Last Night With You
...Gold...
...But cursed, for sure...
But it certainly is pretty.
...Idiot girl...
"For heaven's sake!" Raziel yells at the stranger. "Tell me what you are right now."
Behind the wall, I take a tiny look at the prisoner, noticing how everything of him is gold except for his black shirt.
"Jace, that's what they call me," he speaks with a smirk on his face. He doesn't look like a demon nor an angel. He doesn't have a mark on him.
"Maybe a human," I speak out softly without knowing.
Raziel turns around and spots me, his eyes burning with surprise and anger. "Clarissa, this isn't your place to be."
"Well, he could be a human, honestly. Look at him, he doesn't have a demon mark nor an angel one."
"Things can happen, sweetheart," the unknown outsider winks at me swiftly, and I blush despite myself. What is he doing... I'm supposed to be good. An angel.
...You never know, though...
...You can always fall...
"Right," Raziel grits his teeth, staring at him. "You have a death wish, don't you?"
...FALL...
"Too bad, I don't die," he grins. "Now that crosses out the human thing. So demon or angel, huh... You know if you hurt an angel, it's time for, well... Falling."
"Oh, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't hurt one of my kinds," Raziel whispers dangerously. "A demon. But how? No mark, no life, aren't we? So how..."
The boy-Jace inhales sharply, his eyes twinkling. "Risky thoughts, Raziel. So what do you want from me? The fall?"
The angel leans back, thinking. Then to the other angels, he says, "lock him up."
They lock me up too. They didn't cuff me up like they did to Jace, but they always do, every night. Because I'm me, Clary. The messed up one.
And they want to keep themselves clean and pure. I'm just a rude intruder.
"So... An angelic prison, huh? Ironic, don't you find it?" Jace speaks up beside me through the bars marked with pentagrams. "And these shitty chains-" he yanks at the cuffs, and I stare in awe as they break into pieces.
"How did you..." I shake my head, forgetting what I was going to say. "So are you going to leave now? That you have broken free?"
The cell was empty except for the presence of him and me, and I'm just locked up in here, unable to stop him.
"Nah," he says swiftly, leaning back on his elbows.
"Why not?"
"Cuz. I like you," he smirks at me, making my heart flutter.
"Don't lie," I only say curtly.
"Right. That was a lie," he says, rubbing the back of his neck.
"So what are you?" I ask carefully, looking at the shreds of broken chains curiously.
"Now why would I tell you?"
"Which means you're a demon. If you're an angel, you would tell me. And Raziel."
"Ah, you never know. 'cause it's so fun to play with angels, you see," he smirks, reaching between the bars and touching my red curls briefly. I flinch, finding myself... Feeling. Something I was told not to do. And another thing I was told not to do; falling.
"Jace, you said your name was," I swallow, leaning away from his touch.
"What an excellent memory you've got there," his eyes contain darkness, and I know, I know for Raziel's sake, he's a bad news.
...But there always had been a bad news...
...Screeeeeeeeccchhhhh...
...And dead-
SHUT UP!
Jace looks up at me through his long, tangled curls in a curious way. Did he hear me? Did I say that out loud? Or maybe he can hear the voices too...?
"You never change, Clary," he speaks in an almost threatening way.
...Of course you don't...
...You can't...
...You know exactly why...
No, I don't.
"How would you know?" I squint at him in an accusing glare.
"How could I not know, sweetheart?" I think he winks, but maybe that's just one of my delusions. "I thought we'd shared a special... Something."
"What do you mean, we had?" I inquire, tilting my head. "I'm not quite following you."
"You don't really have to, you see," his voice is low and controlled. "In fact, I'm glad you don't."
Then, he disappears into the thin air.
"Jace?" I cry out frantically.
Not even a day since I met him, but something about him... Something about him attracts me. His good looks? Maybe, but not entirely. Something else. Something deep inside my heart that is beating for him. But since when?
...Since forever...
You mean from birth?
...Oh, come on. You never believed in destinies...
"Jace," I look around me, then I feel a cold presence from the behind.
