It happened a few years ago when i went to a cabin in the woods with my friends but i did not know it would be the last time i'd see them. After getting out and going back to civilization i just thought i imagined the whole thing so i continued with my life working at the S-Mart, sho smart shop S-Mart! Then i met someone and we went up to the same cabin that i did with my friends thinking that none of the other stuff ever happened but it did and it would again. She was attacked by a thing through her window and became a deadite as i would soon find out their called and she was a real ugly one to, she tried to kill me like the others but i would not stand it so i killed her first. Later getting my hand infected with darkness i cut it off before it could spread and i had a fight with it...which i lost, there i said it happy now! Using a chainsaw in the shed near by is how i cut it off then i made it my new hand so i could protect the earth from evil! Ok ok ok i put it on to look cool and kill of my enemies before they could me. Then using my highly intelligent brain i figured out a text to send them away!, ok, i stumbled over it and got sucked in myself. Ending up in a ancient mystical medival world i seemed screwed when i beat their punishment and showed them how bad i was they let me go then i was to get home, but i found out i had to get the Ecronomican again but first say clato verata necto...i couldn't have said every silabil but i got i good enough. But thats what i thought, i made an evil me...by accident! He then tried to kill King Arthur and i's army but we fought back it seemed hopeless but the Henry helped out and we beat the deadites army. On my way home i also had to say clato verata necto but...umm i screwed up again as you'll soon know. Ok i went back to my job at S-Mart and then after telling my story they thought i was crazy till the power went out and a deadite appeared i killed it thinking fast, but its my fault their back in our world...its time to fix it.
I drove off towards the cabin again i came with my own gun this time and i had to end this here and now before any one could get seriously hurt. Getting out after crossing the bridge i went over to the trunk slowly knocking it open i yanked out the shot gun and loaded it and took some shells with me. Walking to the front of the cabin i searched for the keys that are usually on top of the door but were not there for i forgot that they were sucked into the portal with me those few years back. As Ash stood back he cocked the shot gun and pulled it back releasing the trigger it shot a hole into the door's lock almost ripping the door off it's hinges. Slowly opening the dorr he walked in dust filled the air taking away the once fresh smelling spring forest air and turning it to decay. Ash looked around the room it was dark except for only some light shinning in from the cracks between the boards on the walls, the further he looked for the Ecronomican the less time he had till the deadites came out at night. Still clenching his shot-gun he got up out of a chair and decided to go back because he could not find the Ecronomican in the cellar,the living room, or any of the main rooms. Where ever the book was it was not there.
On the drive back home he finished crossing the bridge and then all of a sudden a deadites came flying out at his car screming histerically, Ash swerved the car trying to knock it off but it would not let go of the hood. As he decided that his windsheild was no longer important he lifted his shot gun to it and said "eat led ugly" the it fired, glass flew around getting stuck in the deadites body as it flew under his car popping his tires. "Shit you fucking ugly bastard!, why'd you have to go and pop my tires!?, HUH!?" he yelled as he kicked the deadites body out from under the car tires onto the road. Ash while turning away the deadites eyes opened even though it was shot ran over and kicked it was still alive, as it got up the evil seemed to fill the air because Ash realized it was alive and turned around holding the shot-gun and fired it as blood flew out the back of its skull and dripped down onto the leaves under it as it fell an eerie snap was heared as it finally died as its body hit the ground. Ash was yet to be sure it was dead for many times before they have looked dead but have gotten up and attacked him. He kicked it a few more times then while walking to get out of the woods he came across a old church. "Hmm...i should see if they have a phone i could use" Ash said as he walked up the churches moldy stairs i felt like he had been there before but he did not remember it from any time before now. He got to the door and placed his metal right hand on the handle it yanked the door open. A frankly descusting smell filled the churches rooms like a garbage dump or a cemetary. He walked down a corridor to the main part of the church "hello!..." Ash called as his own voice rattled the boards making dust fall on him as he dusted himself. Apparently no one was there and by the looks of it no one had been there for a long time, "great...just great, im stuck in the capitol of evil" Ash yelled as he kicked a pew. As more dust fell Ashe heard scratching on the boards as if a little animal was there it followed by a meow, Ash walked over to the boads and said "hey kitty, you stuck?" he then ripped off the boards and waited for the kitty. Then the boards smacked open even more around the room as if something was ripping the boards open around the room, Ash followed it standing still only turning till it stopped. "Umm...nice kitty?" Ash slowly said as he walked backwards as he was pulled by something against the wall. Then these long boney like arms ripped through the churches rotten moldy boards and grabbed him and pulled him against the wall, as it was choking him he loaded his shot-gun but being to quick he dropped the shells, thinking of the next best thing he started up his chainsaw and lifted it backwards. As blood flew out from behind him a eerie scream sounded out through the church as the arms released and went back into the boards it was followed by a thump of its dead body landing on the boards behind the wall. Ash sighed in relief after it was dead and he took a deep breath as he picked up the shells of the floor he heard a cracking noise that grabbed all his attention, he looked around in confusion then all of a sudden the floor boards beneath him gave loose as he fell to the basement beneath the church.
