AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I have nothing to say haha. Kidding. I just... I don't know if you'll like this but all I know is that I have to upload this story once I finished chapter 1. It just came out of nowhere when I was wondering why the heck Gosho-sensei was(for me) like, "I like Haibara. But then, I like Ran more. She's way cooler." LOL. I don't know if it's just me or the way he said it in his interview. But anyway, I guess it's more on me. Heheh.

And I'm babbling again. Haha. I'm still a beginner so please let me know what you think by leaving your review. Thanks!

DISCLAIMER: GOSHO AOYAMA-sensei OWNS DETECTIVE CONAN. I AM JUST MERELY WRITING A FANFIC ABOUT IT.

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It was one wintry evening when the junior detectives decided to sleep over at Hakase's. It's nearing Christmas, November 23, to be exact, and we can already feel the chilly breeze it brings. We were at the living room, lazing around when Haibara suddenly announced something that really surprised us.

"One month from now, I'll be going to America."

Haibara did not even look at us when she said that, she just gazed at the fireplace rather calmly. It was as if she's just telling us she'd go shopping on some mall. However, the kids, including me were taken aback by the surprise.

"Wh-What are you talking about Ai-chan?" It was Ayumi, who stood up in front of Haibara, who's just sitting on the sofa. "You're not spending Christmas with us?" she asked worriedly.

Haibara turned to look at Ayumi. "I don't know."

"But Haibara-san, why are you going to America? Japan is your home, isn't it?" Mitsuhiko asked anxiously, standing up.

"Yeah, and your family is here. Why would you even go there." said Genta, knitting his eyebrows.

Haibara looked at us, one by one. Then she sighed, "Well, maybe you are right. Don't worry, there's still a month before I go there. You don't need to be all emotional now." Haibara's lips turn upwards. I don't know if it was considered a smile.

"But..." Ayumi sounded like she's going to cry. But what startled me was when Ayumi looked at me and said, "Conan-kun, say something!"

That was when all the attention shifted to me. The truth was, I don't know what to say. I was surprised too, I didn't even guess she'd go to America.

After all this time. After all that we've been through, after her fears were gone. After the organization was defeated, after everything was peaceful and after I acknowledged her as my...

She'd-

"Conan!" The kids called me.

I blinked and realized they were waiting for what I'll have to say. "Oh. Uhh.. Yeah. Haibara..."

Haibara gazed at me. Is she really serious about America? Is it about me and the incomplete antidote? I wanted to ask her that but not with these children hearing us. So instead I smiled and said, "You'll be back before long, right?"

They turned their heads to Haibara.

"You'll know it, Edogawa-kun." she answered nonchalantly.

I didn't answer back, even if I'm still confused by her answer. I was expecting her to say that she got me, that she was just joking. But nothing like that came. She's really serious, isn't she? Might as well talk to Hakase about this. He knows about this, for sure.

All the while, Ayumi, Mitsuhiko and Genta were begging her to stay, or just to spend Christmas with them. But it seemed Haibara already made up her mind and she's not going to lie from it even just a bit.

I find it amusing though, that even when they're about to sleep, they're still pleading like a puppy to her which made me laugh a little. Haibara really got good friends, huh.

"Haibara-san, don't go..." Genta said in his sleep. I just smiled and shook my head.

As usual, we were sleeping side by side. Haibara was beside me, with her back facing me. Ayumi, at my left side. I sat up to look at her, she's already sleeping, huh?

I stared at her. I admit, I couldn't imagine us, junior detectives, without her now. She became a part of us. I don't know why, but something tells me that if she go, she won't come back anymore. I clenched my fist tight.

RING! RING!

And that's when my cell phone rang, I flipped it open to reveal that it was Ran, who's calling me. I answered it right away.

"Ran.."

"Conan-ku- I mean, Shinichi.."

Yes. She already knows I am also Shinichi, I told her right after the organization was destroyed. I also confessed my feelings for her, and she told me she felt the same way. But for some reason, we couldn't declare ourselves as lovers, and I couldn't bring myself to ask if she's already my girlfriend or not. But I decided that as long as we love each other, then it's fine.

"You're at Hakase's right? Are the kids with you?" Ran asked.

"Yeah, they're already sleeping. What's wrong? Why did you call?" These kids still don't know I am really Shinichi, and we're not planning to let them know it.

"No. Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to ask a favor.. You know... For tomorrow..." she trailed off. I smiled.

"Okay. What's for tomorrow?"

"Uhm. Are you free tomorrow?" she asked another question.

I looked at Haibara again. "Uh, yeah. Maybe.. I mean, yes."

"Is it a yes?"

"Yes."

"Oh okay."

Then all of a sudden, she became quiet. What's with her tonight?

"Ran?"

"Shinichi..." she took a deep breath. "You said that you can go back to being you, I mean, being Kudo Shinichi, by taking that temporary antidote, right?"

My smile faded. "Uh. Temporarily, yes. Why?"

"I know this is really selfish of me.. But.." I could sense she's nervous. "Can you take that antidote, just for tomorrow?"

I know she would say that. She doesn't know of the consequences of taking that antidote after all.

