The Amazing Race – Friends Edition
Author's note: I've wanted to write this for a long time – like I've been planning for several weeks in my head.
The premise of the story is simple – Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel as well as Joey and Phoebe have been invited to participate in The Amazing Race (which is a reality TV show hosted by Phil Keoghan (The Eliminator) where twelve teams of two travel all around the world – and the first team to make it to the finish line wins a million bucks!). There are usually twelve legs – each with a pit-stop where teams check in and rest for usually twelve hours and the last team is typically eliminated.
What you need to know about the Friends before starting this particular story: Monica and Chandler have recently married; Ross and Rachel have started dating – but it's not serious yet – and may or may not last depending on what happens; and Phoebe and Joey are good friends (both single – and may or may not develop a romantic interest in one another during the progression of the story).
I guess you could consider this story as a "season" of Friends – even though race itself takes typically 30-40 days to run its course.
The current plan as of the moment that there is to be fourteen or fifteen chapters – including a prologue and an epilogue. (But they will probably be huge-ass chapters.)
And at the end – I will put up a framework of all the places they went.
But anyways, enough with the rambling – anything else you need to know about the Race will be explained through the actions of the Friends during this chapter and other chapters – if need be – and don't forget to leave me some reviews!
For the sake of the first chapter – none of the other Friends know that the rest of their gang is going to be in the race – due to secretive reasons.
Cheers – Lisztian Dragon – July 23, 2011
I don't own Friends – and I don't own the concept of The Amazing Race.
Because of how much research and crap that I have to do – expect at most a weekly (I will aim for Sunday evenings (EST time)) update – since I am writing Trysts as well!
And I swear I will finish this, as well as Trysts – even if it kills me. :D
Prologue and Preparations
M\|/C
Chandler Bing contentedly walked the streets of New York City, happily humming to himself after a rather decent day at work. Despite it being February, it was a relatively mild day outside and Chandler was eager to spend the rest of his evening with his beloved wife Monica doing you-know-what that couples do.
He reached the apartment and walked up the stairs. When he finally reached Apartment number 20, he retrieved his keys from his coat pocket and briskly opened the door.
The sight that greeted him was definitely not what he was expecting.
"Honey, I am home!" He called out his traditionally greeting – signalling that he was home.
"Chandler! Chandler! Guess what?" His wife ran up to him with an enthusiastic grin and greeted him with the customary hug and kiss.
Chandler noticed that she's holding an envelope in one hand.
"Hmm... Did Ross and Rachel finally elope again? Did George W. Bush grow an extra head?" Chandler replied jokingly.
"No, sweetie – we got an invitation!" Monica could hardly contain her excitement.
"An invitation to what? The Queen's ball in England?"
"Nope! Wrong again! Remember those really long applications we filled out awhile ago and that video we made..." Monica attempted give Chandler some hints.
Chandler processed the information slowly.
"What? We got invited to participate in The Amazing Race - despite that utterly ridiculous and ludicrous video that we made?" Chandler exclaimed in a bewildered fashion.
"It couldn't have been that bad – if they wrote back and said that they loved it!" Monica defended.
"Oh my god! We are actually going to be racing around the world for a million bucks!" The full implications of the invitation had just struck Chandler full force.
"Oh my god! We will be travelling all around the world for free! And we are so going to win the money!" Monica started to do a little dance.
Chandler joined in and they ended up having a very celebratory night – not too different from the one that he had been envisioning earlier – with champagne. Lots of it.
P\|/J
"Hey Phoebs! Did you get this rather strange looking envelope today?" Joey waved an envelope in front of Phoebe's face.
Phoebe looked questioningly at the envelope in front of her face before her eyes lit up.
"Hell yeah, Joey Tribbiani! We are going to see the world!" Phoebe exclaimed.
"And I get to see all the hot chicks that the world has to offer!" Joey smiled as he conjured up interesting mental images in his mind.
"Joey!" Phoebe yelled exasperatedly and slugged him on the shoulder.
"Sorry Phoebs, got a little carried away – you will always be my number one girl!" Joey reassured her with a puppy-dog look.
