Chapter One: Finn
He was a freshman in high school when it happened.
He was on his lunch when Mr. Shue came barreling into the cafeteria, his mother in tow. Finn's face contorted into an expression of concern as he took in his mother, tears streaking her face. She held her arms out to him, beckoning him to her. He didn't understand why this was happening but his mother never cried so it must be something huge. He hugged her tight before asking what was going on.
When the words slipped from Mr. Shue's mouth, Finn felt his whole world stop. He literally felt it come to a halt before the contents of it shattered to pieces around him.
He pulled away from his mother, who sobbed harder from the loss of contact.
"Finn, don't do this," Mr. Shue begged as he reached out to him, but Finn was too lost in his own mind to hear anything the two of them had to say. He backed further away from them, eyes wide.
"My father's dead," he stated numbly before turning on his heel and sprinting towards the door.
His mother tried really hard to keep him in this reality.
But the more she tried to get him to talk about things, or help with the funeral, or anything that had to do with anything, he shut her out even more.
"Honey, don't do this to yourself," she begged him, running a hand over his hair. He flinched away from her, causing a look of hurt to flash in her eyes.
She stopped trying when she realized that her son was gone, just like her husband.
His grades dropped drastically.
His mother told him he needed to get his act together or she would kick him out.
He told her that it didn't matter because this place didn't even feel like home anymore, not since his father died.
She slapped him across the face.
"Who are you?" she sobs, searching his face for the son she had raised. He tightened his jaw and looked away.
"I don't know anymore," he responded before running up the stairs and shutting himself in his room.
Finn lost his virginity to a girl with blonde hair who he had liked for years on his sixteenth birthday.
"I think I might be falling in love with you," she whispered against his overheated shoulder as she trailed her fingers up and down his abdomen. Every syllable confirmed her statement, and that scared the hell out of Finn.
"You shouldn't do that," he muttered, sitting up and running his hands through his hair.
"Finn," she began, placing her hands on his back, causing him to flinch.
"I think you should leave," he whispered before getting out of the bed and slamming the bathroom door.
He discovered weed when he found out his mother was getting remarried.
Noah Puckerman invited him over to his house and pulled out the dark green and brown roll.
When Finn took his first hit, his lungs contracted and erupted in fire. He coughed and Noah laughed telling him that the first one always sucks, so take another. Finn hesitated, but he still had some pride left so he took another drag.
When he exhaled his eyes slid shut and suddenly his body felt lighter, freer.
He hungrily took another hit, relishing in the effects of the drug. Suddenly his whole world didn't seem so cold. He even was able to come to terms with all the shit in his life. It was like he figured out a new way of coping and it was amazing.
He started doing drugs every day after school because really, he didn't have anything better to do.
He hits rock bottom when he shows up at his mother's wedding high, going on and on about how Burt isn't his father and never will be. He tells his mom how he doesn't give a damn about anything anymore and she should just get over it. He's not a little kid and she can't run his life, after all.
She slaps him across the face before Burt grabs him from behind and throws him out of the chapel.
"You are not my son!" she screams after him while he stumbles away from her.
He texts Noah and they get drunk and high, which he takes to quite nicely because it makes him forget even more.
When he returns home the next day he finds all his belongings on the front porch with a note from his mom attached.
Get out of my house, Finn.
He reads the note about five times before it finally hits him that he pushed away the last person who actually gave a shit about him.
He lives out of his car until Noah finally takes him in.
"I got a job dealing, which means I have a lot of free stuff and a lot of money."
Finn smiles and takes a hit of weed laced with some other kind of drug that makes his head spin.
It's a downward spiral from there.
He drops out of school.
He's officially a Lima Loser.
He decided he had enough of Lima when he turned 19, so he moved to New York.
He bought this dumpy little hole in the wall where he can do all the drugs he wanted and no one would really care.
Puck moved in a month later when the rent started to get steep.
"Just like old times, huh?" Puck comments as he snorts a line.
Finn just nods and puts out his blunt.
He's just not that into all this anymore.
He starts to miss his mom.
He starts to feel the pain of his father's death more and more.
He starts to feel guilty about everything he's ever done.
He considers calling his mom and begging for her forgiveness.
He gets really drunk and passes out on the couch instead.
Sometimes he wonders how his life got so fuck up.
He asks the universe or God or whoever is up there running his life why it had to go this way.
And then he remembers that it all started because of a reaction, his reaction.
He had people who loved him, but he pushed them away.
He sneaks out onto the fire escape of his apartment and looks up at the sky, now scattering snowflakes around the city. He takes a swig of his beer as he contemplates his life, and the importance of it.
He thinks of his dad, and what he would think of him now.
He cries for the first time in years when he realizes that his father would've killed him before it got this far. His father used to tell him he was special, that he had potential to do great things in life.
Now, he had nothing. He was nothing.
Just a boy with no family who fucked everything up.