"Later," Levi said, more to the floor than to either of them. He dashed out of the dorm feeling groggy and panicking about his lateness. He had already been distracted at work and this wasn't going to go down well. He thought about texting Cath, as he leaped into his truck and slammed the door, but his battery was virtually empty. Instead he threw it on the dashboard and made a mental note to text her later. "Damn!" he thought as he roughly combed his fingers through his hair, he should have kissed her goodbye or something, arranged to meet up with her when he got off. He didn't want her to think that last night was a one off…..
The traffic was clear and he managed to make it to work in under 7 minutes. His mouth tasted stale and gritty so he popped some gum, clocked in, and whipped on his apron. Fortunately it had been quiet so Mike, his fellow barista was cool with him. Mike was a good guy. He tried to apologize for leaving him hanging but Mike just waved his hand dismissively,
"How many times have you covered for me bro?". Levi studied his face briefly to check for any signs of annoyance. Mike just seemed happy to see him. He cracked into a smile and got into the rhythm of serving and chatting in his normal upbeat manner. His shift poured by in a familiar haze of chatting faces and spiced lattes. He couldn't stop thinking about Cath's gentle lips and her soft voice as she read to him, as she kissed him. He had been embarrassed telling her he struggled to read, he didn't want her to think he was stupid. It was silly, but he wanted her to think he could keep up with her intellectually, he wanted to impress her. Instead of making fun of him, or thinking less of him, or making him feel inadequate, she spent literally all night reading to him. Snuggled into him, he hadn't even been certain she liked him! He had been thinking about her for weeks. The way she seemed to think a thousand words and only speak a fraction of them. Her sincere love for something, even though it wasn't cool, but just because it made her happy. It made him smile to think of her curled up for hours pouring her thoughts and desires into her stories. He wanted to be someone who inspired her, someone worthy, someone to make her epic romance fantasies a reality. But maybe last night could be the beginning of something really great. He hoped so.
His shift finally finished and he headed back to his house. The first thing he did when he got to his room was put his phone on charge. Maybe Cath had text him while he was working? He left the room while his phone booted up and virtually skipped down the hall to the bathroom. He turned the tap on and let the warm water rain over him as he tried to imagine what Cath would say to him if she had text him. He hoped she would ask to see him tomorrow, or at least that she enjoyed last night. If he tried he could still feel the pressure of her head on his arm, still feel her hair tickle his shoulder. He couldn't wait to see her again. Maybe he could head around tonight after class? He didn't want to crowd her though, she liked to have her own space, and she had a lot of reading to do…
Levi quickly washed and hopped out of the shower. He wrapped his towel loosely round his waist and headed back to his room. The air felt much colder on his wet skin causing him to shiver. As soon as he got to his room he could feel his heartbeat quicken with excitement. He reached for his phone full of anticipation, his buzz increasing as he saw that he had an unread message. He took a deep breath to calm himself and clicked read,
"Hey, you need to have a party tomorrow, I totally forgot about our Outsider test this afternoon and I'm going to need to do some serious comissierating. Seriously sorry about blowing off our study sesh btw. :S
Reagan x"
He liked Reagan, and he was glad she had text him, but he couldn't help feeling annoyed at her for getting his hopes up. Its not like she could know he was wishing it was someone else. He was being foolish, Cath wasn't the text everyday kind of girl. The party really was a good idea, it would be good to catch up with everyone, he'd been spending a lot of time away from the house lately and he'd like to catch up with the guys. Then again, maybe now that Cath knew how he felt, she'd actually come round? He flipped open his phone and begin to type,
"I had a really nice time-"
No
"I just wanted to say thank you for the kiss-"
Definitely not.
"I love you and want to spend every minute with you and I hope you feel the same because you make me feel strong and super vulnerable at the same time and the thought of not seeing you again makes me want to die-"
He kept deleting all of the things he really wanted to say, but was too scared. He declared his love in multiple embarrassing and awkwardly worded texts before scrapping them all in shame and settled for,
"Party? Thursday? My house?"
That would do, casual and friendly, but she would at least know he was thinking about her. Now all he had to do was keep himself busy until she replied.
Levi kept checking his phone throughout the day, it began to become almost like a twitch. He checked it once more before he shoved it in his jeans and made his way to his lit module. He felt optimistic, he actually knew the whole of the book they were being tested on. Thanks to Cath he didn't have to focus on the snippets Reagan usually shared with him. Before he went in he checked his phone one last time before switching it on silent for the test. Maybe she would text while he was in class? He saw Reagan sitting at their usual table and smiled as he shuffled in next to her. She looked a bit rough from whatever she had been up to last night, but she smiled back. They didn't have time to talk before the papers were handed out and silence was demanded by their lecturer who stood authoritatively by the edge of her desk. The questions seemed simple enough to understand now and it wasn't long before Levi had answered all of the questions, read through them, and returned his completed work for marking. Levi decided to wait outside for Reagan, having finished before her for the the first time ever. He checked his phone once more, but he was beginning to feel like he had misread the situation with Cath. He had thought that the kiss had meant something to her too, and that maybe they could see each other more, as more than friends. But maybe she was just tired, and didn't know what she was doing…
By the time Reagan came out of the classroom Levi had decided to ask her if Cath had said anything, he was desperate to know where he stood.
Reagan spoke first,
"Hey, you finished early, obviously you are lost without my study help!"
Levi laughed,
"Actually I finished the paper because I knew all of the answers for a change, no winging it at all! I did have help though"
Reagan smiled knowingly,
"Yeah I heard that Cath read to you and that you fell asleep there...awkward!"
