Title: 9 Months because we're so lazy and uncreative
Author: bl4ckm4lice & pseudo-shigure
Pairing: ZoSan
Warning: Male Pregnancy. Don't like don't read
Summary: "Then why is he keep vomiting like a pregnant woman?" pushed Zoro
Disclaimer: Not ours
A/N: Even after doing a little research we still know nothing about pregnancy, so if there's any mistake in this fic, just ignore it. And we actually wanted to put lotsa stuff in this fic but we just too lazy to think anymore than this so… Enjoy!!
1st month
Zoro wiped his forehead as he was walking down to the galley. He just finished his daily training and intended to get a booze or two. He prepared himself to face Sanji's protective attitude, but when he opened the door, he saw that Sanji wasn't there.
Strange, it's morning already and nearly the time for the breakfast. Zoro noticed the half-cooked food on the kitchen counters, signing that Sanji did cook, but leaving the food halfway. Strange.
He was disturbed by that fact and forgot his initial intention. He looked around once more to make sure Sanji wasn't in, then walked back outside to search for the blonde man.
Nearing the bathroom, he heard voices from inside. Someone... didn't sound healthy. He opened the door and saw Sanji retching on the sink. "What the... oi, cook, what happened to you?"
Sanji merely mumbled something that sounded like 'fuck off', apparently he was too spent to actually shout at Zoro like usual.
"Oi, cook. What are you doing? Are you having a sea sick or sumtin?" Zoro teased. Of all the crew of Going Merry it's highly unlikely that the blonde was the one who got the sea sick. He practically lived by the sea anyway.
Sanji was trying his hardest to ignore the idiot swordsman and just letting his nausea subside. He wiped his mouth with a towel before turning around and said to Zoro, "I'm not having a sea-sick, it's a marimo-sick. You know, having to puke whenever a marimo haired man was around."
Ah, the usual snarky comment. That meant Sanji's okay. "Che, stupid love-coo—." before Zoro could finish his sentence, Sanji was already back to the toilet and throwing up once again. Okay, that was not good. "You sure you're okay?" the green haired got into the bathroom and stood beside the sick blonde, squeezing his neck in order to help him discharge his gut.
Sanji slapped his hand away as he retched, "Shut up. I've told you that I'll be better if you're not around."
"I'm just trying to help," Zoro's insistent hands backed to support Sanji. "I'll call Chopper."
"No," Sanji glared, "Something this small shouldn't get a doctor's attention. Besides, I don't get sick. It's just a strange thing in a strange morning that will pass along with the pass of your stinky sweats. Go away and take a bath."
Zoro ignored the harsh remark. He even didn't take the chance to mock the blonde as the bathroom was right where he and Sanji were. He was too concerned over Sanji's health. "I'll get Chopper." He turned around, but Sanji gripped his arm.
"DON'T." Sanji glared again with his glazed eyes, "I'm not sick. Besides, Chopper has his hands full already due to a certain crew that couldn't get himself away from injuries," Sanji glanced lazily at Zoro."
2nd month
Zoro had Sanji trapped between his body and the kitchen counter. He had the blonde's wrist held firmly and his groin was grinding seductively against the blonde's. He just loved to see the flush that creeping into the fair skin of the blonde's cheek. And the way he, pretended, tried to get away from him.
"Let me go!" the blonde snapped. Squirming, but not strong enough to get away from the swordsman.
"You know you wouldn't like it if I let you go," Zoro teased.
"Seriously, Zoro! You have to let me go!" yelled the blonde. But, Zoro was persistent and still trapping Sanji. "Marimo, I want to pu—" and there he went, throwing up with all his might into Zoro.
The swordsman stared with disgust at Sanji's breakfast on his shirt, couldn't believe what just happened, "Oh great, cook," muttered the green haired.
"I've told you to—." the blonde couldn't finish his sentence since his stomach was already kicking him and making him vomit once again into the kitchen sink this time.
Zoro took off his now dirty shirt and muttered something like 'there goes my last clean shirt', but other than that he just waited patiently until the blonde finished.
When he was done, Sanji shivered slightly and held his stomach with one arm. He was groaning and looking awful. It had been a while since Zoro noticed Sanji's vomiting habit anyway. He didn't understand why the stupid love-cook still hadn't gone to Chopper for medicine or something.
"Tsk! Why don't you just see Chopper?" he asked, irritated by Sanji's thick-headedness. But the blonde just waved his hand as if saying that it was just a small thing, making Zoro clicked his tongue once again. "Okay, that's it. We go to see Chopper, now." Zoro, impatiently lifted Sanji and carried him on his shoulder, as if he was a sack of flour. If the blonde didn't want to see Chopper, than he would make him.
To Zoro's concern, the cook was even too weak to resist being carried like that. He merely made retching sounds, though no more puke came out.
The older man wasted no time and rushed to the doctor's corner. When Chopper saw him, he jumped a bit, startled with the expression Zoro had on his face.
"Stupid cook's sick," He said, putting Sanji down to the couch next to Chopper, "He had been throwing up now and then for a while."
"I'm fine," Sanji groaned, but of course Chopper wouldn't believe him. Sanji's pale face and messy look was the sign that he wasn't fine.
"Lay down and stay still," Chopper ordered, and Sanji couldn't do anything but obey. When the reindeer is in his doctor mode, he became very strict. "I'm gonna check you out."
Chopper pulled out his stethoscope and checked Sanji's condition. No fever. No cold. "What did you say the symptoms were?" He asked to Zoro's direction.
