Winter in my Heart, but Looking for Spring…

"Just promise me one thing. Find someone.

I don't need anyone.

Yes, you do. Because sometimes I think you, need someone to stop you.

Yea…"

Runaway Bride

He had driven her away, first, Donna and then Martha Jones. Course, Donna really didn't have the constitution for his wild and dangerous lifestyle or maybe she wasn't ready for it. Whatever the case he was now alone once more. He sighed. He had a bit of trouble with the Titanic crashing through his ship. He smirked, like a ship within a bottle. He had fixed that problem, but his hearts really weren't into it. He was just going through the motions. He had lost his friend and his only rival, what seemed like a few days before. What could one random Time Lord do? Travel to New New York? Nah, it seemed like he had nothing but bad luck there. It pained him too much, first Rose and now Martha. He couldn't walk back where there feet had been. Therefore, he pondered what he was going to do. He sighed and laid his head down on the console, there was something so very peaceful about the hum of the TARDIS. It was a connection to home and he sighed and rubbed it gingerly. "Hello old girl…." Suddenly the hum of his ship suddenly changed as the TARDIS change course. The Doctor lifted his head. "Where are you taking me now?"

Abruptly, his TARDIS dematerialized. He grinned and rushed out the doors. He seemed to be in a nice little house. Peaking out the window from one of the curtains, he looked outside to see if he could figure out where he was. Earth, it looked like Earth. He decided to look around a bit. A bit curious to know where he was. He went up the stairs and found himself in a room with various pictures. He was pleasantly surprised to see a picture of the Brigadier and of Harry Sullivan. He suddenly grinned; the TARDIS had brought him to Sarah Jane's home. However, Sarah Jane was nowhere in sight. She must be out, busy with her life. Good for her, he was glad she was out living her life. Since he was in an old friend's home, he decided to make himself at home. Sarah Jane would not mind, would she? He wandered down the stairs and plopped himself down on the couch. Maybe he would watch a little television. He turned on the telly and started to watch some random soap opera. He changed channels. He had cycled through most of the channels not satisfied as he had already seen most of this programming. He decided to work on Sarah Jane's television. In a few minutes, he had various components, wires and whatnot of the television spewed all over the room as he proceeded to boost the reception of the television set. The door opened and a weary looking Sarah Jane entered along with her adopted son Luke. She gasped more at the man in the pinstripe suit then at the mess. "Doctor….."

The Doctor grinned, "Hello Sarah Jane. Hope you don't mind me dropping in."

Sarah Jane smiled, "Not at all Doctor. You're always welcome and what on Earth are you doing to my television set?"

The Doctor grinned, "Well I decided that you're not getting enough stations. I thought you might like some other stations. As soon as I am done, you'll get twenty thousand stations."

Sarah Jane sighed; she knew the Doctor had come for more than just fixing her television. He always had a reason for his visits. Nevertheless, she was happy to see him. Whatever the reason, she was glad he had decided to stop in his wanderings to pop in on her.

The Doctor's glance went towards Luke. "Who's this?"

Sarah smiled, "This is Luke, my son."

The Doctor frowned a bit, "You have a son now? How long have I have been gone?"

Sarah chuckled lightly. She did not say adopted, only because part of her wanted to tease the Doctor, just once. She knew part of this was being mean, but the Doctor popped in and out so randomly among everyone that perhaps he deserved to be thrown off guard just once, "He's….I've adopted him. It's a long story."

"Oh and here all this time I thought…." The Doctor then suddenly waved at Luke, "Hello…."

Luke looked at him a bit confused. He knew that his mother, his adopted mother, talked about a man called the Doctor and her adventures through Space and Time. His mother always spoke of him with a fondness. So actually putting a name to a face was something he could now actually do, but he still felt a bit awkward. His mum and he were coming home to enjoy a cup of tea, after fighting the Slitheen to find the Doctor, a 'strange man' in his mum's house. The Doctor did not seem to mind it and neither did his mum. It was as if it was expected. "Mum….is it alright for guests just to make themselves at home? I thought you told me that…."

Sarah laughed, "I did. But the Doctor is well….he's just given a bit more leeway then most guests."

The Doctor grinned, "Yep, that's me. I get VIP privileges."

Sarah nodded and then said to Luke, "Luke…could you put on the kettle?" She hoped that Luke might actually be able to put on the kettle for tea and not end up making a dozen mistakes in the process. Despite the fact that Luke was very bright, sometimes he struggled with the simplest things. She made sure that she had taught him how to put on the kettle, so she hoped that Luke could manage well enough on his own. Luke went off and Sarah turned to the Doctor. "Doctor….I know you're not just here to work on my television set although it's nice to see you again and where's Rose?"

The Doctor sighed; he had not seen Sarah Jane since that time at the school. The last time he had, he had Rose with him. It was inevitable that Sarah would mention her, "She's fine. She's safe with her family."

"But she's not with you."

The Doctor nodded and took a seat on the couch, "You know anything about the Cyberman Invasion?"

Sarah nodded, "I do. K9 and I fended them off."

The Doctor grinned, "Good thing I gave you K9 and speaking of which where is he?"

Sarah sighed, "I sort of loaned him out. Don't worry he'll be home one of these days."

The Doctor sighed, "You know I meant for K9 to…." He wanted to say that k9 had been there to fill in for him not being there all the time, but he could not manage to say it.

Sarah Jane seeming to know that her old friend, could not finish the sentence said, "I know, but it's for a good cause. He's closing off a Black Hole."

"Ahh….can't argue with that. Anyway where was I?"

"Cyberman invasion," Sarah Jane said calmly.