Phoebe gave Joey an I-forgive-you-look.
"We might even be going to London, baby!" Joey broke the silence.
"Yeah! Since you lot all got to go, but me!" Phoebe looked sadly.
Joey hated to see Phoebe sad – so he quickly came up with something to cheer her up.
"Oh don't worry Phoebs, we will see many other places – and just the two of us!"
"And we are so bringing that dough home!" Phoebe's sad expression immediately transformed into a determined one.
"One million dollars! Imagine how many hot chicks I can score with that! And all the food!"
"Joey!" Phoebe groaned.
Some things never changed.
"Alright, alright!" Joey held out his hands in mock-surrender.
"We need a plan – if we want that money." Phoebe scratched her head.
Joey and Phoebe sat down at Joey and Rachel's kitchen counter and started to brainstorm some ideas.
R\|/R
Ross and Rachel were happily taking a walk together in Central Park – enjoying their time alone as a couple. They had both managed to take the day off and spent much of the time pursuing activities that couples typically do – such as taking leisurely walks.
"I can't believe we are going all around the world!" Rachel smiled at Ross.
"Yeah... And doing it together with you!" Ross replied happily.
"I hope we go to Paris – and I hope they give us some time to shop and look around!" Rachel exclaimed
Ross looked at Rachel oddly. He knew from shows from previous years that the Amazing Race was not a relaxing affair – but rather a strenuous and challenging task that left one way too exhausted to do touristy things.
"You do know that we are going to be there to race! Not to sight-see and spend hours browsing through stores!" Ross replied.
"Aw, Ross, we probably do have time!" Rachel pouted
"Nope, I don't think so." Ross firmly replied back.
"Alright, whatever you think is best." Rachel sighed.
"And besides, if we win those one million dollars – you can always go to Paris and buy whatever you want!"
Rachel brightened up.
"And we can go travelling where-ever we like too!" Rachel looked all excited at the prospect.
"Well, first things first – we've got to get that million bucks – you in Rach?"
"Definitely!"
Rachel and Ross high-fived each other and decided to head off towards Ross's apartment.
M\|/C
"Monica! Can we stop and rest now! I feel like I am going to fall flat on the ground!" Chandler barely managed to get the words out.
Monica and Chandler had been out running in Central Park and had started almost three-quarters of an hour ago. Monica was in her element – tirelessly pounding the pavement – while Chandler just wanted to fall over and die.
"Fifteen more minutes, honey and we can call it a day!" Monica shouted.
"Oh my god! If the Race doesn't kill me, this boot-camp will absolutely do me in!" Chandler muttered mutinously to himself.
Said boot-camp had consisted of them running at 6:00 AM every day when the weather allowed for it, working out at the gym at least twice a week and doing various exercises before turning into bed every night.
At least – Chandler reflected – that he was actually in better shape physically than he had ever been in his life.
"What was that, Chandler Bing?" Monica asked with suspicion dripping in her tone.
"Nothing, dear! Absolutely nothing!" Chandler quickly covered.
"Ten more minutes left!" Monica shouted back at Chandler.
So for the next ten minutes, Chandler struggled to keep up with Monica. When she finally stopped, Chandler supported himself with one hand against a large tree, sweat dripping all over his forehead and drenching his clothes.
"Now doesn't that feel good!" Monica exclaimed while spreading her arms out above her head in a stretch.
"I think you better call 9-1-1 – I am going to have a heart attack!" Chandler groaned.
"Aw... Chandler – let's go back home and take a bath – together!" Monica grinned.
Monica grabbed Chandler by the arm and they walked back home to their apartment.
P\|/J
"Hey Phoebs? Are you any good at swimming?" Joey asked.
Phoebe and Joey were standing in front of an enormous swimming pool at the local community center and were dressed in their bathing suit and trunks, respectively.
"Kind of!" Phoebe grinned.
"Really, what strokes can you do?" Joey asked another question eagerly.
"Oh, oh! I can do the doggy-paddle and that stroke where it looks like you are slapping the water!" Phoebe smiled.
"Nice! Wanna race?" Joey had a very excited expression on his face.
