Book based. This is my take on what happened before Esmeralda went to meet up with Phoebus at La Falourdel's. It's supposed to be humorous.

After leaving the Gondelaurier household, Esme goes to The Court of Miracles to seek out some advice on sex. Isabeau gives her advice. Esme asks Gringoire to help her, but things don't go as planned.

As always reviews are greatly accepted, flames not so much.

The moment she had left the Gondelaurier household, Esmeralda dashed past a befuddled Gringoire and straight to The Court of Miracles. Once there, she sat for some moments contemplating how she would approach a small group of girls; some were older than her and others younger. She recognized one or two of the girls however the others rarely looked upon her favorably. They often scrutinized her and chastised her for her virtue. She barely even knew how to ask them about the matter at hand!

"Isabeau?"

Esmeralda's meek voice broke into the conversation. Three of the girls gave her haughty looks, the other three gazed at her with intrigue.

"She deigns to speak to us? Aren't you afraid that your little amulet will lose its powers if you have anything to do with us?"

One girl mocked her, but Isabeau gave the girl a scathing look and then turned to Esmeralda. She noticed that Esmeralda's head was lowered and that she was biting her lip out of frustration. Isabeau decided that whatever it was that needed to be addressed was better talked about away from the others. Placing a protective arm around Esmeralda, Isabeau led her to a table that was situated out of the way and appeared to be semi-private.

"What is it Esmeralda?"

Isabeau's voice was full of concern, sympathy and interest.

"I…You see there's…Um…"

Isabeau saw the obvious embarrassment in Esmeralda's actions and decided to take the lead in the conversation.

"Is this about your husband?"

"No."

Esmeralda shook her head in a negative fashion.

"Does this have to do with a man then?"

Esmeralda blushed hotly and gave a shy nod along with an even shier "yes."

"He wants to see me tonight. I have been dreaming for months about this day!"

Esmeralda's voice beamed with hope and naivety.

"And you want to know what this man expects?"

For some reason Isabeau was feeling quite awkward about this entire conversation.

"Yes. I know that he loves me! But how do men and women express that love?"

Isabeau could feel her head start to ache. There was nothing more annoying than a virgin who knew absolutely nothing about sex! She placed her forehead in her hand and let loose an audible groan. She wanted to give the speech she normally gave girls in Esmeralda's situation, but there was something oddly sincere in her hope that this man loved her. There would be no words of "Listen, he doesn't love you. I don't care what he said, he's just trying to get you to fuck him." This would require more finesse.

"It is good that you love him and that he feels the same for you."

Isabeau was tentative with these words, as she knew what the man wanted from Esmeralda.

By now, Gringoire had made it back to The Court as well and was looking for his wife. He found her, sitting with Isabeau.

"Odd, she rarely speaks to that girl."

He moved in closer to hear their conversation, but not close enough to be recognized by either of them.

"Listen to me Esmeralda. This man will take you to some room. If you are lucky, he will be gentle about it…"

Gringoire's eyes popped wide open at hearing this.

"The man will undress you and he too will undress-"

"But why?"

"If you want my help you will need to listen."

Esmeralda nodded, but still had more questions.

"Isabeau, what if he doesn't like how I look when I am undressed?"

Gringoire sniggered, remembering a time when he had accidentally caught sight of his wife's nude form.

"If he doesn't enjoy her naked body, I certainly would like to."

A bar wench had walked by and offered him a drink, which gratefully took.

"If that happens, then he has been with men too long."

This remark garnered Isabeau a few giggles.

"The man will have you lie down on the bed and then he'll lie down on top of you."

"What if he's too heavy?"

Isabeau saw the slight worry in Esmeralda's eyes, sighed and answered the question.

"Trust me his weight will be the furthest thing from your mind!"

At hearing these words, Gringoire nearly spouted the mead through his nose.

"The man will then push his penis into your vagina and that's basically all that happens."

Esmeralda gave her a confused look.

"You know the opening between your legs?"

Esmeralda nodded, affirmatively.

"Men have fleshy rods, which stick out when they see a woman they love. That is called a penis."

"Oh!"

Esmeralda exclaimed, blushing.

"The man will push his penis into your vagina."

Isabeau stated a second time, just as matter of fact as the first time she said it.

"Um…How big is a penis?"

Esmeralda was still blushing.

By now Gringoire was doubling over with silent laughter.

Isabeau snorted sarcastically and was about to utter a lewd remark, but then remembered who she was speaking to. Esmeralda would not understand the remark, "most are miniscule, some are tiny, but most are small. There are a few that are average and rarely, you find a big one." Instead she took a moment to form a suitable answer.

"This is your first time, so he will feel big. And since you love him and he loves you, it will feel good no matter what his size."

That seemed appropriate.

"Why does a man have to place his penis inside me? Can he and I not just kiss and hold each other? Will it hurt?"

Isabeau now wished that Esmeralda had gone to her husband for this advice. Not only could she have gotten the advice, but maybe even some practice.

"It has to happen that way. He may kiss and hold you as well, but he will mainly want to be inside you. It will hurt the first time, but if you relax the pain will be minimal and after a while you will find it enjoyable. The pain goes away with practice."

The last part she let slip by accident, but Gringoire had heard it and began wondering if his wife would suddenly go looking for him and ask him to practice with her.

"What if he's too big and doesn't fit?"

