Author's Note: This answers part of the Happy Days challenge; it was partly to have Hogan and his men in Milwaukee and Chuck Cunningham's disappearance explained by his going into espionage and being undercover. Still, this story explains Howard Cunningham and his friend from the season 1 episode being friends and even the photo album in the episode where Fred and his bride end up getting married in the Cunningham home. Since not all POW camps were horrible places, and in the HH universe one is basically run by the Allies undercover (maybe with more help from Germans than we see on screen) it's possible the worlds could ihave met.
The other challenge is one I tackled on Hogan's end in "Party Poopers." This ise an episode without Klink for the "unexplainably AWOL" challenge, which notes that only Hogan and Klink were never absent from an episode, and how it was strange that others' absences from episodes are never explained. I had Hogan mysteriously not there and not even mentioned in the fic above which I mentioned. Here, it's Klink. As I've stated elsewhere, I've read enough fanfic where Kinch must handle things that it was kind of easy to imagine an episode without Hogan (if he's in London) compared to having an episode without Klink. Hopefully this is good enough.
This is a good deal longer than a normal episode (Imagining a fic airing in my mind and timing it, 4,500-5000 words is about right) since things which wouldn't be covered in the episode are here. For instance, the episode would likely end the opening scene as Howard and Fred follow Newkirk and Carter, with a commercial there, and resume with Hogan asking how they met up.
There are also effects from a couple other episodes which HH fans will recognize. One is simply because it's more palatable to me – but it seems plausible, too. The other, given how Howard's so often seen reading the paper on "Happy Days," seems very reasonable.
Zooming Ahead of the Rest
"Where are we?" Howard Cunningham, a Milwaukee native in his 20s, asked rhetorically.
"I don't know; you're the one with the compass," his friend Fred Washington responded.
"I was the one with the compass." Howard sighed as he looked in his backpack for the third time. "I think I lost it when we took that tumble a while back."
Fred looked at him curiously. "How far is a while?"
"I don't know, twenty miles? Look, you know I own a hardware store, I can build a new one if we just find a place to rest." He muttered aloud, "We're the first Allied soldiers inside Germany, but a lot of good it does us. Maybe we should have tried for Switzerland."
"Yeah, when…" Suddenly, a large explosion rocked everything around them and caused them to collapse to the ground. "What was that?"
"Probably bombers."
"I didn't hear a plane. Shhh," Fred hushed himself and his friend as they scampered further into the woods. Though he was black and Howard was white, and the U.S. Army was segregated, this little adventure had drawn them quite close.
"Oof!' several people said at the same time.
"Oh, hi," Sergeant Andrew Carter said. "Are you escaped prisoners? We didn't think anyone was coming tonight. And we certainly didn't hear about…."
"Andrew, quit jabberin'." The American's partner, British corporal Peter Newkirk, hadn't wanted him to give away any information about what they might know. "By the way, you dropped this," Newkirk chided him as he handed Carter his compass.
"Oh, thanks." He turned back to a befuddled Howard and Fred and turned their astonished looks into ones of panic. "We wouldn't want to leave it out here; I mean, the woods are going to be crawling with Gestapo pretty soon, and the less sign of us…"
Newkirk rolled his eyes. "Come on, Andrew. Follow us, you two. We'll help you find the checkpoint as soon as we can."
"Checkpoint?" Fred asked anxiously as he turned toward Howard.
"We better do as they say," Howard advised lowly. "I don't know who they are, either, but at least they're Allies. They have to be better than Gestapo."
Fred agreed, and they followed. He wondered if these were the men a farmer had mentioned. The farmer had said something about people who could help them get out of Germany.
Newkirk and Carter led them through the woods. As they did so, Newkirk turned toward the newcomers. "Say, I just thought of something. I'm sure you're friendly, but I thought they always housed prisoners of different races separately," he remarked, referring to the fact Fred was black. He presumed these were escaped prisoners.
"Well, maybe they escaped from different camps and met up," Carter suggested. "Say, for instance…"
"Andrew, will you let them talk," Newkirk insisted.
Howard explained that, "Originally we met at a hospital in the States; I had dropped a box of grenades on my foot." It had been a couple years earlier, back in 1942.
Carter chuckled. "Sounds like something I'd do."
"Anyway, I'm Howard Cunningham, and this is Fred Washington."
"Good to meet you; I'm Andrew Carter, and this is Peter Newkirk."
Before they could get any more information out of the men, they approached Stalag 13, where their secret rescue and sabotage operation existed.
Howard guessed what it might be right away. "We're going to a POW camp?" he asked with great astonishment.
"That's just what we've been trying to avoid," Fred said very anxiously.
Newkirk put a finger to his lips. "Relax," he whispered, "we just have to time the search lights. Andrew, go first so they get the timing down."
Down in the tunnel leading to the emergency exit/entrance, Colonel Robert Hogan, leader of the covert operation, stood with a cup of coffee in his head. "Everything go okay?"
"Just fine, Colonel. We found a couple escapees on the way back."
"Doesn't anyone make reservations anymore?" Hogan asked, partly joking, partly complaining. Usually, they'd get some kind of notice from the Underground. However, that didn't always happen; indeed, once his men had run across twenty escapees from one camp. Hence, he didn't think much of a problem existed. They would just process them and get them back to England like they did with any other airmen.
