Hello. My name is Takahashi Misaki. I am 25 years old now, I am currently working at Marukawa Publications as a ... You can say that I am a career man who loves his job. I am working under one of the new blooming manga artist that is quite popular. But i never knew it wold be that hard. Ah, if you are wondering about Usagi-san, I am still living with him in his penthouse-apartment. But truthfully, we are kind of...drifting apart.
Usagi-san being Usagi-san is always busy as he fails to keep up with his deadlines. I on the other hand is too busy balancing my job and house chores. Most of the time I would miss eating breakfast, lunch or dinner with Usagi-san as I am always running errands for the company. But I would always make sure there is food for Lord Usagi, as he cant manage himself. Even if we have meals together, our conversation is a bit amiss. He would ask me about work, and I would ask of his progress with his deadline. Its a good thing Usagi-san is not jealous over Ijuiin-sensei anymore. As he said that he would gie me the space that I need and is rooting for my happiness from afar. But honestly, I am not that happy...with my current relationship with Usagi-san.
Its like we have become strangers living in the same house. Usagi-chichi would sometimes randomly appear in my daily life asking about Usagi-san and how he is doing. I am very bothered by this as the times I would 'accidentally meet him' increases overtime. I do understand that he is a father and is worried about his son's well being. But his words towards me are hurtful.
"Are you planning to leech off my son for the rest of his life?"
"He deserves a better person by his side, someone incapable like you can never support him physically and mentally."
"You are just a nuisance. And he dosent even realize that yet. Leave him. Its the best for everyone."
I try to forget his words, but they always keep on replaying in my mind. Over and over again. I never told Usagi-san about this, i mean, what can I say to him? He senses something is bothering me but I managed to avoid this topic by swamping myself with work and chores. The distance between us...grew.
I have been thinking about this for a while. Maybe... I should leave him.
I finally got back from my late-night shift. I arrived home around 9.45pm. It is not that late and Usagi-san is nowhere in sight. He must be in his study completing his work. I am a little hungry, so I cooked up some instant ramen and ate it while I reading a recent manga that was released by one of my favorite authors. I went to my room but before I got in, I heard Usagi-san's door opened.
"You are back? Welcome back, Its late, Misaki."
"I am home, Usagi-san. I have work, I cant help it. Have you eaten?"
"Yeah. I did. Do you have work tomorrow?"
"Yes. But its only half-day tomorrow. But I got to run some errands before Takahiro nii-chan comes here"
"I can drive you to do your errand."
"No THANK YOU. I know you are ding this to escape from your work right? Please cut Aikawa-san some slack. She is not gonna last to long if she keeps on worrying about you and your unfinished work."
Usagi-san came closer to me. I unconciously inched away from him. His eyes widen to my reflexes. He grabs a hold of me.
"Misaki...why are you running away from me?"
"I-I am not.. Its just your imagination. Erh, hey, I gotta get up early tomorrow, so can you please let go of me?"
"And what if I say no?"
Urghh he is really pushing it. I am just too tired with work and now he wants to start an argument. We always do this. It would end up with me submitting to his sexual desires or we end up fighting and begin cold war that would last a while. Usagi-san is sometimes a little edgy because he is banned from smoking. All of those cigarettes he had been smoking is really taking a toll on his health. It is not major, but its better for him to stop. But because he is deprived from nicotine, you can say that he can get a cranky from time to time. So if I push the wrong button, he would always force me to do things that I dont want to do.
Usagi-san is a little different from before. He is a little bit more aggressive. I uhhh, am okay with the sex that we have sometimes but he sometimes forces me to do it even when I am bushed. Oh my god! What am I saying?! I am not a wife in crisis! But this totally feels like one!
"Usagi-san please stop. I am tired. Please...Let me go."
He just stared at me for sometime. He sighed and let go of me.
"I feel like you are avoiding me more and more now. You dont tell me your problems, you are always so busy, you are keen on paying for almost everything. And lately you wont have sex withe me."
"Gahhhh! Dont say that work in the middle of the night! Its-its just my duty to pay you right? I mean I cant be a burden to you forever. I am just really busy with my work and I-"
"Night time is the best time to have SEX."
"Stop it you perverted rabbit! Ill hit you! Anyway, I am just too tired. I will see you tomorrow."
I just opened my door and closed it. A bit too loud, but I just cant b anywhere near Usagi-san right now. I cant calm down. It must be another sleepless night tonight for me. Why? Because tomorrow, my nii-chan is coming alone. His wife is at her mothers house in Hokkaido along with Mahiro-kun and their new baby girl. Nii-chan is here to talk about me, he is still wondering why I am still living with Usagi-san. H asked me to become independent. And look for a girl. To be honest, I am feeling restless. I dont know what would happen tomorrow. And I am prepared for the worst. I want to be with Usagi-san...maybe. Argh! I am really annoyed with my incompetence and indecisiveness! Usagi-chichi's word are replaying in my head. I just showered, brushed my teeth and went to bed with all of my worries and doubts.
The next morning, work was a bit hectic for me. And I got scolded for being a bit slow with my work. Lately, I am screwing up in my work and is taking so much heat from my bosses. They say that I am a dedicated worker but my mistakes are something that should not be repeating. My mind is full of worry now. And it is affecting my work. This is not happening! I cant do this, get a grip Misaki! This is a job you have been wanting for so long. Dont let your dream authors lose confidence in you now.
My self-encouragement sometimes helps but not that much. Because I have finished my work for today, and bought some stuff for dinner. Now, back home- and my brother is coming. My heart feels like it is beating out of tempo.
While waiting, I was cooking dinner. Usagi-san tried to have small talks with me, maybe he knew I was bothered and wanted me to calm down. I was taking out my nervousness on the Daikon that I was cutting. Poor Daikon. I am sorry! I am just...warghhh! I hear footsteps. That must be nii-chan.
The doorbell rang. I went to get it. I was sweating a bit and hesitate but I opened the door with a smile on my face greeting my brother. As usual my clingy brother would hug me tightly, scream out my name and say how much he misses me.
Nii-chan was greeted by Usagi-san annd we went into the living room. Usagi-san started small chats with Nii-chan to put him in a good mood. I was preparing the dinner table and noticed Usagi-san signaling me. Oh my god! Its time to tell him. Be strong dear self!
"So Misaki. I want to hear from you. I know you are paying Akihiko rent but I am just thinking all these while, why not trying to live alone? You can really start to find a new love life. You cant stay a bachelor forever and besides its time for you to be totally independent."
"Well, nii-chan you see about that...I umm- I really want to stay here. Because I want to be with Usagi-san!" I said it. Nii-chans eyes widen.
"Are you that afraid to live alone? I know you cherish your friendship but you are a guy and you need to learn your responsibilities rather than just depending on Akihiko."
Usagi-san and Nii-chan argued a little on how I am not a burden to Usagi-san but nii-chan disagrees. Usagi-san was waiting for me to tell nii-chan. But I just couldnt. I cant brng myself to say it. Then Usagi-san came clear about it.
"You see Takahiro, I am in love with Misaki." Usagi-san said and nii-chan was staring blankly at us.
"I understand your friendship is strong but-" Nii-chan's words got cut off.
"We have been dating each other for more than 6 years already. I love Misaki. He is my everything and I am asking not only that for you to accept our relationship, but also I still want to live with Misaki. I do not wish to part from. So please. Dont ask him to leave this house. I love him." Usagi-san's words were like silent bombs. It impacted all of us on the inside but left us speechless.
I hated myself for not saying anything after seeing my brothers face, still looking blank as if he was trying to register everything in his head. I panicked even more when nii-chan said "You- what?"
Nii-chan.