"Throwing up and..." The swordsman thought a bit, "throwing up. He just couldn't control it. Just now, even he couldn't hold it in when we—" His words were cut off when he caught the glare given to him. Ah, what he and Sanji were doing aren't supposed to be known by anyone. Right. "When we had an activity together."
Oh how Sanji wanted to kick the marimo's head for saying such thing. Why couldn't he just lie with 'had a talk' or 'fought' or something like that? Luckily, Chopper was too busy checking him so that he didn't bother with that statement.
Chopper put his stethoscope on Sanji's belly and frowned. He rubbed the blonde's belly and once again frowned. "This is strange," he mumbled to himself.
"What's strange?" Zoro asked impatiently. He shared a glance with Sanji
The little reindeer looked up at Zoro's worried, and intimidating, face before answer. "Umm... Nothing," he answered, fidgeting.
"Choper, it's about my stomach isn't it. Don't you think you have to tell me if there's something wrong with it?" Sanji said, half threatening.
"B-but there's nothing wrong with your stomach."
"Then why is he keep vomiting like a pregnant woman?" pushed Zoro.
"HE'S NOT PREGNANT ZORO!" snapped the anxious doctor, "Umm... what I mean is... what I mean is, it's impossible for a man, like Sanji, who is undoubtedly a man, to get pregnant."
"Yeah, marimo. It's impossible. Idiot."
"Then?" Zoro asked to both his nakama.
"H-he's just tired I think. All he needs to do is have some good rest, avoid an empty stomach and eat some ginger."
"Ugh I really can't eat Chopper. Food seems to make me wanna puke also."
"E-eh r-really?"
"Yeah, it seems that I can't stand some strong odor either."
Chopper's frown get even deeper, and he looked to fidgeting even more. "I-I'm gonna just give you some vitamin and some pills then. It supposes to reduce your nausea." said the doctor as he took the pills.
The swordsman and the cook left after Chopper gave them the pills, leaving the now worried and curious young doctor alone.
3rd month
"It's impossible. That can't happen!"
"But I've watched over him for the past weeks and all the signs confirmed it."
"You're a doctor, Chopper, you're the one who supposed to know the best about the fact that it CAN'T happen between two guys!"
"Weeell… Is that a bad thing?"
"It's not about the matter of bad and good, Luffy. It's just that it's too impossible."
"What are we gonna do now, Nami?"
"We're not gonna do anything, Usopp, because that doesn't happen."
"But cook-san seemed to show all the symptoms..."
"Did you forget too that Sanji is a guy?"
"There's the bump too."
"What bump?"
Everyone gasped in shock when they saw a certain swordsman showed up on the door. "Z-Zoro," Usopp's breath hitched, "I thought you were feeding Sanji."
"As if he'll let anyone but Nami or Robin feed him," Zoro answered casually, then turned his attention back to Chopper, the one who talked last, "So, what bump you were talking about?"
"Bump?" Chopper blinked rapidly, "What bump? We weren't talking about any bump. No bump. The bump is not possible anyway—" Nami clamped a hand on his mouth in order to prevent the doctor to say anything more.
"Are you hiding something?" Zoro furrowed his eyebrows and leaned in to the doctor, intimidating him. But then Nami saved the poor reindeer and pulled him to her back. "We aren't."
"Then why don't you tell me what you guys are talking about, eh?" pushed Zoro, his voice was a tone deeper, showing his impatience.
"Nmbi, ai thwing wmbii..."
"Let him talk, witch."
"Oh, okay, okay." Nami released Chopper mouth from her grip and let the reindeer talk.
"Nami, I just think that if it really happened they're the ones should be the first to know. It's for their own good."
Zoro raised an eyebrow. This concerns him and the love-cook?
"Fine." Nami looked around waiting for someone, anyone, to spoke up and tell their first mate the truth. But no one was talking. Instead the rest of her nakama were staring at her, waiting for her to explain the situation. "What? Don't look at me! Chopper, you go tell him."
"Why me?!"
"You're the one who confirm it. And beside, isn't the doctor the one who supposed to deliver such news."
"Luffy was the one who gave the fruit to Zoro! He's the one who should talk!"
"What fruit?" asked Luffy, innocently.
"Yeah, what fruit?" asked Zoro, dangerously.
"But Nami was the one who gave it to Sanji. And this whole thing was her idea, anyway," said Usopp.
"He's got some point there, navigator-san."
Nami looked around and once again everyone was staring at her, waiting. "Ugh, okay. okay!" she stomped her foot. "But I'll explain it once we get Sanji to the galley."
"So guys, do you remember the pink and white fruit that you ate a couple of months ago?" Nami started her story once they were all gathering in the galley. Sanji and Zoro were seated on one side of the dinner table while the others were sitting the other side, with Usopp obviously trying to be seated farthest from Zoro.
"Of course I remember the fruit! It was Nami-swan who gave it to me!" the blonde said, with all the heart-shaped eyes but less the mellorine dance though since he couldn't afford to move around so much.
"Oh shut up, love cook! It might be a poisonous fruit for all we know," snapped Zoro.
"Marimo!"
"Dartboard brow!"
"GUYS! Shall I continue?"
"Please do, my beautiful lady."
"Well, that pink and white fruit was called a Cupid Fruit."
"Sounds tacky. What is that? Some kind of Devil Fruit?"
"Kind of, but it won't affect the body permanently, and you can still swim." Nami replied to Zoro.
"If it was human, you can say that they are cousins, Swordsman-san," Robin answered in the easiest term so even Zoro could understand.
"So what does the fruit do?"
"It's um... how shall I put it. It supposedly makes a couple to act like a couple even if they don't want to or well you know," Nami pondered.
