Blonde, Go Figure

by Erin Griffin

Fandom: Greys Anatomy/Coyote Ugly crossover

Pairing: Erika Hahn/Lil, squint and you'll see Rachel/Cammie

Summary: Erika decides to walk into a world she never could be apart of, and is finally able to let go of a heartache after a couple of years.

Disclaimer: I don't own Greys Anatomy or Coyote Ugly. I just want their characters to have some lovin'.

AN: I don't remember where I got the idea to get these two together, but it wouldn't let me go and now I ship them too hard. Also, I don't know a lot of Grey's story lines, as I don't watch the show past season one disc four, so I am just guessing here.

Coyote Ugly was loud, rude, and crazy. It was exactly as the owner of the bar wanted it, Erika was certain. She could hear the music almost three blocks away, even over the music of two clubs she had passed on that four block strip. Erika handn't planned to go inside Coyote Ugly. She hadn't even planned to walk home at that time of night, but something just wouldn't let her go. She shouldn't have checked her email. She heard about what had happened to some of the people she had once worked with at Seattle grace, but this bit of news was just too much for Erika's heart to bare.

The music drowned out her thoughts, and the beat thumped through her to the point where she couldn't feel her pounding heart anymore, and the surgeon didn't know until she reached the swelling crowd just how much she needed that. Erika was surprised, once she'd finally made her way somewhat inside, to find that there was no entrance fee, but after seeing the young women on the bar and the cash flowing from all sexes towards what could only be described as a cattle auction, Erika could see why. Though she saw many people her age and even older, she didn't beel like she belonged there. It was too late but the time she realized this, though. Bodies pressed against her at all sides, urging her forward towards the bar. In an attempt to stall some, as she wasn't sure where to begin in ordering, Erika made her way to the sides of the crowd to claim a peice to the wall to lean on, seeing as there were only ten or so actual places to sit and of course they were all filled.

Erika listened to the sounds - and there were many! - of this strange and rowdy bar. She couldn't say whether even in college if she would have gone somewhere like this. Twice, the surgeon had to brace herself for a squirt of water at the shouts of, "HELL NO H2O!" Luckily she was too far back or too far to the sides for the dark young woman at the bar to get her with the hose.

"Hey Lady, this ain't a free parking zone. now, i haven't seen you here before, so I'm issuing a warning: find something to occupy your hands or I'll have Lou come over and kick you out."

Erika looked to th woman who spoke to her. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. there are other things in life to regret. Somthing i'm sure you're well aware of. So what can I getcha?"

"What do you reccomend?"

The woman looked Erika over for a moment. "I think I know just what you need." Though the woman had turned away from her and started walking towards the bar, Erika was sure that she was expected to follow. There was only room at the bar by then because the brunette had grabbed a handsy frat boy by the ear and forced him to the side. "I dont have the budget to give you paid vacation time, so cool it wouldja?" the brunette took a look at Erika, but mobed out of the way.

The blonde bartender shouted a couple of things to the girls on the bar before she began mixing ingredients. Erika lost track ater the third one, the bartender's hands working wih the same accuracy and twice the speed of any routine surgery. Erika was fascinated. A moment later, an unidentified drink was placed before her. "thank you!" Erika called. She reached for her purse, but the bartender waved her off.

"First drink towards whatever you're forgettin's on me. If I can get you anything else or a refill let me know. M'name's Lil."

"Erika," the surgeon replied. She lifted her drink in thanks and as a dismissal and then Erika tried to get her peice of the wall back. The first taste of the concoction Lil had giv en her was good. It reminded her of the drinks she would get in college. It surprised her though, since her short time at the bar told her that this sort of drink wasn't served there.

The music changed: the brunette had been introduced as Rachel, 'The New York Bitch', and then there was Cammie, 'The Russian tease. The two began to dance together in a way that told Erika that they had been moving together on and off the bar for quite some time. The whole thing was provocotive, but Erika could only stare through them. She felt the pain in her heart dull a little bit mor with each sip of her drink, and she hasn't noticed that it was almost gone until Lil was standing before her with another one. "Courtisy of the hot blonde at the bar," she said. Knowing that the only other blonde bartender at the bar was currently on top of it, Erika smiled weakly.

"Thank you," she said. "I don 't know if I could drink another full one, though." Lil tipped it and drank about half of it in one gulp.

"There," she said with a grin. Erika shrugged in a 'when in Rome' kind of way, and copied the movement. She regretted it immediately, but it had gotten a chuckle out of her companion.

Erika stared at the bar for a second and sighed. "I suppose I should go," she said, even though she was sure lil could provide and interesting distraction.

"I'll walk you," Lil offered, almsot as if to read the surgeon's mind. She turned to the bar and waved to the girl with light brown wavy hair who tended the bar whole the song continued to play. " 'Ey Maui! tell Rach 'n Cammie that I'll be back!"

