Hello! I love this show and just thought I would write about what I thought could happen in season 4. Of course nothing I expect ever does happen in this show.

I tried to write them as close as I could to how they are in the series. I'd love any feedback on how to improve.

Shout out to Bon Iver and Florence and the Machine!

enjoy :)

CHAPTER 1

She suddenly sat up, breathing heavily.

Must breathe. Need to breathe. For some reason that was all she could think about just then. And then she remembered. Drowning, she was drowning. But then why was she alive?

Stefan and Damon were both looking over her with worried expressions.

'How are you feeling?' they both said simultaneously.

She clutched her head; she could feel a headache coming on.

'Headache,' she mumbled then looked at both of them, her eyebrows dipped in worry, confusion and panic. 'How am I alive? I was drowning, I clearly remember. Unless you somehow resuscitated me,' she looked at them for answers.

Damon looked like he had been crying. Stefan on the other hand looked slightly more in control but his face was still contorted in worry.

'Elena,' Stefan said softly. 'We didn't resuscitate you, you died.'

'What? Then how…? Unless… No, but I didn't have any vampire blood in my system.' Elena stuttered, trying to make sense of what had happened.

This time Damon answered 'Elena what you have to understand is, when you came in this morning, your condition was worse than you thought.'

'That's right,' Meredith had come in. 'you had cerebral hemorrhage; bleeding on the brain. You were very close to dying.'

Elena's eyes widened. 'You helped me didn't you?'

Meredith nodded 'I'm sorry. But if I didn't, you would have died right there and then. And I would've had two Salvatores to answer to.' She was examining Elena now, like the doctor she was.

'She's in transition,' Meredith pronounced after a few seconds.

'We noticed, thanks,' Damon snarked. He was upset, Elena could tell. Stefan was too but he wouldn't be as vocal as Damon was. He would silently fume and blame himself. But it wasn't his fault; it had been her decision this time on who was going to live. Which reminded her…

'Where's Matt?' she demanded.

'He's alive, but he barely made it,' Meredith said and Elena sighed in relief but her relief only lasted a few seconds when suddenly the headache became like a full on migraine and she blacked out.

She knew this night. It was right after the bonfire, right before the car crash which killed her parents. She was walking down the same road but she didn't remember a man suddenly appearing in front of her. And even weirder was the fact that she recognized this man. It was Damon.

'Katherine?' he said, his voice hopeful and sad at the same time.

'Um.. No, I'm Elena.'

'Oh, you just... you just look... I'm sorry. It's yo justu really remind me of someone. I'm Damon,' he stepped forward a few feet, the desperation gone from his voice now. He flashed a dashing smile and Elena's heart melted. He sure knew how to charm a girl.

'Not to be rude or anything Damon but it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere.'

'You're one to talk, you're out here all by yourself.'

'It's Mystic Falls,' she shrugged. 'Nothing bad ever happens here.' How ironic.

Damon raised his eyebrows and Elena couldn't help but sigh and hold up her phone 'I had a fight with my friend.'

'About what? May I ask,' he raised his hands to show he meant no harm.

She contemplated for a second about telling this random, flirty, handsome stranger what was bugging her and eventually decided she would, since he was a stranger and she was likely to never hear from him again. Especially because he seemed from out of town.

'Life, future; he's got it all mapped out.'

'And you don't want it?'

'I don't know what I want,' she admitted.

'Well that's not true, you want what everybody wants,' he stepped even closer.

'What, a mysterious stranger who has all the answers?' that made him smile again and she liked it.

'Let's just say I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things.'

'So Damon, tell me. What is it that I want?'

'You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, adventure and even a little bit of danger.'

She was stunned for a moment. Captivated not only by his words but his beautiful crystal blue eyes. She didn't know if he was right or not at that time but what she did know was that at least some part of it was right. She did want a love that consumed her, that made her feel alive, physically, mentally, in every way she could think of.

'So what do you want?' she asked, trying to distract herself from the effect he was having on her.

She heard car tires and she turned around to see who it was and recognized the car. 'Those are my parents.'

She turned towards Damon again to find him standing much, much too close. He was staring into her eyes and she couldn't look away.

'I want you to get everything that you're looking for, but right now I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. Good night Elena.' And just like that Damon was gone and she would have no memory of ever meeting him until that day at the Salvatore mansion.

