Author: SilverSnitch69

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Neither do I, nor my partner in crime/beta, own Harry Potter or any related characters. We just use them in our twisted little stories for our, and soon to be your, sick pleasure.

Warning: This is slash, so I hope you know what that means, if not, then I don't know what to tell you. Post-Hogwarts, and the relationship has been established. Implied m-preg, though we don't go into the details.

Howdy Ya'll!

By: SilverSnitch69

"Christian! Brian! Come over here! We have to be seated first."

"But I want to sit by the window!"

"Keep your voice down."

"Nah huh, I want to sit over there."

"No! By the window."

"Christian! Brian! Be quiet. Potter, tell your children to be silent."

Sigh "Chris, Brian, listen to your father."

"'K" "'K"

Sigh "Why did I agree to come here again?"

"Because… you once told me how great it would be if all of us went out to eat together like, and I quote, one big happy family, end quote."

"I should of bitten my tongue."

"Papa? Doesn't that hurt?"

"Not as much as being here, sweetheart."

"Dray, give it a chance, will you? Besides, I've read some great reviews on this place and it doesn't look that bad."

"Yeah, the tasteless wall paper and the bull-horn theme doesn't look half bad once you get use to it."

"Dray…"

"Are they real, daddy?"

"Top of the morning to you! Now, how many in your group?"

"Well, let me see, since we're the only ones standing here, I'll say four."

"Draco, be nice."

"Oki-dok! Please follow me, you fine looking cowboys."

"She is too damn perky for this ungodly hour."

"Dray, it's only ten in the morning."

"Exactly my point, I mean…Christian! Get over here before I ground you until your old enough to know what boys like to do with girls in their free time!"

"Play twister?"

"Yes, baby, play twister."

"But I want to touch the horns."

"For the last time, you can't. Besides, you don't know what type of diseases they have. It's not like they look even remotely sanitary to begin with."

"Draco, you're scaring the children."

"It's not like you're doing anything to stop your child from running rampant. And maybe this way they'll be less incline to go and touch one. "

"Hey! He is yours as much as mine. Besides, I'm holding Brian. You're just too lazy to carry him."

"He's seven! He could walk."

"Here we are! Now, you just settle down and I'll leave you here with the menus. I'll be right back in a few to take your orders."

"In a few what?"

"God, I need coffee."

Giggle " Papa, you always drink that juky stuff."

"Yes, well, that juky stuff, as you put it, is what keeps me going."

"Chris, please sit down before your father pops a vein. Wait until he's had his coffee."

"Potter! Don't encourage him. Now Christian, Sit. Down. Or Merlin help me if you don't…"

"I want ice cream!"

"Brian, it's breakfast time. You can't have ice cream yet."

"I want a cheese burger!"

"That's too bloody American."

"Draco, don't curse in front of the children."

"Bloody Americans!"

"See what you did, Draco? Now they're starting to sound like you."

"You make it sound like that's a bad thing."

"They're only four."

"Hey! I'm bloody seven-years-old."

"Chris, stop cursing or I wont let you have ice cream for dessert."

"Sorry."

"That's ok, just don't do it again."

Giggle "Bloody."

"Brian, you too."

"Sorry, daddy."

"The omelets look good. Potter, what are you having?"

"Papa, why do you call Daddy 'Potter'?"

"Because your father keeps forgetting he's married."

"No, I don't. That's what the ring is for. And it's a habit to keep calling you Potter."

"Yeah, even if we share the same last name."

"Papa, can I have pancakes?"

"How many do you want?"

"This many."

"Brian, I don't think you can eat ten pancakes. Uncle Weasel, maybe, but not you."

Giggle. "You called Uncle Ron 'Weasel'"

"Chris, don't say that. Draco, you are really giving our children bad habits."

"What? It just came out."

"Uh huh. Sure, whatever you say, dear."

"Howdy ya'll! My name is Peg, and I'll be your server today. Now, how can I be a service to you?"

"How about toning it down on the perky-ness."

"Draco…"

"Oh my god, how cute! I really love your accent. Where are ya'll from anyways?"

"Potter, please tell me she is kidding me."

"Papa's house!" "Wiltshire!"

"Oh! Is that in Ireland or something?"

Thud.

Giggle.

"Umm…is he going to be alright there?"

Sigh. "Yes, he just needs his coffee. Black. No sugar."

"Oki-dok. Coffee. No sugar. Anything to eat for the young man?"

"How about a large portion of rat poison? Mixed with your strongest liquor would be nice."

"Draco, please."

Giggle

"Oh, my! I do love your sense of humor. Now! What can I really get you?"

"Ok, how about your…" "He'll have an omelet with extra peppers, sausage and toast. Wheat if you have any."

"Yes, we do. Now, how about you, stranger?"

"I'll have the same but without the extra peppers. Instead I want extra cheese, bacon instead of sausage and white bread for my toast."

"Do you always order the same thing when you go out?"

"No, sometimes he actually lets me order my own food."

Laugh.

"Oh my goodness, you are a funny little critter, aren't you?"

"I do try."

Giggle. "Ok, how about for the youngens?"

"I want this many pancakes, peas."

"Brian, we agreed that you can't eat that many."

"Yes, I can!"

"No, you can't. Only Uncle Weasel, remember? And it's not 'peas' it's 'please' with an L. "

"Ok, I'll have this many."

"He'll have two with strawberry topping."

"I like strawbewies."

Sigh "When we get home, I'm going to teach you how to speak properly. I wont allow my son to walk around speaking horribly like some commoner."