"I'm here," a cool breath of air brushes it's way against the side of my neck, making me gasp.
I turn around immediately, coming face to face with him, closer than ever.
...Really?...
"How do you do that? I mean the pentagrams... Can you get me out of here too?"
"Being naughty, sweetheart? You should be a good angel," he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, and I shiver a little when his fingertips touch the top of my ear.
"Your hand," I seize it with both of mine. "It's freezing."
...Of course it's freezing, you idiot girl...
"What can I say? My heart is sculpted from ice."
And there I go again, falling for his dark gaze on me, his smirky lips. And what if I do kiss those lips?
"Or," he grabs my hand, putting it against his own chest. "You could always melt it if you wanted warmth."
And I know I should notice something from my hands on his chest, there's something wrong. Something wrong with his heart. But too distracted by him and his oh-so-sexy-eyes and his hard and defined chest and just being so close to him...
Hell, what's wrong with me? I only met him today. And now I'm giving up everything for him.
"I don't mind cold," I reply curtly.
"Then don't blame me," he murmurs softly, then his lips crash into mine.
It's nothing like I'd expected. At first, it's not a kiss. No, not at all. His lips are hard and unmoving, but mostly, I'm just shocked. Not solely by his action, but by the sudden shock of coldness he brings on to my lips.
Maybe he's right. Maybe his heart is made of ice.
But just then, his lips soften against mine, gently pulling at my bottom lip. And his arms wrap tight around me rocking us backward until I fall onto him, and him onto the floor.
So I kiss him back. But gosh, I know he's evil. A demon, probably. So cold. But hot too, like a dry ice.
I can imagine Raziel's face when he finds out out this. Smudges of self-control, morality, and righteousness swim around in my head until Jace's tongue probes my lips for an entrance. Then it's all gone, all my rationalities, and instead, the senses of Jace-so familiar, yet, it shouldn't be-fill me up.
He gently cradles my head, pulling me closer and closer until we're molded together. I can't help but wonder, how can he be so gentle when he's so evil?
And how come? How come can I be so easily affected by him?
His cold hands fumbles with the hem of my shirt, and I immediately flinch away. Not from his cold touch, but from fear.
"I don't... I can't..." I stutter, covering his hands with my own to stop their movements.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" His voice is soft as he sleepily opens his eyes.
"It's pretty... Messy underneath."
He gives me a long stare, almost a sad one, really. It's quite surprising. A guy like him, I'd expected would be sarcastic and joking while kissing, but Jace- Jace is so serious. So dark.
"I'm sorry," I think I hear him whisper, but I don't have enough time to think over it.
He reverses our position, so that he's pinning me onto the ground. For a second, I think he's going to force me out of my clothes and regret that I'd ever trusted him. But instead, he lifts his own shirt off, revealing his chest. With burn marks. Like mine.
I give out a short gasp, my heartbeats rising and pounding against my own marks, the scars.
"How come..."
"Feel better now?" He inquires, inhaling sharply.
He kisses my bare neck softly as I run my hands across his scars. His lips lower down to my collarbones, tracing each marks with delicacy.
After a blank space of nothing, his lips now find the edge of my shirt, slowly lifting it up. He presses a gentle kiss onto my stomach, right on a burn mark and cool it down, lifting my shirt up higher and higher.
When it's finally off, he closes the distance to kiss me again, and the moment his bare chest is against mine, a shock of coldness runs through my veins. And even more so as his hands immediately unclasps my bra and travel my upper body so expertly, it's like he's already memorized it. Maybe he has. But how?
I soon find myself moaning, bucking my hips against his for more pressure.
"Dammit, stop that, Clary," he growls, grabbing roughly at my hips.
In a daze, I look up to him who's biting down on his own lips, drawing blood. Withholding.
"I want this," I assure him, hooking my arms on the back of his neck and pulling his lips back on mine.