Levi reddened a little,
"Did she say anything else?" he asked hopefully,
"Nope just that she helped you study and that you crashed. No big deal"
Levi's smiled slipped a little, inside his stomach seemed to drop down to his knees and he felt hollow, embarrassed and more than a little disappointed. What had he expected? No one had made any promises or declarations, he had blown this whole thing completely out of proportion. Cath just thought she was doing him a favour, helping her poor dyslexic buddy with his reading. He was a idiot.
Reagan and Levi chatted for a little while longer, but he wasn't feeling very sociable anymore. He left agreeing to see her tomorrow night at the party and left to go home and wallow. He trudged up the several flights of stairs, shoulders sagging and ears ringing with shame. He checked his phone one final time, already feeling his last shred of hope vanish before it was confirmed with the lack of messages. He threw the phone, and then himself on the bed and refused to move for the next few hours.
He was woken abruptly by two of his flatmates cannoning their way into his room one after the other.
"So are you coming to get party supplies dude? We all definitely need some serious chill time, let loose, be young and free and all that and like a bucket load of chips"
Levi blinked at them through sleep crusted eyes completely perplexed,
"W-what supplies" he managed through a yawn.
"Bro, party? Here? Ladies? Bros? Beer? you know...fun? It was your idea."
Oh yea..that party. It didn't seem like such a master plan now that he knew Cath was definitely not coming.
"I don't know guys, I just made an idiot of myself with some girl, who doesn't even like me, and she's Reagans roommate and its totally awkward. I'm not really feeling a party right now"
He sat up to look at his buddies, he wasn't normally this mopey.
"Well Levi, the thing about parties is they are full of other girls, party girls, girls that will definitely like you! Even if you look a bit like a cherub."
Levi couldn't help but smile at the boys enthusiasm. He really could do with having sometime catching up with everyone.
"Ok, you're right, lets go get buy so many chips they won't fit in the truck!"
Levi decided to put his feelings aside and focus on hanging out with the guys.
By the time the party rolled around Levi had decided to just enjoy being around people, enjoy making news friends and generally just be his sociable self. He joked around with the guys, drank a bit too much and showed off his awkward dancing to everyone in sight. Being around people made him happy, and it was nice to be reminded of that. He shared his easy laugh with everyone and offered to fetch some more beers. He wandered into the kitchen his sights set on the fridge and nearly tripped over a girl crying on the kitchen floor. She was crosslegged with her blonde hair sticking dankly to her tear soaked cheeks. Levi smiled down at her and apologised lightly for intruding. She snorted and looked away before abruptly challenging him,
"Why are guys such pigs?!",
Levi looked concerned as he gently shrugged his shoulders,
"We can be but at least not all of the time. Are you ok?"
She gestured savagely at herself,
"Do I look ok? I just got dumped, by text, for some other chick that has nicer hair and bigger boobs than me! What's wrong with me?"
"I'm sorry. You're right, look upset to me. But pretty too, your hair looks great right now, even covered in...stuff"
Levi crouched down next to her and rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. She leant into his hand gratefully and seem to be calming down.
"C'mon lets get you up and fetch you a glass of water"
He held her under her elbows and helped her shakily to her feet.
"I'm Levi by the way" he said cheerfully.
"Amber", she croaked back. Levi thought her voice was probably hoarse from all of the crying.
"Do you really think I'm pretty?" she enquired, her head tilted lazily to the side like her head was too heavy.
"Sure you look great, much too lovely to be sitting on the floor crying! I betcha there are dozens of guys through there that would love to be with you." Levi said with a smile gesturing towards the kitchen door.
"Thanks" she smiled weakly wiping her eyes.
"Eugh I'm all gross and sticky from all the crying", Amber peeled off some of the wet hairs that were stuck to her cheek and then wet a cloth and began to clean her face.
"Its really nice of you to stay with me, I'm such a wreck right now" she said slightly muffled as she continued to clean around her mouth and nose.
"Really its no problem, I hate to see someone so upset" he said running his fingers through his hair casually.
"Well I really appreciate it, I'm sure you would much rather be out there with your friends or girlfriend or whatever"
Levi felt a knot tighten in his stomach as he thought about Cath and they way he had embarrassed himself. He felt rejected but mostly he felt like an idiot for reading more into the situation when she clearly all she wanted was to be friends or maybe not even that anymore.
"And leave you here by yourself? Not a chance." he said pleasantly
"Here let me help," He took the cloth from Amber's hand and cleaned off the last bit of mascara that had smeared over her temple.
"Good as new" he said cheerfully.
Levi was about to turn round and put the cloth back in the sink when Amber took a step towards him and kissed him wetly on the lips. He jumped back in surprise and was about to explain that we didn't feel ready for a relationship when Amber's face crumbled in devastation.
"What's wrong with me?" She shook her head and began backing away.
"I am so sorry I am such an idiot, of course you wouldn't like me, I mean look at you!" she gestured vaguely in his direction as if this offered an apparent explanation.
Levi felt terrible for reacting so badly, he had just caused this girl to feel the same rejection that had been eating him a for the past few days. He may not be able to fix things between him and Cath, but he could at least make Amber feel like she wasn't broken, like she mattered. Just for tonight. He pulled Amber towards him and gently kissed her on the mouth. She responded by pushing back harder and they remained like this, heatedly kissing for a few minutes. She eventually slowed her mouth and pulled back with a smile.
"Thank you, I think I needed that" She straightened her clothes and fixed her hair.
"Glad to be of service" Levi chuckled feeling much less guilty.
"What do you say we forget about heartache for a night and go play some beer pong?"
He held the kitchen door open for her and she laughed lightly and walked out feeling much happier.
"Agreed, buddies?" she smiled hopefully
"Buddies" Levi confirmed.