If we had met first… her words from just a few hours ago. And they had met first. This was all just too confusing but she didn't have time to dwell on it when suddenly the scenery changed and she was standing in her bedroom, getting ready to go to sleep after a tiring day fighting Elijah.

She looked up and Damon was standing there checking out her night clothes. 'Cute pj's.'

'I'm tired Damon,' she said and made a move to get into bed but Damon held up his hand and stopped her. He was holding her vervain necklace.

'I brought you this.'

'I thought that was gone. Thank you,' she said and held out her hand to take it from him but he pulled it back.

'Please give it back,' she said, afraid for a second of what he was going to say.

'I just have to say something,' he stepped closer and she knew where this was headed.

'Why do you have to say it with my necklace?'

'Well...Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life.'

'Domon don't go there-'

'I just need to say it once, you just need to hear it' he was so close to her now. Looking at her so gently. It wasn't that she didn't want him to say anything, it was just that right now, when she was so tired and vulnerable, she didn't think she'd be able to say no. Especially if he was looking at her like that.

'I love you Elena. And it's because I love you I can't be selfish with you... and why you can't know this,' she didn't know how to reply to that. She was so very confused, but she was too stunned to say anything anyways. She had thought maybe he would tell her he liked her a great deal. Maybe even kiss her but she had not expected this. But she was glad he said it, it sent butterflies fluttering around her stomach. She wanted to hold him close and tell him everything was okay, he'd been hurt so much but she'd make it better.

'I don't deserve you, but my brother does.'

She wanted to hold him close and tell him everything was okay, he'd been hurt so much but she'd make it better.

Only she didn't get a chance to reply or even let one tear slip because he kissed her gently on her forehead and said 'God, I wish you didn't have to forget this.' He paused for a moment taking her in. 'But you do,' and a tear rolled down.

And she was alone again in her bedroom, wondering how her necklace had gotten back to her. She would ask Stefan later…

Her eyes shot open and the migraine was gone, only to be replaced with emotional pain. She instinctively looked up at Damon and through his worried and sad expression figured out he knew what had just happened. What she had remembered again. She had made her choice though and she knew how much it was hurting him. She was stupid and selfish. Yes, that was it. She should have just let them both go. That way neither one of her Salvatores would be hurt.

She suddenly smelled something. It smelled good. So, so good. Like chocolate and honey and all her favourite spices combined. It was indescribable. Her eyes shot up to the source of the smell which just so happened to be a nurse rushing to bring some equipment to a doctor.

Damon and Stefan knew what was about to happen before it happened and immediately held either one of her arms firmly.

'On no you don't,' Damon said gripping her left arm tightly.

She was furious. Why would they hold her back from something that smelled so sweet it could only be good for her? She suddenly let out a growl. Her gums were aching; her new sharper teeth were aching to bite into the soft flesh of that neck and let the sweet liquid flow from it. Her mind didn't register exactly what she was thinking of doing- the fact that she was thinking of sucking all the blood out of the unsuspecting nurse until she lay there sucked dry. All she could think of was the hunger that coursed through her veins and that the only thing that would ease the pain was the red intoxicating liquid.

But the two vampires held her back and a few seconds later the nurse was out of sight and soon the smell was gone too. Elena relaxed as Meredith rushed to clear the hall so that no one would get hurt.

She suddenly realized exactly what she was thinking of doing. What she almost did. What she had despised Damon for doing. And most recently Stefan.

'Elena you have to think this through, where there's no one else to distract you,' Stefan said and helped her up. She knew what he was saying, go somewhere where she couldn't rip out anyone's throat.

They made their way to the car, Damon leading the way while Stefan stayed by Elena, watching her. Trying to read her expression.

She was panicked and nervous, to say the least.

It was Damon's car that was parked outside and he opened the car door for her then sat down in the driver's seat himself.

'I'll join you in a bit,' Stefan frowned. 'I've just got some things to deal with. Do you want anyone else to know?'

Elena nodded 'tell Caroline and Bonnie. Is Jeremy at home?'

'Yeah, he wanted to come to the hospital but we told him you were going back home. See you there,' Stefan kissed the top of her head and jogged back into the hospital, leaving Elena and Damon to awkwardly sort out their stuff in the car ride home.

Boy was this going to be a long ride home, Elena thought.