"Wha-?" the girl seemed to ask, though it was drowned by the crowd. The woman went back to taking money and pouring drinks, as she was the only one there at the moment to do so.

"Right back," Lil said, tapping Erika's arm. She grabbed both glasses and went to the other bartender.. When she spoke with her and waved in Erika's direction, the surgeon felt a little strange, as the song had ended now and even Rachel and Cammie looked at her from their spots on the bar. Lil did come back, her bartenders staring after her. "Ready now," she announced.

"Eh- Alright. Thanks." Erika followed after the blonde, since the crowd parted for her. The regulars all seemed to have some sort of semi-insulting greeting for her, which Lil shot back with zings of her own. She left more than one person making a tick mark in the air in her wake. Once the two of them made it outside, Erika felt Lil's hand on her shoulder, which stopped her movement.

"Look, uh... I think you need a slice of the best apple pie this side of... the street." Lil said. Erika's eyebrow rose, and Lil chuckled. "You game?" she asked.

"Really?" Erika found herself asking, though what she was reall asking after was something different.

"Really 'it's the best apple pie' or really 'it's on this side of the street'?" Lil asked.

"Really 'it's the best apple pie'?" Erika decided.

"On this side of the street," Lil replied. "Come on. we can splurge and top it with icecream," the bar owner offered.

Seeing as she had nowhere else to go but home and Lil really was unexpected but welcomed company, Erika nodded. "Okay, I'm game."

"Excellent. Ramone's is a dive, but the foods good," the bartender promised. Within two blocks, the two women made it inside the diner.

"If it ain't the devil herself who stopped inside my restaurant!' the large man inside said right away. "To what do I owe the honor?" The man Erika assumed to be Ramone looked at her now. "This your new friend, Lil?"

"For now at least," Lil said easily. Ramone chuckled, which made Erika wonder just how many other such friends Lil's had over the years. "I was just tellin' Erika that you've got the best apple pie this side-a the street."

Ramone let out a howl of laughter now. "Well, I never heard any complaints. Is that on the menu for tonight?"

"And one coffee," Lil added.

"You got it."

Erika was left to follow Lil to a booth with the seats both taped up, though the way it was done suggested it was more as an artform that to cover up any rips in them. Lil slipped into one side easily and Erika sat facing away from the diner's windows. "You know him pretty well," Erika said as she settled her feet under the table, making sure she didn't accidentally kick the bartender across from her.

"Ramone's my buddy. He was close to shuttin' this place down before Coyote Ugly opened up. He feels like he owes me or something, but I never say no to free food. Even if I refuse to admit that I'm getting to that age where meat flavored grease doesn't agree with me anymore."

"As a doctor, I want to cringe so badly," Erika admitted with slight disgust on her face. Lil let out a laugh, but then sobered.

"So a doctor. I would have guessed social worker. I mean, I can read people pretty well, but I'm not psychic."

Ramone came by with two small plaes balanced on his forearm, and a small bowl of individually wrapped coffee creamers in that same hand. In his other, the large man held a cup of steaming coffee. When he set it down, he seemed unsure who it went to, so he left it in the middle of the table between them. Lil used her index and middle fingers to push the mug over to Erika. This surprised the surgeon somewhat, but she looked to Ramone and smiled at him in thanks. "Two slices of pie and a cup of coffee. Enjoy ladies," he said. He tipped an imaginary hat and went back to the counter. Erika looked down at the pie before her. it was a large slice, once she knew she right away she wouldn't be able to finish. Lil's slice was even bigger than her own, and while the surgeon had a nice sized scoop of icecream on top. Lil's slice had two chocolate scoops with chocolate sprinkles.

Lil looked as if her dessert was a peice of art. "If he wasn't married with three boys, I'd propose," she declared. "It wouldn't even be about the money as long as he rubbed my feet and supplied the pie. He makes these himself you know." Erika's eyebrow rose. It was hard to think of the large man as a baker. Someone at the grill, perhaps, but not this one making pies. Erika watched as Lil took a bite from her pie. The bartender's eyes rolled backwards as she leaned against the back of her seat. "Forget marriage," she decided, "I'd just do him for the recipe."

Erika couldn't help herself. She let out a laugh, though it had to fight its way through all of the sorrow, it it ended up sounding somewhat choked. "Oh man," she said through her laughter. She took one of the creamers and added it to the mug of coffee. She then added two packets of sugar before spending too much time stirring. Part of her wasn't even sure if she wanted to drink it, but she liked keeping her hands busy.

"Y'know, I will be too busy eatin' to talk, but my ears still work. While the pie's still here, why don't you tell me about why you came into my bar tonight."

Erika watched Lil eat away at the icecream for a second, and then she began to speak. She told the bar owner about Seattle Grace, about Callie Torres and her stupid 'glasses' thing. "I've been here 'bout nineteen months now, and I heard she's got someone else.. Younger. Still blonde, go figure." she said bitterly. "I came out late in life, convinced that my interest in the female form was for medical reasons as a surgeon, or that any bond with women was just a deep friendship. I was just at that point where I was dating when I got the news." Erika picked at her pie, before she began to eat it. I really was some good pie, but she concentrated on the ice cream. She knew that should she decided to take it home, the pie itself would at least survive the trip.

