AN: A tragic story of love lost, the pain of dealing with loss and coming face to face with the person who looks like the person you lost. Takes place after Conquer of Shambala when Ed and Al both ended up on the other side of the gate.

My heart is heavy

( Past Background)

It had been seventeen years since Ed and Al had closed the gate leading to their world. Traveling with Noah the boys went on a massive search for the uranium bomb that had slipped through their hands years earlier. But with no success the brothers had decided to expand their search to other countries. They had left Noah with a clan of gypsies as they boarded a boat to the United States in 1922. There Edward ran into his future wife Windy Rockbell, she was the spitting image of Winry. He fell head over heels for her in just a few months and the two were married. After a year their son was born in 1924 and Edward was on cloud nine as he held his first born Steven for the first time. After Steven they had three girls, Nina, Caroline and his youngest Melissa. He was the proudest father and husband and anyone who looked at him could see that. Before the girls were born the family had moved back to London in 1925 while Windy was pregnant with Nina.

Al became the perfect uncle and brother in law always there to help Windy with the kids and Edward when he went off on one of his crazy ventures. Windy had always tried to understand Edward's thinking and listened to his and Al's stories about their world but she never could believe that they were from another world. But she knew deep in her heart and her mind that there was something different about the brothers. They were very educated in science and formulas of different materials. Their brains worked like no other people she had ever met and the way they spoke about formulas and equations of different components made her head hurt as she tried to keep up with them. They were happy and that's all that mattered to her she loved her husband and her children. But she really didn't understand why they lived in a castle with a giant serpent in the dungeon? Yes, Edward and Al had rescued Envy from the Nazis and Edward had bought a castle like home so that he would have his own space and he wouldn't be near the children till they could explain things to them. Envy had been very difficult for the first five months. Until the day Edward told him "YOUR FAMILY! And even though I don't like the way things worked out that's the way it is." They both realized after talking that they both had held a heavy dislike towards their father. Edward apologized to Envy and told him if he'd had known that he was his half-brother things would have been different. Envy had opened up to Edward and told him he had always wanted a family but his mother Dante wasn't one for motherly comfort and she had just used him after he became a homunculus. He had begun to hate Edward and Al because he thought their father had been with them. Then he found out he had left when the boys were young "So he ran out on all of us Pipsqueak." They both came to the conclusion after hearing Hohenheim that day before he crushed himself with Envy's jaws that their father had regretted everything that had happened. Windy had overheard their conversation that day and though she was quite surprised the serpent could talk she was more surprised to hear their conversation. As she walked into the dungeon and stood before both of them "S-So he's your other brother Edward?" Edward shook his head yes as he and Envy explained all that they had been through in their lives. Breaking into tears she realized that all three brothers had missed out on a family life and she had made up her mind that she was going to make their lives the best ever from now on.

She spent an hour a day coming down and visiting with Envy and reading him novels about romance and novels by Shakespeare which only made his head hurt because he didn't understand the language or the story line till she broke it down for him at the end. But he enjoyed Edward's wife taking the time to include him in the family. He also remembered Winry Edward's other girly friend he had seen him with in Amestris. Noticing that the two were like night and day but he had figured that was one reason Edward had fallen for Windy so fast.

(Present Day)

The year was 1938 as Edward stood there staring at the headstone of his beloved wife Windy. He stared at it and kept repeating "I'm sorry." With his head bandaged and his left arm in a sling he knew this was his fault. Driving that day he hadn't been paying attention and he didn't see the truck that ran the stop sign and slammed into Windy's side of the car. The car had flipped throwing him from it and trapping her under it. He could never forget the sound of the metal crashing and her screams. It happened one week ago today and he had just got out of the hospital in time for the funeral. Turning his head and looking at his four children he sighed thinking they would never forgive him. But his son walked over "Come on dad we need to get you home" putting his arm around his father. Now fifteen Steven was the spitting image of Edward at that age with the attitude to match. Nina now fourteen knew her father was in shock and it took her and her brother to get him to the car. Caroline now nine picked up three year old Melissa and walked next to her uncle Al as they got into the car. His head was slumped down the whole way home as his long bangs hid his distraught face from everyone. When they reached the house Edward got out and walked directly to his room while Al went to talk to Envy. Envy knew his brother was in great pain because he knew how much the pipsqueak loved her and he felt so helpless he couldn't help Edward deal with the pain. He just thanked God that alchemy couldn't work in this world because he feared Edward would try the unthinkable as grief stricken as he was.

