My second Stephanie Plum story. This happens after Hard Eight

I own nothing.

"My life can't do relationships."

I, Stephanie Plum, remember when Ranger, Ricardo Carols Manoso, told me that in those exact words….. okay not exactly those words but I was pretty damn upset over that. That was two months ago, three months ago I broke up with my boyfriend, Joe Morelli. I thought I loved him but it wasn't enough. A month later, I paid my debt to Ranger but he sent me packing to Morelli but I didn't go back.

This is were I'm now, hanging over my toilet for the fifth time this week. I have to go to work and get some skips but I've been so weak. Lula, call Lula. She'll pick me up and help me. Dial, 555-2536.

"Helloooooooo!" I heard Lula yell into her phone over the rap music from her car.

"Lula, come pick me up." I told her.

"Sure, I'll be there in ten minutes. Be ready, girly." She hung up and I dragged myself out of the bathroom without looking in the mirror. I could just feel that I looked awful, horribly, fugly. I dragged my fat ass downstairs and waited for Lula. She pulled up with her rap music causing a small earthquake to my building. When she saw me she turned her music off.

"Damn, girl, your look like hell." Lula told me. All I did was groan at her. "Do you want to go back?" I shook my head no and took a short nap but when I woke up, the dry toast that I had early was coming back up real fast. I notice a shiny black truck as I ran out of the car towards the small bathroom at Vinnie's office building.

I hurled up everything in my stomach which wasn't much. I just collapsed against the toilet and all I saw was black.

Lula's POV

"Hey, Lula, what's wrong with Stephanie?" Connie asked me as I walked in after Stephanie.

"I don't know, girl, I mean I picked her up and she looked S-H-I-T!" I told Connie worried about my girl, Stephanie. CRASH. I ran to the bathroom were Stephanie was. I opened the door to see her passed out. "Connie, call 911! QUICK! Stephanie? Wake up, girly." I was worried about my girl. Ranger walked into the bathroom and picked up Stephanie and brought her to the couch. The EMT's arrived and quickly took Stephanie away. Ranger wanted to go with her but I told him Hell no, her girl was going with her.

Stephanie's POV

I woke up and felt better then I had in days. I slowly cracked my eyes open. I saw my mother next to me praying. Daddy was watching TV but he was holding my hand. Dad must notice I was awake and called for the doctor.

"Miss. Plum, you are not in any danger as long you stay hydrated. Eat dry toast, lots of water and Gatorade." He kept going on and on but didn't tell what was wrong with me.

"Okay but what is wrong with me?" I asked confused. I notice that Ranger walked into the room.

"You don't know?" He asked also confused. Does it look like I know? "You're eight weeks pregnant." My eyes widen in shocked and my mother let out a cry of shock. My father hand tighten around mine but didn't say anything but this is what surprised everyone. Ranger fainted. A dead faint. He crashed to the ground like a tree after getting cut down.

"Now you and Joe will get married!" My mother said happily not knowing the father wasn't Joe.

"Mom." I croaked out. "The father isn't Joe, its Ranger." Then I fainted. I woke up to see Ranger staring down at my face. I opened my mouth to say something but I snapped it close to run to the bathroom. I slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it. I knew he was going to get in anyway but I a girl can try. I dry heaved for a minute when I felt a hand on my neck. Ranger.

"Babe." Was all he was able to say before I started dry heaving again. I finally stopped and looked up at him scared of what's going to happen next.

And I whispered, "I'm sorry." I was so weak and so tired I barely notice Ranger picking me up and carrying me to the bed.

"Everything will be fine. We'll work everything out." He whispered to me. I hope it will be.

Two Days Later

Ranger was signing me out and he taking me to his place. The BATCAVE. Still, I barely know anything about Ranger. I know his name, that he has a daughter, he works for Vinnie, and he's the owner of Rangman. That is it. My mother was at the church praying for my soul, grandma was telling me that I was lucky to have a man with such a great package. Dad was happy for me. I haven't heard from Morelli, Thank God. Lula and Connie are mad that I didn't tell them about my night in heaven.

"Ready, Babe?" He asked me. I nodded and slowly got up. He came over and put his arm around my waist. We went to his Porsche and he drove slowly to an office building in Haywood. I didn't really look at where I was. I was more focus on not puking in his car. He pulled over and I jumped out and put my head between my legs. I saw Tank come out. Gosh, he scared me but Lula thought he was one fine piece of meat.

"Breathe, Babe, Breathe." I was about to cry. I was sick of hurling, I just wanted to feel normal. Tears started to slip down my face and my lip quiver and before I could get the first sob out I was against Ranger's rock solid chest. That made me feel a little better but still. He lead me to the elevator and we rode up to the top floor. Finally, the batcave but I was too busy looking for a bathroom to look actually see everything. DAMNIT! I laid down next to the toilet sobbing. I'm sick of throwing up. I mean a girl can only throw up so many times before she wants to kill herself.

"Its okay, Babe." Ranger said rubbing my back. After a minute he picked me up and laid me down in a king sized oak bed. I kept crying and he crawled in next to me to hold me.

"Why….can't….it …. Be…..easy….." I sobbed into his black T-shirt that melted into his body. I stopped crying to realize I'm going to be fat soon. I started sobbing again.

"Babe, you going to make yourself sick if you keep crying." Ranger told me but I'm going to be fat!

"I CAN'T!" I wailed. "I'm going to be fat." I stopped crying long enough to tell him, "A big fat whale and you won't want me and you'll cheat on me like every other of my boyfriends." I started to cry again and I soon all I saw black. Sleep.

A few hours later

I woke up a few hours later to see several different women staring at me. All different ages. All have the skin of Mocha Latte. I scrambled up the bed and stared at them. They stared back at me. My eyes darted back and forth between the women when Ranger busted into the room. Ranger started speaking rapid Spanish. The eldest woman spoke rapid Spanish back at him. Ranger ushered all three women out. I counted as they filled out.

"Sorry, Tank told my mom. My mom and sisters came here right away." Ranger said to me. I was still staring at the spot were all the women had been.

This is going to be a long Pregnancy.

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