50 Shades of Greg
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As far as Sherlock could see, Greg Lestrade ranged from shade #1 (barely alive and bleeding all over the carpet) to shade #40 (embarrassed and in desperate need of a drink). Time to push the boat out. Johnlock
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Sherlock Holmes is a deducer: a 'figure it out, assign a category and store it away for future reference' deducer. And having known Greg (Graham? George?) Lestrade for so long he had the man down to a T. An art form, if you will. Privately he referred to these deductions as "50 Shades of Greg" which he knew was a pun of some form but had no idea as to its origin.
Maybe I'm not explaining very well - let me give you an example:
Shade #20 was Lestrade's default colour - it meant two cups of coffee and a nicotine patch. Shade #21 was a whole two hours sleep, two cups of coffee and a nicotine patch.
The day Sherlock came back from the "dead" (quotation marks included), Lestrade was as low as shade #9 - sleepless, worried, overworked. The first drag of the cigarette should have upped him to shade #10 but, as he was surprised by the world's most annoying detective, he instead flew to shade #25 wrapping his arms around Sherlock - relief mixed with a sudden sense of awake-ness, almost the same as shade #26: a case solved.
But the shade that Sherlock remember best was #50 itself; the moment that Lestrade had walked in on him and John fucking in one of the station's supply closets - deep purple in colour, mixed with embarrassment, denial, and even a hint of arousal. Sherlock stored the information away with the others and congratulated himself on an experiment completed.
Now to finish deducing the 50 Shades of John, currently at shade #47: bliss tinged with annoyance.
Perfect.