Another quick one-shot :) I've had this in my head since I saw the episode (I believe it was 3x03, The Inside Job) and finally got around to writing it!
"Hardison?" Parker asked between bites of her pizza. Unusually, they were alone in the apartment. Elliot had a date, Sophie said something about an appointment at some fancy spa and Nate announced that even if he technically lived at the office, he didn't have to eat there.
Hardison grunted, not dragging his eyes away from the game showing on the giant screen in front of them.
"What's sexting?"
Hardison's head snapped towards her, dropping the slice of p izza he had just picked up.
"What? Why do you –" he flustered, trying not to blush madly.
Parker shrugged, "Elliot said he wouldn't tell me, so I'm asking you." She took another bit of her slice, and turned back to the screen.
He let out a breath, "Elliot's a smart guy."
He tried to think of a way of avoiding the question, but he saw her turn back to him, her eyes expectantly wide. "You know what phone sex is, right?"
She gazed at him blankly, still chewing on her bite. He shook his head, "Seriously? Woman, where have you been-" he stopped before he finished the thought. He really had to tell her, didn't he?
"Phone sex is when you can't be with the person you want to – you know – with."
"Sex." She offered, putting the dots together.
He swallowed an imaginary lump and looked at her, "Yeeaaahhh. So you call each other and tell them what you would, uh, be doing if you could... be together. And use your... imagination to pretend that ...your hand is... their hand." Was it just him, or was it getting hot in there?
She said nothing for a moment, as if contemplating it. He took this opportunity to take another bite.
"Does it work?"
Her question made me freeze, because he really didn't want to get into this. Especially not with her. "Uh... for some people." He paused, remembering her initial question. "Anyway, sexting is the same thing, but you text it to them instead of... talking on the phone."
Parker nodded, biting her lip. "Have you ever done it?" She looked innocently curious, but all he could think about was not answering the question.
"I'm not g-. No, and we are going to end this conversation now." He shook his head, talking so fast his words were tripping over each other. He glanced back at her, "Seriously, you need to go watch some TV or something."
Parker just shrugged again, as if she wasn't really paying attention. "I should try it," she said casually. Maybe she thought they were talking about the new diner around the corner.
His eyes had reverted back to the screen, mistakenly thinking the conversation was over. "Sure – wait what?" He turned back to her, eyes wide. Because really, how could he not picture that?
"It seems like the kind of thing you don't understand until you do it, right?"
"Uh-huh, right. Whatever," he nodded slowly, pulling himself up. The pizza box was now empty and he really had to throw it in the trash.
"Hardison?" she asked, again. He was already halfway to the kitchen.
"What?" It came out a bit more snappy than it should.
"You don't have to be with the person, right?" She bit her lip again. Something about her tone told him she wasn't just talking about location.
He shook his head, "No, not really... you just gotta, you know, like each other."
Parker nodded, and relaxed back on the couch. Hardison threw the box in the bin and sighed. He could see the top of her blonde head and knew he couldn't go back to the couch. Instead, he opened his laptop on the counter and focused on something more productive.
A couple of hours later, Hardison had retired to his bed after giving Parker a ride home to her home. Well, to a home, he was pretty sure she didn't actually live there.
He pulled of his shirt, ready to collapse into bed. He was exhausted and Nate had hinted that tomorrow would not be any easier. His phone buzzed from his bed side table. He picked it up, not even glancing whom it was from.
His eyes widened as he read the message. In other thoughts, maybe a shower was in need. "Oh my god, I'm sorry Nana," he muttered, before dropping himself onto the bed.