It burns so badly
All the guilt and the regret
I'm sorry, Japan
England laid on the floor, staying still. Bloodshot eyes glazing over as he stared at the ceiling. Replaying the events of the day repeatedly in his head. Hot tears starts brimming his eyes again, flowing freely without a stop as if they didn't leaked uncontrollably at all for the last few hours. He knew the alliance will end soon, with the war on the horizon, but he never anticipated for the overwhelming sense of dread and remorse. Nor being enemies with the eastern nation at all. His eastern nation.
They forced him to choose, very easy choices, but little do they know, the choices tore him apart from the inside out and burn him with hell fire. America or Japan. Of course, they expect, no, they knew he will choose America, for both relations and military purposes. But that doesn't mean he could blindly abandon Japan and dismiss him as a milestone for recovering from the splendid isolation, as the government put it.
If he is a human, it would be the equivalent of choosing between a brother and a lover. Blame his brotherly instincts, but he can't risk destroying the good will between England and America, but at the same time, Japan is one of the main powers of Asia, and a dangerous one at that. With a devastated mind and heart, he choose America.
At least Japan's face isn't cold and detached like what he expect it to be, it's merely a grim determination facade of a broken, crying little boy inside. He sure didn't look any different than Japan either way. Luckily for both, no one notice it nor question anything, so things end quietly, silently. Emptily.
Before he realized, he was beginning to sobbed desperately, any attempts to cease the crying is fruitless. He never cried this hard since when America declared independence. At this rate, he would be utterly hopeless and a soulless shell of what he used to be, the great pirate who conquered the seven seas and could defeat any given empire of the world. How can one beautiful, quiet nation of the east affect him this badly, this painfully? But frankly enough, he can't think of any other person that he would rather fell for if not the Japanese man.
Why does fate have to be so cruel, so torturing? Would after this they would be giving a chance to live peacefully? Or is this the price to pay for being in love, let alone falling for a fellow nation, too? Despite all the tears, bitter questions invaded his mind relentlessly, trying to find a reason, any fundamental reason, but none came to his mind. Leaving him lying on a pool of bitterness, remorse, and despair.
A perfect place to left me decaying, rotting in the damned hell hole of my mind.
Sullenly, he closed his eyes. Hoping that maybe, if he opened his eyes again, he might be laying on his futon at Japan's place, his flag patterned blanket covering him comfortably. By his side, there lay Japan. Asleep soundly on his own futon, Pochi neatly napping by his head. He wished it, he really did. And he would give anything to make things go back to the same way it used to be. Yet when he opened his eyes, the same cream ceiling came to view instead, along with more tears.
Every thing remind him of the eastern nation. The stars, the cozy warmth, oranges, hot springs, tea, nikujaga, he could go on and on, but nothing will change his government minds, nor Japan's government. He sighed, trying to calm his racked mind. Shaking hands were forced to wiped tears away. He took a deep breathe, trying to gather his thoughts futilely. No luck.
How ironic. He was lying there, the great United Kingdom, in a heap of tears and despair. He couldn't care less for responsibilities as the United Kingdom right now. He, as a human, as Arthur Kirkland, just want to live peacefully with Kiku Honda, the love of his life, without war threatening to tear them apart on the horizon, without having to choose between Kiku or Alfred, nor Japan or America.
However, he knew, countries have responsibilities, and by tomorrow, he has to perfectly keep his feet on the ground, preparing for the possible upcoming war with utter attention and dedication. Now more than ever with Germany on the rise. He might have to fight Japan, even. The thought made his limp with moroseness. But there's nothing he could do now, every thing is in motion. His eyes slowly shut in repentant.
I'm sorry, Japan, I'm really am.
You light up my world
Yet fate seems to dislike me
Now I'm here, grieving
A/n: Hey, Ghosty here! Finally I wrote a one-shot, after so long of gathering my courage (and this might turn into two-shot, even!). And it's indeed today that the Anglo-Japanese alliance was terminated (17 August, at my timezone at least).
From what I found so far, it seems like there's tension brewing between America and Japan, and the Canadian prime minister really don't like this alliance, so he and other factors kinds of pressured England to withdraw and terminate the alliance. And it seems like America and Canada were really edgy because of fear for a renewal of the alliance which might lead to Japan dominate the Pacific market, and might eventually close off China from American trade, or so it seems, I'm very dizzy with this overlapping historic events. And my information probably will be inaccurate anyway, actually I'll be very glad if someone who knew about this topic correct me!
Well, that is all, it seems. Reviews is always appreciate, so do are follow or favorite, even if you merely read it I'm very happy! Have a nice day!