I got this idea from my best friend, whose dog had fleas when I last went over to his house and we both freaked out that we had fleas. So enjoy!

By the way, one day I will be able to make another made up as well as Anne. LOL

"Anne what are you doing?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrow at his eldest daughter.

"Nothing…" Anne mumbled, before going back to scratching behind her ear with her fingers and pulling a face.

"You're scratching!"

"Really?"

"Anne!"

"Ok, so I'm itchy, leave me alone!" Anne snapped, glaring at her father and quickly putting her hands in her lap.

"Oh dear god no…" Remus mumbled, staring at his daughter and raising an eyebrow. He had seen Sirius scratch like that before, and it always meant something bad! No matter where Sirius was scratching! "Anne come here…" He said softly, trying not to freak Anne out, which was easy to do when she was hiding something.

Anne snarled loudly at her father, backing away from the couch and looking around the room to try and find an exit away from him.

"Anne. Come here!" Remus stated again, his voice getting a little louder in anger.

"No!" Anne yelled, scrambling past him and catching him off guard enough to knock him away and run up the stairs and lock herself in her room.

"What's wrong, get herself pregnant?" Sirius asked, walking in to the room and grinning.

"No, it's worse!" Remus growled, glaring at Sirius.

"How can anything be worse then her getting pregnant?" Sirius asked, staring at Remus like he was on some mind altering drugs. "Does that girl look like mothering material to you? I mean, do you want your grandkid named Tinkle or something weird like that? And don't even get me started on her cooking and house keeping skills!" To prove his point, Sirius picked up one of Anne's socks that were just discarded on the ground.

"She was scratching…" Remus stated, wondering how long it would take Sirius to think of something dirty.

"She has herpes? Cause that is a bitch of a thing to get! I mean… Wait… YOU DON'T THINK I GAVE THEM TO HER, DO YOU?"

Remus shook his head, trying to ignore the overwhelming urge to thwack his head against the wall until his brain was in a pile of mush enough for Sirius to be able to converse with him. Or maybe he should just get a friend whose mind could leave the gutter for more then three seconds.

"I think she has fleas, Sirius." Remus stated, pinching the bridge of his nose to stop himself from getting a headache.

"Oh…" Sirius said, putting his hands in his pockets and rocking back and forth on his heels. "Well… I don't know anything about that!" trying to sound innocent and failing. "I'm just gonna go to my… Bedroom… To read… Yes… To read…" He added, quickly trying to walk past Remus.

"Oh no you don't, Sirius! Show me your arms!"

"Why, wanna see my muscles?"

Remus groaned and grabbed Sirius's arm, before groaning louder and glaring at Sirius. "You gave my daughter fleas!" He nearly yelled, gripping on to Sirius's arm.

"How do you know she didn't give them to me?" Sirius argued, trying to pull his arm away.

"Where the hell did you even get fleas?"

"Under the house probably… I don't know!"

"GO DOWN THE BLOODY STREET AND BUY SOME FLEA POWDER!" Remus roared, shoving Sirius to the door. "NOW!"

"Oh no… Not a flea bath!" Sirius begged, trying to use his best puppy dog eyes.

"Yes a flea bath! And you can go explain to my daughter why she is so itchy and needs to take a bath in smelly stuff!"

"But she'll kill me!"

"Exactly!" Remus said, opening the door and pushing Sirius out on to the front step. "And remember, one more time, and I swear I will put a flea collar on you again!"

"I am not a dog!"

"So why do you have fleas?"

"Fuck you!" Sirius mumbled, walking out the door and slamming it behind him.

I might do a second one of this with Sirius trying to explain to Anne how she got fleas. But I don't know. LOL