Jesus: The Forgotten Years
Prologue
"Jesus, turn that music down!" snaps God, about to lose his patience. Here he was, trying to create a new animal (Dodo version 264), and his son was playing some of the worst music possible at top volume. What boy listened to Justin Beiber, work of the devil?
His son, apparently. Jesus comes running downstairs, pants halfway down his legs, underwear showing. "Dad, lay off, it's cool. God, you're so behind..." mutters the teenager (who was still annoyed at how long puberty was taking him).
"Ha ha, very funny. I don't have to be 'cool', son, I have a planet to run," God points out, "now, come help your father with the dodo." Jesus pulls a face. This never went well.
"Dad, the dodos are a rubbish species. And why does this version have three legs?" he demands, looking closely at the blueprints. At least this time wasn't a "screw blueprints, I'm God" time, which never went well, because even God needed blueprints when designing a new animal.
Or recreating a failed one.
"Son, I'm proud of my dodos," snaps God, "it has three legs so it can run faster." Jesus frowns, narrowing his eyes in the best "wtf" look he could give his father.
"Dad, three legs won't make it go faster. It'll just trip over. It'll be a complete embarrassment. And you know all the angels laugh at me when your creations go wrong," he mutters the last part, mostly to himself.
It was true - the angels had long since worked out that considering he created the universe, God didn't always have the best ideas (Just look at how the unicorns turned out!) Of course, you couldn't argue with God, in case he had your existence deleted.
...His son on the other hand...
"Well, does my Justin Beiber Worshiper want to give it a try?" snaps God, "go on!" Jesus glares at him.
"What's wrong with Justin Beiber?" demands Jesus, eyes going starry as he says his name.
"He's a rotten singer, looks like a girl, and I hate him," mutters God, "next you'll be telling me you like Rebecca Black..."
Jesus frowns, "but, dad...she's a great singer. Don't you love her song, Friday?" God rises from his seat, an angry glint in his eyes.
"Son...you're grounded."
"What? Dad, not again! Do you know how hard it is to convince people you're the son of God these days?" demands Jesus.
"Think about that before saying you like these...these...things!"
"They're singers, dad."
And that was how Jesus found himself being reborn on Earth in the twenty first century, with puberty yet to come.
AN: Please do not be offended. I got hyper whilst studying for my RS exam, and I came up with a bunch of random stuff. So, this fanfic is Jesus in the modern times. Complete crack, not to be taken seriously. If deeply religious...eh...don't read?
Otherwise, have fun!