"You don't understand..." He murmurs against my mouth. "You don't get it at all. Ugh, fucking shit, you don't get it, Clary-"
Irritated from the need that I shouldn't be yearning for, from his hesitation, I wrap my legs around his waist, and he abruptly thrusts his hip against mine.
"Oh, God..." He gasps, burying his lips on the base of my neck, traveling lower and lower and-oh.
Trembling underneath his light feathery kisses, I dreamily let my hand travel down to the hard desire he's feeling for me. He lets out a moan, swearing softly, as I gently palm him though his jeans.
He clumsily removes my grasp, then pin my wrists against the floor. Only gasps and moans echo around in the cell as he grinds into me, both our desire growing more dangerous.
Soon, all of our clothes are discarded, and he hovers above me, his eyes glowing dark with hunger.
When I feel his hardness between my legs, I whimper softly. "I'm still a... I'm still a virgin."
He leans down and presses his cold lips against my forehead. "You think, you are."
Then he enters me slowly, and I can't help but gasp at such a foreign feeling and then, the pain. The searing pain that his body brings to me.
"Shh," he breathes soothingly over my tears, cooling them off.
A sudden feeling of deja vu flashes in the back of my eyes, but I'm in too much pain to consider it. I try to get lost in the void, feel nothing at all. No pain, no pleasure, no deja vu-
His kisses. Oh, his kisses on my tears but now? When?
I'm snapped back to reality when a breathy moan escapes from my mouth as the pleasure takes over. I roll my hips once, and Jace takes control from then.
After that, it's just a big mess. Jace is clumsy and elegant the same time, passionate but calm. He thrusts into me slowly but longingly, heated up, but still cold.
I know the only reasonable explanation for us wound up against each other is a one-time passion. But then, how can it explain these emotions forming up underneath my skin, and I swear, he must feel those too.
Shortly after we both climax, Jace collapses down on my limp body, his cool breath fanning down on my sweaty face. Then, when I touch his soft hair gently, he slides down onto the hard floor next to me, locking me to sleep in his embrace. I can't help but think, this is the happiest night of my entire existence.
He's gone when I wake up. I gather up my clothes and put them back on.
Tears roll down my face as I sit in the empty cell, not daring to make a noise.
Of course. I was just one of his one night stands.
...He left you...
...What else did you expect?...
...He's probably a demon anyways...
...You're not in love with him, are you?...
I whimper softly, trying to chase the mocking voices away from my head.
Seconds, minutes, and maybe even hours pass, and the angels rush into the cell, sensing that something is wrong.
I remain silent and limp, sitting down weakly at the center of the small room as shouts emerge from the angels in vain to find him.
I'm still in daze when Raziel picks me up my collar violently. "It was you, wasn't it, you stupid girl? You fucked this up!"
Angels- angels are not supposed to swear.
I don't defend myself.
...They shouldn't have let you in here...
...You just have no idea...
And I realize silently- I'm heartbroken. I am heartbroken by Jace Fucking Herondale, and I've only met him for-
Wait.
.
.
.
Wait.
Herondale? How do I...
"Can't you remember?" A voice, a familiar voice whispers in my ear.
I turn around abruptly, only to be met with an empty space.
"Jace?" I inhale sharply, all the shouts of the angels around me turning into a low buzz in my ear. "Is that you?"
A whoosh of cold air embraces me for a moment, then blows past me.
"Jace, please answer me. Are you here? With me?"
"I've been here from the start," he replies from behind me. "Always."
I follow my gaze to the voice, finding him there. Standing amongst the busy angels.
"Can't they see you?"
"Shh," he puts a finger on his lips. Those lips. Those lips that kissed me for hours. For the night. For years. "Only you get the privilege," he gives me a swift wink. "But not for long, sweetheart."
He disappears once again, as if to prove the point.
"Please," I wail, searching for him. "Please don't leave me here."
An angel yanks at my arm. "What do you think you're doing!"
His eyes bore into me, and I scream, because it's so black. So dark, and yet, he's an angel? I shut my eyes, concentrating on one thing.
...Darknessdarknessdarknessdarkness...
Then all the shouts, the voices in my head fade into blackness.