"Yes of course. Well anyway, Cybermen. Daleks, parallel universes. Torchwood and Canary Warf. Rose and I we were together, trying to fix all that mess but…" The Doctor sighed, "Rose got pulled in. I….I…tried. I tried so hard not to lose her, but…."

The Doctor paused a moment "All that matters is she's safe. I did not break my promise to Jackie. I promised her I'd keep her daughter safe and I did."

Sarah nodded she knew the Doctor was trying hard not to be choked up but, it was hard to see the man that she loved so torn up. She knew that the only way to get him to feel better was to open up about it. However, she knew the Doctor could be stubborn and getting him to open up his inner most feelings could sometimes be difficult. He was being melancholy. It was a mood that he had, which did not seem to change, even though he had regenerated so many times. She was use to him being that way. She remembered him sometimes being in such a mood, and she would tease him, and sometimes goad him, doing anything to get him to break out of that mood. Sometimes it worked, other times it did not. She put a hand on his shoulder. She knew that teasing him now was not what he needed. He had come to her as a shoulder to cry on. He needed her to talk to and to share his inner most thoughts. Even though the Doctor and she were friends, perhaps more than friends, she felt…. She paused in her thoughts, honored? Maybe that was too grand a word to describe the fact that the Doctor had come to her, but here he was an alien, so very old and so wise beyond that young face he carried and he had come to her. It meant that he cherished the friendship that they both had.

"Then you should be happy that you were able to keep your promise." She knew that for the Doctor to keep promises was hard. After all, she had always thought that the Doctor would come back and instead it had taken all these years for him to return the first time. She had been so worried all those years thinking he had been dead. They had said good-bye because Sarah Jane did not want to pin her heart on the hopes that he would come back. So here he was and it was obvious that he needed her now.

"I am." He said but then he lowered his head sadly, "But I am not. I….she made me happy, Sarah Jane, and now she's out of my life forever and what's worse…." The Doctor paused as he spoke for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. Sarah suddenly began to wonder what could be even worse than losing someone he cared for.

"I….." The Doctor stammered, "I met another…I …I didn't mean to. In fact, I have to say that….this has been the only time I ever…I drove a human away. I…tried….tried so hard to get on with my life but…I…I let my emotions get in the way. And because of it she left me."

Sarah sighed and gave the Doctor a light squeeze and she decided to tease him a bit. She only hoped that it would lighten his gloomy mood. "It can't be that bad can it? I mean look at it this way. You didn't drive me away. You left me and of all places in Aberdeen. The way you are going, you are setting a new all time record. Go past the meeting and getting to know people and go automatically for the break up. Saves you time and grief."

The Doctor smiled a wane smile, "Oh my Sarah Jane. I never said I was sorry, for leaving you, did I? Not that I could help it. I was called back home. I never knew you'd feel….I just assumed you'd get on with your life."

"I got over it, Doctor. Hard as it was. I was more worried about you. You never called, you never wrote. You never even let me know you were alive. Yea, I know you are a tough old Time Lord, but still it would have been easier to get on with my life if I had only known you were alive."

The Doctor sighed, "I was busy. You know me. I got sort of caught up in things and…."

Sarah smiled and shook her head, "And one thing lead to another and you forgot all about me."

The Doctor grinned, "Nah, I thought about you all the time. I wondered how Sarah Jane is doing."

Sarah snorted, "Sure you did. Took you all this time to finally step back into my life."

"Yep, better late then never…" The Doctor said with a smirk on his face.

Sarah nodded; the old spark in the Doctor was back. For how long, she did not know. However, he seemed to be bouncing back. She then said, "Then you can always make amends, Doctor. Go back to her and say you're sorry for treating her so poorly."

The Doctor nodded, "Quite right, Sarah Jane. Quite right." He could always go back to Martha Jones and say he was sorry about how he treated her. True, she might not go back with him, after all that had happened. At least trying to make amends was better than nothing at all.

A loud crashing noise sounded and Sarah Jane ran into the kitchen. The Doctor followed her. They found Luke had managed to make tea. Sarah had never asked him to. She looked a bit skeptical. The kitchen looked a bit of a mess. Almost as bad as the living room where the Doctor had managed to make a mess of her television. Luke said, "I made tea, mum."

The Doctor grinned, "I can see that." He took a cup of tea took a sip and made a face. Sarah picked up her cup and drunk it, it had a very salty taste to it. Luke must have added salt to the tea rather than sugar. She too made a face. "Well it's the thought that counts."

The Doctor nodded, "Yep. Although I must say this is the first time I had tea like this." He ruffled Luke's hair a bit and down the tea in one solid gulp. Sarah slightly envied the Doctor; at least in one gulp, he was able to drink boiling hot tea. She on the other hand had to sip the salty mixture. Luke took a sip of the tea and made a bit of a face. "I added the wrong ingredient didn't I?"

Sarah nodded, "It's alright, Luke. Next time I'll teach you the difference between salt and sugar."

The Doctor smiled, "Well I suppose I should get back to fixing up your television." He grabbed a few biscuits that Luke had managed to dig out of one of Sarah's cupboards and slipped them into his coat pockets. He then walked out of the kitchen leaving Luke and Sarah to finish their tea.

END OF PART ONE

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A/N: Okay to all those who usually read my writings, I am sorry it's taken so long to actually write something due to circumstances in RL, mostly school related, which resulted in me being very depressed. (It's a long story that could fill a page in itself.) And being depressed is very bad for me because it resorted in me having writers block. I am finally coming back to writing. I am not sure when I'll update any of my other pieces but I am happy to say that I am actually writing again. Anyway, this piece is based on a fan vid I did on YouTube, which actually sparked my brain into writing something. Please check it out on my account. CuteGallifreyian.