MattsUke: I will be updating all my stories this week by the way... If there is one you want me to update sooner please tell me!!!! So yeah...This is a series of crack-fics, in the form of bedtime stories that are told at Whammy House; a.k.a: really random crack/roleplay/yeah…. Written by two Mellos for the rest of the world (especially Nears) to cower in fear.. I mean, oops that's a different story… These were written while we were half asleep and bored as hell. If you have any ideas or just want to test my creative genius by trying to give me an idea so outrageous that nobody could ever make a story out of it, go right ahead. I will credit you for the idea, and prove that there is no idea too crazy for me. So hit me with your best shot and please review. There is a refernce to one of my OCs… If you haven't read my other stuff or Photographs by MattPupp, you wont know him. His name is Far (in this he goes by Add). He is a little badass, ADD, perv photographer in black silk PJs… obsessed with Near.

P.S: These are written by two Mellos… Flamablechoklit and I… Near-centric stories –beware-

Yea…. REVIEW!

Flamablechoklit: Too tired to think… Waffles. If you don't review I will do something of an unpleasant nature to your internal organs. Hell yeah.

Once upon a time there was a plane, but this wasn't any ordinary plane, it was a black fighter jet with big fancy guns. His name was Grr-roar-grr. Grr-roar-grr was a special jet that used chocolate as fuel.

Grr-roar-grr had a friend. He was a black and white striped fighter jet, with orange tinted windows. He spent most of his time playing with the locater monitor on his dashboard. His engines where always smoking. His name was Woof.

One day, Grr-roar-grr and Woof were flying around, the former bitching about his placement on a recent exam when suddenly he crashed into a small white helicopter. The helicopter, know as Sheep, plummeted to the ground were the rescue vehicle known as Panda came rushing over. Sheep was so happy to see him because he wanted to be a rescue vehicle too.

This upset Grr-roar-grr. He wanted very much to be better than Sheep but, because of all his fancy guns, he could never become a rescue vehicle.

Grr-roar-grr was watching mournfully as Panda repaired Sheep, when suddenly Koala, the red rescue vehicle sped onto the scene. Grr-roar-grr flew over, seeing this new rescue vehicle. It was equipped with big fancy guns, too! He realized that he wanted to be just like Koala.

Sheep looked up at Grr-roar-grr before his repairs were finished accidentally shooting static electricity at Panda and Koala sticking them together in a compromising position. Now, no one is really sure what a compromising position for rescue vehicles looks like, but trust me, they were in it. While in that position, however, they decided to go do what was easiest and retreated around the corner.

Woof, who had been playing with the locater this whole time fly blindly into Grr-roar-grr who banged into Sheep who had just gotten himself airborne. It was now a very angry Grr-roar-grr and a now pink Sheep (that is what happens when helicopters blush… they turn pink) that found then self stuck together via static.

Sheep shrugged and said "Two's company." as Grr-roar-grr fought to free himself. Woof laughed at the scene as a flash that looked like a camera went off. It was none other than the black reconnaissance helicopter Add. The flash, however, startled Woof and he fell into the other two, now attached as well and with a sigh said, "Three's a crowd." Add just smirked and flew over purposely attaching himself and said, "And four's an orgie."

It was about this time that Koala and Panda came back from doing well, each other, with there trunks still open and some of the upholstery still in disarray. Then like magic Grr-roar-grr managed to pull away Woof still attached to him. He shot Woof's locater device so he could no longer play. Together they flew off to attempt to imitate what the two rescue vehicles had just done.

Panda and Koala saw no reason to stick around and retreated back for round two.

This left Sheep and Add stuck together. Sheep looked at Add and turned an even darker shade of pink. Add just perv-snickered, and truthfully, we'd rather not know what was going on in side of that helicopter.

And they all lived happily ever after…

Or at least they had a fun night…

Or so it seems…

Well…

Ok…

At least they all got laid…