.
.
.
When I carefully open my eyes, it's all red. But not blood red like the images in the back of my head. The sunset red. The orange red.
I realize I'm lying down.
On where?
Sand.
How did I get here?
Crashes of... Water? Waves.
I carefully sit up, greeted with the presence of him sitting beside me.
He's silent, staring at the infinite waves of the ocean crashing onto the beach. His golden hair is sparkling under the dim light of the sunset, his eyes lost.
I shift uncomfortably, wishing to get his attention.
"It's not me," he suddenly says, still gazing at the waves.
"Wha- what?"
"It's not me that leaves, Clary," his voice is bitter as he turns his head slightly to look at me.
"I don't get it," my voice is almost a whisper. "Look, forget it. Just... Please, just hold me, Jace."
"You wouldn't hold me if I ask you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Can't you remember?" He repeats the earlier words.
So subtly, he leans down on me and kisses me lightly on my lips. Sounds of crashing waves echoes my increasing heartbeats, and I pull gently at his hair.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . .
. . .
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.
.
"Oh, please, for the love of-" he wails, breaking away from our kiss.
"Jace, please. Not again," I sob. "I'm here, I love you."
"I can't do this, Clary, goddammit!" He pulls painfully at his hair.
"Why, Jace? I'll always be here. I love you! I'm not going to leave you-"
"How can you not understand?" He breathes, all tears and misery. "Everyone leaves me, everyone! What makes you different, you fucking whore?"
"Jace," I pull him closer to me, trying to gain an eye contact. "I am in love with you."
"Nonononononononono stop," he pushes me away, shutting his eyes close. "You lying... You lying bitch. It's not like I... Like I need you."
"You're talking nonsense. Come on, Jace. We are not going over this again."
I reach for him, reach for his trust, reach for his heart, but he pushes me away abruptly, and I stumble onto the floor.
"Go away, Clary!"
A moment of silence passes.
"Fine," I breathe shakily. "You know I'm tired of this too. You, pushing me away because you're afraid that I'll leave you-"
"I'm afraid? Who ever said I'm afraid that you'd leave me?"
But his eyes, desperate and agonized speak the opposite.
"Just because you had a shitty past doesn't mean you get to make my life a living hell."
"So that's it? You're breaking up with me?"
"Maybe I am," my voice is shaking because I know, I know what a mess this will cause to him. "We're supposed to make each other happy, but apparently, both of us are just miserable."
"Alright. Leave, then. I never loved you anyways. And you probably never loved me either."
"Whatever," but my heart breaks into pieces. "We're done."
I walk across his room toward the door, but a loud crash pauses my movement. I dare to turn around, met with shreds of glass falling down to the wooden floor with drops of water and ruined flowers.
That's his thing, one moment, he's the sweetest angel boy I've ever met, and then, he turns into a lovesick demon.
"Let it be," he bites down on his lips, glaring at me furiously. "Let me be!"
After a moment of hesitation, I continue on to the door, flinching by more crashes, more shatters, and more wails.
"Please don't," I think I hear the words, but I'm not sure if they are from him or from me.
.
.
.
I pick up the phone, and it's Jace.
"Hey," he starts, his voice calm but shaky. "Where are you?"
"A hotel room. Why?"
"Are we over?"
There's a silence for a few seconds.
"Please, Clary. I'm so, so sorry. You know I never meant... The words I said to you."
Another silence.
"Clary," I can tell he's sobbing now. "Don't leave me now. Please. You told me, you told me you'd never..."
"I thought you said you want me to leave you alone."
"You know I can't live without you. Come back home. I'm sorry."
"It's always like this," great, now I'm tearing up too. "How can I trust you this time?"
"I'm so sorry, Clary," he whimpers, and I can almost see his desperate eyes and lose hair slick with tears and sweat. "Forgive me, please. I can't live if you... If you don't come home."
"Don't do that. Don't guilt trip me," something hot burns in my throat. "Stop, Jace."
"I'll die. I'll die if you leave me."
