JK ROWLING OWNS ALL THINGS HARRY POTTER
AN: I have always been a big Harry Potter fan and have wanted to write something for awhile. This for my sins, is the first idea that I was any way happy with. It is my version of what happens when Harry meets Dumbledore in Heaven/ Kings Cross Station. My apologies to any who think it's a little too sentimental, but I always wanted Harry to have a proper meeting with his mum and dad, however brief or in his head.
"Well as you see this place as Kings Cross Station, I would imagine that you would be able to catch a train..."
"And where would it take me?" Harry asked with an almost childlike curiousity and anxiety of the unknown.
Before Dumbledore had the chance to answer, the familiar yet strangely beautiful sound of a steam train beginning to screech to a halt as it reached the platform, echoed towards them.
Blinking slightly as the already bright light streaming all around them, reflected off of the engine's perfect silver paintwork, Harry watched as door to one of the carriages further down the train was forced open.
"LILLY! WAIT!" a deep and strangely familiar voice boomed, the sound echoing like an explosion around the almost unnaturally quiet space.
Lilly? It couldn't be...could it? Loathe as he was to tear his gaze away from the red haired bullet that was speeding towards him, moving so fast that she was almost a blur, Harry turned to look at Dumbledore. The old man had been as surprised as Harry until realisation had dawned. And whilst he was genuinely glad that whatever higher power it was that presided over this place, had seen fit to reward the young wizards incredible bravery with the one thing he desired and deserved, he couldn't help but fear the repercussions. Would the young wizard have the strength to make the most heartbreaking and cruel of decisions?
"I'VE WAITED SIXTEEN YEARS JAMES..." Harry managed to hear, just before he was almost knocked from his feet by the impact of who could only be his mother, colliding with his midsection and his face being smothered in a flurry of embarrassingly noisy, motherly kisses. The kind of kisses that Mrs Weasley bestowed upon him freely, but which Harry would always secretly wished had been coming from his own mother.
When he had arrived here, Harry had wished for clothes and his glasses and they arrived. As he had made his way through the forest towards Voldemort, he had wished harder than he had ever done that his parents and Sirius could be by his side. And whilst the Resurection Stone had granted him a brief vision, it had not really been enough. He had desperately needed to actually feel their arms around him, a comforting hand on his shoulder. And in the brief seconds before Voldemort's curse had struck, Harry had sent up a final prayer that wherever it was he ended up when he died, that his parents, Sirius, all the people he loved most, would be there to meet him.
And it seemed that his prayer had been answered.
Was heaven or the wizard version at least, simply like stepping through the Mirror of Erused? Into a place where instead of just seeing your heart's desire, you actually get to touch and feel it? Feel it trembling in your arms?
Suddenly eager to find out, Harry gently peeled the slight figure in his arms away from his neck. And found, he was gazing into the soft green eyes of his mother which despite shining brightly with unshed tears, were greedily drinking in every inch of his face.
"Mum..." Harry whispered hoarsely, his own eyes began to burn with hot tears, but he dared not move any part of himself to try and clear them, in case the vision before him disappeared.
"My baby...look at you...my beautiful, beautiful, brave baby...oh Harry..." Lily had sighed, unable to keep her hands from touching any part of him she could reach.
She had always known he would be tall, that he would be almost his father's double, but to finally see him close up. To run her hands through his unruly hair, to feel the once chubby and uncoordinated limbs, now on the brink of becoming the strong, protective, productive arms and hands of a man. A brave, kind, caring, loving man. To gaze into the eyes that were so like her own, but which held so much sorrow, so much pain, so much loneliness and confusion. If her heart could still beat, Lilly was sure that it would break again, as she imagined what her poor brave boy had been through, had seen, how frightened he must have been, having to rely on strangers for comfort.
"Darling are you hurt?" she asked anxiously.
It was a moot question, considering where they were, but she was and always be his mother.
"No...at least I don't think so...chest hurts a bit..." Harry said truthfully
"Yeah, a Killing Curse does kind of sting for a while..." James Potter said with a small grin as he finally approached them.
"Hello Dad..." Harry whispered as he looked over the top of his mothers head at his father.
"Hello son..." James Potter replied, his voice rough with unshed tears as he waited for his wife to reluctantly, relinquish her almost painful grip on their son. Finally, James stepped forward and enveloped his son in his arms, his unnecessary but still present breath catching in his throat, as he felt his precious boy hug him back with an almost painful ferocity. Clinging to him as he had done as a baby, when a loud noise or unfamiliar face had scared him, or when he had just sought the comfort of his father's arms as they had lain sprawled across the sofa's in the cosy little living room of Godric's Hollow.
