Multiple

by tinylexie

Darken Rahl examines his different personalities.

Fuller Summary: Darken Rahl examines his different personalities: his cruel, power hungry side; his frightened little boy, lonely, vulnerable side; his sarcastic, clever side; and his seductive, pleasure seeking side.

Can someone actually be born evil?

At times I've felt like that was a real possibility,

But at other times I felt like

That was a rather narrow-minded way

Of looking at the world.

Am I evil?

I can't decide on that one

Because I don't feel like I'm evil,

But I don't feel like I'm good either.

I'm not exactly neutral either, though.

I honestly don't know what I am,

Even though I think it's safe to say

That I'm neither good nor evil.

I'm somewhere in between,

Even though at times

I'm closer to the evil side,

While at other times

I'm closer to the good side.

I honestly don't know

What side I'm really on, though.

Most of the time I don't know

What to think or what to believe.

All this confusion

Can really drive a person crazy sometimes.

Some people think I am mad,

So maybe all this makes some sense after all.

I was born into a world that wanted me dead,

That said I was evil.

Well, I wasn't about to let the world

Have what it wanted.

I was going to fight back.

Prophecy said that I was going to be an evil tyrant,

So I decided that's what I was going to become.

It's really not nice to disappoint prophecy,

Yet sometimes I wish things could be different.

Sometimes I wish I could be different.

No, I will not think that way.

I will not be weak.

I will be stronger than the world.

I will be stronger than even the Seeker.

He may have been born

With the most powerful Han in the world,

But he does not have the dark heart

To use his power as it ought to be used.

I really should have been born with his Han.

At least I would know how to use it correctly.

I will not be a victim to prophecy.

The Seeker will be the victim,

Along with anyone else

That chooses to stand in my way.

I do not care who gets hurt.

My life is all that matters.

Everyone else is insignificant.

Everyone else exists

Just to serve my purpose.

My destiny is not to die

But to rule the world.

I will be the ultimate power,

And if people must suffer for that to happen,

Then so be it.

That won't disturb me at all.

Life's too short to have a conscience.

In order to preserve my life,

I need the power of the Boxes of Orden.

With that power, everyone would have to obey me.

Yes, that takes away people's freewill,

But I surely could care less about that.

As long as I'm happy that's all that matters.

I was born into royalty,

Surrounded by soldiers and subjects.

I sometimes wish they didn't exist

Because they are quite meaningless to me.

They do serve their purposes, though.

They fight for me.

They kill for me.

They do whatever I command them to do

Because that's what servants are supposed to do.

I, on the other hand, am a master,

And I will one day be the ultimate master

Because what I want

Is the only important thing in this world.

Prophecy said that the Seeker would one day kill me.

Why in the world should I have let him lived?

He deserved to die

Because his existence was a threat

To my existence,

And I couldn't have that happening.

Other babies had to die,

But it's their fault for being born

In the same place where the Seeker was born.

If their parents had wanted their children to live,

They should have moved somewhere else.

I thought that all was well,

But then one night I discovered

That the Seeker still lived.

My soldiers are really quite disappointing.

Why they were even born in the first place

Is beyond me.

They're worthless,

And the worthless ought to be eliminated.

It's survival of the fittest,

And I couldn't imagine a better way to live than that.

Torturing the inferior definitely brings me great delight.

The pain of others excites me, no, it arouses me.

I had to destroy the Seeker,

But first someone had to pay.

Besides, I needed blood for my journey book.

What's another death to me?

Death, after all, is a natural part of life,

And if death is what's needed to make me happy,

Then I'm all for the spilling of blood.

I hate the Seeker.

I hate the Mother Confessor for loving the Seeker.

I hate everyone who loves the Seeker.

I hate everything about the world of the living.

Everything should belong to me,

But the Seeker keeps on ruining my life.

He is keeping me from being pleased,

And I feel like I deserve some joy in my life,

Especially since prophecy

Has made my life so miserable.

No matter, though, I will have what I want.

I will have everything that I want.

I will have dominion over the world,

And I will have control over everything

That belongs to the Seeker.

I'm all alone in the world.

No one understands me.

No one wants to understand me.

I'm just a monster to everyone,

But I'm not.

I'm so much more than that.

I didn't ask to be evil.

I didn't ask to be born in the House of Rahl,

With a father who would always prefer

His other son, the Seeker, over me.

Why couldn't I have been born as the Seeker?

Why couldn't I have been born as the great hero?

I see mothers hugging their children.

I see young men and young women

Kissing each other and holding hands.

It's really quite a disgusting sight.

At least, that's what I keep on telling myself,

But at times, I feel sad

Whenever I see displays of love and affection.

Sometimes I wish someone would just hold me.

No, I can't afford to be so weak.

My only contact with people should occur

When I have either a dagger or a sword in hand.

No, I don't really want to think that way either.

At times, my soul becomes weary

With all the death and the misery

That I'm constantly surrounded by,

The same death and misery that I am responsible for.

I have no one to blame but myself, though.

I choose to become prophecy's great evil,

But I feel like I had no other choice.

No, I should have just accepted my fate.

I have no reason to live.

I'm not the great and noble Seeker; I'm nothing.

I wish, though, that I could be worth something.

I wish that I could be more than just some monster

That is destined to be destroyed by someone

Whose greatness cannot be described by mere words.

I would gladly put myself through agony

In order to be meaningful.

I just want a chance to prove

That I can actually do good in this world

Just for the sake of doing good.