Sanji started to feel uneasy about Nami's explanation. Oh shit.
"And why did you give us that fruit?" asked Zoro.
"Well, actually, the person who sold the fruit to me told that it's supposed to err... visualizes, or just makes a relationship obvious."
"What do you mean?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.
"He said that the extent to what will happen after eating the fruit depends on how far the relationship goes within mind and body. It varied from couldn't stop holding hands to kissing and further." The navigator coughed, "And, it was sold pretty cheap too. So I—WE can't resist the urge to make you eat it."
The flabbergasted Sanji merely had his eyes opened wide and jaw dropped. Again, Zoro was the one who responded. "With what intention you do that for?"
"To prove that you two are a couple."
"BUT WE AREN'T!" Sanji's words came out a bit too fast. Zoro rolled his eyes, but the hands gripped his arm made him winced. "Oi, marimo! Tell them we're not a couple!"
"We thought," Nami continued, ignoring Sanji's near heart-attack state, "the fruit was a fake, since nothing happened between you two."
"Nami-swan," Sanji pleaded, "Don't you just think that it has just proved the non-existent relationship between me and that green haired idiot?"
"But then," Nami continued again, ignoring Sanji for the umpteenth time, "Chopper figured out something."
"Wh-what something? There's nothing, rite? Chopper?" Sanji asked the reindeer doctor nervously.
"Umm… N-no, Sanji. There's actually something. Something that can explain your nausea and the bump on your stomach."
"But you say I was just tired. And the bump is just because I'm getting fat, rite? I mean I do gain some weight. Thanks to you guys who made me eat but didn't let me do any chores," rambled the blonde.
"Ugh, Chopper, can you just tell them?" said Nami impatiently.
"Umm... guys… Umm actually..." Chopper fidgeted in the most nervous state ever.
"Just spill it, Chopper!" snapped Zoro.
"Well, Zoro, Sanji. Congratulations, you're having a baby!" Chopper said in the fakest happy tone he could possibly produce.
Sanji fainted in an instant.
4th month
"I can't believe this," Sanji moped, "I can't believe this. I can't believe this. I can't believe this."
"What are you moping about, cook?"
Sanji cursed inwardly and thumped his head to the table in front of him, didn't bother to turn to find out who was behind him. "I can't believe this."
"Believe it already, it had been a few weeks since the news came out that you're pregnant."
A vein snapped on Sanji's forehead. "How can you take it so easily, dumbass! Are you that dumb that it never registered to you that a man aren't supposed to get pregnant?!"
"Well, it's the cousin of devil fruit. If devil fruit can make Luffy entertain himself by playing rope jumping with his own arms, its cousin should be able to do the same wonder."
"This and that aren't even in the same level of wonder," Sanji moped again, "This is a disaster."
Zoro shrugged as he sat on the chair next to Sanji.
"I mean, why I'm the one who gets pregnant?!"
"Maybe that's because you're sissy and flap your hair all the time."
Sanji glared in fury, "If only they gave that fruit to you..."
"Luffy did give it to me, you know. But you're still the one who gets pregnant," Zoro leaned in and smirked, "Because you're sissy and flap your hair all the time."
"Fuck off, you moronic ape-man that couldn't even think of a different mock-line in less than an hour!" Sanji pushed Zoro away. The swordsman went silent for a while before leaning in once more grabbed the back of Sanji's head. Before Sanji had the time to protest, Zoro already crushed their lips together.
A muffled protest came out from Sanji, and he pushed Zoro away once more before shouted, "FUCK OFF! I'm not in the mood! I'm never gonna be in the mood anymore!"
"Don't worry," Zoro clicked his tongue, "I've asked Chopper and he said we still can do it if we're careful. So I'll be careful."
Sanji widened his eyes, couldn't believe what Zoro had said, "You ASKED Chopper about whether—we can fuck or not?! You mean you told him we fucked?!"
"The fact that we fucked had become clear to everyone already anyway. You're pregnant remember."
Sanji thumped his head to the table again. Once, twice. "I can't believe this. I can't take this. The humiliation." He gripped his own hair. "Nami-swan, Robin-san…"
"Nami was the one who got the idea to give us the fruit."
"Stop badmouthing her." Sanji growled. He tried to take refuge from his smoke. But before he could even light it, Zoro pulled it out of his mouth and crushed it.
"W-what the hell are you doing!" cried the blonde.
"You can't smoke. It's not good for the baby. And for you too," he added silently.
"Tsk! Did Chopper tell you that too?"
"No." Zoro scratched the back of his head. "I read it from his book"
Sanji was gaping like a fish out of water. "Y—y—you read?!?"
"Just because Chopper gave me the book. He said I've asked a lot, then why not find it out myself."
"You've asked a lot to him!??!" Sanji shrieked, freaked out by the fact that Zoro had already known a lot about pregnancy. "I'm the one who got pregnant. You don't need to do that—"
"The book said the father should really take care of the mother who carried the baby. So I'm just trying to be a responsible father, okay."
At this rate, Sanji's going to lose his sanity. "Oh, so I'm the mother!"
Zoro stared at him strangely as if he had just told Zoro that he didn't want a blonde hair, "Of course you're the mother. You're the one expecting."
"I don't care! I'm a man! I'm a father!" Sanji shouted.
"Hmm, then just let the kid call me father and call you mother."
"That's not different from before, asshole!"
"Ah," The light bulb in Zoro's head seemed to lighten up, registering what Sanji just said, "Yes."
"Tsk! We go with two fathers, you hear that? No mother! I won't let our kid get any kind of education from you, you moronic uncivilized—."
