Dear Peeta,
I miss you.
The first time I realized I was carrying your child, I cried. I was so scared. No, I was absolutely terrified.
I never wanted children, you know, but you did. You wanted them so badly. You begged me for them, and so I caved. I just wanted to make you happy, and children made you happy. I loved you more than air, and loved making you happy.
I miss your touch. I miss your hands on my skin, in my hair, butter soft, yet strong from years of kneading bread.
The first time I felt the baby kick, I broke down and cried for an hour. I didn't know what was going on; I thought I'd hurt it, somehow.
I miss you, Peeta.
The first time I held our daughter, I couldn't stop my tears for so long. She has your eyes. Your perfect, crystal clear blue eyes. I was so glad that they were not Seam gray.
I couldn't bear that.
Because they also remind me of Prim, as much as the flowers of her namesake that you planted around our house do.
I miss you, Peeta.
I miss your voice, comforting me when I am sad, making me laugh or smile. I miss how rich and velvety it felt, listening to you sing while you painted.
The first time our daughter (I named her Cecelia) spoke her first word, 'primrose', I cried for a day. I couldn't stop, because whenever I did, I would think of you.
I miss you, Peeta.
I know why you left, I understand that you had to, to protect us. The Capitol made you something you weren't, tainted your compassionate soul, and you didn't want to hurt me or the baby.
So, I understand, Peeta. I do.
But I miss you every day; it's an ache that I cannot stand, a throbbing in my chest that never goes away. Because you're gone. And you're never coming back.
When you see my father, hug him for me. Tell him I love him. Give Prim my love too, tell her I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect her from the Games, not really. Say hello to Finnick, and Darius, and Wiress, and Mags. Let them know that I never wanted this. I never wanted any of it.
All my love,
Katniss
"Peeta Mellark
Beloved Husband, Father
58 A.D.D. - 91 A.D.D.
Rest in Peace"