Harry's head was spinning as he allowed himself a long moment to just loose himself in the comfort of his father's strong arms. To see them in the Mirror of Erused and then the shimmering images created by the Resurrection Stone had been one thing, but to now see them close up, feel them, they felt so warm, so real...
"Harry...I...words can't tell you, how proud your mum and I are what you have done, what you have become...you are twice the man I could ever be son..." James whispered roughly into his son's ear.
"I am...what...you and mum...what you made me...you died for me."Harry said hotly as he and his father broke apart.
James smiled sadly.
"Dying is the easy part Harry. You are the one who has had to live, with all the confusion, the fear, the loneliness. You are the one who has had to face situations that wizards twice your age would balk at...and do it for the most part..alone...I couldn't have done that." James said sincerely as he cupped his son's face in his hands.
"Everyone...everyone tells me...that I'm like you...like both of you..." Harry said looking between his parents.
"Well yes, you are an amazing Quiddich player, who has a healthy disregard for rules and a love for fiery red haired women..."
"You...you know about...Quidditch...about Ginny?" Harry stammered, feeling an embarrassed blush heat his cheeks and a new painful ache in his chest that had nothing to do with the curse Voldemort had aimed at it.
Oh Ginny. There was so much he had wanted to say, but as always, there had never been enough time. Just as it had been with his parents, the time had been stolen from him by Voldemort.
"Of course...we were there for every game..."James said proudly, pulling Harry from his dark musings.
"Even the one when that damn elf tried to save your life..." Lilly growled fiercely as she came to stand by her husband's side.
"Dobby was only trying to help me..." Harry said quickly.
"I know darling, it's just I hated seeing you in so much pain, the night Madam Pomfrey had to re grow all your bones. I think I must have sung every song I knew about a hundred times before you settled." Lily said with a soft smile as she now folded herself into James side and reached out a hand to prolong contact with her son.
"That..that was you...I...I thought I was dreaming." Harry said in disbelief, his voice becoming rough as he remembered that long, painful night when he truly thought he had dreamt seeing, hearing, his mother sat on the side of his bed trying to soothe him.
"No my love...as I told you...we...we're always with you...in here." She said reaching out and placing her hand over his thundering heart. "We always will be...through the good times and the bad." She said, reaching up to gently caress his cheek with her fingers. It was such a simple, tender, motherly gesture and it was the one that finally pushed an exhausted Harry over the edge of his endurance.
"Do...Do I have to go back?" he whimpered, hearing the childish pathetic tone in his voice but not caring as he launched himself into his mother's arms once more. He was so tired, both physically and emotionally, all he wanted to do was stay right here, wrapped in his mother's arms, protected from everyone and everything.
"No darling you don't..." A shocked Lily said quickly, casting a strangely desperate and hostile glare towards Dumbledore, who had suddenly, noisily stood up from the bench further down the platform where he had placed himself. Harry felt his heart sputtering painfully in his chest, as he saw his mother who seemed to have heard his silent mental ramble, once again place herself between him and the approaching Dumbledore, ready to defend him from the threat to his life the old wizard was bringing with him.
"Lil..." James said gently but with a hard edge.
"He's been through so much James, too much..." Lily sighed, looking hopelessly between her husband and old mentor.
"It truly is the most unexplainable, powerful force...a mother's love for her child" Dumbledore said with a genuine tone of awe in his voice, as he watched the young woman maintain her defensive stance before her son. Raising his hands in a gesture of supplication, he continued;
"I mean Harry no harm Lily. As James so rightly said, he has been through far more than a wizard his age should have endured, with this last year proving especially trying."
Trying, that was one way to describe it Harry thought.
"And tonight...being forced to lead his friends, those he considers family, innocents...into a bloody battle that has seen his entire world, the fragile happiness he has managed to find for himself ripped apart once more. Being forced, to make the ultimate sacrifice to willingly give up his life before it has truly begun...it is only natural...that he would want to stay here with you. If anyone deserves to enjoy the peace of this place, to enjoy the comfort of finally being reunited with the parents he, despite their physical absence still adores and who adore him, it's Harry." Dumbledore said sincerely, passionately.
"But I won't...I can't..." Harry sighed, his quiet voice sounding as if it had been dragged from the pits of his very soul. "Not knowing that Voldermort is still alive, that he is terrorising, killing...destroying our world...the world you and Dad, Remus, Tonks, Sirius...George died for. I'd never rest, knowing that I'd left Ron...Hermione, Neville, Luna... my Ginny..."Harry said, not caring for the moment how passionate his voice had become at the mention of Ginny's name. "I'd never rest, knowing that I'd left them to carry on fighting, dying for me...this has to stop...I can't, won't let anyone else die for me, especially not the people I love."