Seeing that Erika was ocupied with the dessert, Lil thought for a moment before she spoke. "I don't know about the whole gay or straight or bi or lesbian or whatever. It's not an issue with me. you touch who you wanna touch- with concent- and you love who you wanna love. I know it's a matter of some people's entire lives and I get that, but I don't know enough to really have a lot to say. All i know is what I see in my bar. I've been through Rachel's gay panic when Cammie's charm were often turned in her direction. I remember her whole coming out process whereas Cammie was just having fun at the time. It's fortunate in this case that Cammie was falling in love with Rachel by the time Jersey - a coyote who's gone now- was with us. Anyway, even then they almost couldn't work. Rachel wasn't sure who she was or what she wanted, and we all just let her figure it out on her own with the knowledge that whoever that might be, we'ed all still care for her. Be her violent or a bitch or gay- who cares? She was still Rachel.

"It wasn't until Rachel felt she could go to a bookstore and get something about lesbians or one of their romance novels that she could really be with anyone. I'm wonderin' if it's the same with you. Would it really have worked between you- what with you just coming out that the positions you both held at the hospital?"

Erika was quiet as she thought about this. By now she'd finished the ice cream and most of the mug of coffee. "Well, there's no way to know now, huh?" the surgeon asked.

"No. I guess not. It appears this chick has moved on, and you were as well. Continue to date- Hell, have a fling or several. Preferrably with a certain blonde bar owner." When Erika looked up at Lil in surprise, she was met with a shrug. "You've got the sad eyes thing goin' for ya," she said. "My point is, you need to find your rainbow roots before you can work your magic on someone who deserves you. I'm sorry it wasn't her, I really am. She seemed like under different circumstances, she culd have been the love of your life. But the thing is, it was HER loss, not yours." Erika was stunned into silence, and Lil remained quiet to let it sink in, as well as to finish off her pie.

When, about five minutes later, Erika stopped eating and was then messing with the crumbs on her plate, Ramone came by with a small box. "Thank you," the surgeon said softly.

"So, what'd ya think?" the man asked.

"Seein' as this is the only pie I've had in this neighborhood, I can't disprove it, but this is the best pie I have had in quite some time. Thank you," Erika said again.

"I like her," Ramone said to Lil.

"Yeah. So how much do I owe you?" the bar owner asked.

Ramone made a sound, what Erika would call a deep snort. "Don't insult me, Lil."

Lil looked to Erika. "Do I leave a tip, or- Hey, what it the tipping rule anyway-?"

"Get outta here!" Ramone called over his shoulder as he went to refill a caraf of coffee. "Your money's no good here, and you know it."

Lil grinned, then she looked back to Erika, who was transferring her pie from the plate to the box. "You ready to go?"

"Yes."

The two women made it out into the early morning air. It was really cool out now, almost to the point of misty breath. Erika would soon experience her second Halloween in New York. Their walk was brisk as reasult, as Lil hadn't brought a jacket with her, and the white T-Shirt exposed both her stomache as well as the gooseflesh on her arms around the tattoos. When they made it back to Erika's condo, she wondered if she should have said her goodbyes outside. Instead, the two of them walked up the stairs in silence. Lil knew where Erika lived now. Not that she thought the younger woman would do anything with this information. "I want to thank you for tonight. You didn't know me and yet you went out of your way to be nice to me." There was a pause. Erika wasn't sure she wanted for the night to end. "Do you...?"

"Not tonight," Lil said. There was a soft, almost knowing smile on her lips before she took a step forward. The kiss was soft and Erika felt that with the slightest pressure there would have been heat. Maybe that was why she backed away. There was another pause. "As I said before, I'm pretty much married to that bar, so you know where to find me. You know, whenever." Lil said. Erika nodded. "Speaking of, i gotta get back before it burns down or something. You try 'n' sleep." With that, Lil backed up a couple of steps before she turned and walked back to wards the stairs with her hands in her pockets.

"Thank you," Erika said again. She realized that it seemed to be her catchphrase of the night, but she really was grateful to Lil and Ramone. There was no indication that Lil heard her, so after the footsteps were no longer heard, Erika unlocked her door. she was surprised to find that her home phone had a messege on it. Only a couple of people knew that number, and they only used it if they couldn't get her on her cellphone. She checked the mobile device and sure enough, she had messeges from them there. she also had a couple of texts from coworkers asking after her as well as another text from a date she had a few weeks back. Her date also had a hectic lifestyle, and it was hard for them to meet up again due to conflicting scheduals. Erika decided that she'd get up in five hours to answer the messeges in the morning light. She then went to shower and change into night clothes, getting into bed with her mind on a certain bar owner. "Blonde, go figure."