Feeling their brother needed time to deal with his grief Al and Envy both took on tasks of raising Edward's kids for the next month. The kids had learned about their Uncle the serpent from their mother and she had explained the difficulties the boys had when they were younger. She had always told the kids "Your friends would be so jealous to know your uncle is a great serpent with great power." The kids became infatuated with uncle Envy from then on. He had also enjoyed their company when they came down to visit him. Now instead of being in the dark his dungeon was lit up with light so he didn't scare his nieces and nephew when they came to visit him. His power over the years was slowly fading though due to not having red stones to digest and he knew it was just a matter of time before he joined their father on the other side.

Al entered the dungeon as Envy turned from the window he had been staring out watching Edward walk to the door "How's the pipsqueak doing?" Al slumped down in the chair in the corner "Not very well. I don't know if he'll ever recover from this. He blames himself and I keep telling him there was nothing he could have done even if he would have seen the truck." Al head lowered "It was just going too fast." Envy's head dropped thinking of the pain his brother was in "I'm sorry Al. He seems so distraught and sad and his eyes have lost that golden glow they used to have when he smiled." As Al and Envy sat there and discussed Edward the children were trying to figure out a way to bring their father out of his depression.

"We have to step in and help him now" Steven said as he turned to his sisters "He needs us to remind him of the things that need to be done." Nina lowered her head and said softly "You mean the things mom used to do."

"Yes" Steven smiled slightly as he walked over to his sisters picking up Melissa he sat down and put her on his lap "Dad is literally destroyed over this and it's up to us to help him through it. Yes we lost our mother but he lost the only person he ever loved and made us with." Melissa looked up and smiled with her big blue sapphire eyes "I want to see Daddy." She was the youngest and she didn't understand what was going on but she knew her daddy wasn't the same as he was a week ago and she knew her mommy was gone. "Where's DADDY!" she jumped down and went running upstairs as Steven ran after her "DADDY! DADDY!" Edward's bedroom door swung open and he stepped into the hall seeing his young daughter running for him he bent down and scooped her up in his right arm gave his son a wink and turned and walked back in his room and shut the door. Steven knew his father would take care of her but he also knew his father needed time to grieve but his little sister was stubborn like him and if she wanted to be with her daddy that's where she would be.

Al came back upstairs as Steven decided to go down and talk to his Uncle Envy. Talking to Envy Steven had learned a lot about his dad and Uncle Al and what they used to be. Great alchemists and fighters is what Envy told him he also told him his father never gave up on a fight he would fight till the end or until he had technical difficulties with his arm or was knocked unconscious. He had explained to Steven how his father lost his limbs and Al lost his whole body. Ed and Al never really talked about their past to the kids it was something they thought was over and done with now that they were on the other side of the gate. But it was something Envy could share with Steven and Edward's daughters about their father and other Uncle.

"Your father was happy in Amestris. Although after he met your mother he was happier here. But I don't think this is the best place for him anymore. He's lost the love of his life and I think he needs to go home and be with the only other family he has." Steven thought his father and Uncles were the only family they had this was news to him about more family "What do you mean other family?" Envy grinned "I see he never told you about the girl who looks just like your mother and the old lady." Steven was confused "What are you talking about Uncle?" So Envy began to tell Steven about Winry and Pinako and how much they meant to Edward and Al. Grinning slightly wider Envy bent down near Steven "There is a way to send you all back to Amestris and maybe your father's other girly friend can help him. Plus I'm tired of seeing him with that those shabby limbs or whatever their called. He used to sport the best automail made by his girly friend. She was the best at what she did. She made your father's especially strong and durable. He was hard to fight at times."

As Envy explained to Steven about alchemy and that using him they could open a portal to go back to Ed and Al's beloved home Steven listened to Envy intensely. He knew his father wouldn't go for it because that would mean Envy would have to die. So with this information he went to his uncle Al who as soon as he started talking Al shut him down quickly.

A few months had past and Edward had just gotten worse slipping into a deep depression. He went through the motions of the day but at night everyone could hear his pain in his screams of terror and his nightmares. He was only getting worse and Al was at his whits end. Thinking about it more after talking to Envy Al realized that maybe…just maybe taking Edward back to Amestris would help him deal with the loss he felt.