It all started with truth or dare. We were only twelve and so gay was hardly in our vocabulary. It seemed like an innocent joke when James dared me 'Kiss Remus.' I did it like it was nothing. I was brave. I was also pretty sexy for a twelve year old. But that all added to how simple it was for me. Until our lips met. Or rather, mine caught his. He was nervous, I could see it. But when we kissed, painfully briefly, I felt myself blush. There was a then unknown throbbing between my legs and I wanted more. But the game moved on, to daring Peter to chug butterbeer.
I brought it up again, though, once we were all tucked into sleeping bags on James' bedroom floor, and James and Peter were snoring. I scooched my pillow closer to Remus and asked, "So did you like it?" Of course, he hadn't a clue what I meant. So I added, "Y'know ... kissing." Remus azure eyes grew, you could see it even with the moon as our only light.
"Umm, yes," confessed Remus, "I did."
Looking Remus in the eye, I said, "I never thought about liking boys before. People just kind of expect us to like girls, you know?" Remus nodded, looking kind of sad. I wondered about the reason behind it, so I asked him.
"My dad found my journal when he was unpacking my Hogwarts stuff at the beginning of summer. He wondered about me so he read it and there was a lot of things about you, like dreams I had and all these things about me wondering who it made me. He found me, and he hit me. Told me I was a sick fag." I knew nothing else to do in that moment but reach out and hug him. We fell asleep without another word.
James woke us up the next morning smiling. Guess he was waiting for it to happen for a while.