"What?"
Sanji turned his eyes to Zoro to see his strange expression, "What what?"
"What did you just said?" Zoro asked again, now he blinked once, twice.
"I won't let our kid get any education—."
"Our kid," Zoro blinked, his mouth gaped before finally a smile cracked on his face, "Our kid." He stared at Sanji, still with that smile which made Sanji flushed for no reason whatsoever.
5th month
For the whole week, Sanji had been acting grumpy. He wouldn't let Zoro touch him or even let them in the same room whenever he hasn't take any bath. 'He smelt like shit', the blonde said to everyone. The blonde would be grunted and groaned out of the blue, kicking at things sometimes, but only shoved Zoro or the other crew, save the girls of course, away whenever they asked him what's wrong.
There were times when the cook would only stay at the boys' quarter, made Zoro do nothing besides keeping him cool enough in a scorching day like making him some drinks or something. Of course the drinks were merely made of water and ice, for Zoro couldn't mix a drink even if his life depended on it.
At other times, Sanji came up with the most bizarre requests for snacks. The names sounded very foreign to Zoro, and the accent Sanji used when saying those didn't help him identifying what the heck are those. He asked Nami and Robin, but they said they're impossible to get, especially when they're so far away from land. In the end, he didn't get it and Sanji gave him a kick on the head.
Learning from experience, when the ship harbored on a city, Zoro asked what Sanji wanted for snacks later on. Sanji answered he didn't want anything. But then the ship sailed and Sanji asked for a Tripes à la mode de Caen.
Needless to say what Zoro got on his head next.
The swordsman tried his best to make Sanji comforted. Then when he thought Sanji's mood was better, Zoro asked what's wrong. But Sanji merely kicked the green haired in his head.
For the umpteenth time.
"Would you stop doing that!" the swordsman snapped.
"What?" asked the blonde moodily.
"Kicking me in the head for no reason," Zoro answered matter-of-factly.
"Since when do I need a reason to kick your head?"
"Well, at least, try not to be so grumpy."
"YOU!" Sanji shouted all of a sudden, "You go get yourself pregnant and try no to be grumpy! Listen you, bastard! I'm a cook, but now I can't cook 'coz the smell of the spices and the meat and practically everything make me want to puke. And it's the 5th month already, most of people already lost their nauseous by their 3rd month. But me, a cook, I still get that nausea. And what about the temperature! Why is it so hot! Fuck! Can you imagine how it feels like to be in the galley, cooking, in this temperature! Can you imagine how sweating I'd be? I'd die of dehydrating!" He grunted again, and again, and again. And Zoro could only clear his throat couple of time, before he dared to say anything.
"Well, perhaps you can—" His word was cut off as he tried to reach Sanji's hand.
"DON'T TOUCH ME! Don't even look at me! I'm so ugly! My belly is so big! Oh my god! I'm so fat. My hair is damp and it loses its shine. And my back is hurting me. Fuck! I couldn't even sleep in any different angle but on my back. I'm so useless. I hate this! I HATE YOU! GET OUT!"
Again Zoro could only clear his throat. He had read somewhere that expecting mum could be so hard to deal with. With their hormones and everything. But never, NEVER he had imagined that an expecting man/father could be as, if not even, worse.
While he was having those thoughts, Sanji kicked Zoro outside the boys' quarter. The door was slammed right in front of him.
"Remember, you have to support him no matter what," Chopper said, "He will be cranky and all, but you have to support him."
Sighing loudly, he sat on the floor, back leaning against the door. He coughed and opened his mouth, "Sanji."
No response, but it wasn't like he was expecting any so soon. "I don't think you're fat."
The sound of something being thrown at the door startled him, but that's the sign that Sanji was listening, right? "I think... ehm, your hair is still flapping around."
"You just can't comfort anyone," A gruff voice came from inside, "Do us a favor and fuck off."
"Your belly," Zoro continued, coughing again to ease his discomfort, "Is big, but it's not like it's a bad thing. I mean, that means our kid is getting big, right?"
Zoro waited for a response, and he sighed in relief when finally Sanji whispered, "...I suppose."
"It's gonna get bigger," Zoro smiled, "Your stomach is gonna get bigger, along with our kid—"
Zoro stopped talking when he heard Sanji stomped closer, and he found himself falling backwards when the door was opened suddenly, "I KNOW IT'S GONNA GET BIGGER!" Sanji glared as he hovered above him, "I'm gonna get fatter and fatter, and uglier and uglier, and I don't need you to tell me!"
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows and made a move to stand up, "Where does that come from—UGFH!!" The hard sole of Sanji's shoe landed on his face.
6th month
When Sanji's hormones were not acting like crazy bitch—yes, it wasn't Sanji that acted like a crazy bitch, it was his hormones—and the temperature was friendly enough for the expecting man, he would gladly cook and acted like his usual self. He would serve some drinks to the girls and even Zoro sometimes, but only when Sanji thought the green haired wasn't so smelly like he usually did of course.
Sanji had been watching Zoro doing katas for couple of minutes. The sun was setting in the west and the sky had begun to darken. The rest of the crew was in the galley, playing cards, waiting for their dinner. The two who've left on the upper deck were sharing a comfortable silence.
The blonde had decided that, despite Zoro was sweating like crazy as he always did, the green haired wasn't so smelly today. He had cold ice tea in his hand. It wasn't as cold as it was the first time he made it, since he'd been holding it for awhile when he was busy studying Zoro's movements.