I was so frightened

When I learned of the prophecy that condemned me.

I didn't want to die.

Unfortunately, I allowed myself to become a monster

In order to save my own skin.

I am selfish.

For that alone I deserve death and eternal torment.

Why am I thinking this way?

Have I gone soft?

I can't afford to go soft.

If I go soft, the Seeker will kill me.

I have to be strong in order to defend myself,

But I wish it could be otherwise.

The Seeker is my baby brother.

I'm supposed to protect him,

Not try to kill him.

I know that prophecy says

That he's supposed to kill me,

And he clearly despises me;

But he's still family.

The Seeker has the Mother Confessor,

Who I love even though I'm not worthy of her.

Only the Seeker is worthy of one such as her,

Yet I still yearn for her.

The Seeker and the Mother Confessor

Truly have something special,

And I wish that I could have something similar.

The Seeker also has his grandfather and Cara,

Cara who once served me not out of love

But out of unspeakable, unforgivable torment.

There is no such thing as forgiveness for one such as I,

Yet I can't help but still desire a family like the Seeker has.

I would do anything for a family

Built on love and respect

Instead of fear and pain.

Perhaps one day I will be able to prove

That I am worthy of forgiveness and salvation.

If only I had not killed my father, my own father.

Perhaps he would have come to love me one day.

Maybe I should have just lived in the Seeker's shadow.

I should not be jealous of my own family, my own blood.

I should love those that are related to me.

I wish they could love me in return.

Maybe one day I can be worthy of their love.

I wish that I didn't have to be so hard and so cold,

But prophecy is prophecy.

Prophecy shouldn't determine someone's fate,

But so many people believe in it.

Is there really such a thing as fate?

There must be, or prophecy would never exist.

Prophecy, after all, is fate.

Isn't it?

The world despises me,

So I guess I have no choice

But to take advantage

Of whoever I can.

I definitely have the ability

To do exactly that.

I have always been a quick thinker,

And I have an uncanny ability

To know what to say to people

In order to get them to react

In a way that I want them to.

I can read people better than any Confessor,

And I know how to use that ability

For my own benefit.

I like to consider myself a genius,

A master manipulator.

Deception may be a cruel thing,

But it's interesting to watch it in action.

You always have to be on your toes.

If you make a misstep, your life will be ruined.

Hopefully it will only be ruined temporary.

I would hate to see life being ruined permanently.

That could possibly be a miserable thing.

Basically, the lesson of the day is

"Be smart or be screwed."

I think that should sum everything up

Simply enough for even a complete fool to understand.

It's so funny when people believe my lies.

I really can't help but be amazed

By some people's complete and utter stupidity.

It never fails to amuse me when people so foolishly

Take their eyes off me.

Don't they know that I can do a disappearing act,

Which will leave them looking like complete and utter idiots?

It's really quite laughable when people think

That they can fool me.

I only let people think that they had succeeded

In deceiving and manipulating me

Because I get a kick out of seeing their expressions

When they realize that they have been blinded

By their overconfidence and their arrogance.

Such blindness is hard to cure,

So people really should try

To keep their sight in check,

Even though their sight

Does them no good against me.

I always win in the end,

Btu I do truly pity the poor souls

Whose heads I leave hanging low

After I am finished pulling their strings.

Lying to others is a game worth playing,

But any fool can tell a lie.

It's much harder to twist the truth

Because people have to decide

Whether you're telling the truth

Or whether you're telling a lie.

People's faces and eyes really look ridiculous

When they're trying to figure that out.

They really ought to just give up

Because I would hate for someone

To do serious damage to their brain

From overexertion.

The damage could possibly be irreversible

And that would be an incomprehensible tragedy.

It should be clear by now that one should live in pleasure

Because living in either anger or agony

Is much too unbearable.

Life's too short to have a purpose

Beyond just enjoying every moment of it.

I'm really quite lucky to have been born

In the House of Rahl.

The Mord-Sith serve the Lord Rahl,

And they do so gladly.

They are eager to please, and so am I.

My body is in perfect condition,

As are the bodies of my Mord-Sith.

My blood boils with ecstasy

Whenever I feel a woman's finger

Trailing down my spine

Or whenever I feel a woman's hand

Making tender contact with my chest,

And I can be gentle in return.

My blood red robes have been tailored

To fit my toned body perfectly.

My blue eyes, which piece and burn the very soul

Of everyone that I gaze upon,

Never fail to captivate

Whatever audience there might be before me.

Whenever I walk, everyone watches my every move

With great anticipation.

Everyone's head turns towards me whenever I speak

In devoted, eager attention.

My voice has caused many to follow me,

Even though they know deep down inside

That they are meaningless to me.

My presence always fills a room.

One can't help but take notice of me,

And I can't help but take notice of a beautiful woman.

Fortunately, there are many beautiful women

That are more than happy to join with me,

Even though the union is a brief one.

A permanent relationship takes the fun out of life,

And life should always be fun.

I don't know how I should live.

My thoughts often confuse even me.

Sometimes it's almost too much for me to bear,

But it is not in my nature to accept defeat.

Victory is what I seek,

Even though the world

Is constantly threatening to crush me.

I have to push it back in whatever way I can.

The results of doing that are not always pleasant,

But just like the Mord-Sith,

Pain has to come before pleasure.

I cannot afford to be weak.

I must be strong; I must be a fighter.

Prophecy seeks to destroy me,

So I have to do what I must

To stop it in its tracks

Before it runs me over.