I'm the guy standing at the back. I'm the guy you didn't really notice. I'm the guy who is always just there. I'm there to support them when they're down, when they're crying or angry or annoyed. With a smile plastered across my face, always happy, always carefree, always fine...well at least that's what they think. It's difficult to keep up apparences when your mind is killing you. Difficult to keep smiling as you slowly destroy yourself. Difficult to laugh when all you want to do is scream. The thing is that when people don't expect it, they don't notice it. When you're born in to a completely pleasant family, kind, supporting, loving, the whole package. When you're coping fine with schoolwork, sure not top of the class but definitely not bottom. When you have a normal friendship group. No one ever seems to expect you to be like I am. I'm drowning, and no one can see.

A bell was ringing, loudly. Sighing as it's high pitched insistency attacked my ears. I stretched but didn't open my eyes, hoping it would all go away if I kept my eyes shut. My curtains were ripped open as someone flung themself on top of me.
"Fabian, wake up!" Gideon shouted "Wake up you lazy bugger." He chucked as I tried to pull the covers over my head. He punched me.
"Alright, alright, I'm getting up." I said whilst getting up. I dreaded nothing more than the first day of school. Just thinking about the lessons, the professors, the students, made me feel physically sick. I had to do it though, that's the way it was. With a yawn I trudged towards the bathroom. "Shotgun the bathroom next. " I yawned. Frank looked up from his chest, "Oi Prewett, stop queue jumping." "Oi Longbottom, shut it." Frank laughed and shook his head as I shut the bathroom door.
After showering and dressing as fast as I could, I ran a hand through my messy dark red hair. I avoided the mirror, I had enough to worry about already this morning. The others were ready when I came out the bathroom and before long, we were mooching down to the great hall, messing around as we went. We plonked ourselves in the middle of the Gryffindor table. As I poured myself some coffee, McGonagall appeared with our time tables. I had basically forgotten what options I had chosen this year.
"What classes are you pricks doing?" I asked without looking up.
"Well we're all doing, charms, defence against the dark arts, potions, and transfiguration." Ed replied "But I'm doing arithmancy and history of magic as well."
"Myself and your truly charming brother," Stubby started as he glanced over to Gideon who was busy stuffing his mouth with bacon, "We are taking care of magical creatures, and muggle studies." He said with a cheeky grin.
"Definitely didn't choose classes we could just doss in." Gideon smirked then winked at us.
"What about you, oh ginger one?" Stubbs questioned.
"Astronomy and divination, oh slightly beardy one" I replied. The lads exchanged perplexed looks. Confusion covered Gideons face "Um, Fabian?" "Yup"
"Did you just say divination?"
"Yup"
"Um, why?"
I thought for a moment, because I liked it? Because it was a interesting different point of view? Couldn't tell the boys that, the jokes would be endless. They wouldn't understand, I knew they wouldn't. I grinned and shrugged "Biggest doss ever, right?"
Relief spread across their faces, the minor panic over. The bell rang, breakfast was over. It had officially started. "See you ladies later." Stubby and Gideon left together, shoving each other as they went.
I smiled up at Edgar, "Hope you have a fine day my good sir." He laughed and said with a bow "I wish you a splendid day too my good fellow." With that he slung his satchel over his shoulder and marched off. My first class was astronomy, that wasn't to bad. I've always loved the stars. On those crisp nights when I wake for no reason. The only light coming from the stars, like tiny silver pinpricks in black silk. I'll gaze out at those stars and just feel it. This quiet hollowness sitting in my chest. Like an empty nothingness. Then I just lie there, doing nothing, feeling nothing, being nothing. Its like I'm waiting in a strange state of hibernation. But what I'm waiting for?...I have no idea. I could stare in to the sky forever, being filled with that emptiness, momentarily forgetting everything...momentarily free. I wandered along caught up in my thoughts as always, and too soon I was there. As I trudged in to the room I gratefully realised I knew no one there. Glancing around I noticed a pretty empty patch in the back corner. There was only one other guy sitting there. I quickly studied him as I sat down. He wasn't a normal kid. He was slightly taller than average. His skin fine like paper, molded gently over his fragile bones. His cheekbones were so skillfully sculpted, his eyes shone bluer than the sea, his pale blonde hair almost silver. Glowing in a ethereal light, he was pure beauty, pure grace, pure perfection. Time stood still. The incessant chatter momentarily silenced. The loud colours faded to a gentle white. Everything felt pure. His electric blue eyes locked on to mine. A shiver shot through me like quicksilver, waking every nerve in my body. The hairs on my neck raised, my muscles stopped working, my heart stopped beating, my lungs stopped breathing and yet I couldn't tear my eyes away. I was lost in the ocean of his eyes, unable to speak, unable to move. My body was over come with an unexplainable feeling. The eternal ocean of his eyes was swallowing me. I couldn't bear it anymore, I tore my eyes away. I came crashing down. Harshly thrown back in to reality. Gasping for air that I wasn't completely sure I wanted. I shook my head finally waking up as life continued around me as if nothing had happened...