"That's my boy." James said quietly, unable to hold back his proud beaming smile.
"Yes he is...the perfect mix of both of you, with something that is uniquely Harry...his heart." Dumbledore said to James.
"Damn you Potter men, never able to back down from a fight...see it all as one big game..." Lilly growled as he enveloped Harry once more in a bone crunching embrace.
"I'm sorry mum..." Harry said as he gently, awkwardly patted her back in what he hoped, was a comforting gesture.
"Don't be sorry darling...it's why I love you...both...god help me...be careful Harry... "Lilly said as she reached up to cup his face in her hands. "Be happy my darling...be happy with Ginny...or whomever you choose...and never settle my love. You deserve to be happy, to be loved...so very, very much...you are...you will be, a wonderful, man." Lilly said, tears running unchecked down her cheeks as she greedily drank in every inch of her precious, beautiful baby boys face.
"I love you mum..." Harry said, his own vision become blurred by the tears that were falling. It truly did feel as he had been struck by a thousand cruciatus curses, such was the pain he felt as he pulled himself from her arms.
"As I love you my love...always and forever Harry."
"I wish you could be with me Dad..." Harry said as he began to run his hands roughly across his tear stained face and compose himself. "You, Sirius..Remus...one final fight...finish what you started." Harry said, a challenging grin twitching his lips.
James couldn't help but laugh.
Damn, it truly was like looking in the mirror.
"Oh don't worry son, we'll be there in spirit, standing right behind you...but this...this is your fight...a fight I know you can win. You are one hell of a wizard, a brave fighter...use all that anger you have, all that pain you feel for those that have been lost...all that fear..." James said his tone becoming serious, as he reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, praying that his son could see, feel the support he was trying to convey. The silent message that it was alright to be afraid, that he too had been afraid, during his ultimately vain battle to protect his family. "Use it to give yourself the strength you need to make the final push, to cast the final blow that will destroy Voldermort once and for all. You know...you are the only one who can."
The sudden high pitched whistle of the steam engine which had been idling behind them as they talked, startled them all.
"Oh not yet...we've only just got here, there's so much I want to say...to ask..." Lily cried looking desperately towards Dumbledore, as if the powerful old wizard could somehow, give her the extra time she craved.
"I'm afraid I am at the mercy, of the same far greater power as you are Lily my dear. My influence here is very limited." Dumbledore said sadly over the now increased volume of the train's engine.
Holding tightly to both his parent's hands, Harry walked with them back to their carriage, the door still hanging open after his mother's hasty exit. Harry couldn't suppress the strange strangled sob come laugh that escaped him as he thought about the twisted irony of the scene before him. How many times had he dreamt about having his parents there to see him off as he boarded the Hogwarts Express, to watch them become tiny specs in the distance as he hung from his carriage window. But it was him that was having to stand and watch, the strong restraining hand of Dumbledore on his shoulder, as they disappeared into a cloud of blindingly white steam, his heart breaking a little as finally his mother's fiery red hair, which had stood out like a beacon, disappeared from sight in the darkness of the tunnel that lay a few hundred yards further down the track.
It had taken everything Harry had, not to climb into the carriage with them as they had embraced for the final time. His mother babbling words of love and instructions about how he should treat Ginny like a lady. Whilst his father, in a conspiratorial tone had told him to avoid elf made Fire Whisky and about a small, secluded clearing on the far side of Hogsmeade which be the perfect spot for a picnic with Ginny.
"I love you both...so much..." Harry whispered as he slowly began to lower his arm. He was just about to turn back towards Dumbledore, when a strong gust of warm air gushed back down the line from the tunnel, hitting him full in the face and the chest. But it was not the force of the warm air that made him stagger back, it was voices, the magically blended voices of his parents which were carried on the air as it wrapped itself around him like a blanket.
"WE LOVE YOU TOO HARRY...ALWAYS...AND FOREVER..."
"Well Harry. I'm afraid I too must leave you...but I do so, sincerely hoping that you really are aware of just how very much I admire your bravery and spirit, especially after what has happened here today." Dumbledore said with a final squeeze of Harry's shoulder.
Harry managed a nod, his mind still reeling from all that had happened, what was about to happen and the final declaration of love from his parents. It was only as the old wizard was himself about to disappear that Harry found his voice
"Professor, is this...is this all happening in my head?" Harry stammered, not sure whether he wished the answer to be positive or negative.
Turning slightly, Dumbledore took a final look at the boy he had come to regard as the son he wished he could have had.
"Well of course it's happening in your head Harry, that doesn't mean it's not true."