He always wondered whether Zoro realized his existence or not whenever he was watching the other doing his thing, whether it was sleeping or practicing. Because, sometimes Zoro turned at him and stared back at him, grinning occasionally, as if knowing that Sanji'd been watching him for sometime. But at other times, the swordsman's seems caught up in his own thought that he didn't sense that the other was around. Just like, now. And Sanji never had the gut to break the silence whenever Zoro was in such state.
He silently walked up to the other man to put down the ice tea. But apparently he wasn't stealthy enough to go unnoticed by Zoro.
Their eyes met and Sanji felt anxious all of the sudden. Sometimes, he just couldn't face this Zoro, the one with a deep, strong eyes starring at him.
"Um… I bring you some ice tea," the blonde said finally, trying to keep his cool.
"Sure," Zoro replied shortly, "thanks," he added quickly.
Sanji couldn't stop his smile when he heard that little gratitude, but his smile disappeared quickly when his legs suddenly tripped over something on the floor. He didn't even had the chance to feel the fright as it happened so fast.
He fell and rolled downstairs, everything was upside down.
Then the pain came.
His mouth opened in a silent agony when he felt as if thousands of swords were thrust into his stomach. A pair of hands supported his head and the face of Zoro hovered above him, "Oi, cook! Are you okay?! Cook!"
Sanji gasped for breath, sweats began to form on his forehead, "Zo... ro..." The pain. He felt wet. "My..." He glanced down to his stomach.
Zoro caught the signal and followed his stare in horror, "You're bleeding. Fuck, you're bleeding. CHOPPER!!" He shouted desperately. The swordsman intended to bring Sanji up, but Sanji screamed in pain, making him stopped his movements, "Shit!! CHOPPER!! CHOPPER!!"
The reindeer finally heard his calling and he came with the rest of the crew from the galley. Chopper widened his eyes at the scene and rushed to check on the cook, "What happened?"
"He-he fell," Zoro's face contorted in worry, "He tripped over one of my barbells, He-he fell down the stairs and... he fell," He almost couldn't compose his sentence, "He bleeds. Chopper, he's bleeding!"
"Bring him to the infirmary," Chopper said.
"But he was screaming in pain when I intended to brought him up!"
"The baby..." Nami held back his breath. Zoro turned to her in confusion.
"What do you mean? What's with the baby?"
"Just bring him to the infirmary," Chopper ordered. "And pray we won't lose the baby."
"No," Zoro shook his head, "No. You can't do this. The kid—"
Chopper finally saw that Zoro was in the state of shock, and he took the liberty of changing himself to the bigger form and brought Sanji up carefully.
It'd been hours since the last time Nami saw Chopper brought Sanji into infirmary. They'd been doing nothing but waiting for Chopper to come out and tell them that everything's alright. That Sanji was safe and so was the baby. The air was so tense and she wanted to cry. But she knew that the man next to him was the one who was more terrified than her. If there was anyone in that room that needed to be comforted, that person must be Zoro.
Nami couldn't see Zoro's face. It was hidden behind his own hands. But whenever she got a glance at that face it was always blank and flat. And that was not good. She preferred Zoro to be angry, because that what he did. He raged. But when he was like this, it felt like she was loosing him.
The red haired girl placed her hand in the small of Zoro's back and soothed him. "Are you okay?" she asked warmly. He just nodded. "Chopper will fix them and everything's gonna be alright, Zoro."
"I know," he answered with a small, bitter smile on his lips. "Yeah, they're gonna be fine. The stupid love cook and the baby," he muttered to himself. "They're gonna be fine as long as they're not with me. I mean, who am I kidding? I'll always be the idiot one, I get lost all the time, get into a fight. They need to be with someone that can take care of them properly. Not with me." Zoro covered his face once again. "Shit!" he punched the bench he was sitting on.
"But Zoro, you are the father. It's your child. Of course you're the one who should be with them. They don't need anybody else."
Zoro shook his head, "Listen, witch. Sanji fell because of me. I'm not smart enough to place my weight in the right place. I didn't even think that Sanji might trip over by it. I mean, I should've known that, with the state of his belly right now, it's hard for him to look down and watch his step. I should've..." he stared at Nami, no words could come out of his mouth, and he never looked as lost as he was right now.
7th month
The sound of the knife was heard as it sliced the carrot. It stopped abruptly before a voice rose, "What the fuck are you doing here?"
The man being asked shrugged, "I'm keeping a watch."
"Over what?!" Sanji turned around on his heels and crossed his arms in front of him.
Zoro choose silence, but Sanji knew exactly the answer. And that annoyed him. "Can't you just get the fuck off and train like usual?" He snarled.
The guilty glint on Zoro's eyes annoyed Sanji more, but before the green-haired man answered, an explosion was heard from the outside.
Silence.
Then a laughter. Luffy's.
"Oi," Sanji pushed Zoro away, but he didn't budge, "Oi! Let go of me! That's only Usopp and his failed mixings! Don't you hear Luffy laughing his ass off?!"
Still with his hands around Sanji, Zoro restlessly looked around. It was after Luffy's laugh turned louder and no more explosions was heard, he let go of the blonde man. "Are you okay?"
"Am I okay?" Sanji felt a vein popped, "There wasn't even anything happened! I can take care of myself, asshole!"
"I just need to ask, you know," Zoro heaved a sigh, "You should've got some bed rest anyway."
"I already have, for weeks, dammit," Sanji glared, "And if I stayed any longer, all of you are going to die from starvation or food poisoning due to letting Luffy cook."
"But Chopper—."
"Chopper said I'm fine already," Sanji walked back to the kitchen counter, "And the baby is fine too. Get used to that fact."
