Chapter One
Love and Lust
Note: This is my first fanfic. I'm a little nervous about it. I want to know if I'm doing something wrong, so tell me. I don't mind constructive criticism, but please don't be too harsh. I don't really know where this story is going. I'm letting the characters take me where they will.
Disclaimer: I don't own X-men. Although, I wish I owned the Wolverine. A girl can dream.
If asked the exact moment that I fell in love with my protector, I couldn't tell you. I wouldn't say that it was love at first sight because that doesn't exist. I don't believe that you can fall in love with someone you don't know, that falls into the lust category. I don't lust after Logan, not because he's not good looking, but because I know him and this feeling is more than lust. I would do anything he asks me, without question. Well, there might be questions, but I would still do it. A good example of this would be like yesterday in the danger room.
"Late again kid? Fifteen laps wasn't enough last time. Alright, make it twenty five."
"It wasn't my fault! Kitty stole my work out shorts and-"
"Kitty wasn't late. Get to running before I add on a few more."
Logan became our defense teacher after Alkali Lake. He took off a few months and nobody knew where he went, not even me. I can't begin to tell you how upset I was about that. I wasn't worried about his safety; God knows he can take care of himself. I knew he needed time.
I saw the way he looked at Jean. I know I should hate her guts, but she was always so nice to me. It's not her fault that Logan looked at her like a starving man would look at a steak. I just wish he would look at me that way. I want to be his steak.
He's sees me as someone he needs to protect. I don't want him to feel that way about me. I am working my ass off in the danger room every day, late days notwithstanding, to get stronger. I want to show him that I'm not the same girl that stowed away in his trailer. I've gotten older mentally and physically. Damn it, I have boobs now! I know the twins are hidden under layers and layers for everybody's protection but would it kill him to notice. I just want him to see that I've grown up in a lot of ways.
I'm working on controlling my mutation with the professor. I'm trying to get out of my melodramatic "pity me, I can't touch anyone" stage. I'm starting to see my mutation as a gift, especially when I steal Kitty's powers and use them to phase my hand and a recording device through Scott's bathroom door. He was not happy about that recording; although, I thought he captured "American Women" really well. The whole school thought he did to. I'm still in hot water over that one. I'm done with the detentions, but the maliciously evil looks from Scott as he hands me extra work have not subsided.
I broke up with Bobby right after Alkali Lake. He always made me feel bad for not being able to touch. He never said anything, he was too polite. I could just feel the disappointment, every time I'd push him away before he got to close.
I was his untouchable girlfriend, now I'm just his friend. It's better this way and I think that even if I gained control, I would still have let him go. It's not right to love another while you're in love with someone else. Not that I was in love with Logan when I started dating Bobby, because I wasn't. It was more like extreme crushing, and I really did like Bobby.
When we came back from the lake, I decided to change. I didn't do it for Logan, I did it for myself. I wanted to be stronger. I wanted to find a way to control my mutation, so that I could use it to help people. I want to be an X-man. Well, technically X-woman. Whenever Logan learns that I'm participating in the next try-outs, perhaps he will wake up and see that I'm more than a 'kid'.
The full leather body suit I have for the occasion also can't hurt. What? I said people don't fall in love at first sight. I did, however, mention lust. While not as desirable as love from Logan would be, I'm not picky. Any emotion beside platonic friendship is fine with me. I'm up for the challenge.
I don't think Logan has a clue of what I have in store for him. This is going to be so much fun.
End