The Adventures of William in Virtual-Land

Keep in mind that this is strictly a parody, and nothing in here should be taken seriously or as a suggestion that I own anything worth suing for.
Everything belongs to their respectful owners and blah blah blah anything I make up is my own creation unless stated so, blah blah legalese blah blah blah...

Chapter One: Becoming Genre-Savvy

It's not every day that your body gets snatched away from you and used to taunt your former best friends in an effort to annoy them to the point of making critical combat errors so then my body can single-handedly execute them Mortal Kombat-style and destroy the world. In fact, that's the kind of stuff I would expect from a really good video game. You know, the RPG ones where you invested time and currency in leveling up and equipping a character, only for them to betray you and leave the party with a crapload of your best stuff. I always thought that was where the mind-stealing stuff was going to stay.

Aaaaand then it happened to me.

My name is William Dunbar, and I'm a little bit of an idiot. Okay, not so much an idiot as I am hotheaded, except when it comes to school stuff - then I really am an idiot. (Honestly, though. How much energy is spent trying to get through algebra class? I'd say an infinite amount of joules...)
I screwed up big-time and made Lyoko implode on itself, possibly killing Aelita's father and that is not a good impression to make on a group of new friends. Oh, and I got my mental essence yanked out of my body so the thing responsible could have a competent, non-resisting avatar to manifest through.

So while I was stuck in limbo while the others were working on ways to rescue me, salvage Aelita's dad, and kill Xana (in no particular order of importance), I decided to spend my time wisely by actually learning something worthwhile: how not to screw up everything ever again. I thought that was doable, pretty much...

And then I realized exactly how little I truly knew of my predicament.

Because I am a being composed of several kilobytes of data, that means, technically, I am an executable program. Yeah. Wonder how I'm gonna explain that one to mom and dad, if I ever see them again. Apparently I am attatched to a Trojan called 84XA2N and my own program name is D_WILLIAM. Since I know the procedure needed to autorun myself, I can download my whole data string into whatever I want.
So guess what I choose? Firefox. Screw Internet Explorer - everything breaks in there and I don't want any bits of my data string being deleted or moved. That would be akin to some of the nucleotides in a chromosome suddenly vanishing or being transplanted onto a different chromosome - a mutation, if you will. I'm not planning on becoming a mutation...

Hey, I can see everyone's network name on the server! Huh, I guess I'll choose a random one. Eenie, meenie, miney...four! And there's lots of binary, hexadecimal and whatnot involved. It hurts my head when I look at it, but somehow I know what it all means...how do I know what I know? Right now I'm looking at some guy's web history and I don't even know how I can read it! Well, let's see what they've been to recently...
CNN...meh. I Can Has Cheezburger? What the hell is that? Youtube - yeah, don't we all. Twitter: booooring. AOL, stands for 'Assholes Out Laughing'. TVTropes. Huh, it's got the word 'TV' in it, but I've never heard of the word 'trope' before. Wonder what it could be... Ah well, let's find out.

I gotta dive into the internet search engines in order to access the original website page. It's a very annoying limitation. Well, here I go!