Zoro still looked hesitant when he let go off the blonde man, but somehow he could bring himself to the galley door. It was hard for Zoro to leave the blonde, not when he felt so responsible about the accident that happened weeks ago. Not when he almost made them lose their baby. And it was definitely hard for him to leave Sanji alone after never letting his eyes left the blonde since weeks ago. Zoro sighed. "No, I really can't leave you. Something bad might happen to you while I wasn't around."
Sanji's face changed instantly as he heard Zoro's answer. He really couldn't take any more over protective words from Zoro. It really hurt his pride as a man. It was as if… he was completely weak and useless. He's not. He's Sanji and he's not weak and useless, a belly or two won't change that. "If you want someone who act clingy and need to be protected the next time you get someone pregnant, make sure that it was a she!"
"But now, you're the one that I get pregnant into," Zoro answered matter-of-factly.
"So what, you regret that now?" The younger man burned Zoro with his glare, "Well, just so you know, I'm really sorry that I got pregnant by you."
The cook expected Zoro to talk back and get into their usual bickering thing. But instead, silently and voluntarily, Zoro put kneeled down and his head against the wooden floor. "Um... do it," he said, a bit hesitant.
"Do what?" asked Sanji menacingly. He knew exactly what Zoro was doing. And he had promised to himself that he won't be mean when Zoro doing it. But still, he was pissed off right now and he only wanted to make the green haired to suffer a bit. "You know I only wanna do it when you say it—."
"Okay, okay. I know. Please kick my head if it can make you feel better."
It wasn't a real kick really. But considering the state of his belly, and the lack of nicotine in his blood, the nudge against the green head was more than enough to release his stress.
"Should I go now?" asked Zoro once he let his head get kicked.
"Sure. Whatever," answered the blonde, though he couldn't hide the slight curl his lips made.
8th month
Once Chopper succeeded in assuring Zoro that it was okay to let the blonde doing light chores, Zoro didn't have any problem in adjusting himself to his previous daily routine. This was, of course, consisting taking his daily dose of napping. The only different was, now, he had to get used to waking up with a light nudge against any part of body that was reachable by the pregnant blonde.
"Ughh.." Zoro grunted as his shin being prodded repeatedly by a very familiar shoe-tip. "Hnnh, I'm awake. I'm awake." he said as he opened his sleepy eyes slowly. "What?"
"Come here." Sanji instructed Zoro to get closer to his belly.
The swordsman couldn't help to hide his excited face. "Oooh, now you allow me to talk to the baby?"
"No!" snapped the blonde. "You still can't talk to the baby. Not when you could only say stupid stuffs."
"Then why do you want me to get closer to your belly?"
"Feel it with your hand," the cook placed Zoro's hand on top of his huge belly. Though he still looked confused, Zoro did what the blonde told him to.
"Hey," said the green haired. "I can feel the baby," He was somehow looked baffled and amazed at the same time.
"I know. The baby has been kicking since this morning," said Sanji with the same amazed tone.
"Kicking? How could you know that he was kicking? Why do you have to say that he's kicking? What if he's punching? What if he's been punching your belly with his fist? Have you ever considered that, cook?"
"Of course, the baby is KICKING. Why you say? Because that's what babies do. They're kicking. They never punch, you id—." Sanji grunted, "I-D-I-O-T!!" Yes, spelling was Sanji's new habit, since he was sure that cursing would be bad for his baby.
"But Sanji! That's not fair! My son is KICKING. He's gonna be just like YOU!" cried Zoro in horror.
Sanji took a deep, deep breath before saying, "First, it's OUR son. Second, how could you know that it was a SON? Third, WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING LIKE ME?!!"
"First, it's a son because I'm the father!" Zoro said with his abnormal arrogance, "My son just has to be a son! He'll be strong like me and want to hold a sword from the moment he's born! So it would be a problem if he's like you!"
"If he's like you, it would get even worse because you can't even count things like my questions! I asked three f-u-c-k-i-n-g questions! Why the h-e-l-l did you call him YOUR son?"
Zoro rolled his eyes, "Che, you and your ramblings with little details. A strong swordsman like me and this kid right here," he patted Sanji's belly, "don't need to fuzz over little details like that."
Sanji slapped the swordsman's hand away, "Then don't touch my belly, d-u-m-b-a-s-s!"
"You're the one who told me to!" Zoro furrowed his eyebrows.
"I can't let my boy being contaminated by your stupidity."
"Hey!" Zoro called out when Sanji walked away, "Where are you going?!"
"Someplace that doesn't have your smell."
"Wait," Zoro hesitated, "When are you going to let me to talk to him?"
"When you admit you are stupid," Sanji turned his head to smirk at the other man, but the expression on Zoro's face stopped him. Zoro was silent and stared at him for a while, before he finally opened his mouth.
"I..." He started, "I am stupid."
If he could, Sanji would trip over his head. But the baby won't survive another fall, so he merely jaw-dropped. Zoro, the man who are made of muscle and ego, just did what Sanji told him. Zoro twitched with a mix of embarrassment and annoyance, then he spoke again, "Can I speak to the baby now?"
Silence. Then Sanji's chuckles turned to laughter.
"What are you laughing at?!" Zoro snarled.
"Fine, fine," Sanji laughed again, "You can talk to the baby."
The blonde could see clearly the beam on Zoro's eyes, and it was like nothing he'd seen before. And it just made him wanna smile.
"Hey, baby," Zoro said against Sanji's belly, "It's your pop, Zoro." He felt a kick from inside Sanji's tummy. The green haired looked up and grinned to the cook. "He's responding."
