The old fisherman yawned, then blinked twice. Reflexively, he moved a hand in front of his eyes to shield them from the morning sun. A seagull screamed as it flew past the window. He flinched slightly then grunted in annoyance at being awake so early.
He took a deep breath then exhaled. He hadn't slept well and he needed tea. He stretched hard and let out a sharp groan. He then pulled the quilt off himself and slid his feet out of bed and sat up.
For a moment, he slumped over, holding his weight with a hand on a knee. He ached and was thankful it would be a few more days before he had to go back out to sea.
He looked down at the wrinkled hand on his knee. He wasn't sure when he had begun thinking of himself as the old fisherman. In truth, he was no longer sure how old he was. He supposed he just hadn't thought about it much. He was older than either of his parents had lived to be but still much younger than the oldest people he'd ever met.
He made a small chuckle at the idea of thinking of himself as 'people'. He wondered at what point he had started doing that as well.
He coughed and stood up, hearing the wooden boards of the floor creak with his movement. There was a knock at the door and then he heard Lily say, "Are you awake, Remus? Coming down for breakfast and tea soon, I hope."
"Just a moment and I'll be right down," Remus called, suddenly realising how dry his mouth was.
"Great. See you soon," Lily replied and he listened as she walked down the stairs.
It took more than just a moment for Remus to enter the lavatory. After he'd emptied his bladder he went to the sink to brush his teeth. He stopped to look at the face in the mirror. He brought his hand up to feel the lines of his face, closing his eyes.
Fingers traced the indentation of the scar that ran from the left corner of his mouth across his cheek. He had no memory of receiving the wound that created the scar but he remembered, painfully, everything that came after. He had hoped it would fade with age but it never had.
Another scar ran vertically across his right eyebrow. He couldn't recall giving himself it but he remembered waking up with it, his own doing. That was the day he met him and he would never forget that.
Remus sighed and opened his eyes. His hair was completely grey now but he didn't look nearly as old as he felt, he realized. His brown eyes were still bright and his vision was not bad. Though he could feel the lines of his face with his fingers they weren't as visible as he thought.
He squinted at himself then shook his head. He couldn't possibly be that old. He was no older than James or Lily, he was certain of that and he recalled Lily turning sixty-two not long ago.
Remus went ahead and brushed his teeth, using the minty herbal paste Lily made. Remus worried he had never taken very good care of his teeth but still had most of them and the ones he lost had not been from poor dental hygiene.
He went back to his room and put on a deeply faded brown shirt and trousers. He didn't even bother with boots, instead putting on slippers, before finally walking down the old wooden staircase to the kitchen below.
Lily was sitting at the dining table, sipping tea from a large red mug. She looked at Remus mid-sip, raised an eyebrow then set down her mug.
"That was a long moment, Remus," Lily said, sit her mug down, then with a gesture of her hand added, "Your tea's gone cold."
Lily reached over and slightly motioned with her fingers over the cup. There was a small, nearly imperceptible red glow followed by a wisp of steam rising from the cup.
There was also some buttered toast on a plate that he didn't suppose Lily's fingers could fix without burning it. Remus sat down and took a bite of the toast, which wasn't as cold as he expected, then took a sip of the tea.
The tea was perfect. Lily's spiced tea tasted vaguely of cinnamon and cardamom and managed to warm his body without stinging his mouth, even without milk and honey. The flavour reminded Remus a plant he had once tasted as a child but those leaves grew on the other side of the world. He had tried to find them elsewhere many times and was confident there was no way Lily was using them.
After forty years, Remus still didn't know where Lily's powers came from or what she was. She had consistently claimed to be human, but then again she believed Remus was just as human as she was and he thought they both knew better than that.
Whatever Lily was she didn't seem to have passed it onto her son Harry or her grandchildren, as far as Remus knew.
Lily was certainly capable of some impossible things but Remus supposed he was a bit of an impossible thing himself and shouldn't judge.
"How old are you Lily? Sixty-two, right?" Remus asked, trying to sound casual.
"Sixty-three," Lily answered, giving Remus a look of confusion.
"Hmm," Remus said and looked her over.
Lily's hair was still red, though not as dark as it once was. Her eyes were the same beautiful green as the day they met. She had aged since then but he didn't think she looked old.
"Something wrong?" Lily asked.
"No, it's nothing. Just admiring how gracefully you've aged, my dear friend," Remus replied and raised his mug to her in honour.
Lily's red, painted lips smirked and she said, "Thank you, Remus. Want some more toast?"
She was wearing a dark blue dress and a seashell necklace which hung down just above her bosom that her son's wife had made for her as a Midwinter gift a few years back.
"Yes, thank you," Remus replied then was startled by a sudden tap at the window.
Sitting on the windowsill was what some would call a bird, though Remus preferred to call it "one of James's amazing mechanical creations." It looked more like a metallic shell of a bird than an actual bird, even if it moved just like a real bird.
It was holding in its beak a piece of paper which Lily grabbed after opening the window. She leaned against the kitchen counter and read it carefully. After finishing, she closed the paper and looked away from Remus, expressionless. Finally, she sat down and set the paper on the table in front of him.
"It's Harry and Ginny. They think they've finally found him," Lily said and Remus felt his heart stop at the way she said 'him'.
Lily's eyes were wide and expectant and she didn't appear to be breathing. Remus desperately wanted to say something but he felt frozen in place, unable to react.
