Essence
Light's life was colorful and bright. He was blinded by the sheer brilliance of love; before L his life was a endless void, he was a shell. Sure, he didn't have suicidal thoughts or anything, but it was almost like he was unresponsive. Of course, he answered when he was asked a question, stayed at the top of his class, and drowned his life his study, but he didn't laugh, cry, smile or anything to show he had emotions.
Now that L was in his life, he was finally able to feel. It felt new to him, like a heavy stone was lifted from his chest. The walls he made around his heart, hiding it from the rest of the world was slowly coming down and flooding, by the river named L.
Sometimes Light wondered if L felt this way too. Surely it can't be one-sided, could it? Light hoped with every fiber of his being, that L did. L was also an epitome of monotone, just like Light. Did anything change in the detective's heart? Did he feel suffocated like Light was by the feelings, some he couldn't put a name on? Light thought about this a lot. Would L leave him if he found out that he was or wasn't Kira?
When they got together, L took off the handcuffs, but was like a shadow, watching Light's every move, except at school. He got a spy for that. Light didn't mind, but sometimes he would wish that the detective would just shut up and go to sleep. And it was always the same answer, "But what if Light-kun kills and innocent life in his sleep?", earning a pillow smack against his chest. L would laugh a little, with barely any emotion leaking through. "The chances of you being Kira has upped to three point five percent for trying to cause harm to me."
Light would groan, mumble something and turned away from the annoying, insomniac detective.
"4.5 percent for ignoring me." L would murmur, put pull Light in anyway, enveloping Light into the warmth and aroma of himself. The scent was very sweet, which was no surprise considering the amount of sugar L consumed in a single day would put Willy Wonka to shame.
"Ruv you" Light mumbled contently against L's chest. Oblivious to the guilty look on L's face, Light fell into the depths of sleep, almost as deep as the detective's black, glassy orbs.
L sat on his chair, the usual way with his knees to his chest, nibbling his thumb thoughtfully. He knew for a fact that he didn't love Light, but he didn't have the heart to tell him that. The only reason he did even agree to be his partner, he was still uncomfortable saying 'boyfriend', was to find more information about Kira. He didn't expect to be actually loved by the person who was the number one Kira suspect, even though the percentage was only a mere 4.5 percent. He did like him, of course. He was his first friend, best friend even. But he did feel love for Misa, at least that's what he tells himself. He knew it was wrong leading on Light like this, but it was the only way to get information on the Kira case, and be happy with his Misa.
Light would surely be broken, and not give any details for L to help the Kira case. The detective sighed in frustration, never in his entire life as the world's three greatest detectives did he feel this way. A strange mix of frustration, insecurity and dilemmatic. He tugged on his hair and took out his phone. He dialed Misa's number, needing to release some steam. He had to make sure Light would never know, he glanced at the clock in front of him, it only read two fifteen. Light should still be in school until at least three thirty.
He wriggled his toes impatiently. Misa's cheery "Hello?" yelled into his ear. Of course, he didn't like her loudness very much, but over looked that. He could give other reasons why he loved Misa though. Like... Like... L couldn't think of a reason, but reminded himself love is blind.
"Hi Misa. You want to come over?" He asked as silky as he could.
"Misa-Misa would love to see her lovebug!" She squealed, oblivious to the fact that L's grimace was so pulled up, that it was comical.
"Okay Misa, see you in," He glanced at the clock again, "ten minutes, maybe?" he suggested, but they both knew it was a demand.
"O-kay! Misa- Misa will be there then! Bye!" Misa's on the verge of annoying voice rang, he quickly returned the goodbye, and just before he hung up he heard a very annoying, "KYAA!" noise.
He sighed for what seemed like the millionth time since this morning and rubbed his eyes tiredly. 'This is good for me.' He chanted in his head, but the buzzing at the back of his head reminded himself of that this was most definitely was committing adultery, and was wrong. Even if he was doing it for the best, it doesn't mean it was right. Not one hundred percent correct anyways.
He quickly read over the recent reports, trying to find a way, any way for him to forget the nagging buzz.
The doorbell rang signaling Misa's arrival.
L got up and almost groaned. He was so stiff. He slouched back into his usual walking position and stalked over to the door, opening it to reveal a very perky Misa. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet, and immediately got into L's face before L even had time to blink. Not that the owl-eyed detective blinked much.
"Hey Love-y! Misa-Misa missed you!" She squawked and hugged the detective, who was used to solitude, into a vice grip hug, that rivaled the hugs from a drunk Matsuda's.