"Sorry Shinichi. I don't mind being with you while you're Conan but I just wanted to spend the day with you, as Shinichi. Our classmate invited us on her birthday party and... I want..." she trailed off again. "Sorry. It's okay if you don't want to. I know there's a reason why you don't take that antidote much often."

"Sorry, Ran..." that's all I could say. It's depressingly sad to hear her like that, her voice kinda shaking and there's nothing I could do. "But don't worry, I'll ask hakase if I can take it just for tomorrow. If not.. Then, I'd still come with you. As Conan." I tried to lighten up the conversation but I know I failed.

"No, it's okay. You don't have to do that! Really. As long as it is you who'll be with me, then it's fine. I'd be more than happy. Let's go there tomorrow, ok?" I know she's just trying to be happy, just like me.

"Okay." I answered.

The moment she hung up, I deeply sighed as I stared at my phone while thinking if I should ask Haibara for the antidote or not.

"Should I make one for you?"

Haibara startled me. I immediately turn to look at her. She's currently sitting up.

"Your girlfriend wants the old you, back. Might as well, give her what she wants, just for tomorrow." she suggested, while resting her head on her curled up knees.

"Are you serious?" I raised one eyebrow at her. "Anyway, thanks but you don't have to make one for me."

"Liar."

"I'm not lying." I defended myself.

"Sure."

I gave up exchanging words with her, I just sighed again and realized there's more important issue that I wanted to discuss with her.

"Haibara.." I started, not looking at her. "Are you really going to America?"

"Yes." I heard her say without hesitation.

"Why?" I asked, now looking at my phone at hand.

"There's something I must do, to make myself feel better and for my mind to be at peace." she answered quietly.

"Is it for me? For altering the drug?" I looked at her quickly to see if I was right.

She's not looking at me, she's looking straight ahead. "Maybe." then, she looked at me. "And may I ask, why are you making that face?"

What is she talking about?

She smirked, "You're angry because I'm leaving without being able to turn you back to your old self. Is that it? Well.. I'm telling you, you should be happy. Anytime soon, your problem will be gone, once I get my feet to America." she shifted her gaze to my eyes. "There, I'm sure I'll make your antidote. I promise."

"Just as I thought, you're going there for me." I don't know why, but I think she's right. I'm getting angry.

"Don't flatter yourself. I will do that for my own sake."

I am angry with myself. Even if she deny it, I know it was for me too. She's always doing her best for me to get my life back. But what am I doing? I am lazing around, thinking if I should ask her to make a temporary antidote for me to be with Ran. I am selfish as hell. I didn't think about her feelings. All I think about is myself.

All this time.

"I'm going to sleep. Good night." Haibara was making her move to lie down when I grabbed her right arm. She looked at me, confusion was in her eyes. "What?"

I held her arm tighter. "Haibara... Tell me, is there any way for you to stay here for good?"

She blinked a few times. "Kudo-kun, I've decided to go there to-"

"Screw that antidote! It can wait. I don't need it for now. I know you can make it even when you're here. I'm sure of it." I almost shouted.

Her eyes grew big. "Are you out of your mind? You know you need it badly."

"Listen, if there's a way for you to stay here. Tell me. I'll do it. Anything. I know you don't want to leave.. I just know it." I keep on pressing my words to her.

Then, Haibara's expression softened up. "Why Kudo-kun? Why are you doing this?"

I released her arm. "I... It's because..." I don't know. I really don't know. But she can't accept a reason like that so I should think fast. Think fast Conan!

"It's because I.. I can't make you leave like this. I told you, don't escape from your fate." I explained, and I am sweating.

"Really? So you're doing this just to prove your point?" she looked at me suspiciously. I looked away, but nod nonetheless.

She smirked. "Well, you said earlier that you'll do anything to make me stay here, right?"

I nodded again. So there's still a way to make her stay?

When I took a peek at her, I saw her smile, a very dangerous smile. I was beginning to regret I said those words. "Very well, then. I'll stay only if you'll kiss me."

"Wh-What?"

In that instant, my mind panicked. I didn't expect that. I am astounded that I think I'm gonna have a heart attack.

She just said I should kiss her. Goodness' sake! Ran and I haven't even (officially) kissed yet! And then Haibara, she-

"You know what that means, right?"

Haibara cut in my mind all of a sudden.

"I hope you got the message. Kudo-kun... There's no way I won't leave." she said as she started to lie down, facing the other side.

I was left dumbfounded. It took a minute before I realized, Haibara didn't really want me to kiss her.

I don't know what to say. Even if I said I'll do anything, the truth is, I can't. Haibara really knows my limits. She's trying to tell me that it is impossible for her to stay and there's nothing I could do about it. But is it really impossible to stop her from leaving? Or just impossible to kiss her?

"Haibara-"

"No, Kudo-kun. Just drop it already and let me get some sleep."

I glared at her back. But in the end, I could just sigh. I forced myself to lie down and sleep while thinking of other ways to make her stay.

Oh well, I still have 30 days.

I grinned as a plan is slowly forming inside my head.

TBC~~

A/N: and that's it for chapter one. What did you think? T.T Should I continue this? Haha thanks a bunch for reading!