Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa (sadly) I am just some random person who happens to be hooked to the manga

Warning: Shounen-ai! It's a KuroFai fanfic, what did you expect? XD Also I have called Mokona a girl because that's what I think she is, and hopefully im right, but if I'm not please don't hesitate to tell me!

A/N: YAY! first fic! this is a special moment! Anyways at the bottom of the chapter there's a guide to the honorifics (yes im a boring person!) so PLEASE look it over! R&R please!

Prologue

He liked the dark, it was like a cloak. It muffled his crying, covered it. Comforted him, no one could possibly hear him here, like this. Outside it was night, the moon throwing distorted shadows over random objects. Leaning against the wall, in his corner, he could see the whole room. He listened hard and watched the patch of light coming from underneath his door. He had told them that he wanted to go to bed early, a sorry excuse considering he hadn't been acting quite himself all day. But while he was behind his smile no one suspected a thing. He lowered his head to his knees.

Ashura-ou...

How had he hurt him so?

Chapter 1

Kurogane looked absently around the room. There was someone missing...the sake was making his mind a little fuzzy. He concentrated, counting his surrounding companions. Syaoran, Sakura,Manjuu bun... He was sure there was one missing. But who was it? Ah, he's missing...

"Oi! Syaoran, where's Fai?"

"Fai-san? Ummm...I believe he went to bed early, said something about resting up for the search. Didn't quite seem himself, but maybe it was just exhaustion." Syaoran shrugged, getting up from the table.

"We better be getting to bed soon, Sakura-hime" he said, turning to the princess. She got up with his help, mumbling something like 'it is late'.Glancing back at Kurogane they said their good nights and left down the corridor.

Mokona attempted to latch onto Kurogane but was quick to change her mind after receiving a rather large bump on her head. She retreated quickly after Sakura and Syaorancheeringsomething that sounded like "Kuro-pin's mean!"

Kurogane slowly pushed back from the dining table. To be honest he was a little worried about Fai, he didn't seem himself lately. His fake mask seemed to be falling slightly, faltering. Something was definitely bothering him. Well...im sure he wouldn't mind me checking on him...he's probably asleep anyway...

Fai curled tighter into his corner. Tears rolled freely off his cheeks. He shuddered some but did not make a single sound. Suddenly the light coming from beneath the door was blocked. Fai, of course didn't see through his tears however he did hear the door creak open.

Kurogane looked blankly at the room then to his companion curled in the corner, head on him knees, shuddering slightly. The look on Kurogane's face could only be described as an absolute shock. Fai...crying! this is incredulous... Kurogane stepped hesitantlyover to his friend. What's wrong, Fai?

"Fai..."

"I-I'm alright...Kurogane...please just leave..."

Fai didn't want him here, to see him like this. He didn't want Kurogane to think of him as some cry baby. Yet...yet he needed him here...he needed someone to comfort him. But he was sure Kurogane would hate to have a friend who was so...weak and defenseless. A friend who cried about his past even though it was a long time ago.

Kurogane stood for a moment. He wanted to comfort Fai...but if Fai said he was alright then maybe he should just leave him alone. Emotions weren't exactly Kurogane's best subject, and something he did not want to make a mistake in. But Fai was crying...he couldn't just leave him there, that would be the worst thing he could do; just walk out and pretend nothing was wrong. What kind of a friend would just leave Fai to sit there and sob all by himself. The sight hurt him...of Fai lying here, hurt on the ground...

Kurogane straightened slightly and walked right up to Fai, who shied away at his presence. He reached out slightly, touching Fai's shoulder. Fai tensed when he felt Kurogane's hand touch his shoulder, flinching slightly. Feeling his friend tighten, Kurogane pushed himself to crouch down next to him. He tried, awkwardly, to embrace Fai, which was quite difficult, considering Fai was right up against the wall. Im gunna make you stop crying if it kills me, alright?