"I can feel that," the blonde smiling back at him.
"Ummm.. kid, I just want to let you know, that um.. I'm the one with the green hair," Zoro continued. "Just think I should let you know, so you wouldn't get confused when you're out of your mom's, I mean, dad's belly," he quickly corrected before Sanji decided never to let him talk to the baby again. Zoro shut his mouth for a while then he looked up at Sanji again, "What else should I say?"
"How should I know?" Sanji wanted to glare, but he chuckled instead, "If you don't have anything to say anymore, you should go away before you say anything stupid that'll make me regret letting you say anything in the first place." He said that with snarky tone, but his face showed he wasn't serious at all.
"Your dad has blonde hair, and named Sanji," Zoro glanced up, enjoying the slight flustered look on the cook's face, "He's annoying sometimes, but he's a good guy. So don't make any trouble for him while you're in there, ok?" A kick from inside. "Ah, good boy. That's my son."
9th month
As his belly got bigger, all that Sanji could do was sitting around and doing nothing. This of course made him even crankier at first, but once he got use to it, he really had no problem with having the other boys serving him drinks and snacks while he was sitting on the deck with the girls. He especially really had nothing to complain about Zoro's new duty, massaging his feet.
When the sun was intolerably hot, Zoro wouldn't let Sanji to be on the deck. He would make the cook to stay at the galley, and of course, as the consequence he had to keep the blonde entertained. But he wasn't Usopp, so he couldn't tell him about his great adventure stories. And he wasn't Nami or Robin either, whose existences were enough to provide endless happiness for the blonde.
And so, Zoro did what he did best-according to Sanji at least. He would take a nap next to the blonde's belly, rubbing it until he dozed off.
The first time he did that, he was so sure that Sanji would mad at him for leaving him to take a nap like that. But apparently the cook didn't, he even seemed to enjoy their time together, for Zoro's surprise. And so the swordsman kept doing it.
Sometimes, Sanji was the one who initiate to stay inside, especially when he didn't feel too well. But most of the time, it was just his excuses so he could watch Zoro's sleeping face. He just loved to see that usually looking menacing face turned soft and childish. And when he ran his fingers through the short hair, he could almost feel the green of it.
As they reach further into the ninth month, the blonde had stayed in the galley more often than before. As in today, he was the one who initiate it first. He didn't tell Zoro why, but the swordsman just glad that he did that. It was for the best anyway.
Of course Zoro fell asleep once everyone else left them after breakfast, leaving Sanji alone with his own thought and the view of Zoro's drooling face. He sighed over the thought that been bugging him since his pregnancy. Now, he was officially stuck with the idiot for the rest of his life.
Raising a kid was one hell of a job, let alone, if he had to do it with that moronic asshole, Sanji thought while absentmindedly tangling his fingers into that short green hair. He realized that he had to watch for not only one kid, but two.
Sanji winced as a jolt of pain running through his body. Another cram. He had been getting it since the early morning. He knew he should've told Zoro and Chopper about it, but he didn't want to make a commotion. What if it was just a false alarm like two days before? He had caused the entire ship worrying about him for a day, and nothing happened.
But he had to be honest, though, that the cram he felt today was different. It somehow felt so close to the time and it was getting more often. His body tensed once again as the pain hit him. He tried to hold it back but failed as a groan escaped his mouth. And this time it stayed longer, like it wouldn't get away anytime soon.
"Unghh.." he growled once again. This time was loud enough to wake the man next to him, who immediately jolted straight up and held him, looking all worried and panicked.
"What's wrong!?" Zoro cried. But the blonde shook his head stubbornly. "But, Sanji--"
"Just a cram," Sanji answered through his greeted teeth.
"Why didn't you tell me? Since when? Did Chopper know? I'm gonna take you the infirmary, okay."
Sanji waved his hand. "It's okay. It might be just a false alarm."
"But it also might be the time, cook!"
"I'll let you know when it's the time," the blonde looked at him firmly. Zoro could only sigh.
"Do we really need to argue even in times like this?" he asked softly, "Can we just—It's for the baby, cook."
Sanji stared at him for a while then gave up, "Fine."
Zoro helped Sanji to get on his feet, but then Sanji gripped his arm. "What?" Zoro asked nervously, "Is the cram back?" Sanji didn't answer, the grip merely tightened, alarming the older man to the point of freaking out, "Don't tell me."
"Zoro," Sanji panted out, "Zoro, the baby."
Although the swordsman's face showed his anxiety, it was a wonder that Zoro didn't freak out and stayed calm through the whole journey to take Sanji to the doctor. However, luck was not on their side. Half the way, an explosion was heard and the ship shook.
"MARINES!" Usopp shouted from the outside.
"FUCK!" Zoro cursed, and Sanji slapped his mouth weakly, "Don't curse in front of the baby."
Zoro was about to reply, but Sanji's face contorted in pain and he groaned loudly. Sweats began to form on the blonde's forehead, and Zoro's calm was on the verge of disappearing. But then a glimpse of hope came in the form of Chopper.
"CHOPPER!" He called out, making the reindeer who was running towards outside turned his head, "THE BABY!"
Chopper gasped, but hurriedly came to Sanji. Meanwhile, the explosions and the shaking of the ship continued, then Usopp shouted again from the outside, "ZORO! WHERE'S ZORO?!"
The reindeer changed his form to the bigger size, and Zoro helped him carrying Sanji to a safer and quieter room. The cook's breathing was heavy, and it took him a huge amount of strength to speak, "Zoro…"
"I can't leave you here," Zoro cut his words and held his hands, knowing what the blonde was going to tell him. Chopper went out and returned quickly with some towels and a bowl of warm water.
