Title: the seven incidents of
Author: cherryshotgun
Pairing: OkitaKagura
Rating: T (because idk)
Warnings: A rather crappy rendition of the Gintama 3Z-verse. And bad grammar. Prolly some spelling as well.
Word count: 638
Disclaimer: Do not own. D'awwwwww.
i. introductions
Because it brings about a whole new level of lame, Kagura sneers.
It's the first day of high school, and the class made a whole round of introductions. Class 1-Z was definitely going to one heck of a lively class, no doubt about that, but what stood out the most were the occupants of said class.
She so does not want to be associated with that Gorilla, Kagura decides. Her Papi once said that Gorillas in Japan carry a disease that would make your testicles sag like the old vegetable vendor's boobs. It is totally not funny. What are testicles anyway?
Kagura lost all interest on what her classmates have got to say about their grubby selves after the purple-hair S&M freak established her favourite roleplay positions (what is roleplay? Kagura wonders) and extending her invitation for Ginpachi-sensei to partake in her nightly shenanigans, thus effectively making said homeroom teacher choke on his totally-not-a-cigarette lollipop and causing everyone in the room to feel uncomfortable.
Ginpachi-sensei coughed a little after the little hiccup in the introductions, but regained his composure after a few moments.
"Alright, I'm totally not interested in what all of you have got to say, but the principal's gonna confiscate my Jump issues if I don't carry out my duties, so let's have Zura introduce himself next –"
"It's not Zura! It's Katsura!" Katsura seethed, and the shady duck-looking character next to him nodded in approval.
"Well, whatever, just get on with what you gotta say –"
The classroom door slid open, cutting Ginpachi off mid-speech.
"Sorry for being late, sensei. I was helping an old lady cross the road," the new guy deadpanned.
"Ah, nice of you to join us, Souichirou-kun," Ginpachi-sensei acknowledged casually, gesturing towards an empty seat, ergo, the one next to Kagura. 'Souichirou' merely shrugged, and maneuvered his way towards his assigned seat.
Hah, like she could care less, Kagura thinks as she chewed on her sukonbu which she snuck in too easily, studying the newcomer. He looks as boring as Megane, she concludes, and turned her attention back to her sukonbu. Sukonbu is delicious, it's heavenly, it is definitely Edo's number one sna –
"Ew, something stinks in here," Boring guy wrinkled his nose in distaste and glanced down at Kagura.
Kagura widened her cerulean eyes in shock at his sudden and atrocious comment. A piece of sukonbu hung ungraciously at the corner of her mouth. He. Did. Not. Just.
Said boy continued to wrinkle his nose, even going as far as to pinch it lightly, making a dramatic show on how God-darned the smell is.
"China, I'd suggest you brush your teeth. Even better, don't eat that dog food ever again. Thanks, for the benefit of myself, considering that I'll be sitting next to you." His voice was nasal from pinching his nose, which made Kagura want to punch the daylights out of him even more so.
Oh, Kagura does not want to do something. She does it immediately.
It was chaos in a matter of seconds.
"Children, children, if you want to fight, do it in a sumo ring! I don't want my Jump to get confiscated!" Ginpachi-sensei yelled across the hubba, successfully pulling the thrashing girl off a bloodied 'Souichiro'.
He wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his wrist, ignoring the motherly worries from Kondo and snorts of amusement from Hijikata, and glared at China pointedly. She returned a similar glare, adding a flick of a booger from her nostril for extra measures.
He smirks, and Kagura is reminded of the photos of those perverted mass-killers she always sees in the newspapers that her Papi always reads and uses to clean his poo when they've run out.
Sadist. She glared even harder, as his smirk spread wider. He's a sadist.
It definitely was a day of introductions.
note_ i totally have no idea what just possessed me to churn this out. Well. Enjoy?
note2_ meant to be upped on Okita's birthday but since i'm a new user...=_=
note3_i'm also reaaaally rusty on the Gintama fandom since i'm too lazy to torrent the new episodes, but, well, there's always gintama wiki, amirite? :)
*note4_ like omg. omg. major omg. I just freaking realised that I kept misspelling/understanding Ginpachi as Gintoki D: But it's so confusing! so, do i refer to him as 'Ginpachi' or 'Gintoki' from now on? UGH! *rampage mode* I feel like a total dumbass now ._.
also, you guys might feel that this chapter's a lil short. Take it as a drabble, yeah? (i promise the next one would be much longer than this).
(I should be studying three subjects for tomorrow's examinations but no.)