A/N: This was originally meant to be a one-shot birthday present to Light... But I got to a point where I didn't know people would like it or not, so this is the first 'half.'

The second half would probably be about three times this length, but I just wanted to know if you peeps wanted me to continue...

So, a) Light's personality is somewhat more relaxed.

b) This (will?) get very, very dirty. Considering it was inspired by one of my daydreams, which, if you know me, can get very perverted indeed xP

So, here is the first, (maybe last) chunk of Light-o's three-day-late present/fic:

don't own death note and its men.

"'Socialism is perhaps the single most important ideology of our time. A major influence on modern political consciousness, it has deeply penetrated...'"

The lecture hall was infinitely full, and Light's head had never felt more empty. He slouched into his chair, a subtle slope to his vigorously straight posture. He rested each elbow on the bench and sighed into his arms.

Quotations from R.N. Berki's books, no matter how crucial to his upcoming assignments, were sending him into a drowsy state of dreamland. He kept his eyes open by continually surveying the hall, flickering from one inquisitive hair-style to the next.

It was L's fault, naturally, for keeping him up so late (or early, he supposed) with his usual unusual endeavours. Light continually had to adjust his butt in his seat for fear of that horrible burning sensation in places his father would have a heart-attack at.

He gazed down at his lined refill, sick to death of watching a greasy-haired youth ogling at some poor girl's cleavage a bench below him. He doodled in the corners and margins, still slightly surprised so many had turned up on a Saturday. Light believed, of course, that he was the only one dedicated enough to his work to bother with the haps-hazard timetable given out each week. That he was the martyr for intelligence and dedication to one's education, and all that was good and golden in society today.

Nah. Just kidding.

He actually couldn't care less.

He was all those things, but hey, he could still relax. Was it irrational to expect one to be a serious, straight-A student all the time? Still, Light thought with a bold firmness that he would graduate flawlessly and work his way to the top of the Police Academy ranks...

He would be the best detective in the WORLD, there would be nobody else but him and his clean-cut glory.

...Light looked down to realise he'd been sketching the letter 'L.' With love-hearts encircling.

The brunette glowered, ripped out the page and scrunched it up into a dense little ball.

"Something wrong, Light-kun?" A black-cropped head leaned a little towards him, slim wrists brushing a rogue strand back into place in Light's impossibly perfect hair.

"Nothing at all, Takada-san." Light replied, leaning back in his seat, though not to bump into a pair of shoes from above, "I'm a little disappointed our discussion topic for this semester hasn't progressed further, if anything." Takada gained a haughty, snobbery expression, "Yes," she sniffed as she relaxed her chin on her fingers, "It is a shame that we have to go at the pace of everyone else."

Light didn't want to tell her that her attempts of bonding-through-arrogance weren't really getting a rise out of him, so he settled for absently replaying some of last night's audio.

"Do you know why I always have cream with my strawberries?" A deep voice sounded, right by his ear.

"Why?" Light asked, already knowing the answer and feeling for a fool for questioning the space in front of him. A heavily-fringed boy adjacent to his bench turned and replied, "I know, I know. I ask why I'm still here every morning..."

Light wtf-ed at the college student and went back to listening to Takada's chitchat: "So thats why I'm attending her party on Wednesday. God knows she'll try to talk to Akira; a shot of vodka and it's suddenly, "You are soooo good-looking, you should be an idol! My daddy works at Sakura TV!" or "Oh my god, how big is your..."

Light suddenly remembered the answer, which immediately put Takada's ramblings on mute:

"It means, Light-kun, I must exude more effort in the licking of the cream without damaging the strawberry's inner-fruit... It gives me satisfaction, to suck and lick off the cream and still have a perfect shape of a strawberry left to my taking..."

The graphic imagery of L's demonstration earned Light an unwanted tent in his slacks. He crossed his legs, furiously ordering the circus to leave and berating himself on his lack of control.

It was just sex, goddamnit. Its an everyday thing, practised by everyday people. I don't need to get so worked up about it.

"Light-kun, can you stand up and read out a passage from 'The Nature of the Marxian Achievement?' On page 56, if you would." The teacher nodded, expectantly waiting for Toudai's bright star to sing its praises.

Light stood up, flicking quickly to said page. The circus hadn't left yet, the elephants were proving stubborn, and Light had over two thousand eyes on him.

"There can be little doubt about Karl Marx's significance for socialism: no other single thinker either before or after him has made an even faintly comparable impact on the development of socialist thought and socialist movements."

Light's smooth translation earned many looks of admiration, admiration, Light thought, hopefully not directed at his crotch. The bulge was like a neon-sign, flashing bulbs beckoning the customers.

Light gritted his incisors and dealt with the first client.

"Light, I..." Takada had a rosy glow to her cheeks, which, Light prophesized, had nothing to do with the new 'natural' blush make-up she had recently purchased.

Not that he'd know anything about women's cosmetics.

Light coughed into his fist, his almond-amber eyes locking with hers for a moment before replying, "I apologize, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"No, no, its okay," Takada hummed, huddling a little closer.

Light wondered if her reaction would have been the same if he'd slapped her, opened up his legs and guffawed, "Shit happens, alrigh' bitch?"

Light didn't guffaw, but it was an interesting thought.

...and that is it, so far. To just put it all up or can? Decisions, decisions...

The pairing (in my mind) is a suprise.

It also includes more than two people.

R&R!