"AAGH!" Sanji screamed and jerked up, the pain on his stomach was excruciating. "Zoro—FUCK!"
"Hey," Zoro held his hand tighter, assuring the person before him, "Don't curse in front of the baby."
"FUCK!!" Sanji screamed again and again. He trashed around, but Chopper held him down, "FUCK IT HURTS GODDAMMIT MOTHERFUCKING--AAAAGH!"
"Breathe, Sanji!" Chopper said with a loud voice in order to top Sanji's shouts and groans, "Calm down and breathe!"
"HOW CAN I FUCKING BREATHE LIKE THIS YOU MOTHERFUCKING MEAT!!
Another explosion outside, but Zoro didn't turn his head from Sanji, "Come on, Cook, you can do this."
"ZORO!!" This time it was Nami who called out in the midst of the sounds of the battle, "ZORO!!!"
Sanji gripped Zoro's arms and glared at him, "Get the fuck out of here and help the others, you moron!"
"I can't--"
"AAGH!!"
"Breathe, Sanji!"
"STOP TELLING ME TO BREATHE!" Sanji snarled and returned his face towards Zoro, "Get the fuck out or I won't let the baby know his parent other than me."
Zoro hesitated. He knew Sanji just didn't want to be a burden and caused their ship to fall into the marine's hand. But he couldn't possibly leave Sanji alone in this—. "Hey," Sanji's voice shook him out of his train of thoughts, "Stop thinking too hard with that single cell-ed brain of yours. I'm not a girl. I can take care of myself," He pushed Zoro away with the little bit of his strength left, "Go and help the others."
After some more seconds of Zoro hesitating and Sanji reassuring, the swordsman finally left after Chopper said he'll take care of Sanji.
"Don't die," was the blonde's parting words.
As Zoro walked out of the room, he drew his swords, determined to get the fight done as soon as possible. He found out that the marines attacking them now weren't that strong, it's just that there were too many of them. All the while, he tried hard to concentrate on the fight, but a little part of his mind always managed to waver back to Sanji and the baby.
When the fight finally done, he rushed back, along with the others, to the place where his mind was. Chopper was just walking out of the room, and Zoro grabbed his shoulders instantly. The questions lumped in his throat, failed to make their exit. But Chopper knew exactly what he wanted to ask.
"Congratulations," He smiled, "You and Sanji are the parents of a very healthy boy."
Zoro blinked.
Twice.
"But, Sanji is still tired from the whole delivering process. He's not even completely conscious. So, please don't get him even more spent." Zoro could only nod. The whole event was still too overwhelming for him, anyway. "And, um the baby was needed to be feed and everything so I took him to the girls. Is that okay with you?" Once again Zoro only nodded.
When the green haired entered the infirmary, he found the half conscious blonde peering at him through his half lidded eyes. But the warm smile Sanji gave him was all that he needed to assure him that everything that happened was real.
"You left me some of those marines?" Sanji asked teasingly.
"Shut up, cook." But the reply was soft. And he could only circle his arm around the cook's shoulder and buried his face into the mass of blonde strands. Zoro couldn't help to keep sighing and felt relieved.
"Thank God it was over, right?" the blonde suggest.
"What do you mean over," the green haired whispered into Sanji's ear. "The roller coaster ride is just about to start, cook."
Sanji chuckled. "I guess you're right. But, have you seen the kid?" the cook asked between his heaving breath. He felt Zoro shaking his head, but didn't stop from kissing his dampened blonde locks. "I haven't either. I fainted right after he was born. And when I woke up—."
"Aren't you supposed to be resting?" Zoro finally lifted his face and stared at Sanji deep in the eye. He could tell that Sanji was upset by his answer. He now realized that the cook was as dazed and excited as he was. He understood now how the cook also wants to see the child and talked to him.
"I'll get the baby," Zoro said shortly before he got up and left the blonde.
But just as he opened the door he found Nami was standing on the other side with a small bundle in her arms. She looked up at him and smile. "I was just about to kno—."
"Is that…" Zoro couldn't finish his sentence. Nami smiled at him and nodded.
"You wanna take him?" she offered.
"Um… n-no… I don't think so," he answered, stuttering. "I mean… I could drop him or something."
"Of course you won't."
"Tsk! Zoro! What are you doing there? Aren't you going to get the baby for me?" the blonde suddenly asked impatiently.
"Ah, Sanji-kun." This time Nami decided to walk past the baffled swordsman and just handed the baby to Sanji. "Here is your baby," she said all cheerfully while transferring the baby from her arms to Sanji's carefully.
"Thank you, Nami-san," the blonde said. But this time, there was no trace of his usual sing-song, sugary voice he used to use with the red haired girl. It startled her a bit, but then she realized that she must get herself used to it, since she wasn't his number one anymore.
"I guess, I'll just leave the two..," she paused, "I mean, the three of you alone," she said before finally exited the room and left the new family to have some time for their own.
The new parents sat in silence while they're watching their newborn baby. The baby was so small and looked so fragile. His eyes were closed and he was yawning every now and then just like every baby did. His skin looked so soft and had a tinge of pink on his cheeks.
Both of the boys were holding their breaths and everything seemed to come to a halt while they were watching the baby. Their baby. And when that thought finally sunk in into their mind, they felt like something so big and overwhelming was feeling their chests. When Zoro was finally able to talk, he felt as if he had to whisper his every words so he wouldn't ruin the peace.
"Sanji," he hushed, "he got your eyebrow."
"Yes. And your hair."