As Howard and then Fred descended the ladder, however, Hogan looked askance at them. Why were they in Army uniforms and not Air Corps uniforms? And, why were they together when the United States military was segregated? Something seemed quite mysterious.
Carter tried to answer it, but gave Hogan more questions when he said, "Colonel Hogan, this is Howard Cunningham and Fred Washington. Guys, this is our CO, Colonel Hogan." As Hogan shook their hands and gave his full name, Carter tried to gauge the reason for Hogan's uncertainty "My guess is they met up after escaping from different camps," he said.
"Pleasure to meet you," Hogan said.
"The pleasure is mine, Sir. If I may, I'm really glad you're willing to shake my hand so quickly," Fred said with a nervous smile.
"We're all fighting for the same cause. I'm more surprised you're U.S. Army; I know we landed in France a while back, but we only get airmen coming this way," Hogan said as Newkirk descended the ladder.
"Well, we are who we say," Fred said. "I was with the 320th barrage balloon battalion." Hogan nodded as Howard explained who he'd been with; he'd been a cook who landed with a group of men after the initial D-Day landings, so they wound up in the same area. Both men gave brief biographies and histories of their assignments during the war.
Hogan held an elbow in one hand and rubbed his chin. "Okay; Carter, ask Kinch to come here, tell him we have someone who he might be more able to interview. Have Baker mind the radio." The colonel led the men toward the center of their tunnel system and said, "I'll admit this is a unique situation." Inside, he was devising ways to check their stories. Normally, they inquired about phony men in squadrons they knew about. Although, the men were from the Milwaukee area, and he knew people in that city, so that would help..
Sergeant James Kinchloe had guessed correctly the meaning of Carter's remark. He smiled as he approached the men. "Hi, I hear you were with the 330th," he said, introducing himself and shaking Washington's hand.
Howard spoke next. "See, Fred, I told you we could have integrated units someday; this unit is. It's just going to take time. It was a lot worse when I grew up in the '20s and '30s." In fact, now that he wasn't worried about the search lights or getting captured, there ws something vaguely familiar about this, though he couldn't put his finger on it yet.
"I guess you're right. But, it's the 320th," Fred corrected Kinch gently.
"Sorry; sometimes Carter talks so fast it's hard to catch what he says," Kinch said with a grin. Washington could certainly believe that. "So, the 320th? You must know my cousin Leroy Kinchloe."
He didn't. He also didn't know any of the other people Kinch mentioned who were in the military, nor did Howard know the people Hogan mentioned. And, other things checked out, too.
"Okay, I think you're clear; we always have to check to make sure there aren't any spies coming in, with the nature of our operation," Hogan explained.
Kinch was impressed by something else. "I thought it was possible you'd know Josh Gibson was a baseball player and not a boxer," he told Howard, "but I'm pleasantly surprised it wasn't just Fred who knew the difference between Frederick Douglass and Booker T. Washington."
"Thank you. I read a lot. I love to have my nose in a book or a newspaper. And, I really do hope one day, people like Fred and I can live side by side." In fact, his would eventually host Washington's wedding in his house.
"Same here. So, how'd you two end up together?" Hogan inquired.
"Well, it's really kind of embarrassing; I was driving somewhere returning from an errand and got lost. I flagged Fred down and asked for directions, but then a lot of shelling came and when he tried to take me back, since he was going that way anyway, we got more lost," Howard said.
Fred stopped him from going further and spouted, "Wait, we're not going to be listed as AWOL, are we?"
"AWOL, what about my wife?" Howard asked insistently. "If they think we got hit they might accidentally send word back that I'm missing in action." He told Hogan, "We were captured once, but as we were being taken somewhere…" He looked at Fred.
"I think we heard the name Strassbourg," Fred informed them.
Howard nodded. "That was it. It was the closest German POW camp for Army soldiers."
"Better make sure if LeBeau's around you call it a French city," Kinch joked to lighten the mood. He could tell the newcomers were still a little anxious.
"We will; the French were wonderful help." Fred had heard comments about the city, which lay in the divisive Alsace-Lorraine region. "When that bombing run came and our truck went off the side of the road, some Resistance fighters helped get us out. Even gave us a vehicle, though we had to ditch it."
"We decided to try to get back to the front, but we knew it was pretty far away yet. We made a wrong turn somewhere and just got more lost trying to avoid Germans," Howard lamented.
"Escaping's risky business. That's why we stay so we can help others," Hogan told them. "We have radio contact with London; we'll make sure word gets back you're okay. We normally only process Allied airmen, but we can make an exception. Kinch, radio London with the names and other info." Kinch had been taking down the information. He nodded and left.
Howard noticed something else. "One of your men, Carter, I think, said something about the woods crawling with Gestapo in a few hours. Why would that be?"
"There was a bridge we had to blow up," Carter explained. He and Newkirk had quickly gotten back into their normal uniforms and removed their black face paint while the others were questioning the newcomers.
