Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Dick Wolf, not me. You know it.

Here's a little A/O oneshot for all you loyal fans. Enjoy!

I've learned that when Alex says "clean," she doesn't really mean clean; she really means empty. I know this because one day I got home from work and found her "cleaning" the storage room, which actually meant throwing out everything that she either didn't recognize or didn't want or didn't see any potential use for. I watched in horror as she chucked my tattered teddy bear that I'd slept with when I was a child in the trash. "Alex!" I yelped, reaching into the garbage to rescue the stuffed animal. "That's mine!"

She scrunched up her face. "What is it?"

I hugged the bear protectively to my chest. "It's my teddy."

She looked down her nose disapprovingly. "You're too old for a teddy."

I shook my head. "You're never too old for a teddy."

She laughed. "I'm your teddy, Liv."

I clutched the bear even tighter. "Don't touch," I said firmly.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Anything else you don't want me to touch, Olivia?"

"How about, don't touch anything. I'll take care of this mess."

She smirked. "We all know what that means. That's Olivia-speak for it's not going to get done. Ever."

I shook my head. "You're not touching anymore of my stuff."

Her baby blues twinkling, she handed me the garbage back. "Okay, Liv. You do it, then. Call me when you change your mind." Still snickering, she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room.

I reached into a box and screamed when I felt something moving. "Alex!"

She materialized at my side in an instant. "That was quick. Tired of it already?"

I shook my head and pointed at the box. "Bug," I managed to choke out.

The corners of her mouth turned up into a smile that could only be labelled as predatory. "I never thought I'd see the day. Is Olivia Benson, fearless detective who can take on three child molesters at once, afraid of this harmless little thing?" She held a spider in her hands like a trophy.

I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. "Alex!"

She laughed. "You are scared, aren't you?" Glancing down at the bug and pressing her face close to it, she crooned, "You're a harmless little thing, aren't you? You would never hurt my Livvy, otherwise I'd have to kill you myself, you demonic little creature."

"Alex!" I shrieked, backing up so I was against the wall. "Kill it!"

"What should I do with it after I kill it?" she asked with a sly smile.

"I don't care! Throw it in the garbage, flush it down the toilet, eat it for all I care! I don't give a damn! Just get rid of it!"

She looked down at the spider again. "Say goodbye, little buggy," she whispered to it. "Should I give you a kiss before I kill you?"

"You kiss it, you're never touching me again," I threatened.

Her eyes widened and she brought her hand down on the creature, killing it with one blow. "It's dead," she informed me, throwing it in the garbage.

I smiled and kissed her chastely on the lips. "Thank you," I said sweetly.

She grinned. "Okay. Get back to cleaning the storage room. You're not getting dinner – or anything else – until it's done."

What an incentive.

I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot. Review if you did!