"Oh yeah! On the count of three?"
"Three!"
"Two!"
"One!"
Phoebe and Joey both simultaneously dove into the pool and in a flurry of arm and leg movements that caused rather huge sprays, propelled themselves through the water. Phoebe got to the other end first and Joey gasped for air as he reached for the wall after her.
"Tribbiani! You've got to move a bit faster if you want to catch me!" Phoebe smiled playfully at Joey.
"Hey, I let you win that one!" Joey defended himself.
"Oh yeah? Then let's have a rematch!"
"You are on!"
A moment later, they both took off again, furious splashes trailing after them.
R\|/R
Rachel and Ross were sitting on Ross's sofa, going over the details from the invitation very carefully.
"Be sure that you are able to travel to all of these places during the months of July and August – acquiring the required visas will be you responsibility." Rachel read from the letter.
"Woah, that's a lot of visas to get!" Ross looked over the list.
"Mm... Argentina, Brazil, Chile, UAE, Canada, United Kingdom, all of Europe, Russia, Mongolia, India, China, Japan, Australia, South Africa, Ghana, Egypt, New Zealand, Mexico, Iceland, Indonesia, Pakistan, Turkey, Vietnam, Thailand, Uganda, Zimbabwe, Singapore – " Rachel continues reading.
"Alright, Rach, I think we get the point!" Ross interjected.
"We aren't going to all those places, are we, Ross?" Rachel asked dubiously.
"No, they only gave us this huge list so we don't know where we are going." Ross sighed.
"Yeah, there's no way we could go through all that in thirty days."
"I hope we get to go to China – there's some interesting fossils that I saw last time I went!" Ross reminisced nostalgically.
"Ross! We probably won't get to see any fossils – especially if you said we had no time to do other things!" Rachel reminded him.
"Right, I guess we should probably go look into which visas we have to get – and where."
"Sounds like a plan – do you have your laptop?" Rachel inquired.
"Yup, let me go get it!"
Ross got up from the couch and went to go retrieve his laptop from his room.
P\|/J
"So, Phoebe, what are we doing here at this building, in this very long line?" Joey asked.
"We are getting our visas, Joey – it's like your ticket to certain countries!" Phoebe explained.
"Oh, like movie theatre tickets!" Joey replied knowingly.
"Yup, if you don't have one – you can't go!"
Joey and Phoebe had been waiting in a large line filled with people of Asian ethnicity at the Consulate for the People's Republic of China for the past hour.
"So what did your psychic say about our chances of winning?" Joey asked Phoebe.
"Oh, he said that I will win at something in the near future - but he didn't know what exactly." Phoebe replied back.
"Ooh! That sounds good!" Joey smiled dreamily.
"Well, it could be anything – I could win the lottery, I could win a million bucks, or even win the next measly game of rock, paper scissors!" Phoebe sighed.
"Aw... That's terrible!" Joey exclaimed at the last thing Phoebe mentioned.
"At least it's better than losing at everything!" Phoebe replied.
"Let's try it out!" Joey suggested a few seconds later.
"Okay!"
"Rock, paper, scissors!"
"Oh, I beat you!" Joey grinned – scrunching up Phoebe's rock with his paper.
"Looks like my future win isn't for that game!" Phoebe grinned.
"Y'know Phoebs, I think we are the only white people in the line, Phoebs." Joey took various glances around.
"I don't think so, look over there Joey!" Phoebe pointed to a couple.
"Hey, don't those people kind of look like Ross and Rachel?" Joey puzzled.
"You are right, Joey! They do look like Ross and Rachel!" Phoebe squinted.
"What are they doing here? I never knew that they were going to China!" Joey looked very confused.
"I didn't either!"
"You wanna go ask them later?"
"Sure. Joey – did you bring your passport?" Phoebe asked.
"My passport – it's in my drawer! Can't lose that!" Joey exclaimed.
Joey thought a little more. Suddenly it dawned on him!
"Oh my god! I forgot to bring my passport!"
"Joey Tribbiani – why did you not mention this earlier? Now we have to come back tomorrow!" Phoebe sighed.