"Huh?...what the hell is this now!?" Ash said as he got up from the fall, rubbing his head he looked around then a voice called out "mommy?...mommy where are you?" the voice of a little girl called out from the dark. The little girl walked foward to Ash "have you seen my mommy, Mr?" she asked him in an innocent voice, she wore a pink dress and had the same type bow in her curled blond hair her eyes blue with cuteness. Ash looked at her funny "im not going to fall for this again your a deadite!" Ash stammered as he fired his shot gun, the little girl had a hole blown through her as she fell to the ground, Ash waited for five minutes but she did not get up "oh no, i killed a little girl!, oh my god oh my god!" Ash freaked. Then all of a sudden the little girl got up and started to attack him, "oh you little brat!" Ash yelled as he threw the little girl against the wall and shot her several times "almost had me fooled...heh heh but can't fool me" he laughed. Then he turned and saw a woman standing there as beautiful as an angel who yelled "look over there!" Ash turned and was thrown against the wall "fool!", Ash got up quickly to see the now ugly woman flying at him he swung his left hand then turned on the chainsaw and swung his right, cutting the woman in two. The two halves turned into two deadites "thats just not right..." Ash grinned ash he fried at their heads several times till they were dead,really dead. Ash wiped his fore head as he reloaded his gun and tried to find a way out of the church basement. As he walked around the corner he saw a dorr leading out to the back of the church as he pushed it open he saw about twenty deadites stadning there laughing then they all said with a grin "i'll swallow your soul!" followed by Ash saying "oh shit!", he closed and locked the door. Then Ash noticed an imprint of the Ecronomican in the wall so he touched it then the ground beneath him opened and he fell.
Awaking in a cell by the looks of it Ash was once again confused of where he was what he was doing and what was going on. Ash ran to the bars which were made of what appeared to be lava rock he called out "gaurds! gaurds!???" as a deadites in armor walked by, "yo, shit head!" Ash yelled at the gaurd "you talkin to me!?" "ya you!". As the gaurd came over Ash grabbed him pulled him against the bars then snapped his neck making the head come off. The head which had broken off screamed "im going to get the gaurds" as it used its jaw to hop away Ash stuck his foot out and crushed it into little pieces. Ash then picked up the gaurds spear and began to hit the bars with, after about five minutes he had broken three bars and gotten out. Now he had to find the Ecronomican and destroy it. He snuck around corners of Hell looking for the book. Then apon a rock he saw it but it was next to Satan, Ash slowly walked over picked it up then Satan yelled "you there put that back!!!" Ash looked up "umm...well sir its really a funny story it goes like this...BYE!" Ash laughed as he ran. Running he fell down into a lava pit and died.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Ash screamed as he woke up breathing deeply. His friend looked at him "what's wrong Ashley?" she asked, "how can you be here your dead!...you turned to a deadite and i killed you!". "Ashley i think you need to sit down, you did get quite a bump when you fell down into the cellar" she said as she patted his shoulder. Ash got up "but the Ecronomican, the tape recorder we found in the cellar?" his other friend came over "Ash, we didn't find anything down there besides a radio and a few pornos" Ash was confused. "All those years, a dream i can't believe it..." he said as he looked out the window as he turned he saw all his friends all deadites "believe what ever you want to believe!" as the flew at him "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Ash screamed.
I drove off towards the cabin again i came with my own gun this time and i had to end this here and now before any one could get seriously hurt. Getting out after crossing the bridge i went over to the trunk slowly knocking it open i yanked out the shot gun and loaded it and took some shells with me. Walking to the front of the cabin i searched for the keys that are usually on top of the door but were not there for i forgot that they were sucked into the portal with me those few years back. As Ash stood back he cocked the shot gun and pulled it back releasing the trigger it shot a hole into the door's lock almost ripping the door off it's hinges. Slowly opening the dorr he walked in dust filled the air taking away the once fresh smelling spring forest air and turning it to decay. Ash looked around the room it was dark except for only some light shinning in from the cracks between the boards on the walls, the further he looked for the Ecronomican the less time he had till the deadites came out at night. Still clenching his shot-gun he got up out of a chair and decided to go back because he could not find the Ecronomican in the cellar,the living room, or any of the main rooms. Where ever the book was it was not there.
