Since I still can't come up with any inspiration for PCA, I decided to write this to get my creative juices flowing. Sorry if it's crappy, I'm writing this on my iPad. And, uh, also sorry if it' too cheesy. Lol.
I own nothing!
I paused, taking a deep breath, peering behind the thick, velvet curtain again. He was sitting there. Right there in the front. With her. I inhaled sharpley. He looked so different now, more mature and defined. I don't believe it's been two years since I last saw him. And here he is once again. The longer I looked, the more nervous I got. Butterflies started a rampage in my stomach, and suddenly my mouth tasted like pennies.
"Ally, you can do this," Trish whispered encouragely, handing me the mic. "Remember why you're doing this. I nodded, taking more deep breaths and trying to think positive. Giving Trish one last greatful smile, I walked onto the stage for the first time in six years.
The crowd stopped chatting and focused on me. I felt his eyes bore into me, making me glance at him. His jaw had dropped slightly, and his eyes suddenly travelled up and down my body, analyzing me. I searched the crowd for a friendly face but found none, making the buterflies turn into bats.
"Ally Dawson?" a man read off his clipboard, eyeing me over his glasses as he did so. I gulped and took a deep breath.
"You can start you audition now," he said, folding his arms. Okay Ally, I thought to myself, you can do this! So what if he's in then crowd with her? Screw him; you're here to get into the institution of your dreams. Don't let him get in the way. You. Can. Do. This.
"Everything's cool, yeah.
It's all gonna be okay, yeah.
And I know maybe I'll even laugh about
it someday, but not today, no.
Cause I don't feel so good, I'm tangled
up inside. My heart is on my sleeve.
Tomorrow is a mystery to me."
An original song I wrote after the incident. Right after he chose fame and her over me. I remember that fateful night like it was yesterday.
Flashback
"Ally, I need to talk to you," he started, running through his hair. I walked over to him, concerned,
"What? Is this about the record deal?" I carefully asked my boyfriend. Just a week earlier, he had recieved an email from a record producer over in L.A. Apparently, Cassidy had recogmended him when they were looking for a new muscian. It would be perfect, but only he can go.
"Yeah. So uh, Cassidy and I were talking last night..." I rolled my eyes. This was no news for me. Recently it's been Cassidy this and Cassidy that and it's been driving not only me crazy, but Trish and Dez as well.
"And?"
"I'm going. My plane leaves tonight."
I narrowed my eyes, "Tonight?! But... That's so soon. Do Trish and Dez know about this?"
He rubbed his neck, "Well, no not really. But...there's more."
I searched his face, "What?"
"I... I really don't know how to say this... Please don't... It's just... I... you..."
I put my hand on his cheek, "Just say it, Austin."
"I...I'm breaking up with you." I ripped my hand from his cheek, staring at him in shock.
"W-what?"
"I just... I don't do long distant relationships..." he trailed off. A whirlwind of emotions swept through me. First shock, then hurt, then pure anger.
"why Austin? Am I not good enough for you anymore?" I demanded, tears stinging my eyes.
"N-no! It's just... Cassidy-" I didn't wait for an explanation. I knew what he wanted to say, I could see it in hs eyes. All this time, she was like his... guilty pleasure. With tears falling freely now, I brought up my hand and slapped him. Hard. Even though my hand stung, and my heart was now shattered into a million peices, what hurt the most was that I still loved him.
End Flashback
"And it might be wonderful.
It might be magical.
It might be everything
I've waited for, a miracle.
Oh, but even if I fall in love again with someone new.
It could never be the way
I loved you."
A year after he left, I met Dallas and we started dating, but all the while, there was a deep, hollow void in my heary that couldn't be filled. It is still hard becuase I'm still hurting.
"Letting you go, is
making me feel so cold, yeah.
And I've been trying to
make believe it doesn't hurt.
But that makes it worse, yeah.
See I'm a wreck inside,
my tounge is tied,
and my whole body feels so weak.
The future may be all I really need."
Trish, Dallas and I moved to New York a few months ago, so I could audtition for Julliard. The idea was that if you can prove that you are talented enough to entertain people, then you're in. It was always just a small crowd, nothing huge. It was Dallas' idea, actually. I think after two years of our relationship, he could tell that I just wasn't happy in Miami anymore. He just didn't know why, but understands that Trish and I aren't comfortable in telling him. He figured that I had a great musical future ahead, so he suggested Julliard.
"And it might be wonderful.
It might be magical.
It might be everything
I've waited for, a miracle.
Oh, but even if I fall in love again with someone new.
It could never be the way
I loved you"
Like a first love,
My one and only true love,
Wasn't it written all over my face?
I loved you like you loved me,
Like something pure and holy,
Like something that could never be replaced
My eyes met Austin's, and for a second, we held each other's gaze. As I sang the third verse, I kept my gaze glued onto him. I could see something in his eyes. What was it? Guilt? He should feel it, especially after the way he left us. The way he left me. Our friendship was everything to me. Our relationship was that and more. It was... magical.
"And it was wonderful,
It was magical,
It was everything I've waited for,
A miracle
And if I should ever fall in love again
with someone new,
(Ohh,)
It could never be the way,
No it will never be the way
I loved you"
I took a bow and walked off stage, giving Trish a hug.
"Where's Dallas?"
"Nature called," Trish said, "You did great, Ally."
"I saw him," I whispered to Trish, tears stinging in my eyes. She rubbed my back comfortingly. Before she could even say anything, a voice spoke up from behind us.
"I'm sorry," he said. I shook my head, refusing to turn around and see him.
"Please Ally," he pleaded, "Forgive me."
"Why should she, huh?" Trish asked, "Especially after everything you put her though. Give one good reason."
"...I love her." I bit my lip. And it only took him three years to finally realise that. Too bad I'm moving on now.
There it is. I'll try and update soon for PCA, promise!
Sammie