"Sorry Phoebs – totally slipped my mind!' Joey groaned.
R\|/R
"Ross, honey, isn't that Phoebe and Joey?" Rachel pointed to two people at the end of the line leaving for the front door.
"What?" Ross turned around to look at the two rapidly vanishing figures in the distance.
"Phoebe and Joey!" Rachel repeated herself.
"You are right, Rach! What on earth could they be doing here?" Ross inquired.
"They never mentioned that they were going to go to China!" Rachel exclaimed.
"Come to think of it – everyone has been acting kind of secretive these past few months..." Ross mused.
"Yeah, even Monica and Chandler are always off gallivanting somewhere!" Rachel presented more evidence.
"Do you think..." Ross trailed off.
"Nah, it seems horribly unlikely if we are all racing this summer." Rachel interrupted Ross's question.
"Yeah. It's statistically almost improbable." Ross agreed.
"Thank goodness that this our last visa that we need to get – I am frankly getting tired of lining up in these long lines!" Rachel gave a relieved sigh.
"We are almost at the front, anyways." Ross nodded.
"Oh look, we are next!" Rachel exclaimed after a group of people in front of them moved to the next available counter.
M\|/C
"This is pretty nice, Chandler!" Monica sighed as she dipped her paddle in the water.
"Yeah. We are pretty good at this, aren't we?" Chandler grinned back at her.
"I know!" Monica flashed Chandler a big smile.
Monica and Chandler were paddling a canoe in a river in a National Park somewhere close to New York City.
"I can't believe we are almost through that list you made a few months ago of everything that we needed to know how to do before the Race starts!" Chandler exclaimed.
"Yup, it's been an interesting few months."
"Indeed." Chandler replied back.
"Oh look, rapids!" Chandler pointed downstream.
"Okay, let's not talk now." Monica suggested.
With intense concentration, Monica and Chandler avoided all the rocks in the rapids with rather skilful teamwork and it wasn't long before they reached the bottom of the series of rapids. They both shared a grin and a high five.
"That was a little a scary." Chandler admitted, wiping some sweat of his brow.
"Yeah, it was a little." Monica replied.
"But better to be scared now than later." Chandler said rather wisely.
"Oh, of course!" Monica nodded.
The two of them paddle in silence for a while, admiring the peacefulness of their surroundings and enjoying each other's company.
"Chandler, whatever they tell us to do on that Race, no matter how crazy, we are going to do it, okay?" Monica inquired.
"Well, we have very little choice in that matter – but I will try and not be a big chicken!"Chandler remarked.
"Oh, you will be fine!" Monica replied reassuringly.
"I hope so! I mean, commitment used to be my biggest fear, and look at me now!" Chandler brandished his paddle in the air.
"Yup – happily married now!" Monica grinned.
"Of course."
The two of them placed their paddles in the boat and moved closer to share a kiss or two in the middle of the river.
R\|/R
"Rachel! There's no way we can bring all that clothing with us!" Ross looked horrified at all the clothes that Rachel had piled up on her bed.
"But, Ross! I have too!" Rachel pleaded.
"We have to carry everything we bring on our backs – and frankly I don't think they will even fit in our backpacks!" Ross exclaimed.
"But –" Rachel started again, but was cut off by Ross.
"No buts Rach." Ross went to sit on Rachel's bed and began to sort through the massive pile of clothes.
Rachel looked on with dismay as she saw Ross firmly place many of the clothes that she had picked out in the "no bring" pile.
"If I run out of clothes, Ross Geller – it will be all your fault!" Rachel blamed.
"Hah, like that's ever going to happen," Ross muttered to himself.
"I heard that!" Rachel flung a pillow at Ross.
"And you do know, we probably will have a chance to wash our clothing too – so there's no need to bring thirty sets of outfits either!" Ross placed the pillow back on the bed.
"Hey guys, what'cha doing?" Joey walked into Rachel's room.
"Packing." Rachel replied nonchalantly.
"Where are you guys going?" Joey persisted.
"We can't tell you." Ross replied.
"Oh that's funny; Phoebe and I are going somewhere too, in like three days!" Joey began to think hard.