Hogan nodded slightly. "That's the other part of our mission." He wished Carter hadn't revealed that – it helped if as few men as possible knew of that part, so they didn't even tell the rescued airmen anything else unless it was necessary. However, since they had apparently been out at the time, rather than risk them putting two and two together later and spilling the beans, it made sense to let them in on it now. Still, Hogan made sure to add, "It's even more top secret than the part where we help escaping airmen, though."
"Oh, I understand; our lips are sealed," Fred pledged.
Howard's eyes grew wide as a look of recognition swept across his face.
"Wait a minute; so that wasn't just propaganda in the papers a while back!" he exclaimed excitedly. He'd seen the story while on leave, reproduced as a blurb in the newspaper where he was. He'd hoped it was possible, although in the back of his mind he'd realized it was probably made up to boost morale. Now, however, he'd seen it was real.
Hogan held his head in his hand and shook it. At least the American press was spinning it as propaganda, but still… "No, we rescued a reporter and warned him to wait till after the war before we sent him through. But, he had to try for a scoop." At least the Germans had been convinced to think that it was propaganda.
Fred was astonished. "Wow. Are the Germans in on this? 'Cause you're underneath a prisoner of war camp!" He hadn't seen the article, which had said they weren't.
"No, but some are willing to look the other way," Hogan explained. He knew there was a British agent, Nimrod, who was possibly important enough he might have helped turn down the heat on the newspaper story, but he didn't want to mention that – or even think it, lest it turn out to be false. He couldn't be sure who Nimrod was or how powerful he was.
"Some look the other way, others are too dumb to know the difference," Newkirk declared as French corporal Louis LeBeau ran up to them, a bit out of breath. "What is it, Louis?"
"Surprise bedcheck, Schultz came in and wants to see everyone here."
Hogan pursed his lips. Kinch couldn't leave the radio in the middle of transmitting, and it would take too long. "Come on, you two," he said as they raced toward the ladder which would lead them up to Barracks 2. "If it's only Schultz it'll be okay." It was.
Hogan and his men - minus Kinch - scrambled up the ladder with Howard and Fred. The ladder disappeared as the bunk lowered just before Schultz was let out of Hogan's office by several prisoners. The rotund sergeant of the guard had an angry look on his face.
"There you are; where were you? And, where is the piece of strudel you said was hidden in Colonel Hogan's office?" he asked LeBeau accusingly.
Carter looked shamefaced. "Sorry, I guess I kind of snuck in and ate it," he said as if he was a child who had swiped the last cookie. "His strudel's just so good."
"Well, make some more. Now then…" Schultz began counting, but quickly realized he had a problem. "…Fifteen, sixteen…" He gazed at Fred, and then turned to Hogan, pointing his thumb back at Fred. "Where is Sergeant Kinchloe? That is not Sergeant Kinchloe."
"I hope I'm not breaking protocol when I say this," Fred said, "but don't you white people sometimes say we all look alike? So, how can you tell?"
Schultz looked back at Fred and replied, "I am not like most people. I happen to be very forward thinking compared to some of my countrymen - and some of yours. Which is why when there is monkey business going on, I like to know noth-ing."
"Good, so we have an understanding. Good night, Schultz," Hogan said as they tried to push Schultz out the door.
He wouldn't budge. "Nein, nein, nein. That is not the only problem. First, I need to know where Sergeant Kinchloe is. Second, why is there an extra prisoner in…" He suddenly gazed at howard and Fred some more. "Wait a minute. Those are not airman uniforms."
"See, it's this way, Schultz. You guys are Army, right?" The newcomers nodded to affirm Hogan's comment. "And, the U.S. Army Air Corps is part of the United States Army; at least till 'Hap' Arnold gets his way after the war. So…"
"Colonel Hogan, I do not care; I don't even know who this 'Hap' Arnold is. All I know is that this is a Luftstalag, and that means the only prisoners who are supposed to be here are members of the Air Corps of one of the Allied nations." Schultz was clearly getting flustered.
Hogan faked shock. "Can you believe this? After all this time. I never thought Schultz would discriminate like this. Did you?"
Howard didn't know what Hogan meant, but he ascertained that he should try to play along, so he agreed. "I'm shocked."
"Me, too; and, I thought the worst discrimination was back home," Fred groused.
"What are you talking about?" Schultz asked adamantly.
"It's simple – you're discriminating against members of the Army just because they're not in the Air Corps," Hogan said, folding his arms. "After all we've done for you."
The fat sergeant sighed. "Colonel Hogan, that is just the way the rules are. You are lucky we are willing to house an officer…." He heard a knock. "What was that?"
"Mice," LeBeau proclaimed.
"Nein, nein; mice do not make knocking noises like that," Schultz said. "There it is again."
"I know what'll make you feel better, Schultz; cover your eyes, and watch me perform a magic trick," Newkirk said. "I made Kinch disappear just now, and I'll make him reappear.'
"You are a jolly joker. Now, I am not in the mood for games. Where is Sergeant Kinchloe?" Schultz asked again.
Hogan stepped forward. "Better let Newkirk perform his magic trick, or you'll never see him."
Schultz covered his eyes and spoke as Kinch came up from the tunnel. "All right, if I have to do it I will, but he'd better be here when you finish with your hocus pocus, or else. You know General Burkhalter is in camp and he does not like to see any monkey business."
