Pears
Author's Note: This is based off of an avenger headcanon I saw on tumblr. I hope you guys like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel.
Rated [T]
Warning: Language.
Pears
How was it that a tower that was supposed to have everything, have nothing to eat?
Natasha stood in front of Tony's giant fridge. Of course, to any other person, it would appear to be filled to capacity, but to Natasha, it was completely empty.
It was filled with pears.
Somewhere, a small voice in Natasha's head told her not to eat the pears. But why? The reminder was in Clint's voice, but she couldn't ask him. Clint was off on a mission in Moscow, posing as William Brandt, a data analyst. She could jeopardize the entire mission by calling it. It probably wasn't that important anyway if Clint didn't leave a note. She would have remembered if it was important.
Natasha shut the fridge double doors and moved onto the cupboards. More pears. The entire kitchen was covered in pears. Pear juice, pear smoothies, everything was just pear.
Growling, she sat down at the counter island. At that moment, Steve walked in.
"Where's. The. Food?" Natasha asked, glaring at the captain.
"What food- Oh my god." Steve's eyes widened with shock as he saw the pear filled kitchen.
"I need my food." She growled. "Don't make me resort to cannibalism."
"I'll go out to get some shawarma. In the meantime, please don't eat anyone." Steve stumbled back before running back to the elevator. Natasha probably had terrified him, but she was starving.
An hour later, Steve still wasn't back. Her stomach grumbling loudly, almost as loud as Thor's lightning. Where the hell was everyone?
"JARVIS, where is everyone?" Natasha asked.
"Everyone seems to have left the tower, with the exception of Master Loki." He replied.
"Why the hell is the kitchen filled with pears? I need real food."
"I do not know. I was shut off for a moment, and when I was back online, the kitchen was covered in pears."
"Do you know when Steve's back?" Natasha asked.
"I believe Captain Rogers will be back at the Tower soon. Meanwhile, the pears in the kitchen are edible. I scanned them and no traces of poison were found." JARVIS said.
Hesitantly, Natasha reached out for a pear. It looked just like any other pear. But she still had a bad feeling about it. On the other hand, Natasha hadn't eaten since yesterday's lunch. She inspected the golden pear carefully before taking a very large bite out of it. Her throat tightened for a moment and she swallowed on instinct.
Natasha coughed, the piece of pear almost not going down her throat, but it did. It suddenly felt very hot in the room. Her arms and neck were suddenly breaking out into red spots. Her head felt light and she needed to hold onto the countertop to keep from falling off. Natasha coughed once more, her lungs feeling like they were being squeezed and her breath coming out in short gasps.
Loki walked in and saw Natasha, turning red and her face starting to swell.
"Agent Romanoff?" Loki asked. Natasha couldn't speak. Her airway felt like it was collapsing. He was worried. He had never seen the agent like this before, nor on any other mortal did he encounter.
Natasha fell to the floor. Loki rushed over to her side.
"Natasha!" He yelled. "JARVIS, what's happening to her?"
"Agent Romanoff is having an allergic reaction to the pears. I've already called the Avengers and an ambulance is on its way."
"There's no time for that!" Loki cradled Natasha in his arms. Closing his eyes, he began to mutter a spell that he knew could help. It was going to open her airway again. Loki knew that air was the one of the only things keeping Midgardians alive.
A blue light flashed over Natasha and her breathing began to slow down, not coming out in short gasps anymore. The red spots that appeared over her body went down to a small size. She coughed, her eyes slowly opening again.
"W-what happened?" Natasha's eyes darted around the room, then back to Loki.
"You had an allergic reaction to the pears." JARVIS informed her. "Master Loki saved you."
"It was a simple spell. You would have died had I not interfered." Loki said, blushing slightly.
"Thank you, Loki." Natasha coughed slightly before leaning up and kissing Loki's cheek gently.
Of course, the Avengers decided to rush in.
"I've…got shawarma?" Steve held the bag up awkwardly. Tony just smirked at the two of them.
"A little too late, guys." Natasha pulled away from Loki, a blush appearing on her face.
"Natasha here had an allergic reaction to the dozens of pears located in your kitchen." Loki said.
"Wait, it's Natasha now? Allergic reaction? Pears?" Tony looked around.
"Apparently, I'm allergic to pears, which are all over your kitchen and nothing else." Natasha glared slightly at Tony.
"Natasha? Is the floor really that comfortable?" Thor asked. Natasha was still sitting on the ground, in Loki's arm.
"The floor isn't, but your brother is." She said, a small smile playing on her lips as a look passed between her and Loki.
Tony shuddered. "God, you two are giving me goosebumps."
"As if you and Steven aren't the world's most mushy couple. And Natasha and I aren't even together." Loki stated.
"Natasha? Do you still need to go to the hospital?" Bruce asked.
"I think I'll be fine." Natasha said. "Anyway, thanks, Loki."
"You're welcome, Natasha. Always glad to save your life." Loki said.
"You weren't glad to save me when you threw me out a window!" Tony interrupted.
"You don't have the same appeal as Natasha." Loki smirked.
Steve had to drag Tony away before he practically strangled Loki, but not before dropping the bag of shawarma off.
"Sorry for the late delivery." He apologized before leaving.
"Just don't make it happen again." Natasha said, before diving into her wrapped food.
A few days later, Clint was back and the first thing he did was not to find Natasha, but to punch Tony in the face.
"Why the hell would you let her eat a pear?!" Clint glared as the billionaire clutched his face in pain.
"How the hell should I know she was allergic?"
"I left notes all over her room. I gave you a note. Hell, I gave everyone reminders not to let Natasha eat any pears."
"It's not my fault! I don't know where the damn pears came from!"
"You are so lucky she's still alive." Clint said.
"Her new best buddy Loki's pretty happy with it." Tony said.
"What."
"If Loki didn't use magic on her, you'd be at her funeral by now." He stated.
"No more pears." Clint said before walking off.
"I didn't know." Natasha said. She was sitting curled up next to Loki, as they ate chocolate covered strawberries. The two had gotten very friendly with each other, and some might even say they were on romantic terms.
"Then what were the billions of sticky notes I stuck on your room for?" Clint sighed, exasperated. He was sitting on an armchair across from the two.
"Clint, your handwriting looks like a chicken scratched it in."
"It's true, Barton." Loki added, feeding Natasha a strawberry, which she gladly accepted.
"I didn't even know I was allergic to pears."
"You constantly forget. Who always reminds you? Me." Clint sighed.
"Sorry." Natasha shrugged.
"Loki. Now that she has you, I trust you will keep her away from any and all pears." Clint turned to the god.
"Of course. I don't want to lose Natasha either." Loki blushed slightly at the mention of Natasha having him.
"You won't lose me." Natasha pressed a soft kiss to Loki's cheek.
"Hawkward. Hawkeye out." Clint stood up. "Caw caw motherfuckers." He said before dashing out of the room, leaving Loki and Natasha in fits of laughter.
Author's Note: Yeah, the last part was kinda random and kinda OOC. Don't hit me for it! Well, I hoped you liked this! And if you wanna follow my tumblr, check my profile for it! Yeah.
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