The detective smiled a strained smile, "I missed you to Misa. How are you?" he asked politely, even though he knew he really didn't care that much.
"Great now that you're hear." Misa purred the cheesy line that she obviously got when google-ing 'how to get someone to bed' and L felt like throwing up a little. He mentally berated himself, he loved her L reminded himself.
He merely plastered his smile, and muffed Misa's hair a bit. "I love you." L said quietly, trying to reassure Misa, but really was trying to convince himself of that.
Misa smiled a little, then it disappeared, "Then why are you pretending to be a fagot?" She growled, and L took three deep calming breaths. Instead of slapping the girl upside the head, he sighed wearily.
"Misa-chan. We've gone over this many times." L paused to give a pitiful look to Misa, "You know I love you and only you. The only reason I even want to be within two miles of Light is because I need information for the Kira case. Once I get enough evidence, we'll get him into jail, or killed. But I'd understand if you can't wait that long... If you want to move on to someone better, giving you the right amount of attention." L sniffed sadly, mentally snickering at the way Misa swooned at his almost-but-not-quite obvious lie.
He was tackled suddenly with Misa's lips at his neck. Somehow their close ended up on the floor and they tumbled into L's and Light's shared bedroom. "Misa-Misa will always love her L." She whispered breathlessly, and L repeated the words, forcing himself.
Light sighed quietly as he finally reached the last question of his exam. It was seven parts, thirty questions or so in each part, and that was only for the science exams, which was his last test. The question was fairly easy:
During the S phase of the cell cycle . . .
A. Cells twist themselves into an S–like shape in preparation for cell division
B. Cells start the process of cell division
C. Cells take a siesta from the hard work of cell division and are temporarily sedentary
D. DNA is replicated, or synthesized, in preparation for cell division*
Expect... The test booklet was in German. So many students were taking the test at the time, that by the time they got to him, they ran out of Japanese and English booklets. So he received the German edition, which the teacher watching him take it, who hated being shown up by Light all the time, smirked at. He circled the answer, and closed the impossibly think booklet. He smiled as he looked around, all his other peers were still about twenty pages into the test, when he was finished. He quickly read over it, making sure each answer was correct before pulling together his things and handing the Professor the answer sheet and the booklet with a satisfied smirk as the mentor stared in awe at his student.
Light smiled politely at him, rearranged his book-bag's strap on his shoulder and left.
As he got in the car, he thought about L. That was pretty much the only thing that he ever thought about now. He smiled a lovesick smile, running his fingers through his naturally soft hair. He almost pinched himself, he was acting like a love-struck schoolgirl!
But it wasn't his fault L had such beautiful eyes, with the most adorable panda-like bags under his eyes... Or the fact that the way he sits reminds him of an adorable little kid, and his smile was enough to die for... Or that his love of sweets was so cute... And his long, unruly hair was so shiny and addicting to run your fingers through... And his oh-so kissable lips...
Light sighed dreamily and slapped himself on the cheek. Hard. Rubbing it he turned the last turn to where his love was.
L was the only one he ever loved, besides his family. The fair headed boy cherished these memories that the two shared, even if it was as little as one pouring the other some life-saving coffee.
He smiled prettily and opened the door to L's apartment. Huh. It was unlocked. It was never unlocked! He scrunched his eyes confusedly but continued in anyways. He slammed
"Ryuzaki! I'm home!" Light called, slamming the door behind him. L slowly moved toward the clock, it was only two fifty, why was he home? He tried thinking of something to say, but all he could think of is SHIT.
He tried rushing Misa to the bathroom to hide, but she tripped over one of the legs on L's chair, bringing L down with her.
Light opened the door as soon as L muttered a 'oomf'. His honey-brown eyes suddenly delated, all signs of happiness fading away from them. Then the detective realized that he was home early because it was the first trimester exams today, so he was home early. The college student's eyes slid from Misa, to L, back to Misa, then took a step back in disgust.
"What the hell, fag!" Misa growled, and Light flinched back a little. He was never referred to that way in his entire life. Tears sprung forth from his eyes, daring to leak out. He brought a hand to his forehead, wondering if he had a fever, because he felt sick. And disgusted.
There was a slight pause in the air, it was awkward, because both L and Misa were waiting for Light's reaction. "W-Why?" He finally croaked, turning his glassy eyes to L.
The said detective opened his mouth to say something, and Light expected to hear a speech about how he loves him, and wants him back or something along those lines, but all he heard was, "Because I wanted to."
A/N: This sucks. I know, I know.
*- If anyone knows the answer, you are one smart cookie.
:) No googling.
Leave a review, and I will update A.S.A.P.