"All right. Presto chango, far and near, make our friend Kinch reappear. Open your eyes, Schultz," Newkirk requested.
Schultz peeked, then opened and uncovered his eyes. "That was all?" he asked, stunned.
"Yep, here I am," Kinch said.
"All right, at least now I know…" Schultz turned to leave, and then turned back. "Wait a minute; now there are two extra men."
"Better leave now, Schultz, before more start popping up," Carter quipped.
"Oui; we could have enough men to take all of Germany by the end of the night at this rate," LeBeau chimed in.
"All right. You are up to something. But, as long as you are all here, I am tired, so make sure you save me some strudel next time, and otherwise I will know noth-ing!" The guard left.
Howard finally exhaled. "Wow; that was incredible."
"Nobody's as easy as Schultz. You're lucky you didn't run into anyone else driving here. Although you caught the gist of what to do here really well," Hogan said.
"We took a lot of back roads; plus some farmers helped us out for a couple days," Howard said.
Kinch confirmed that he'd notified London. "They had you as missing, they weren't sure how. We told them you'd been captured and wound up here for sake of ease right now."
"Phew. Thanks for your help," Howard said.
"This is an amazing system. Do you think I could stay here and help?" Fred asked.
Hogan raised an eyebrow. "Well, we can always use help, but wouldn't you want to go back and fight for your country in more relative safety."
"I'm not so sure. See, they'll just look the other way with Howard. But, the Army isn't always kind to people of my race," Fred said. "They could decide to just mark me AWOL or even consider me a deserter." It was the same sort of worrying that could cause him to have cold feet on his wedding day, wondering if he should even go back to France because of how things were.
Hogan pursed his lips. This was a problem with the military. Still, he encouraged Fred that, "It was an honest mistake, and we've all made them."
"That's right; you should see some of the ones I've made," Carter said.
Newkirk nodded gravely. "Me, too."
Howard patted Fred on the back. "Look, whatever you go through, I'll be right by your side, just like after we had to ditch the vehicle and start hiking."
"Where'd you ditch it?" Hogan inquired.
Howard told him – it was far enough back that it wouldn't be a problem. " I guess we're the first Allied Army soldiers into Germany," he concluded.
"Too bad you didn't bring a million tanks with you to overrun the place," Newkirk spouted with frustration.
LeBeau gave him a compassionate look. "I know the feeling. But, tell me," he said, brightening considerably as he spoke to Howard and Fred. "You have both been in France. How is it?"
"It seems fine to me. I think the people are really happy to have us," Howard said.
Fred agreed. "There is part of me that would rather go back there and live than return to America after the war."
"You would love it. Paris is the most wonderful city," LeBeau declared.
"Don't encourage him." Howard turned to Fred. "Look, I know it's hard. But, you can't just run from the problems back home."
"He's right; things have gotten better in the last decade. And, I'm sure they'll keep getting better. You just have to keep the faith," Kinch said. "Where are you from?"
"The Milwaukee area."
"I'm from Detroit. We've got it a lot better than the part of my family in New Orleans. I know there's still problems, but if that's where your family is, you should go back."
"Thanks. Although, for right now…" Fred could tell Hogan was deep in thought. "What's on your mind, Sir?"
"The problem is if you're captured now, you might be blamed for the bridge blowing up. We'd have to wait for the next bombing run. But, then we'd have another problem."
"Why would they be in an airplane when the Army has them listed with them?" Kinch said.
"Right. Unless…" He snapped his fingers. "I've got it."
Carter looked away from the window he was watching for an instant. "I knew he'd come up with something."
"Believe it or not, this time it was Schultz." The others gave him odd looks. "You'll see. You two better get back downstairs and get some rest. We'll start work tomorrow."
The next morning, after roll call, Hogan walked toward Schultz. "Hey, Schultz, sorry about last night," he said amicably.
"That is quite all right. I am just glad that there were only fifteen men in your group this morning, and it was the fifteen men who are supposed to be here."
"No, I mean the comment about discrimination. I know you didn't mean any harm when you said only airmen could be at Stalag 13," Hogan said.
"I understand. Just like I know Carter did not mean to hurt me by eating that last piece of strudel. My children do the same thing to me," Schultz responded.
Hogan was jovial for a moment. "There, see, we can all be friends in this war. I just wish…" He frowned and shook his head. "Never mind."
"You wish what?"
"Oh, nothing, it's just… well, you know my country does some things I'm not proud of. I mean, just like you were saying about how some Americans treat people like Kinch," Hogan went on as he and Schultz walked toward Barracks 2, talking lowly so nobody would suspect Schultz of fraternizing with them.
"Ja, what about it?"
"Well…" Hogan chuckled. "No, it's silly. Just another Army regulation."
Schultz was getting frustrated – he wanted to know why Hogan was being like this, yet he also worried about being pulled into one of Hogan's schemes. "What is another regulation?"
"Oh, it's just the Air Corps men, some of them are really mean to the men in the trenches of all races; always giving them the worst jobs, and worst food, the worst housing. That's why that 'Hap' Arnold wants to make the Air Corps separate, so they're not dominating the others."