Fai kept his face downcast. He couldn't protest at Kurogane's movements, after all he was very comforting. However Fai couldn't resist an involuntary flinch as he felt his comrades touch. He stilled slightly, trying rein in the urge to cry that had overcome him. He didn't want Kurogane to see him crying, ever.

"Fai...Fai, listen..listen, I'm here, alright? I...I don't want to see you crying like this...all alone, ok? And...I don't want to see you bottle yourself up like this...I don't want you to hurt Fai..."

Fai collapsed into Kurogane's embrace at these words. Kurogane, shocked slightly as his friend lent against his chest, quickly relaxed and placed his arms on Fai's back, feeling his friend shake underneath his fingertips. He moved from his crouching position to simply sitting on the hard wood floor.

"He loved me...he did, he told me so everyday...I loved him too...you know that?...I loved him right back...no matter what he did I forgave him...I was so stupid...I was a fool to think it was all real..."

Fai mumbled into Kurogane's chest, gripping tightly at Kurogane's shirt. Tears flooded out of his eyes, wetting his comrade's clothes. His knuckles were white from gripping, holding on as if his life depended on it. He lifted his head, letting his blue, teary eyes meet with the crimson ones that belonged to the ninja.

"Should I have believed him?...He talked like he loved me...he smiled like he loved me...he even kissed me like he loved me...but it wasn't true was it?...was it Kurogane?"

Kurogane looked mildly surprised as his friend met his gaze. He wasn't quite getting what Fai was implying, but the pain that flashed in his friends stormy eyes made him want to tear this person to absolute pieces. What does it matter if it makes him weaker, as long as he could make this hurt fall from his friends eyes. He couldn't...wouldn't put a label on what Fai made him feel... Maybe he'd focus on it later, when Fai seemed more like the Fai he knew. He spent some time thinking up an answer, considering he didn't know who this bastard was in the first place.

" Fai...-"

"He didn't did he...he lied...he...he used me...but, he saved me didn't he?...when everyone hated me he saved me...it doesn't make sense..."

Fai shook his head and pushed his face back into Kurogane's chest. His breath became harsh and ragged with sobs which eventually subsided into slower more paced breaths. He pushed himself further into the warmth, pulling tight on his friends shirt. Words formed in his mind...he needed to apologize for his behavior, his abrupt showing of weakness. But he didn't want to leave this moment...

"G-gomenasai, Kurogane...I don't want to bother you...I...I think I'm alright now" Fai whispered into Kurogane, his voice a little hoarse from crying.

Kurogane smiled slightly, his red eyes looking down at his slight friend curled up against him. And yet he apologizes for being himself, he is really an idiot...

"No need to apologize for tears..." I don't mind...Anyway, its that bastard's fault, who ever he is...

Fai opened his eyes, seeing only the fabric of Kurogane's shirt. A small look of surprise crossed his hidden face. New tears started to well up in his blue eyes. He knew there was no need to say what he wanted, he was sure his friend would be able to sense it. Thank you...Fai didn't even seem to notice that exhaustion had taken over him.

End Chapter 1

A/N AHHHH! yay! i think that went pretty well! anyone who is not familiar with the term gomenasai it means 'i'm sorry' (yes,i know Tsubasa isn't set in japan but i LOVE using japanese terms!) Heres thatlist of honorifics i told you about!

HONORIFICS

-san: equivalent to Mr.,Mrs., Miss or Ms. All purpose honorific and used when politeness is required

-chan: Used to express endearment, usually towards girls. Can be used for little boys, pets and even lovers. It gives a sense of childish cuteness.

-rin,-tan,-myu, -pin,-pii etc: The honorifics Fai usually uses to address Kurogane are usually used amongst highschool girls to make their names sound cute.

-ou: equivalent to her or his magasty. Addressing a king or queen.

-hime: equivalent to her or his highness. Addressing a prince or princess

-blank: The lack of honorifics means the speaker has permission to address the person in a very intimate way. Usually only family, spouses and close friends have this permission. But when the intimacy is not earned it can also be very insulting.