(A/N: This takes place in the 7x06 AUverse, at an unspecified time after Castle visited. Having had a lot of drama in my life, I felt the need for something humorous & fluffy. Thanks to Linda_inDC for the editing, & giving me something new to laugh about today.)

"Captain's log, Stardate 64753.5. While en route to Earth for a symposium, the Ichiban has picked up a distress signal from the U.S.S. Cashew, last reported near the Narendra system. I have led an away team on board to determine what transpired, but have become separated from my other officers. I have also been unable to access the sensor logs to determine what happened."

Castle stood in the middle of the living room, staring down at the tricorder in his hand, as he tapped a few keys. "I'm picking up life signs," he said aloud. "Bearing 2-4-0, mark 3-1-6, 20 meters ahead." Castle closed the device and stuck it in his belt, as he headed toward the door to his office. As he entered, he found himself staring at what he could only think of as a beautiful woman's body. However, that thought came to a screeching halt when he saw the monster head on top of it. Drawing himself up, ignoring the pull of protesting muscles in his chest, he said, "I'm Captain Richard Castle, of the Federation starship Ichiban."

The creature just unleashed a series of growls and snarls, but made no move to advance on him. Castle frowned, and tapped his comm badge. "Computer, tie into the tricorder, and attempt a translation."

The creature continued to snarl and growl, but after a few minutes, words began to emerge. "Lieutenant…Chloe…Miller…starship…Geddon."

Castle smiled. "Lieutenant Miller, can you help me find my away team?"

"Away…team?"

"The people I came on board with. I can't seem to find them. Do you know where they are?"

Miller shook her head. "Team…dead…likely eaten…by Creavers."

"What's a Creaver?" asked Castle, as he scanned the room.

"Me," she said, pointing to her chest. "My species is a Creaver."

"Looks like the translator is beginning to work," he replied, as he pulled his phaser. "Stay close to me, Lt. Miller. If you haven't eaten me yet, it's safe to say your people won't take kindly to you."

"Maybe not," she said, as she slid a weapon out. "My choice to join with the humans against them in the Human-Creaver war didn't make me a hero among my people."

"Human-Creaver war?" asked Castle, frowning as he turned to her. "When did this happen?"

"About 3 years ago," said Miller, turning to him. "Why?"

"Lt. Miller, what's the Stardate for you?"

"Stardate?"

Castle tapped his comm badge. "Castle to Ichiban," he said. "Ichiban, respond."

"No luck?" Miller asked. Castle shook his head. "Let me try my ship," she said, pulling out a device and fiddling with it. "Miller to Armageddon. Do you read me?"

Before Castle could respond to that, there was a knock at the door. Both he and Miller turned to look at it, just as a familiar voice echoed through.

"Yo, Beckett!" cried Esposito. "You in there?"

Castle groaned, as Beckett yanked off the mask. "Boy, they really know how to ruin the mood, don't they?" he asked.

Beckett smiled. "At least it wasn't your mother again."

"God as my witness, there was no way for me to know that it wasn't you!" he said.

Beckett shook her head. "It's unlocked, Espo!" she cried.

Esposito walked in with Ryan, but stopped short, upon seeing Castle and Beckett. "You better hope that book's a bestseller, bro," he said. "Because you are paying my therapy bills, after seeing this."

Beckett rolled her eyes, and threw the mask on the couch. "What do you want?" she asked.

"We caught a break on our home invasion murder, but the 15th has the guy our suspect is claiming as an alibi. Robbery won't release him till they've processed him, so we're kinda hoping you can talk to them."

"You could've just called me," Beckett sighed, as she bent down to take off the boots she was wearing.

"Well…that's the thing," said Ryan sheepishly. "The head of Robbery at the 15th insisted on seeing you in person."

"Why?" asked Castle. "Who is it?"

Beckett groaned, as the realization set in. "It's Demming, isn't it?"

Ryan and Esposito nodded. "And if we want this guy's alibi, you need to talk to him."

Beckett sighed. "Give me a moment to get changed," she said, as she walked into Castle's bedroom. Esposito turned and stared at Castle.

"What?" he asked, as he put the phaser back in his belt.

"What kind of Sci-Fi nerd crossover were you two doing?" asked Espo, as he stared at Castle's outfit.

"Well, he's obviously a Starfleet captain," said Ryan, as if it were the most obvious thing. Esposito glared at Ryan. "What? Black suit, gray shoulder pads, red collar? He's a Starfleet commander. And four pips on the collar indicate the rank of captain. Besides, he was off-"

"I don't wanna know how you know that," said Esposito, cutting Ryan off. "And I'm yanking your Man Card from both of you."

Before Castle or Ryan could respond, Beckett walked out, dressed in regular clothes. "All right," she said, "let's go get this over with." The three of them headed for the door, before Castle spoke up.

"Lt. Miller," he said. Beckett turned around, eyebrow raised. Castle emitted a series of growls and snarls. Beckett threw her head back, and began laughing. Ryan and Esposito looked at Castle.

"What did you tell her?" asked Ryan. Beckett tried to reply, but continued to howl. Gripping her arms in their hands, they escorted her off to the elevator.

Castle looked up as the door opened, seeing Beckett as she walked in. "How'd it go with the 15th?" he asked, as she walked toward the couch.

"Pretty good," she said. "But…eh…I may have gotten us roped into going to dinner next Sunday with him and his girlfriend."

Castle sighed. "What time?" he asked.

"Around 7:30, at Q3." Beckett looked around. "Where's your mom?"

"I don't know, and the less I know, the better," he replied. "She said something about a late rehearsal, so I'm hoping that means she'll be gone the rest of the night. Why?"

"Well," she said, biting her lip, "we could pick up where we left off, captain."

Castle sat up straighter. "Why, lieutenant, are you suggesting a meeting in the captain's quarters?"

Beckett nodded. "And, I have a surprise for you."

"Really?" he replied eagerly. "What?"

Beckett reached into the bag she set on the coffee table, and pulled out a slice of salami. Castle frowned in confusion. "I don't get it," he said.

"What were you trying to say before I left?" she asked, as she began to unwrap the meat.

"Have a safe trip, and always steer toward the stars," replied Castle. "Why?"

Beckett giggled. "Your Creaver needs some work," she said. "What you actually said was, 'I'd like you to spank me with a piece of salami.'"

Castle stared at her, before dawning comprehension broke on his face. "No," he said.

Beckett held up the meat, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Uh huh," she replied.

"Don't you dare," he warned, as he backed off the couch away from her.

"O captain, my captain, your meat awaits," laughed Beckett, as she stood up.

"Beckett, get away!" cried Castle, laughing as he ran to his room. Beckett grinned wickedly. "Rawr!" she cried, hot on his heels.