Schultz was aghast. "I didn't know that. But, what about Charles Lindbergh and the Wright Brothers and all those famous men? I thought they were heroes who would not do things like that to soldiers in the trenches," Schultz said. He recalled how in the First World War flight had been so dangerous, just surviving it was amazing at times, and so airmen on both sides treated each other with great respect..
"They are; that's the problem. Some of them lately have just gotten too big for their britches," Hogan responded. "Just like your kids, I'm sure the older ones have to be taught to be kind to the younger ones."
"Ja, that is true," Schultz said, a bit perplexed about where this was going.
"So, you know how I've always insisted that men like Kinch be allowed to stay here and be treated with respect?" In reality, someone – perhaps the one they'd learned was code-named "nimrod" - had allowed it, but the more Hogan made Schultz think he was the one responsible, the better it would be for him to make his argument here. "Well, I thought maybe we could get some Army men into this camp to help the Air Corps men learn to get along with them."
Schultz nodded slowly. "But, where did those men go?"
"I thought you didn't want them here," Hogan countered.
"Colonel Hogan, if you are going to bring men in, that is one thing. But, there is a procedure that must be followed to get them transferred to a Luftstalag. And, even if you did, I don't know if the big shots will agree…" Schultz paused. "What am I saying?"
Hogan snickered. "Don't worry, Schultz, I know what you mean. We're both fighting for something higher here."
"Ja; if you can arrange it that is one thing. Just leave me out of your monkey business until it is time to…" Schultz scrunched his eyes shut for a second. What Hogan was proposing had seemed to make sense until he thought about it, but when he did, things were beyond confused; they were downright bizarre. "Wait a minute, how did they get out of the other camp?"
"You want to know nothing, remember? Noth-ing," Hogan told Schultz before going inside. Schultz had to agree – he would rather not know the answer.
Howard and Fred were seated in front of a camera later as Kinch and Newkirk worked on their papers. Kinch took their picture as Newkirk worked on false documents.
"You have some incredible skill," Fred told Newkirk. "It seems almost criminal, except at least you're doing it for the Allied war effort."
Newkirk agreed. "I never had much education. My countrymen and I might be the same race, Fred, but I've had some pretty rough times, because of the class I'm from, and where. Some of the more cultured people see us all as ruffians," he groused. "I went the wrong way a few times, met some not so nice people. But, people like the guv'ner give me hope to stay on the straight and narrow," he said, admiring Hogan for his confidence in him.
"I can see that. It makes me think of what my children will be like with their friends. I could see letting one be a close friend to someone like you were, as long as he knows how to take the lead in the relationship." Indeed, when Howard's son Richie befriended the Fonz, he would be comfortable with it partly because of his time with Newkirk.
Kinch agreed. "That leadership is vital," he said as Hogan approached them. "We're getting them set – but for what?"
"Yes, are we going to get out of here? You said you were worried we might be blamed for the bridge blowing up," Howard said.
"Okay, here's the deal. We just got confirmation – you weren't spotted by anyone near here, but you were seen by a patrol that hadn't had time to investigate a while back – apparently the one soldier who spotted you thought he was seeing things since you didn't have your Air Corps uniforms on," Hogan informed them.
Howard looked at Fred. "That time we scampered into that barn." Fred agreed; that had to have been it.
"Right; anyway, if you'd like to remain here, to avoid having it look suspicious, we'd like you to officially be shot down in the next bombing run."
Howard was stunned. "How do you plan to do that? We're not trained as airmen?"
"You don't have to be – you just need to get transferred and then listed on a flight crew – there's a mission near here soon," Hogan related.
"So then we can avoid capture or stay here," Fred told Howard.
Howard wanted to know, "What are the risks if we stay? I know Fred's thinking about problems if he goes back, but if your operation is discovered…" He trailed off, not wanting to thinka bout such consequences.
"The less you know, the better; most people know there's an operation and they're tailors knitting uniforms, or making things that Carter eventually turns into explosives, or whatever. You've met my core crew; Barracks 2 is for the core plus most of the men who have the most inside info. But, since you only know a few things, you could wind up put in another barracks to be safe. Especially since you're a father," he told Howard. "We try to make plans so everyone can escape if they have to, but there's always that 1% chance, so the family men, we do try to keep them a little more clear of danger," Hogan finished.
Howard and Fred both thought that sounded reasonable.
"You're thinking of staying, too?" Hogan asked Howard.
"Well, I'm a cook in the Army. I know every man is important, but I think I could do more here," Howard admitted. "And, I could see, if I transferred, coming up with the argument that all I have to do is cook in the Air Corps, too."
Hogan informed them, "We could list your transfers as of a year ago, so the Germans think you're just normal flying aces."
Fred was enthusiastic. "I want to do it."
Howard said he'd have to think about it. However, it sounded promising. "We've become friends. I don't know what I'll tell my family after the war, though."
"After what got out from that reporter, they're likely to guess that's how we could be good friends," Fred joked.
Hogan had to admit it was true. "Next thing you know he'll want to help us write our memoirs once this is all over!" He hastened to add that he was joking. "It still needs to be treated as classified; at least for now," he hedged. It wasn't like everything had been revealed. However, it would be necessary to tell of the unit's existence whereas there had been a possibility they wouldn't have beforehand. "Still, if you tell your family an army buddy was of a different race, it might make more sense to say you knew each other before but eventually wound up stationed here, since some of the information, if only the basics, is already out there.."