Again Isabeau had to stop herself from making another lewd remark. "Trust me, if he doesn't fit it won't be because he's too big." The usual remark she would make when talking to a first timer.

"You need to relax during the act. Spread your legs and think about how much you love him."

Esmeralda nodded, letting Isabeau know that she understood.

"Do you have any further questions?"

"Yes, one. How do I practice?"

At hearing this Gringoire began choking on his mead. He coughed and sputtered, which caught the two girls' attention.

"Perhaps your husband can help you."

Isabeau recognized Gringoire and decided to embarrass him, before whispering something into Esmeralda's ear.

"Lie on a bed with your legs spread, then use your index finger and imagine it is your lover's penis. It will help you find out how you like to be touched. Once you get used to the one finger, insert your middle finger along with it."

Esmeralda blushed again, but smiled and thanked Isabeau for her time. She then turned to Gringoire and looked him over from head to foot, before wordlessly leading him off to their home.

"Gringoire, you are my husband…"

For a moment he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had been hopeful since their wedding night, though he had been rejected on at least a weekly basis since then. And now she was about to ask him…

"I don't know what to do! Phoebus has asked me to meet him tonight…"

And once again his hopes were dashed.

"I want to know what one looks like before I meet with him tonight."

"What?"

Gringoire had not been listening. He had heard her musings about Phoebus whisking her away a thousand times before and had learned to ignore them.

"I have never seen a penis before."

Gringoire's face turned bright red from indignation, then pale from the fact that she had just asked him to show her his manhood. He grinned, briefly and in hopes that the result would be her forgetting to see Phoebus and instead, enjoying a long night of vigorous lovemaking with him.

"Well, we are man and wife…"

His voice took on a higher octave, showing his nervousness. But nonetheless he reached for the strings which held up his hosiery. Within a few seconds his hose hung around his ankles.

At first Esmeralda blushed, turned away and covered her eyes.

"OH!"

Her voice quivered as she silently imagined how something that size would fit into her opening.

"I hope Phoebus will not be so big! I still do not see how his penis will fit inside me!"

Gringoire felt triumphant at her first remark, but then rolled his eyes and in his head retorted…

"Do not worry, he is probably MUCH smaller my dear."

"Pierre, will you show me how it is supposed to fit? Isabeau told me how to practice on myself, but I do not see how my two fingers and a penis are the same size."

She whined and gave him her characteristic pout.

"I…well that is…We need a bed."

He was uncertain of whether or not he could actually go through with what she was asking of him; to use him just so that she could compare him to Phoebus. Yet, this would be her first time and he knew he would be better than the captain could ever hope to be. He pulled up his hosiery and followed her into the bed room.

"Esmeralda I think there were a few things Isabeau forgot to tell you."

He cleared his throat as she sat down on the bed, beside him and began to release the ties that held her skirt up. Alarmed at the fact that Isabeau had not told her something she quickly halted and gave her husband a frightened, questioning look. Pierre cleared his throat and began to speak in uneasy tones.

"When a woman sees the man she loves her…her vagina is supposed to become very…wet, which makes it much easy for her lover to enter her…"

He cleared his throat again.

"Are you…what I mean to say is…?

She knew what he was trying to ask her and gave him his answer before he could finish the question.

"I have been thinking about him all day…I do not know! I feel an odd sensation…"

Gringoire scratched the back of his neck.

"What exactly have you been thinking about?"

"Oh! Phoebus! His arms around me, holding me close, his lips on mine and his hands placed here."

She had grabbed her husband's hands and placed them on her chest. Gringoire could feel her nipples through her thin blouse; they were hard and the sensation made him harden.

"Then you are feeling what you should be feeling…"

He at last found the nerve to croak out the nearly incoherent sentence. He removed his hands slowly and she went back to untying her skirt.

"What does it feel like?"

Esmeralda let her skirt fall to the ground and saw the astonished look in her husband's eyes.

"Pierre! Can I feel your penis?"

Gringoire's mouth dropped open, as he attempted to speak. After opening and closing his mouth several times and realizing that no words were coming forth he nodded and squeaked out a "yes." The next thing he knew, his wife's hand was rubbing the tip of his cock which made him feel above all else, uneasy.

"Is it supposed to leak like that?"

She questioned, regarding the dot of pre-cum seeping from his manhood.

"Yes."

For a brief moment he was unsure of how to react to her ministrations. She had been like a younger sister to him, but she was not his sister; she was his wife and this was what a man and wife were supposed to do together. And then of course this was all in the name of education. He was still hopeful that she would enjoy him and stay.

"Oh! Esmeralda!"

He released a breathy sigh and threw his head back, as she first used her flat hand and the curled her fingers around him to explore his shaft.

"Should I do this with Phoebus?"

The question broke his reverie. He did not want to answer the question, but instead opted for an answer that would satisfy them both.

"No. My sweet, you should only do that with your husband."

"Then what should I do? I want him to know that I love him. How would you want a woman to show you that she loves you?"

"First I would want her to…"

"Will you be quiet for once? All you ever do is talk. Show me what I should do!"

Gringoire sat on the edge of the bed for a moment. He quickly pulled up his hose, laced them, turned and walked out of the room.

She had asked him to show her what she should do with the captain and he had given her his answer.

Hope you all enjoyed it…now REVIEW!

Honestly, there aren't any Esme/Gringoire fics, so I just wanted to do one. But I also wanted to keep them both in character (for the most part) and I wanted it to be humorous.