(Beeping)

IvoryVinyl:(Half asleep, groaning) Is it time to get up already?

(Ivory blindly presses button on laptop.)

ROB: (On laptop) Greetings subject.

Ivory: (Sitting up) Subject? (Looks at laptop) Why am I talking to an NES R.O.B.?

ROB: Because you have been selected to join in a little test of mine. You have been brought here to my testing room.

Ivory: This looks like some nerd's basement.

ROB: Silence! This experiment is to test a human's limits. I want to see if there is any fanfiction out there that will break someone's sanity.

Ivory: (Sarcastically) Well, that sounds delightful. So how are you going to break my sanity, exactly?

ROB: Well, you read the fanfiction I find for you.

Ivory: Oh. That's not good.

ROB: Well, are you ready for the long, painful process to begin?

Ivory: Hold on. Long? If I'm going to be here for a while, can I at least have some company?

ROB: Very well. Activate those two robots in the corner, and then we will begin.

(Ivory walks to corner and turns on robots.)

Female robot: Huh? What's going on?

Male robot: (To Ivory) Hey! You're not James!

Ivory: No, I am not. I'm IvoryVinyl, and a R.O.B. has me trapped in here.

Male robot: Is he really at it again? That must be why he shut us off.

Female robot: (To Ivory) Sorry for all of this. I'm R. Silica and this is my brother R. Tomashun.

R. Tomashun: (Raspy voice) We take care of the place while the master is away.

ROB: Have you had enough? As I was saying, the story for today is Half Life: Full-life Consequences. I hope you kids have fun.

Tom: Did he just say-

(Alarm)

Sil: WE GOT STORY SIGN!

Half-Life: Full-life Consequences

Ivory: Get it? It's a play on words.

John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother

Tom: Funny Gordon doesn't talk about his brother much.

Sil: Probably because he talks like this.

was one day in an office typing on a computer.

Tom: Everyone knows typewriters are so yesterday.

He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.

John Freeman got his computer shut down

Sil: Does John have trouble shutting down his computer?

Ivory: He must be using Windows 8.

and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle

Tom: He must have a good job getting his own parking spot.

and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat.

Ivory: "Don't mess with the coat, son!"

John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences"

Sil: That sounds oddly familiar.

so he had to go.

Tom: Nature calls at the worst times.

John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed.

Ivory: 8!

Tom: 9!

Sil: Eh, 6.5.

He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.

Ivory: He has rooftop parking, an office lab coat, but no weapon?

Sil: He needs to talk to his boss about that.

The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing

Tom: Like in Little Shop of Horrors!

and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was.

Ivory: Just like in a Spaghetti Western.

John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".

Sil: What has to be done is a running theme for this man.

John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.

All: (Gasp)

"I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said

"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.

Ivory: "I left it in my other office lab coat!"

"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head

Sil: But he didn't have weapon!

Tom: I didn't know you can sequence break a fanfic.

and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.

John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because

Ivory: "He was turned into a hedgehog."

Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ravenholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here"

Tom: The Terminator must have written that.

Sil: Well, I'm sold. Let's get out of here.

so John Freeman almost turned around

Sil: No, John. That was a joke. I didn't mean that.

but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.

Ivory: (Singing) Rolling around at the speed of sound.

John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman.

Ivory: 10!

Tom: 10!

Sil: (Scoff) 5.

John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.

Tom: Okay, he's got a wepon. It's not as good as a weapon, but we're back on track.

John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.

Sil: John Freeman is a dick.

Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead

Ivory: Not the Levi's!

Tom: (Sobbing) He fit so well.

and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.

When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said "John Freeman! Over here!"

Ivory: "About time! What took you so long!"

so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.

Sil: Seriously, John is a huge jerk.

Gordon Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell.

Tom: Half Life 2: Known for gravity guns, crowbars, and punching.

John Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Gordon Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.

Ivory: (Laughing) "I'll kill you in your sleep, Gordon."

The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said "NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!"

Sil: Silly Gordon, no one can run in this fanfic.

and John Freeman walked real fast out.

Sil: See?

John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.

Tom: And enraged and infuriated and-

Ivory: We get it.

"I'll get you back evil boss!" John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.

to be continued..?

Ivory: You make the call!

Sil: God I hope not.

Ivory: Well R. Tomashun, you seem to know a lot about movies.

Sil: Yeah, most of his hard drive is used to download movies.

Tom: At least I have a hobby, sis.

Ivory: Yeah R. Silica, what do you do in your free time.

Sil: I happen to use my free time for something useful.

Tom: Oh yeah? Like what?

Sil: Um... Well, it's better than... I don't... really have one.

Ivory: Tell you what, I'll get a hobby for you while I'm here.

(ROB appears on laptop.)

ROB: So, are you ready to give up already?

Ivory: Actually it wasn't that bad. It had terrible spelling and grammar, but it was actually fun to read just because it was funny.

ROB: Well, I'll have to try better next time. Until then.

(Laptop turns off.)

Ivory: Now, time to find that hobby. Have you thought of reading?

Tom: Oh! How about Fifty Shades of Grey?

Sil and Ivory: NO!