The following evening, two men would be snuck into camp through the emergency tunnel; a higher ranking officer to swear at least one of them in to the Air Corps and his aide. Newkirk went out to meet them, and bring them in at the proper time. The Englishman was rather surprised; he recognized one man right away.
"I knew they were sending a general, I never expected you, Sir," he said.
The general hushed him harshly. The extreme air superiority of late 1944 didn't mean there was no danger. He looked around nervously. "Do not address me that way," the general snapped. "I am Sergeant Menry Horris… Henry Morris of …" He pulled out phony papers. "I hate this."
"We wondered why we were told to send our British corporal," Newkirk said as he helped the men into the truck – it had been deemed safer to take a truck out and get back in then to try to sneak a general through the emergency tunnel. As General Barton thanked Newkirk for explaining about Hogan, he wondered what the colonel would say – and what was meant by a comment about Barton's own "poor acting ability."
Barton walked up to Hogan before he could think of a response – almost before Hogan knew who he was, given his disguise. "Colonel Hogan, I wanted to come personally when I heard a high ranking officer was needed to swear some men in to the Air Corps. And, to apologize for how I treated you. I'm very sorry."
"Okay," Hogan said in a noncommittal tone, waiting to see what was next. Had Barton wanted to "go through the system" in some way, as if it would somehow make it right after he'd been so malicious before when Hogan helped get him exchanged for a German general.
"To tell you the truth," Barton went on, "I always mistrusted espionage people – probably because I'm a horrible liar myself. I fumbled over my phony ID when your Corporal Newkirk met me here just now, for instance. I've always feared that people in your line of work, well, they'd accidentally spill secrets, because I knew I could never fake my way through stuff."
Hogan was confused. "Wait – you knew about me before you came through Stalag 13?" Barton had sounded like he believed any collaboration was deliberate, though, Hogan mused.
Barton clarified things. "Not specifics; no. But, I knew enough to know a high ranking German wouldn't boast to an American general that his American captor was so co-operative unless he was trying to drive a wedge between us; it's basic psychological warfare. I feared slips, but nobody's so dumb they'd brag about a contact to a man who could ruin that contact. They'd be throwing away any good will they had with him, and probably destroy any chance of getting more info out. No, I figured you were okay, and it was psychological warfare."
Hogan nodded. The general was giving their Kommandant way too much credit – he wasn't sure about Burkhalter - but he supposed that it made sense. "Go on, Sir."
"I reasoned that they did this because you were engaged in it too, maybe trying to discredit that Burkhalter or even their leaders in their eyes. I decided that if that was the case I should play along; that's where my lousy acting came in. I knew if they thought they were succeeding it would make them more amenable to letting me go. For all I knew you' use it to your advantage anyway. I had no idea the extent of your operation, but if I had, I might have guessed that you'd be like me, see the lay of the land and work with it. I went way over the top, though," the general explained. "And, then my fears about espionage came out, too, so maybe my attitude was also aimed at making sure you didn't accidentally let anything slip."
Hogan was nonplussed. "So, you never planned to try to get me in trouble?"
"No, and it's a good thing I didn't. When I explained what I'd done as I got back to London, I was a laughingstock as it was. 'Don't quit the day job' was the only thing I heard from some of my colleagues for days." He chuckled. "You have great friends in London. If I'd tried to pin anything on you because of the word of a German officer, they'd have laughed me out of town."
"So, why'd you ask for me, then?" Newkirk wanted to know.
"I knew how it appeared to you and your men, Colonel Hogan," the general said humbly. "I realized how ineffective I'd been when Newkirk approached me. I overplayed it a lot more than I should have, instead of trying to co-ordinate with you. So, do you forgive me?"
"Well…okay. I guess you didn't mean any of it then," Hogan spoke cautiously, still a bit sore.
"I guess there's a little bit of Carter in all of us," Kinch said to lighten the mood. "I don't recall if you had a chance to meet him, General, but he plays some really bombastic Germans at times."
Hogan finally chuckled, feeling his tension leave. "Thanks, Kinch. I guess your attitude was reminiscent of the roles Sergeant Carter plays on my team, Sir."
He still recoiled at the anger he'd felt, but as he pondered it, the explanation made perfect sense. And, having been witness to some of Carter's exploits – and having heard about others through the grapevine – he could envision how the general could have tried such a ploy. Indeed, had the general known about Hogan in detail, there was the chance he'd have incorrectly guessed that Hogan would try to use such a wedge to complete his mission. He could certainly understand a general, thinking he knew the lay of the land, using German attempts to drive a wedge between them to his advantage, thinking that that was part of the plan.
Feeling a need to vent some of that frustration, though, he added, "But, Sir, my men and I take a lot of pride in our acting, even when it's over the top. We rehearse these things for hours; days if possible. And even if we have to ad lib – and Carter's great at it - we make sure we know the general scope of what's needed for a mission." He skipped a beat and added, "I'm not saying we belong on Broadway, but we try to show more depth than just name calling and threats."