Lily exhaled, closed her eyes and wet her lips. She opened her eyes and brushed a strand of hair from them then continued: "There's word of an island where a man who calls himself Captain Black resides. He works as a trader for an entire cluster of islands. Has an impressive reputation, Harry says."
Remus unconsciously touched his lips with the tips of two fingers. He could feel old pain rising and he wanted nothing more than to swallow it down, as he always did. Remus removed his hand, sighed, then shook his head in denial.
"Sirius Black is dead, Lily and not a captain," Remus replied and took a sip of tea.
"Harry says he's positive it's him, Remus. He's a tall, dark haired man. Harry couldn't get a confirmation on his name but was told he was named after a star," Lily said.
Remus felt his heart stop again. He had given up hope of ever finding Sirius Black many, many years ago. He had suffered and mourned for many years before finally growing to accept that it was true.
Harry and Ginny had never given up their own search for reasons he didn't understand. They had never exactly claimed to have found him before but if Remus were to allow himself to hope or believe now would only open him up to more pain.
"I can't, Lily. Sirius is dead. I have accepted this," Remus said, remaining firm on the outside, no matter the war inside of him.
Lily huffed and placed her hands flat on the table and leaned forward in his direction. Her green eyes blazed at him with an unexpected fury.
"You're not the only one here who cares about Sirius Black, Remus. What about James? Sirius was his best friend. What about me? What about Harry? What about-" Lily stopped herself before saying the last one.
She looked away, closing her eyes and quietly finished, "What about Peter?"
Remus felt a small pain at the mention of Peter Pettigrew. None of them saw much of their old friend Pete anymore. Peter blamed himself for the loss of Sirius and Remus sometimes felt inclined to agree with him, even though in a way Peter had been a victim himself.
Lily had turned back and was now sitting back up in her chair, looking austere.
"There's a storm coming. It might be bad, very bad in fact. Before he left James warned me it would be the worst one since… the last one," Lily said with a frown.
Remus made a small nod, the corner of his mouth twitching in an attempt at a frown. He could always feel a storm coming. It was like vibrations in the wind. He could almost smell it. Even with his transformations held at bay, thanks to Lily, he could still feel his skin tingle.
"I know. Even more reason not to be chasing after ghosts, lest I end up one myself," Remus said, and took a final sip of his tea.
"What if he's out there and he doesn't know it's coming, Remus?" Lily said.
"He's not out there," Remus answered, and waved his hand dismissively.
"I can't believe after all this time I'm having to try and convince you to go after him. He's alive, Remus! I can feel it. I know it's true," Lily said and Remus could see tears forming in her eyes.
"I don't do big storms anymore, Lils. You've made sure I don't have to," Remus said.
"Maybe if you're fast you can beat the storm. Harry and Ginny sent exact coordinates to the island," Lily pleaded, her voice sounding desperate and strained.
Remus could see the pain in her face, her posture and most of all, her eyes. It was hard not to be moved by the pain she was feeling. He wanted to say yes, if only to make her stop hurting. He wanted to scream it out and run to his boat and set sail immediately. But could he give in? Could he break down the wall he put up so long ago to protect himself?
Remus stared at Lily and said nothing for a moment. He didn't know what he wanted to say or how he even felt.
"Let me think about it. I'm going out for a walk. I'll let you know my decision when I return," Remus said, then got up and grabbed his jacket from the hook.
Remus headed towards the door when Lily pointed at his feet said, "Slippers?"
Remus groaned and looked down at his feet. He then quickly marched back up the stairs and changed them out for his leather boots.
Minutes later he was stepping outside James and Lily's home and walking to the edge of the cliff it sat on. At the cliff's edge was a lever embedded into stone which was connected to mechanism out of which stretched a long chain. Remus pulled the lever and the chain began to pull a cart up from the ground below, steadily moving up at angle, rattling loudly as it went.
James had installed this as a faster way of getting down to the village than walking all the way down the path. Remus had always been more than a little leery of it but there had never been any accidents, yet.
Once Remus was inside the metal box he pulled a lever from inside the cart which sent the cart back to the ground. He glanced at the village with its shambling old wooden houses, pubs filled with probably heavily intoxicated fisherman, and a quietly bustling marketplace. That wasn't where he was going right now.
He glanced down the cobblestone path that lead away from the village and up towards the island's north-western corner. There he would find his destination.
Remus remembered a time when the village was no more than a few dozen houses that were barely standing and he remembered the storm that nearly destroyed them all with the vengeance of an angry sea.
Remus walked along the path for some time, following it around until he had reached his destination.
The lighthouse was no longer run by anyone in particular. James had modified it years ago to essentially work on its own. It only required a bit of maintenance and looking after from time to time. On the outside by the morning light you'd never know it was functional at all. Vines had grown up the sides, the steps leading up to the door were now covered in grass and flowers and much of the paint was faded.
Remus had argued for years that someone should run in the lighthouse and had even offered to do it himself. Lily didn't think it was a good idea for Remus to be on his own and James promised that his mechanism would reliably shine the beacon as long as it was maintained.
Remus didn't walk to the door of the lighthouse. Instead, he marched down to the water. He hadn't been down here in at least a decade but he would never forget the spot.
Remus walked over to a particular stone just a few feet from the water's edge. It was covered with dirt which Remus knelt down to brush off. On the rock was carved:
"SB to RL, I Will Always Light Your Way".
Seeing the words were like a sudden knife in Remus's heart and before he knew it was happening he was sobbing. His hand touched the muddy ground and dug in. This was the spot where they had met.