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A/N: Drabble about Angie.
Because I'm too lazy to actually write a bio.
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she was complicated
I can only speculate her existence
She was never close enough for me to be certain
Her character was impossibly eradicate
Unpredictable
Insane
Anything and everything she did was odd
She was alive like no one else could be in some maddening state of death
Her emotion never bled into her words
Unless she was provoked
No one neared her
Each and every person feared her
She was untouchable;
like a god living in a mortal world
People would part to let her pass
Not one could call themselves her friend
Afraid that she would laugh
Her hollow, empty laugh
' do you even know me. '
It was never a question
Her questions were statements
Daring anyone to defy her
No one dared
She had these things called acquaintances
What I would call friends
Only she would never care enough for that
When they ran out of jokes or stories or money
or MaryJane
She was done with them
Each and every friend I had was once her acquaintance
I pieced together her image from their memories
None of them could stand it when she lost interest
They loved her like bees love nectar;
a frenzied, pleading love
taking as much as possible until she closed off
But of course she was never really open from the start
Even the one's she knew from before
They barely had a clue who she was
All of them remembered her to be this elusive smoke they could never fully understand
All but one
He was her acquaintance for years
I think I heard her call him a friend once
Just once
He knew everything to know about her
It took a year for him to spill his secrets
He would tell me stories about her;
' she's afraid of everything,
every phobia in the book.
i didn't think it was possible either
everything she feared, she secretly loved.
a closet masochist, she knew it though
something about the way she dismisses me and everyone else, like no one mattered, it made me feel so utterly insignificant.
in a pool of utter insignificance.
if you only saw the way she used to smile
how she hugged me back when i dared to hug her
i don't know how it happened but one day
she just shut off
and I'm beginning to think she wont ever come back
now she's this maniac who gets irritated by everything i do or say, even when i watch my words
i think she's forgotten how to be normal
i think she snapped, no idea why or how
iloved her.
love her '
She slept one hour a day
on a good day
She took anti depressants, anti anxiety pills and tested positive for borderline severe schizophrenia
and was seeing a therapist
She wanted a psychologist;
her parents couldn't afford it
Her father's side was riddled with mental disorders
Her mother's side too
' i never asked to be born, it would have been
better not to conceive me.
who would want this lunatic as a child
as a friend
as a love
i wouldn't '
' if you're so fucking messed up
why don't you ask for help '
' when people ask if i'm ok
i save time by saying
i'm fine '
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