"You've got to at least break stuff, too," Newkirk deadpanned, referring to when Hogan had impersonated a German and gone around breaking lots of stuff – he thought he recalled it was a chemical plant - while insisting that someone be brought to him, and ordering anyone who hesitated to be shot, sent to the Russian front, or a little bit of each.
The general wasn't sure what Newkirk had meant, but took it as a joke based on exaggeration. "Ordinarily I wouldn't like being compared to an enlisted man, but as over the top as I was, I deserve that. I'm sorry I didn't co-ordinate with you. I suppose I just figured you would know what I was doing. So, the final salute was a way to show that I understood and respected you, which would hopefully prevent you from worrying."
"Well, you got that part right," Hogan concurred as Fred and Howard came toward them. "So, have you each made a decision?"
"I'm staying," Fred affirmed, as expected.
"Me, too," Howard echoed. "I wouldn't want a main role, but it sounds like every bit we do here, even if it's only for a few months, will really help."
The general smiled. "You're both joining a wonderful organization. And, I don't just mean the Air Corps. And, who knows; if enough word gets out maybe some of you have a future in acting after all; at least your core group," he told Hogan. "Goodness knows that one reporter did enough," he said, referring to the same article4 Howard had seen. Indeed, that was exactly the type of thing he feared about covert activity."
Each man felt that the war would only last a few more months. And, while the Battle of the Bulge would draw things a bit, it wouldn't be a lot longer. Not only that, but Hogan had things so confused it was unlikely the Gestapo would ever discover their operation. Thankfully, they wouldn't, and the camp would be liberated early in the spring.
A plane landed to pick up the general and his aide; it had been in the latest bombing run's formation before cchanging course. This meant that the general could get safely back to London while anyone who thought they saw a plane come down would see evidence that it had in the person of two airmen who were suddenly brought in to Stalag 13.
Those two "new airmen" were Fred and Howard.
General Burkhalter was interrogating them in the Kommandant's office with Hogan present as well. "Before you are dismissed, there is one small matter." He had gotten no information out of them, but hadn't expected any, either. However, he did want to mention this. "We found no sign of our plane after the two of you had to abandon it last night."
"Plane must have burned up," Hogan suggested.
On cue, Howard said, "We had engine problems, but I guess it kept going further than we thought it would."
"How far will you go to find it?" Fred inquired, also according to plan.
Hogan interrupted the general before he could comment. "Knowing Burkhalter, he'll turn over Heaven and earth to find that plane." Having already annoyed Burkhalter by interrupting, Hogan added, "I mean, it's not like he has any more important things to do."
The general seethed. It was a priority, but not a top priority, and Hogan had made it sound like he had nothing else to do, even with the Allies marching through France and having recently lierated Paris. "For your information, Hogan," he said as he rose, "I have lots of important things to do. And, why are you so interested in whether we find the plane?"
"Because, General, we need our plane back. If it can be fixed we can go out, bring it in, and then scrape some parts together and fly it out of here," Hogan whined.
"Silence! I will not be cajoled into looking for something before I'm ready, especially not by a prisoner!"
"But, General, that plane is top priority to you, too," Hogan persisted.
"I will determine what is top priority to the Luftwaffe in this matter," Burkhalter stormed.
Hogan put his hands on his hips. "General, that plane means a lot to these men after all the time they spent on it; I insist that you search…"
"Silence! If I decide not to search for it till the end of the war I will do so! Now, not another word about it! Out!" He and another guard marched Hogan, Howard, and Fred out of the office.
Schultz stood in front of the men of Barracks 2 as Fred and Howard were marched out of the Kommandant's office in their Air Corps uniforms. He'd just finished conducting a surprise afternoon roll call as requested. "Now, we have two new prisoners, and…" His eyes grew wide as he realized who it was.
"And what?" LeBeau asked impatiently.
"Come on, Schultz, you know this by heart," Carter razzed him.
Kinch did an impression. "This is the toughest POW camp in all of Germany."
Burkhalter ignored the heckling; he just wanted to get out of there. "Schultz, see to these new prisoners before Colonel Hogan adds a giant headache to my other worries," the general ordered vehemently before stomping back into the office.
Schultz shrugged. "I suppose you are all dismissed." As the men milled around the camp, he added, "Colonel Hogan, since there is no more room in your barracks, these men will be housed in barracks 5."
"That's fine."
Schultz was a little stunned that Hogan was so agreeable. "It is?" He shrugged and walked away.
"They won't wonder where the plane is?" Fred asked.
"Nah, you gotta know how to play each German. With Burhkalter, constantly badgering him and making him mad means if he does think of searching for the plane, he'll seethe at my insistence and put it off to show me he won't be ordered around," Hogan explained. "It'll even strengthen Burkhalter's resolve not to let the Gestapo search, because he hates them just as much. Eventually, he'll forget about it then."
"I must say…" Howard realized he needed to make sure nobody was watching. He looked around, then spoke more lowly. "That reporter only hinted at how amazing all this is."
Hogan agreed, though he still culdn't stand how much had been revealed. Before he could make his true frustration known, however, Schultz walked up to them.
"I did not want to say anything in front of General Burkhalter," the fat guard said, "but I wanted to assure you that we will treat you with respect, even though…" He stopped himself. "Wait a minute, now you are both wearing Air Corps uniforms."