On the drive back home he finished crossing the bridge and then all of a sudden a deadites came flying out at his car screming histerically, Ash swerved the car trying to knock it off but it would not let go of the hood. As he decided that his windsheild was no longer important he lifted his shot gun to it and said "eat led ugly" the it fired, glass flew around getting stuck in the deadites body as it flew under his car popping his tires. "Shit you fucking ugly bastard!, why'd you have to go and pop my tires!?, HUH!?" he yelled as he kicked the deadites body out from under the car tires onto the road. Ash while turning away the deadites eyes opened even though it was shot ran over and kicked it was still alive, as it got up the evil seemed to fill the air because Ash realized it was alive and turned around holding the shot-gun and fired it as blood flew out the back of its skull and dripped down onto the leaves under it as it fell an eerie snap was heared as it finally died as its body hit the ground. Ash was yet to be sure it was dead for many times before they have looked dead but have gotten up and attacked him. He kicked it a few more times then while walking to get out of the woods he came across a old church. "Hmm...i should see if they have a phone i could use" Ash said as he walked up the churches moldy stairs i felt like he had been there before but he did not remember it from any time before now. He got to the door and placed his metal right hand on the handle it yanked the door open. A frankly descusting smell filled the churches rooms like a garbage dump or a cemetary. He walked down a corridor to the main part of the church "hello!..." Ash called as his own voice rattled the boards making dust fall on him as he dusted himself. Apparently no one was there and by the looks of it no one had been there for a long time, "great...just great, im stuck in the capitol of evil" Ash yelled as he kicked a pew. As more dust fell Ashe heard scratching on the boards as if a little animal was there it followed by a meow, Ash walked over to the boads and said "hey kitty, you stuck?" he then ripped off the boards and waited for the kitty. Then the boards smacked open even more around the room as if something was ripping the boards open around the room, Ash followed it standing still only turning till it stopped. "Umm...nice kitty?" Ash slowly said as he walked backwards as he was pulled by something against the wall. Then these long boney like arms ripped through the churches rotten moldy boards and grabbed him and pulled him against the wall, as it was choking him he loaded his shot-gun but being to quick he dropped the shells, thinking of the next best thing he started up his chainsaw and lifted it backwards. As blood flew out from behind him a eerie scream sounded out through the church as the arms released and went back into the boards it was followed by a thump of its dead body landing on the boards behind the wall. Ash sighed in relief after it was dead and he took a deep breath as he picked up the shells of the floor he heard a cracking noise that grabbed all his attention, he looked around in confusion then all of a sudden the floor boards beneath him gave loose as he fell to the basement beneath the church.
"Huh?...what the hell is this now!?" Ash said as he got up from the fall, rubbing his head he looked around then a voice called out "mommy?...mommy where are you?" the voice of a little girl called out from the dark. The little girl walked foward to Ash "have you seen my mommy, Mr?" she asked him in an innocent voice, she wore a pink dress and had the same type bow in her curled blond hair her eyes blue with cuteness. Ash looked at her funny "im not going to fall for this again your a deadite!" Ash stammered as he fired his shot gun, the little girl had a hole blown through her as she fell to the ground, Ash waited for five minutes but she did not get up "oh no, i killed a little girl!, oh my god oh my god!" Ash freaked. Then all of a sudden the little girl got up and started to attack him, "oh you little brat!" Ash yelled as he threw the little girl against the wall and shot her several times "almost had me fooled...heh heh but can't fool me" he laughed. Then he turned and saw a woman standing there as beautiful as an angel who yelled "look over there!" Ash turned and was thrown against the wall "fool!", Ash got up quickly to see the now ugly woman flying at him he swung his left hand then turned on the chainsaw and swung his right, cutting the woman in two. The two halves turned into two deadites "thats just not right..." Ash grinned ash he fried at their heads several times till they were dead,really dead. Ash wiped his fore head as he reloaded his gun and tried to find a way out of the church basement. As he walked around the corner he saw a dorr leading out to the back of the church as he pushed it open he saw about twenty deadites stadning there laughing then they all said with a grin "i'll swallow your soul!" followed by Ash saying "oh shit!", he closed and locked the door. Then Ash noticed an imprint of the Ecronomican in the wall so he touched it then the ground beneath him opened and he fell.
Awaking in a cell by the looks of it Ash was once again confused of where he was what he was doing and what was going on. Ash ran to the bars which were made of what appeared to be lava rock he called out "gaurds! gaurds!???" as a deadites in armor walked by, "yo, shit head!" Ash yelled at the gaurd "you talkin to me!?" "ya you!". As the gaurd came over Ash grabbed him pulled him against the bars then snapped his neck making the head come off. The head which had broken off screamed "im going to get the gaurds" as it used its jaw to hop away Ash stuck his foot out and crushed it into little pieces. Ash then picked up the gaurds spear and began to hit the bars with, after about five minutes he had broken three bars and gotten out. Now he had to find the Ecronomican and destroy it. He snuck around corners of Hell looking for the book. Then apon a rock he saw it but it was next to Satan, Ash slowly walked over picked it up then Satan yelled "you there put that back!!!" Ash looked up "umm...well sir its really a funny story it goes like this...BYE!" Ash laughed as he ran. Running he fell down into a lava pit and died.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Ash screamed as he woke up breathing deeply. His friend looked at him "what's wrong Ashley?" she asked, "how can you be here your dead!...you turned to a deadite and i killed you!". "Ashley i think you need to sit down, you did get quite a bump when you fell down into the cellar" she said as she patted his shoulder. Ash got up "but the Ecronomican, the tape recorder we found in the cellar?" his other friend came over "Ash, we didn't find anything down there besides a radio and a few pornos" Ash was confused. "All those years, a dream i can't believe it..." he said as he looked out the window as he turned he saw all his friends all deadites "believe what ever you want to believe!" as the flew at him "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Ash screamed.