It's dark, I'm alone; I'm going to die.
It was a stupid thing to do. The stupidest thing I could've done in the situation. Oh yeah, there's a bunch of death eaters in there, lets jump in, wands blazing? No wonder none of them followed me.
I really don't know what persuaded me to do something that idiotic.
Of course the plan backfired- one of them dropped a support beam from the ceiling right on my head, so here I am, crushed, while they continue the battle outside and around me.
Great plan Tonks, great plan.
They all think I'm dead already.
I heard Kingsley telling them he had checked, there was nothing they could do for me. I guess the beam knocked me out- it's more than likely- and I didn't respond. So they'll leave me here until they're sure the death eaters aren't still here, or coming back. Standard procedure. It could take days.
It hurts. I can't move without some part of me ripping out in pain. I've probably broken several bones, and from the look of it, I'm bleeding pretty badly. I can see a pool of blood forming by my waist.
Crap.
Of course, lying here in the dark, alone and dying, it's given me a lot to think about. Things I should have done differently, people I could have saved, things I should have said. People I shouldn't have let walk away.
Remus.
He's going to blame himself, whether I die or not. Partly, I suppose, it is his fault. His rational influence was valuable, and I probably wouldn't have done what I did if he was still around to influence me. But, it was my decision to jump in like that. Not his. I don't think that's something he'll ever see though. That I can make up my own mind.
I think I'm going crazy. Everything is blurry, but I'm starting to hear and see things that can't be real. Dad is teaching me how to ride a broomstick, but I can't see the broom because everything is blurring together. Sirius is piggybacking me up and down the stairs, but I can hear him screaming in pain. And Remus is standing at my grave, and he's not even crying. He's reciting a poem, but I can't hear the words properly. Something about an elf who gets lost in the mountains when she's supposed to leave on a ship, and her lover jumps off the ship to go find her. A very Remus sounding poem.
If I die, don't let him recite that poem at my funeral, please. It's too depressing.
I can see a light above my head now. I'm blinking, it's so bright and I want to shut my eyes, and keep them shut forever. Like I'll die if I open them.
I can hear his voice, calling my name. Remus' face swims groggily in front of me. He's pale, and using the worst language I've ever heard out of his mouth. I smile. It hurts.
I know I must still be dreaming. There's blood all over his hands, and I'm thinking about Macbeth. His hands are on my face, but I can't feel anything except pain.
I want the pain to stop. If I die, will it? But if I die, so will the dreams. I don't want them to stop. They're the last bit of Remus I have to hold onto.
I close my eyes. I'm going to dream.
"Dora? Dora, can you hear me, please? It's going to be okay, I promise. I'm not leaving. Please, just wake up!"
His voice is in my dream. And I know I'm still alive.