"I told you, Schultz, we wanted to integrate them in with the Air Corps," Hogan responded.
Schultz was really befuddled now. "But, Colonel Hogan, that was when they were in the United States Army, not the Air Corps."
Hogan pretended to get defensive. "Well, you're the one who insisted you wouldn't take anyone unless they were members of the Air Corps."
"But, how did they train so fast?"
"How do you know we didn't just have them sworn in as members of the air Corps instead?" Hogan asked.
Schultz laughed. "You are a jolly joker. Even I know that for you to do that you would have had to…" He tried to think. "You would have..." He realized whatever it was would have had to have been done with some of Hogan's "monkey business." Therefore, he changed gears and said, "Never mind. I think it is best if I know noth-ing!" He walked away.
Howard Cunningham gazed at Hogan in amazement. "This is incredible. I'll bet you've had some really amazing adventures."
"I hope you do tell the story after the war," Fred said.
"I plan to – we'll give interviews to every reporter in the country except Walter Hobson," Hogan proclaimed. "And if his paper didn't reprimand him, I'll leave them out, too."
"IF you really want to teach him a lesson, maybe you can give the exclusive to a high school paper," Howard joked. "At least they learn the right way to treat sensitive subjects instead of zooming ahead with anything they can get their hands on." Hogan muttered his agreement and left, and Howard turned to Fred. "Officially, I'll just tell my family I was in the Army. After all, we didn't really do anything in the Air just got discharged and enlisted in the Air Corps so we could come here."
Fred snickered. "Except get captured. And, even that was on purpose. What will we do if anyone asks how we got here?"
"I think the best thing to do is just to admit we escaped that initial capture. People may figure Hogan had some strange plan that caused us to stay here. It makes perfect sense." After thinking a moment, Howard said, "Or, rather, the most sense of anything about the last couple weeks."
"Yeah. I guess we'll have to tell to explain how we wound up as friends. Only so much could have come from you dropping that box on your foot and landing in the hospital," Fred teased.
Howard supposed it was true. "Well, I hear we get writing paper, the first thing I'm going to to do is write Marion and the kids and tell them I'm okay. My oldest will probably think spy work is so cool once the war is over."
"I'm going to go listen to LeBeau tell more about France and the girls there," Fred said.
"You do that. But, Fred," Howard said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay if you want to spend some time in France. But, America's still a nice place. And, things are bound to get better after the war."
Fred had wondered, but he had to admit, "We'll be bunkmates for a few months, anyway. And, given time to get to know you, I might just become convinced to do that."
Happy Days related endnotes: In "The Best Man," Fred speaks of "going back to France," so he may have stayed there a bit before returning to the U.S.. Although it's possible they'd meet as soldiers in a military hospital in 1942(year given in the episode) it's unlikely they'd become close enough to keep in touch the way they seem to have with only that - they'd hardly have time to know each other unless something more long term – weeks if not months – put them together. And, while Howard was in the Army, Hogan's Heroes is a universe where things are slightly . Fred was also injured, . Howard mentions
Howard's oldest, in this case, is likely Chuck, which would lead into the idea that he then chooses to go into espionage and, even just as comments to conceal his true identity, they go around saying they have 2 children. However, their oldest *could* be Richie, and this leads into his interest in Journalism. Chuck was only there a bit, and there is never any mention of him after that. He might call them dad and Mom, and Richie and Joanie feel like siblings, consider that the Fonz was family in all but name later. It's possible that Chuck was not a natural child of theirs, but a cousin, a stranger officially adopted, an unrelated close friend like the Fonz, or whatever. This could have happened late in Chuck's formative years, even into his teens. Then, for some reason, he didn't feel a bond and moved on. They could have chosen to see the Fonz as family but not used family terms for fear of "jinxing it." It's only a theory, but possible, given the way they welcomed the Fonz with open arms despite his background.
Of course, we only see a half hour out of 168 of peoples' lives on any sitcom, and that time is spread out over days or even weeks, so it's very possible he could have had comtact with them in the time we don't see. Of course, that's possible if he really was a natural child and just on the other side of the world, too, but easier to understand the attitude that they only ever had 2 kids. Of course, so is the espionage idea or a tragedy like in my other "Happy Days" story, which you can find in my profile.
Hogan's Heroes related endnotes: One needs a discharge and to sign up with a recruiter of some sort even today to transfer services, so it's nearly impossible, but it can happen, and Barton's presence implies someone high up did push it through; perhaps even as a favor to Hogan. Plus, it might have been easier back then with the Air Corps still technically part of the Army.
This could have been done just as easily with Hogan goading klink into accepting army men and Klink insisting they had to have Air Corps men, but it was just as easy (and perhaps funnier) to have Hogan trying to convince Schultz of it.
This allows this to be an episode without Klink, with him likely on leave and Burkhalter there. No mention is made of Klink so this fulfills the challenge. And, while Burkhalter isn't as gullible as Klink, it does stand to reason, based on how Burkhalter was otherwise, that he could be angered enough by Hogan to refuse to do something just to show who was boss.
Or, maybe Burkhalter is Nimrod. That, too, is possible. :-)