"Really, we are too!" Rachel exclaimed excitedly.
"We will tell you, if you will tell us!" Joey offered.
"But that's against the rules!" Ross warned.
"Oh you guys have rules?" Joey replied knowingly.
"Do you know something that we don't know?" Rachel asked cryptically.
"Do you know something that I don't know?" Joey winked.
"Oh stop it!" Ross face-palmed.
"You know what; I have a gut feeling that we will know in three days! Good bye Ross and Rachel!" Joey closed the door on the way out.
"You know what Ross; I think we both know where we are going." Rachel said as soon as Joey had shut the door.
"And I have a feeling that it is going to be the same place too." Ross replied.
"What a small world," Rachel sighed.
M\|/C
"Toothbrushes!" Chandler exclaimed while reading off a rather extensive list.
"Check!" Monica placed a pair of toothbrushes in a clear-waterproof plastic bag.
"Toothpaste."
"Check!" Monica dropped a medium sized tube of toothpaste in the bag.
Chandler quickly went through all the toiletries, and Monica placed the bag in one of their large backpacks.
"Sunscreen!" Chandler called out.
Monica ran towards the kitchen and hunted through the cupboards to find the bottle. She placed that in the backpack.
"Shame we can't bring any maps." Chandler commented.
"Yeah, too bad – we will just have to make use of whatever we can find at the local places." Monica sighed.
"Oh well, how about the tarp?" Chandler asked.
"It's right over here!" Monica grabbed a rolled up bundle and stuffed it in one of the bags.
"Sleeping bags?" Chandler inquired.
"Got it!" Monica pointed to two other rolled up bundles on the ground.
"Let's just put our bags of clothes in and I think we are finished!" Chandler replied.
"Oh, I almost forgot about my notebook!" Monica ran into her room and came out with a simple small book.
"Right, we should keep track of everything we do, just in case we need to remember something." Chandler grinned knowingly.
"Yeah, they like to have memory tasks at the end." Monica agreed.
The two of them finished packing up their clothes, Monica's bag of tools that they double checked to ensure that they could be carried on in planes, reusable water bottles, some heavy duty gloves, some string, a simple first-aid kit and a few other articles.
"Let's weigh them." Chandler goes into the washroom and took out a scale.
Monica placed one of the bags on it. She repeated the step for the other bag.
"Looks fine to me." Monica remarked.
"Yeah. I guess we are ready for tomorrow, aren't we?" Chandler smiled.
"Oh yeah. Most definitely. The other racers won't even know what hit them!" Monica exclaimed.
"Well, seeing that we actually finished everything before schedule – why don't we schedule in some naked fun time?"Chandler asked mischievously.
"I like the way you think, Mr. Big!" Monica winked back as Chandler reached down, picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.
P\|/J
Phoebe and Joey were having an Amazing Race marathon at Phoebe's place. They were both sprawled out on the couch and sharing an enormous bowl of popcorn between them. They had already packed – Phoebe had double and triple-checked everything Joey had decided to bring on the race. She especially made sure that Joey had his passport with him.
"You know what, Phoebs?" Joey started.
"What, Joey?" Phoebe inquired.
"I think all of us are going to be in San Francisco tomorrow – at the starting line!" Joey exclaimed.
"What do you mean by all?" Phoebe asked.
"You know, Ross and Rachel and Chandler and Monica!" Joey replied.
"How did you know that?" Phoebe looked rather suspiciously at Joey.
"I had an interesting conversation with Ross and Rachel a few days ago and they dropped enough hints that even I – Joey Tribbiani can put the pieces together!"
"Oh really? How about Mon and Chandler?" Phoebe pressed further.
"Oh that's easy. They've been all secretive since February and I've actually seen Chandler work out! Chandler never works out!" Joey exclaimed.
"You are right, Joey – Chandler does look pretty fit these days!" Phoebe agreed.
"So I guess we know that we are all going – but the others don't!" Joey smiled.
"Joseph Tribbiani – you are smarter than you look!"
"Thanks, Phoebs!"
The two friends quietly settled back on the couch and proceeded to continue watching.