen then?" The moment the question left his mouth, it hit him.

Halloween.

She had been so off when she stumbled into the room. He had thought she was drunk. But Marlene didn't drink. Marlene never drank.

"D-did he…" he started to ask and she stopped struggling against him.

Tears ceased to fall from her eyes and her hands shook uncontrollably as she gazed at him. "I don't know. I just woke up and then I came back and I was pregnant. I don't remember what happened."

"Have you been to see Poppy?" he questioned softly.

"What do you suggest I tell her? I snuck out on Halloween, got so fucking plastered I blacked out, woke up pregnant. Oh, and by the way, I didn't realize I was pregnant until I was attacked by a fucking Bludger and miscarried?" she yelled, crying again. "Am I supposed to tell her that?"

"You don't drink, McKinnon," Sirius whispered, gently wiping away her tears.

"I smelled like whiskey," she cried faintly as he carefully wrapped his arms around her.

Something was wrong with the picture she painted and he doubted it was her fault.

He held her for what seemed like hours mulling over her almost cryptic explanation. When her sobs halted and her body seemed to have fallen limp in his arms he breathed a sigh of relief.

Sleep. Finally, sleep.

He was afraid to move in case she woke, but he didn't have a choice. He needed to speak with Remus. Moony always knew what to do.

The moment he laid her down on the pillows her eyes popped open and her breaths turn erratic. "Hey, shush, it's alright," he murmured softly, stroking her hair. "You can just sleep. It's okay to just sleep."

Her eyes flashed in fear at the thought and he kissed her forehead. "Moony has some Dreamless Sleep in his trunk. I'll get it for you, okay?"

"It doesn't work." Her voice was still crack with tears.

Swallowing hard he whispered, "Well, just take some so you can go back to sleep. I'll stay right here and wake you if you start to dream."

She didn't nod, but she didn't disagree either.

He made his way to Remus trunk pulling on his shirt and boxers on the way. After a few moments of shuffling around he found a bottle of the potion. He stopped by his wardrobe on his way back across the room and grabbed a pair of his pajamas.

"Here," he said softly, dropping the clothes beside her. "Let's get you in some pjs incase someone comes in." She sniffled and nodded, and he helped her into the much too large pajamas, buttoning the top when her shaking hands prevented her from managing the task on her own.

Pressing a goblet full of the deep purple potion in her shaking hand he kissed her head. "It's alright, I promise. I won't leave." When she still hesitated to drink the potion he brought his lips down to her neck. "Come on, love," he murmured huskily against her skin between light kisses. "It'll be okay. I'll take care of you. You've nothing to worry about." She tentatively brought the cup to her lips before choking down a sob and shoving it back into his hands.

"I can't," she muttered shakily, frantically trying to get away from him.

"Whoa, whoa, easy," he hushed her, placing his hands on her shoulders and gazing into her frightened eyes. "You're okay. You need to sleep, Marley. You have to sleep."

Her eyes flicked away from him and he said, softly, demandingly, "Marlene, drink this and go to sleep. Nothing is going to happen. I promise. You just have to sleep."

She sent him a hateful glare, but drank the potion anyway. As she tilted slightly her eyes falling closed he guided her down to the pillows. Shit, he didn't know what he was doing anymore.

--

"What the hell do you mean she miscarried? She wasn't pregnant!" Remus Lupin roared under his breath at his friend as not to wake the sleeping girl in the room fiercely running a hand through his hair.

Sirius paced past the window again. "I don't know, Remus. She was fucking raped, they wiped her mind, she was pregnant, and then…" his voice trailed off. "Holy shit, Avery did it on purpose. He sent the Bludger at her on purpose."

"What the fuck are you saying, Padfoot?"

"I am saying it was his kid. I am saying he found out and he sent that fucking Bludger at her on purpose." Anger rose up in him like a raging fire. "He fucking raped her, Moony. And then when she ended up pregnant he murdered her child."

Remus stopped. He stopped everything. He stopped pacing. He stopped breathing. He stopped thinking. Little Marley. Little not a care in the world Marley. Who the hell would do something like that?

"Shit," his voice cracked as he turned to gaze at her curled up into a tiny ball tucked away under Sirius' sheets. Tucked away under Sirius-who-didn't-even-like-her's sheets. "What are we supposed to do? What are we going to do?"

"We're going to kill the fucking bastard, that's what we are going to do," Sirius growled storming across the room in a fit of rage. He noticed a change in the girl's breathing and immediately exchanged his enraged expression for a soft, comforting one. He sat on the bed beside her as she started to tremble mumbling incoherent words of distress.

"Marlene?" he murmured softly, "Marley, love, wake up." Gently stroking her cheek he coaxed her from sleep.

The moment her eyes open, she latched onto him, clinging to him with every ounce of strength she had. Sirius' grey eyes flicked up to Remus pleadingly, as he carefully pulled her trembling body into his lap, stroking her hair.

"You're okay, shush, you're okay," he told her softly as she lapsed into tears burying her face in his neck.

Endnotes:

1) The title of this story is thieved (yes, thieved) from a song off of Hurt's Vol. 1 CD. The chapter titles are lines from the song.

2) Oh, I opened with a sex scene, how fun is that? (No, this is not simply a smut fic, there is a plot. One that I am quite fond of actually.)

3) This has only been roughly edited by me. You've been warned.

4) Reviews are good. I like reviews.