"Wait!" was the last thing Alexander Hamilton heard before he lost consciousness. A fiery pain coursed through his side and it took everything in him not to scream obscenities into the wind. Losing consciousness was a sweet relief as the hour-long journey back to his home would have been pure agony.
Everyone thought he was dead when he reached his home, but he had a pulse. He was placed on a table in the foyer. In a surge of strength, he demanded not to be placed in his bed. He did not want Eliza to think she would be sleeping where he died. It might have been crazy in the moment but nonetheless, he insisted. Eliza was there already, having been told only a few minutes before.
"Alexander! My God!" Eliza shrieked rushing to his side. The grief overcame her. That pain she felt so eerily familiar to when Philip was dying. She never thought she would see another die in front of her in this way. It was a horror she never thought she would have to endure again. She told herself that what happened to her son would never happen again.
"Not again! Please God not again!" Eliza cried.
Alexander heard none of this until he heard a voice he had not heard in so long.
"Hey, Pops."
"Philip, what are you doing here?" Alexander asked his son who had seemingly come from nowhere.
"To help you," Philip answered.
"Help me?"
"You're dying father," Philip said, "It's not much fun is it?"
It all came back. Weehawken, New Jersey. The Duel. He had been shot and now he was here but where is here?
"Where am I?"
"You're back home, the doctor brought you back here. Don't you remember?" Philip asked with a concerned tone.
Alexander had no recollection of any of this. Suddenly he remembered, "Son, you're dead."
"I am."
"But why am I seeing you?"
"Like I said before, to help you. To help you out of this life."
Alexander didn't understand. His eyes were foggy and he could only see Philip, everything was blurry.
He felt a breeze as a door opened and his wife re-entered. She had just sent a message to her sister to come right away. He hadn't noticed and wished he had held tight to her hand and not let another moment escape without his wife.
"Oh, Alexander!" her voice cried.
"I am so sorry Eliza, I am so so sorry," Alexander stammered.
"Shh, Shh," Eliza said holding his hands.
Alexander was bleeding quite profusely and his bandages did little to staunch the flow of blood. He noticed Eliza had blood on her hands.
"Your hands," Alexander worried.
"Never mind that. It doesn't matter my love," she said leaning to kiss him on his grey lips.
Alexander's skin was quite cold and the parlor of his skin was deathly white. Alexander was shaking then and someone placed a blanket over him.
"I am dying," Alexander said as if he just realized it.
"No no, the doctor will be back soon! He will heal and fix you and you will have years upon years to be foolish," Eliza stammered.
Alexander knew she couldn't know. Alexander knew this pain led to death. During the war, he had seen it and it was now him.
"I only wish I could have done more for you my darling," Alexander said holding Eliza's hands as tight as he could.
"Everything is alright. You don't need to do anything anymore," Eliza said.
"Tell our children I am so sorry I had to pass," Alexander whispered.
"I will," Eliza said.
There came a knocking and Eliza slipped out of his hands to see who it was. It was Angelica and she rushed over to the table.
"Alexander," Angelica said with tears in her eyes. He had never seen Angelica cry and this startled him. Alexander reached up to brush the tears away and that only made Angelica cry more.
"Forgive me," Alexander apologized again. Alexander felt so much guilt for the pain he was causing. He was always causing these women so much pain and now it all came to him. He felt he should have done more, been more open, more willing to be satisfied.
"We forgive you," Angelica said. She honestly didn't know what she was forgiving Alexander for but it seemed to settle him when he heard those words.
"Eliza, Philip is here. Do you see him?" Alexander said pointing to the corner where his son was now standing.
"Yes, my love I see our son. He looks quite proper," Eliza said. She wished she could see what Alexander was seeing and she especially wanted to see Philip. But now she had to content herself with the possibility he was there.
"I'll be with him. I see Washington, Laurens and my mother over there. They're on the other side," Alexander seemed to sigh in happiness, "I wish you were coming."
"I will be with you soon," Eliza.
"My love, take your time. I'll see you on the other side," Alexander said, "I'll keep an eye on our son. You don't have to worry about him."
Alexander closed his eyes but he was not dead. For the first time in his life, he was still and thinking only one thing. How lucky he was to have been alive.
"Please do not be saddened by my passing. You will think of me for a bit but I want you to go on," he said quietly.
"But I cant go on without you. I need you, I've always needed you!"
"Eliza you've never needed me," he said, "but I will never leave you again."
Then gripping their hands seemed to be so hard and he eventually let go. Speaking was so hard now. Everything was so hard to do. He could no longer hear things correctly. His thoughts seemed foggier and foggier
Angelica was looking down at the man she always secretly loved and to see him die was unbearable. She noticed he did not fight death as she might of, he was simply ready.
Now he really was about to die and the pain had finally subsided and he felt different. Young even. He could now hear and see things correctly. Thoughts came to him as easily as ever.
"Hey pops," Philip said.
"Why is there no pain?"
"You've died," Philip said softly.
Alexander sat up and noticed there was no blood. He got off of the table and noticed a corpse on the table. It was obviously his and the two sisters still clutching the lifeless hands.
He walked over to Eliza and kissed her on the cheek. She felt something on her cheek but she had no idea what it was. Alexander went over to Angelica and embraced her. She felt something cold come over her but thought it was only the window.
"Ready pops?"
"Not yet. I want to stay for a bit longer. Is that permitted?"
"Anything you want is permitted here," Philip smiled.
Alexander decided to stay the rest of the day. He wanted to make sure Eliza was alright before he left her. As much as he wished to stay with her until she died, he was also eager to reunite with his mother and everyone he had fought with. Eliza would be alright, she had Angelica and her courage.
That night he had followed Eliza into their room, which she would have to get used to calling 'her room'. She was sitting weeping by the light of the moon. It hurt Alexander to see his beloved this way. He had to let her know he was alright. He noticed then a stack of his old love letters on her side table., most of them had been burned but a few remained.
He took a letter and wafted the letter towards her. This letter was one he had sent her from the war, in Yorktown perhaps. To Eliza, it seemed a small gust of wind sent this piece of paper to her. She reopened it and saw what it said:
Dearest Elizabeth,
I cannot begin to express how much I love you! I had imagined death so much it feels like a memory. I feared when it was going to get me. I used to wonder if I should run or let it be. But when I am with you these fears are erased. Elizabeth Schuyler, you truly have made my life worth living. You have kept me sane during this war and for that, I think this war is ending.
I cannot express the joy I feel when I think of you carrying our son. Eliza, you've made me the happiest man in the world and it would be a shame if you did not know that. My love, I shall be home soon.
Fondly,
Alexander Hamilton
Eliza clutched the letter tightly and looked out the window and up to the heavens.
Alexander now knowing Eliza was taken care of and ensuring to Eliza he loved her he was content. So long as Eliza knew he would watch over her, he could go in peace. He kissed her one last time and said, "I love you." He knew she could not hear him but it was the thought that mattered. He knew he wouldn't get to say it again for a very long time.
Philip then appeared again and took his father's hand. Without a word they walked to the window and passed through.
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