I lower my phone for a second, clearing out the low buzz of his whimpers and cries. I am so, so fucked up. Because I know. I know for god's sake, I know, he'll die for real.
But that's not my fault, is it?
That's the fault of his dark past, not mine.
I press the phone to my ear again with trembling hands.
"-Clary, I swear. Come home tonight. I'll make it all up to you. Just one more night, Clary, and I'll let you be. One more night."
No.
"Okay."
"I love you, Clary Fray. I swear I'll make it up to you."
.
.
.
That night, he did. He made love to me for hours, and whispered thousands of I love yous to me.
That night, he also set our house on fire.
.
.
.
. . .
. . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
I gasp, standing up from the sand.
"Tell me... Tell me that wasn't real. That... Wasn't real, right?"
He doesn't give me an answer, just staring into the void.
"That wasn't real, right? Jace?" I flinch at how violent and insane I sound.
"I'm sorry," he speaks softly. "You need to know, how sorry I am-"
"No," I whisper. "No. I saw... What I saw..."
I realize he has tears on his face like before. He's an easy crier. A pretty one, too.
"That's why they made you into an angel. But I... I'm cursed. Forever."
"You're a ghost."
"When I came here to see you... I just wanted to know if you had feelings for me."
"So you had sex with me," my voice screams out that I'm broken.
"Please, don't be mad."
"Why would you... Why did you do such thing?"
"What, have sex with you?"
"No, not just the sex, but... What you don't understand is, oh for Raziel's sake... We could have been happy," I stress out the word. "We were together, and if you had just let me love you-"
"It wasn't me, you know that. You have no idea how much I want that too, but..."
"Stop it, Jace, stop it!" I scream, falling to my feet and rocking myself back and forth as pieces of broken memories finally all come back to me.
"Clary..." He tries to touch my face, but I push his hand away.
"You shouldn't have ever come here! You are hurting me, Jace. It was better when I couldn't remember you! It was better when I'd never even known you!"
"That's not true," he begs, tears streaming down his face. "You loved me. You still do, you felt it last night, though you thought you never met me before!"
"It doesn't mean you have the right to hurt me, Jace, okay? It doesn't mean... Oh god..."
"You weren't happy like here anyways. You are different from those angels."
"Don't tell me if I were happy or not. These angels are much better than you."
"But you don't belong to them!"
"I don't understand... Do you even love me at all?"
"Clary, I know I messed up-"
"You killed me," the word echoes between us, between the waves, between the sunset and the beach.
But he inches closer to me nonetheless.
"I... Trust me, I know you can't ever forgive me. But Clary- my love, I wasn't lying when I said I can't be without you. I'm not forcing you to stay with me. God, I know what I've done is unforgivable. But, if you could just stay one more night, with me-"
"Like the night you set us on fire?"
"-I swear, I'll make everything better. I'll make you feel happy."
Unable to hold it back anymore at that precise word, I start crying out loud, and he holds me as I do, kissing my hair gently.
"How can you possibly know the meaning of the word, when you never experienced it?"
"When I'm with you, when I'm kissing you, oh god, last night..."
The sun is still in the same place it was at when I'd first gotten here. I realize that Jace has frozen this place except for the ever coming waves. Of course. He made this whole thing up, after all. Such a tragedy in such a beautiful scenery, isn't it?
"I know, so fucking well, that you enjoyed last night. And dammit, I know you're going to leave me here anyways, this place that I made up for both of us. I know I'm going to have to let you go, but for one last time, Clary, let me make you feel good again."
No.
"Okay."
"I love you, Clary Fray. I swear I'll make you happy."
.
.
.
That night, he did. He held me under the never-dying sunset, listening to the roars of waves. Just holding me like in the movies, the happy movies.
That night, he also let me leave.
.
.
.
But secretly, I wished he'd follow.
.
.
.
And maybe, just maybe, he had.
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.
.
So to this day, I still wait for him.
Hi! So... That was the story, and I hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you thought of it, and have a nice day! Or night! Or whatever! :)