It's beautiful outside with a lovely view of flowers of all kinds, blooming all around us in the garden of shame and regret. The sun couldn't bring us warmth even if it had all the help in the universe, no one can help us here. But it's fine. I can listen to my music and drown myself in past memories in order to keep this a place of punishment for my past sins. He will be sitting on that lovely wooden bench, casually reading in the light. I laid my head on his lap and looked up at the sky, I don't dare smile though and just continue to remember every single death.
All of which caused by my existence.
More of course would have occurred if I hadn't existed but that doesn't matter, nothing matters at the moment except for how loud the music is and how cold I am inside. If I wanted to I could leave this garden of shame and regret but then he would be all alone and I can't have that. Dark hair shaded my eyes from the brilliant light of the sun, but dark green eyes were still able to see the clear sky, musing how dull it appears without clouds. Without clouds its as though the sky is missing something very important... a piece of it somehow. It's like a sky without the sun in a way.
His lips parted and began to form words but I couldn't hear a thing he was saying. I didn't bother to turn down my music and just smiled at him from his lap. He rolled his eyes and smirked back as though I amused him in some way, but I don't see how that's possible. I'm not all that amusing anymore with all these tragedies under my belt. I mouthed four words making him stop and stare at me. Thinking he hadn't heard me I said the words aloud, unable to hear the way they sound with my music blasting.
He just looked away then, appearing distracted suddenly and tried to drown himself in his reading once more. White-blond hair looking perfect as always, but his silver eyes showed the truth. He doesn't want to leave this place either. I wonder how long he will stay in this place with me, wearing such a stunning suit. All black with a green tie. He always needs some green in his outfit even though the world now loathes anything that reminds them of the war and the one who caused everything to change.
It's hard for the world to be so judgmental about something they don't understand. I could have told the world the truth... about me and how close I was to being one of the ones they hated but I won't. I never will. But he can know if he wants to. I don't mind, because he's here with me in this garden of shame and regret, and he's not leaving. He could leave at anytime but he won't, because I'm here too. We won't leave each other during this time of punishment.
He runs a hand through my hair making me grin up at him, enjoying the feeling. He just smiled softly letting me see the aristocrat he grew up as. I closed my eyes as he continued to run his fingers through my messy hair, I could care less if he was fixing it or making it worse, it doesn't matter either way. The only thing that matters is that I'm not alone and that he's with me. That's when I saw his lips move letting me see the words I had just told him.
Maybe... I should leave this garden with him... because it doesn't hurt anymore. Not when we both know that...
"I don't hate you."