"Draco, he's only four."

"So? At his age, I was able to both speak and fence properly."

"Yeah, but he doesn't have a Death Eater father who was bent on making his own son into his mirror image, now does he?"

"Potter, what the hell does…" "So, what will the other little critter be havin' ?"

"Umm… the same but with…"

"No! I want a cheese burger!"

"Chris, you can't eat a whole cheese burger. You always leave almost half of it un-touched."

"No I don't!"

"Christian, stop arguing with your father. He'll have apple as a topping instead."

"And side orders of sausages with scramble eggs, please."

"Alright, so that'll be two omelets; extra peppers for blondie and extra cheese, for you sugar; sausages for grumpy here and bacon for you; wheat for him and white for you while two orders of flapjacks for the critters here. One strawberry and one apple. With a side order of sausages and scramble eggs. Am I correct on your orders, my fine gents?"

"Yes."

"Okay-dok, now I'll just take this here paper to Bob in the back and bring you your coffee. Would the little youngsters like anything to drink?"

"Milk, please if you would."

"I want chocolate in mine, please."

"Me too!"

"How adorable! I'll make sure to put extra chocolate sauce in both your glasses."

"I'll appreciate if you don't. I don't want my children's teeth to start rotting at such a young age."

"I'll see what I can do, sir."

"Finally! I thought she would never leave."

"She isn't that bad, you know."

"Please! She asked where we came from! And don't me get started on her name."

"Well, that was kinda odd. You'd think she'd at least know which country she was working in."

"Exactly! Because come on! How dense can you be? She is surrounded by British people daily. She is probably a British herself!"

"Maybe she was trying to keep in character, you know? To go with the whole theme of the place?"

"Well they got the name right, that's for sure. Who in their right mind would name their child Peg? Were they looking at a person with a wooden leg and just suddenly decided, Hey! I think I'll name my child Peg!"

"Draco, would you keep it down, the lady from across is starting to give us weird looks."

"So? Like I really give a hoot. She could stare all she wants; you know I look good."

Sigh. "Even after all these years, you are still full of yourself."

"Why is Papa full? He hasn't eat yet."

"It's 'eaten', baby. And don't listen to your daddy, he doesn't know what he is talking about."

"Here we are! Two glasses of chocolate milk, a strong cup of coffee, and Oh, my! I didn't get you anything, sugar. What would you'll be havin'"

"A glass of orange juice would be great, thanks."

"Right, I'll be right back with your juice, cutie."

"Potter, if she pinches your cheek one more time I'll…"

Giggle "Papa is jealous."

"Yeah, you're jealous because that lady is paying more attention to Daddy than she is to you."

"Don't be ridiculous. Me? Jealous? What do I have to be jealous about, especially from a woman named Peg?"

"Draco, I can't help it if she does that. It's not like I can just simply tell her to back off."

"Fine, if you wont then I will."

"Draco, you wouldn't?"

"Scared, Potter?"

"Maybe."

"Here you are! Sorry about that, green eyes… umm… Oh! And here are the little critters flapjacks. I'll be back with your omelets."

"Draco, did you really have to glare at the poor woman? She is only doing her job."

"What? You said you didn't want me to tell her, so I didn't. And since when is pinching the patrons' cheeks part of the job description? "

"Yeah, but glaring? You scared her half to death. I almost thought she would drop the plate on my head."

"You wouldn't of even felt it anyways."

Giggle "Daddy has a hard head."

"Umm… here you are, sirs. Enjoy your meal…umm… if you need anything, just hollar. Bye!"

"Funny, she doesn't have that annoying accent anymore."

"I wonder why?"

"What? Don't look at me. I didn't do anything."

"Just eat your eggs, Draco."

"Harry, you know I'm not that flexible."

Choke. Cough.

"Are you ok, Daddy?"

"I'm fine, Chris. Eat your pancakes."

Giggle

"What are you laughing at, Brian?"

"At that man over there. He funny."

"Brian, don't point."

"Oh my god."

Giggle

"Draco, don't stare it's rude."

"But, Harry, look. You can't just sit there and not have a peak."

"Draco, for the love of… just don't make it so obvious. He might notice."

Giggle

"How can that man just sit there like that?"

"Draco! Please, as my husband, just stop staring and eat your food."

"But, Harry, he is so…"

"Ugly."

"Chris, not so loud! And for the love of Merlin, Draco stop staring."

"But, Harry, I can't help it. It's not like you can help but ogle at him. He is just so…"

"Chris, don't you dare say anything."

"What! I wasn't!"

"Sure you weren't. I know you."

"I wasn't! I was going to say if you would pass me a bloody napkin."

"Christian! What did your father say about cursing?"

"Oh god."

Chuckle "You couldn't help it, could you Potter? The temptation was too great for you."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

Snort "I've seen worse."

"Oh, yeah, where?"

"You're friends with Weasel and you're asking me where?"

Giggle. Giggle

"Did you just call Ron ugly?"

"Pass me the pepper, dear."

The End

A/N: I really do hope you enjoyed reading this little story. It came to me on the way back home after my father took me out to eat breakfast. The two little boys were, in fact, real people, though I did change their names. They had come in with their mother and grandmother and had been seated across from us. One of the boys, the older one coincidently, coulnd't sit still, so in my story, I based little Chris and Brian on the both these two boys. The lady from across the table that was giving Harry and Draco weird looks in the story, is actually based on me because I, too, was giving the little kids looks because of their loud and annoying behaviour. I want to thank my beta, Gryffindorgrl86 (Stupy), for looking over the story.

R&R